Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the Pain.
Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Humperdinck: And then my ears. I understand. Let's get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Humperdinck: I think you're bluffing.
(Dramatic Pause as Westley partially rises and lifts his sword.)
Westley: Drop. Your. Sword.
[Humperdinck's sword falls]
"Life is pain, Highness. Anybody who says otherwise is selling something."
— Man in Black
Inigo: I donna suppose you could speed things up?
Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo: But, I promise not to kill you until you reach the top!
Man in Black: That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
Inigo: (mutters) I hate waiting... (to the Man in Black) I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
Man in Black: No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
Inigo: Is there any way you'll trust me?
Man in Black: None that comes to mind.
Inigo: I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
Man in Black: Throw me the rope.
Vizzini: Inconceivable!
Inigo: You Keep Using That Word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo: (during a swordfight) You are wonderful.
Man in Black: Thank you. I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo: I must admit that you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo: I Am Not Left-Handed!
(later in the duel)
Man in Black: There's something I ought to tell you...
Inigo: What? Tell me.
Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either.
You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line! Ahahaha! Ahahah! Ahahaha—! *drops dead*.
— Vizzini after a failed attempt at tricking the Man in Black
"As you wish."
— Wesley
Grandfather: She doesn't get eaten by the eel at this time.
Boy: What?
Grandfather: The eel doesn't get her. I thought I'd mention that 'cause you looked a bit worried.
Boy: I wasn't worried. Maybe I was a little bit concerned, but that's not the same thing.
Inigo: Offer me money.
Count Rugen: Yes!
Inigo: Power, too, promise me that.
Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please...
Inigo: Offer me everything I ask for.
Count Rugen: Anything you want...
I always think everything could be a trap. Which is why I'm still alive.
— Prince Humperdinck, The Princess Bride
(Westley is wheeled into a chamber with a large machine, consisting of a water wheel connected to a collection of gears pipes and a large switch. Count Rugen's assistant commences restraining him on a cot and connecting tubes to his head and body as he speaks)
Count Rugen: (Gestures to device) Beautiful, isn't it? Took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently, I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest on how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting.
(Rugen reaches over to the handle of the switch and raises it to '1'. A hatch opens under the device and water flows out, causing the wheel to turn. Westley begins twitching and moaning in pain. After a few seconds Rugen turns the device off. Westley continues twitching in agony.)
Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old, really that's all this is, except instead of sucking water. I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you, so let's just start with what we have. Tell me — and remember, this is for posterity, so be honest: how do you feel?
(Westley begins sobbing)
Count Rugen: Interesting. (writes notes on a page)
