Quotes / The Zombie Knight

Garovel: I’m sorry, friend, but I'm not joking. If I were joking, you'd be laughing. I'm hilarious.

Hector: I wish you had a body so I could strangle you...

Garovel: The reason you waited so long to kill yourself, it was because you were waiting for someone to stop you, wasn't it?
Hector: But...no one did...

He barely felt capable of walking, as if he’d just run a marathon where the prize was getting run over by a bus.

Garovel: You're going to feel like I ripped your muscles out of your body and replaced them with flaming needles tomorrow, by the way.

Garovel: In the mean time, you should probably take steps to conceal your identity. If you end up having to take a bullet for this man, it'd be best if he doesn't see your face when you shrug it off.

Garovel: The reason blood tastes metallic is because of iron-containing hemoglobin in your red blood cells.
Hector: What does that have to do with anything...?
Garovel: I just wanted to say something smart.

Garovel: I’m saying we did our best. And we don’t respond to failure with depression. We respond by becoming better. Until our best is good enough.

Colt: I'll do anything. You understand that, kid? There are only two lives that matter to me, and mine ain't one of them.

Bohwanox: Because it’s quiet. It’s like a shadow that doesn’t belong. You don’t realize it's there until the person casting it suddenly moves...and it lingers.

Geoffrey: Why?! You should be mine, now!
Garovel: Fool. You can’t have him. He already belongs to me.

Rofal: Refuse, and I will take both. And I will not kill them, Colt. They will become my children. I have none of my own, you see. I will raise them. They will come to love me. They will come to hate you. And when they are old enough, I will send them to kill you in my name.

Hector: That sounds...
Garovel: Reckless and stupid? Yeah. We won't be attempting that one. The almost-getting-killed part is a dealbreaker for me.

He had no idea what to do at this point. The Rofal empire was a sinking ship, and its new captain didn’t give a shit, because he was a fucking shark.

Damian: Would you like to see a magic trick, young man? Bring me ten rabbits, ten hats, and one machete!
Geoffrey: I like your style, Grandpa.

Gerald: Imagine if they send Ivan or Dunhouser or Jercash or any of a dozen others. Forget about causing trouble. We wouldn’t even be able to run away.

Gerald: Indeed. But I want you to understand that he and I are greedy bastards and that your offer does not fall on deaf ears. And that I am still not going to help you.

Gerald: Still too young for the crown, I see.
Helen: A thousand years would not be enough to make me agree with you. You are mistaken if you think Atreya is meant to protect me. I am meant to protect it.

Mehlsanz: You have someone who can provide fake documentation?
Roman: Have someone? Please. I do all my forgeries myself.

Garovel: Let's go around those. I'd rather not see you ride off a cliff. [Beat] Okay, yes, I would like to see that, but it'd still be really inconvenient.

Garovel: I was awoken by the sound of you lying yourself into a corner.

Colt: I am not a good man. A good man would regret a lot of the things I've done, I think. But I've known good people. Or at least, people who deserved a lot better than what they got. And I figured that I could do things that good people can't.

Dozer: Why do you want to live?
Loren: Why do we need a reason?
Dozer: Because only insects do not have a reason.

Garovel: Hector, look. A Revenant cruiser. And look! A wall you can crash it into!
Hector: Hey, I didn't wreck the last bike. Um. Much.
Garovel: I'm convinced that was only because it wasn't a Revenant.

Colt: So a black market, basically.
Gina: I wouldn’t know anything about that.
Colt: Hector never told you that I used to be a cop, did he?
Gina: So like I was saying, those bunkers are for emergency shelter only.

Garovel: You mean you don't wanna stab yourself for the sake of science?

Garovel: How nervous are you? Give me a number. On a scale of one to ten. One is how you feel when you’re deep in meditation. Ten is how you feel when you have to talk to a girl.

Desmond: Pretty clever! This little plan of yours! I'm quite curious as to how you knew to enact it today, though! If you tell me, I'll do something nice for you! Do you like brownies?! I make amazing brownies!

Desmond: Wake me up when we get there. Or if something catches fire. Or if that plane crashes. I will need to go laugh in Hanjir’s face in the event of that last one.

Roman: My advice? If you find genuinely trustworthy people, hold onto them as best you can. If you don’t have enough space for them in your life, then get a bigger house. Don’t let them go.

Garovel: Pain is just an illusion, Hector. Like friendship or personal happiness.

Helen: Yes, well, protecting people would not be a problem, but it would be helpful if you could avoid taking the blame for crimes you did not commit.
Garovel: There go my plans for the weekend.

William: That was some sixty years ago, and yet you do not look a day over thirty.
Harper: I moisturize.

Maybe it was the eye patch. Maybe she should find a new one. A white one, like her cloak. Or maybe that’d only make it worse. She wondered where in the world she might find fashion tips regarding eye patches. Curiously, that didn’t seem to be a big thing in magazines or on television.

Helen: Trust is not a switch that you flip on or off. Trust is a currency, and everyone must earn it, myself included. The good thing about trust is that it gets easier to earn as you acquire more of it. The bad thing about trust is that once you lose it, it is very difficult to get back.

Momentarily, she wondered if stabbing the Queen would still be considered treason as long as she knew the woman couldn’t die from it.

Hector: You love explaining things.
Garovel: Hell yeah, I do. And why shouldn’t I love it, huh? You get to learn things. I get to sound smart. Nobody gets murdered. Everybody wins, really—I mean, when you think about it, it’s pretty awesome.

Rainlord Motto: The rain fears not the torch.

Asad: Don’t feel bad, oaf. I’m sure Axiolis would have gone to you right away if he needed any big rocks turned into small rocks.

Amelia: I had Helen's word that Hector was a trustworthy young man. And if she trusts him, well... If earning my trust were like learning how to swim, then earning her trust would be like learning how to breathe water.

Ramira: You’re lying! You shouldn’t lie to me! I’m young and impressionable!

Lawrence had, however, made it known that Cisco and Dennex were in his custody at Rheinhal. Apparently, he’d offered them as trade for either one of Axiolis or Shenado. The allied Rainlords responded by sending him an umbrella.

Teen!Zeff: I would rather find more pain in the truth than any solace in a lie.

Garovel: [on Hector's awkwardness with Lynnette] Ponies! She told you she hates ponies, and now you don't think you can be friends with her anymore! I'm right, aren't I?! Man, I'm good at this!

Garovel: I think you'd be surprised. Rejection is very straightforward. No one likes it, but it's way less complicated than acceptance.

Garovel: Would you just listen to my advice? I'm old and wise, dammit.

Garovel: Hmm. Maybe I can convince you with an impression, then. HEY, EVERYONE, I’M THE DARKSTEEL SOLDIER. I’M SUPER SHY AND MODEST, BUT LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT I’M STILL MANAGING TO GIVE MY REAPER. AREN’T I AWESOME? How was that? Pretty accurate, right?

Garovel: That’s actually a pretty common sentiment, though. You’d think more servants would want to be eternally young, but as it turns out, most sixty-year-olds don’t want strangers treating them like they’re twenty-year-olds.

Garovel: And even the ones who DO look for [trouble] like we do probably still don’t find as fucking MUCH of it as we always seem to.

Hector: Right...Hmm. Dozer has a country named after him, but why is Gohvis so famous?
Garovel: Regicide. Genocide. And punching a hole into a volcano that then erupted and wiped out an entire Vanguardian stronghold.

Xuan: Stop, you’ll make me blush. I’m nothing special. [beat] She’s right, though. Don’t try to fight him without me unless you want your servant to be turned into a fleshy pudding.

Garovel: [pretending to be omniscient] Go on. Ask me anything.
Hector: How many raindrops are above Sair at this very moment?
Garovel: Sixty-one billion, three hundred and forty-nine million, two hundred and fifty-two thousand, one hundred and thirty-three. Now, how do you intend to check if I'm wrong, exactly?

Dunstan: Genocide is more than just a mistake.
Rezamaar: Oh, I don't know. Sometimes, you trip over a loose rock and accidentally stab a thousand people in the face. It's important to look at the bigger picture, Dunstan.

Dunstan: If that's really how you feel, then why did you even agree to join the Vanguard with me in the first place?
Rezamaar: Because that was when you were all passionate and adorable about everything. I couldn't tell you no. But now that you're a turgid old curmudgeon, I can.
Dunstan: You're talking about four years ago.
Rezamaar: Yes, and you've aged like a beautiful oak tree that caught fire, fell into a river, and then got pulled along by a current into an illegal dump site for toxic chemicals.

Parson: It's really the eyebrows, though. Very distinctive, those things. You could probably pull them off your face and use them as weapons.
Overra: They’re like angry boomerangs.

Melchor: I cannot tell you.
Xuan: Are you sure? Because I really hate having to fight scary guys like you.

Xuan: [completely changing attitude] I've never had the honor—no, the pleasure—of facing House Blackburn in real battle. And since you've refused every change at clemency, I hope you won't disappoint me. It's been a while since I've had any good mayhem, and I hate it when my opponents die too quickly.

Ibai: Ooh, and then we could all go on an adventure together!
Emiliana: What do you mean by adventure?
Ibai: I don't know. That's how adventures work, right?

Emiliana: You seem to know a lot about it.
Ibai: Do I? That's cool. Studying is boring, but knowing stuff is fun!

The tattooed man and the wall competed for existence. And the wall lost.

Octavia: Have some respect for the deceased, lest you find yourself joining them shortly.

Sanko: Where did you get that?
Octavia: My grandson, Diego. Said he nearly killed himself trying to use it, so he thought I would like it as a birthday present. He is now my favorite grandson.

Evangelina: If you are going to take us prisoner, then please get on with it. I know how much you love to talk, but I would honestly rather be stuck in a holding cell for the next twenty years than listen to you yammer on for another five minutes.

Garovel: Sure, why not? You seem like a nice enough fellow—and not a bloodthirsty psychopath. People who aren't bloodthirsty psychopaths are my favorite, you know.

But that was also the point, he was realizing. Yes, of course, the worst could happen. Everyone could end up dead, and everything could be for naught. That was why people needed someone to protect them. Things were not going to just be okay on their own. Someone had to make them okay.
And that was why he wanted to keep living. To be that someone.

Ibai: I've never had very many friends, you see. Well, I've had my family, of course. They’ve provided such fantastic companionship; I wouldn’t want to give the impression that they haven't. I love them very much. [...] But yes, they are my family. It's a different sort of relationship. I feel there is something uniquely special about becoming friends with someone who is in no way obligated to you already. It’s a bit purer, in an odd way. Or perhaps I am just romanticizing it. What do you think?

Dunstan: I feel we’ve drifted away from my question about Korgum.
Rezamaar: It's not my fault that you ask boring questions. Anyway, about vampire bats...

Hector: How long've we been in Sair?
Garovel: Hardly even a week.
Hector: Seriously? That can't be right. It feels like ages already.
Garovel: When we weren't waiting around for something to happen, we were busy trying not to be mashed into a meaty pudding, as Lord Xuan phrased it. And both of those things tend to make the time drag.

Garovel: Maybe the universe will do us a solid for being such nice people all the time.
Hector: So you believe in karma now?
Garovel: Not even a little bit. If the universe rewarded people for being nice, there wouldn't be so many rich assholes in the world. Also, nature itself would be fundamentally different, and evolution as we know it would be dramatically altered. "Survival of the fittest" would be "survival of the friendliest." Which sounds pretty awesome, actually. If I ever visit an alternate reality, I hope it's one where that's somehow a rule.

Ibai: Life’s not a game, Papa. You taught me that.
Ismael: *blinks*
Ibai: But, if it WERE a game, then it’d be a really difficult one with way too many moving pieces and poorly defined rules. And hidden objectives, too. That would be the most unfair part, I think. Sometimes, the game would tell you to do one thing when you really needed to do something else.
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