Real Life
I still lack to a considerable degree that naturally superior kind of manner that I would dearly like to possess.
Mussolini is the biggest bluff in Europe. If Mussolini would have me taken out and shot tomorrow morning I would still regard him as a bluff.
They keep calling me a dwarf, but I'm taller than Sarkozy and Putin.
Observe how cleverly Maugham, while arranging the statues of the writers he has chosen to grace his special pantheon, will chop off a head here, a pair of legs there, a couple of feet, or arms, as suits his purpose so that finally, only a certain short, wizened man of letters, Maugham himself, is left standing erect; whole and complete, towering over them all.
Seriously, if we all perish in a nuclear Holocaust because of this ass backwards, piddly shit little country, I'll be mad. If I'm gonna get nuked, it better damn well be by a Russian. The apocalypse deserves better than Kim Jong Un.
—Drew Magary
, Make It Stop
, Make It StopDan Snyder looks like every 80s comedy villain poured into a five foot mold.
Most dictators were short, fat, middle-aged and hairless. Besides Danny DeVito, there’s only me to play them.
When Justin Bieber’s Calvin Klein underoos ads hit the internet on Tuesday, I think we can agree that our eyes were assaulted by two things: the face of a bratty toddler trying desperately to look “all growed up”, and Photoshop. So much Photoshop. It was so cartoonish, I was convinced Justin was just standing behind one of those old timey muscleman cut-outs at the beach.
And it looks like everyone’s Photoshop suspicions might have been right... Said source also described Bieber as “basically a douche” who kept hitting on model Lara Stone until she made a crack about him being a “child”. The source goes on to say that during the shoot, Canada’s shame kept mentioning that he wanted them to make him look “taller and buff”. Awww that’s cute. I think we can all remember being at that age where you stand on your tippy-toes every time your mom goes to measure your height against the wall because you want to look soooo big.
A larger (HA!) pic of Justin Bieber’s before shot is after the cut, so grab your magnifying glasses and let’s Inspector Clouseau this shit.
And it looks like everyone’s Photoshop suspicions might have been right... Said source also described Bieber as “basically a douche” who kept hitting on model Lara Stone until she made a crack about him being a “child”. The source goes on to say that during the shoot, Canada’s shame kept mentioning that he wanted them to make him look “taller and buff”. Awww that’s cute. I think we can all remember being at that age where you stand on your tippy-toes every time your mom goes to measure your height against the wall because you want to look soooo big.
A larger (HA!) pic of Justin Bieber’s before shot is after the cut, so grab your magnifying glasses and let’s Inspector Clouseau this shit.
Short people are closer to the ground and closer to satan
Fiction
Marina: Pearl, I'm guessing you're Team Super Star?
Pearl: What?! No way. Super Mushroom for life!
Marina: Oh, really? I thought maybe you wouldn't want to, uh, admit...
Pearl: ADMIT WHAT?!
Marina: Um... Just, uh... You know, that you're not... Eh... Big...enough...already?
Pearl: What?! No way. Super Mushroom for life!
Marina: Oh, really? I thought maybe you wouldn't want to, uh, admit...
Pearl: ADMIT WHAT?!
Marina: Um... Just, uh... You know, that you're not... Eh... Big...enough...already?
Yeah, I'm short alright... AND SO'S MY TEMPER!!!
— Tiff, Kirby: Right Back at Ya!
"My game plan all my life has been to demand acceptance of this," a vague wave down the length, or shortness, of his body, "because I was a smart-ass little bastard who could think rings around the opposition, and prove it time after time.
— Miles Vorkosigan, Mirror Dance
What a jerk! I swear, that Napoleon must have some kind of complex or something.
— Abraham Lincoln, Clone High
You know what they say: tiny man, huge ego.
— Nigel, The Devil Wears Prada
I just remembered... my father often tried to make himself taller. Whenever times were hard, my father would try to make himself taller. When he got downsized, when the debt collectors came calling, when the company went out of business, he tried to make himself taller. My mother also tried to make herself taller that one time...
— Kafuka Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei
Bond always mistrusted short men. They grew up from childhood with an inferiority complex. All their lives they would strive to be big - bigger than the others who had teased them as a child. Napoleon had been short, and Hitler. It was the short men that caused all the trouble in the world.
Stephen: Why are so many great men short?
David: Are they, really?
Stephen: David...you hit the nail on the head.
David: Are they, really?
Stephen: David...you hit the nail on the head.
— QI
I don't have a Napoleon complex, Napoleon had a me complex! Don't cross me!
— Dr. Diminutive, Phineas and Ferb
DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK DOWN YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!
— Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist
Ready, little man?
— Android 18 to Vegeta, Dragon Ball Z
Jeice: 'M not that short, Cap'n.
Captain Ginyu: Oh, don't go all "Vegeta" on me.
Captain Ginyu: Oh, don't go all "Vegeta" on me.
Is that a short joke?!
—Veigar's Catchphrase from League of Legends
Ya pet named me Napoleon/I was proud 'till I got the reason why!
Vi: [King Hector IV]'s sure packing a lot of anger for a short guy!
Leif: Really? YOU'd make short jokes? At a KING?
Vi: I never get to! I've gotta take the chance!
Kabbu: Just uh, make sure he doesn't sic the guards on you...
Leif: Really? YOU'd make short jokes? At a KING?
Vi: I never get to! I've gotta take the chance!
Kabbu: Just uh, make sure he doesn't sic the guards on you...
Mad because Small! Jealous of tall!
Throughout recorded history, humanity had suffered under the tyranny of short people. Napoleon Bonaparte, who subjugated Europe and drastically reduced the stature of his Grand Army in the ill-fated invasion of Russia. Benito Mussolini, the fascist dictator who brought Italy to ruin and made his country a mere stunted vassal of Hitler's Germany. But all of them paled in sheer wickedness and depravity compared to the Great Tyrant.
— B'Elannarella
When you're small, it feels good to imagine yourself with power. Imagine pummeling someone who's wronged you so hard they never get up.
— May, Mochi in Frosting
HEY! I'm average height for the time, you jerks!
— Napoleon, OverSimplified
You just called me a kid, didn't you!? Damn it! You're making fun of me! I'm gonna make you pay for that!
— Doris Warmind, RosenkreuzStilette Freudenstachel
Kid?! I'll show you who the kid is around here!
— Gibril, Azure Striker Gunvolt 2
"Curley’s like a lot of little guys. He hates big guys. He’s alla time picking scraps with big guys. Kind of like he’s mad at ’em because he ain’t a big guy. You seen little guys like that, ain’t you? Always scrappy?"
— Candy, Of Mice and Men
