"Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad."
—r/D&D user Tan d20
"Isn't a tomato–based fruit salad just salsa?"
"Guys, we found the bard!"
—not–infrequent follow–up
