Comic Books
"You can't ever like Frank Castle, but you sure as hell can appreciate the man."
Peter Parker: I told you! We're recruiting my younger self to help get Tinkerer!
J. Jonah Jameson: But why him? Why not get the Avengers or whoever?
Peter Parker: Look, this may surprise you... but at this stage of my career... Everyone hates me.
J. Jonah Jameson: But why him? Why not get the Avengers or whoever?
Peter Parker: Look, this may surprise you... but at this stage of my career... Everyone hates me.
— Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man Issue #301
None of us liked Roy Chambers, a.k.a. the Blue Blade. Or, as he like to announce it-
The BLUUUUUUE BLAAAAAAAAADE!
He thought he was the next Errol Flynn, destined to see his name in neon letters fifty feet high.
He was a drunk and a loser and nobody liked him.
The BLUUUUUUE BLAAAAAAAAADE!
He thought he was the next Errol Flynn, destined to see his name in neon letters fifty feet high.
He was a drunk and a loser and nobody liked him.
Film — Animation
(While under the effects of the toxic fumes)
Manny: (squeaky voice) You know what's funny though? We're trying to save Sid, and now we're all going to die!
(he, Diego, Crash, and Eddie all laugh)
Eddie: (squeaky voice) And I don't even like Sid!
Crash: (squeaky voice) Who does? He's an idiot!
(they laugh again)
Manny: (squeaky voice) You know what's funny though? We're trying to save Sid, and now we're all going to die!
(he, Diego, Crash, and Eddie all laugh)
Eddie: (squeaky voice) And I don't even like Sid!
Crash: (squeaky voice) Who does? He's an idiot!
(they laugh again)
Film — Live-Action
Neil: [on Cameron] Hey, he's your roommate.
Charlie: That's not my fault.
Charlie: That's not my fault.
Doctor: [on Lou] You're his friends, right?
Nick: It's like that friend who's the asshole. He's our asshole.
Nick: It's like that friend who's the asshole. He's our asshole.
Takopa: [on Hiram Gummer] Can I shoot him?
Christine: No... we need him.
Christine: No... we need him.
Literature
Mary Vance, to tell the truth, was not exactly popular with any of her set. Still, they enjoyed her society—she had such a biting tongue that it was stimulating. "Mary Vance is a habit of ours—we can't do without her even when we are furious with her," Di Blythe had once said.
Dear Gawd, when did I start thinking of JOBE as a friend, and not hazardous terrain to be avoided?
— Jadis Diabolik, Whateley Universe
Live-Action TV
Barney: You guys know how it's hard to be friends with me 'cause I'm so awesome?
Ted: Yes, it's hard to be friends with you, go on.
Ted: Yes, it's hard to be friends with you, go on.
Don: Do you think it's weird that Robin is still friends with Barney?
Ted: I think it's weird that we're all still friends with Barney.
Ted: I think it's weird that we're all still friends with Barney.
"Every group of friends has one person that they all make fun of. Like us with Elaine."
— George Costanza (the actual holder of this status in the group), Seinfeld
"You were willing to risk your own marriage just to hurt me! [...] Put me down, take a girl away from me, whatever it takes to make you feel superior. Just remember, Mark, besides Becky I'm the only person around here who gives a crap about you!"
— David to Mark, Roseanne, "Lost Youth"
Wesley: Illyria can be... difficult. Testing her might be hard without getting someone seriously hurt.
Angel: We'll make Spike do it.
Wesley: Good.
Angel: We'll make Spike do it.
Wesley: Good.
— Angel
Jayne: Anybody remember [River] comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
[...]
Zoe: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife!
Zoe: Anyone we can't spare.
[...]
Zoe: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife!
Zoe: Anyone we can't spare.
— Firefly, "Objects in Space"
"Dude, are you gonna make me say it? They don't like me; you're my only friend."
— Craig, Out of Jimmy's Head
Kryten: Would you describe the accused [Rimmer] as a friend?
Lister: No, I'd describe the accused as a git.
Kryten: Who would you say, then, is the person who thinks of him most fondly?
Lister: (Beat) I do.
Lister: No, I'd describe the accused as a git.
Kryten: Who would you say, then, is the person who thinks of him most fondly?
Lister: (Beat) I do.
— Red Dwarf, "Justice"
"No one likes you!"
— Jade to Trina, Victorious
"Your friends... they like you. The only thing they don't like is... when you get mad, and you start yelling and having temper tantrums."
— Henry Hart to Piper Hart, Henry Danger, "JAM Session"
Tabletop Games
Sir Jebediah is one of those people everyone wants to keep around but nobody wants to spend any time with. A pale man with a grating voice, a weak, clammy handshake and a sniveling demeanor, he is welcomed for his gifts but despised for his personality. He toadies to one and all, going so far as to assume a servile attitude to even the most pathetic mortal of any status, yet he makes no attempts to hide his constant paranoia, and often rudely questions people as to their motives. Money flows through his fingers easily - whether the cause be orphans, a new branch of scientific research or some other cause, Sir Jebediah is always willing to make a donation, regardless of whether the supplicant has any credibility to speak of.
All this doesn't win him any friends among his fellow Kindred. Even his fellow Malkavians look down on him with a mixture of pity and disgust.
Video Games
"He [David King] meets with Tommy. Tommy has no room for him in his apartment. Wishes he did, but he doesn't. Mick wants to help but his old lady won't let him. Same with Bill and Harry. His ex has moved on and she doesn't want to see his face. Something about being a shithead."
— Manchester Mashup, Dead by Daylight
"Now that's the BB we know and...tolerate!"
— Protagonist, Fate/Grand Order
Web Original
Matt Ryan: Drew Brees bet me that there would be less than 4,000 defensive penalty flags in the games this week, and the actual number was 4,002. SO I WON!
RGIII: What were the stakes?
Matt Ryan: The loser had to agree to be Tony Romo's best friend for an ENTIRE YEAR! HAHAHA!
Drew Brees: You can't expect me to honor that bet! IT'S INHUMAN!
Tony Romo: You bet WHAT? On one hand, the fact that you guys consider a friendship with me to be some sort of punishment is pretty insulting. On the other hand, YAY! DREW BREES AND I ARE NOW BESTIES!!! BFFs FOREVER, WHOOO!!!
Drew Brees: KILL ME NOW!
RGIII: What were the stakes?
Matt Ryan: The loser had to agree to be Tony Romo's best friend for an ENTIRE YEAR! HAHAHA!
Drew Brees: You can't expect me to honor that bet! IT'S INHUMAN!
Tony Romo: You bet WHAT? On one hand, the fact that you guys consider a friendship with me to be some sort of punishment is pretty insulting. On the other hand, YAY! DREW BREES AND I ARE NOW BESTIES!!! BFFs FOREVER, WHOOO!!!
Drew Brees: KILL ME NOW!
Tristan: Hey, look! It's some random stranger we've never met before!
Joey: Excuse me, pal, but have you seen any minor characters from Season One around here?
Bakura: Actually, guys it's me, Bakura! I was a minor character in Season One, remember?
Joey: Sorry, pal, doesn't ring a bell. Wait, were you one of the Paradox Brothers?
Téa: Look, guys! Mako Tsunami is performing at the local aquarium!
Joey: Mako Tsunami?! I'd recognise that guy anywhere! He's the minorest of minor characters! I smell a card game!
Bakura: Oh, come on, you remember that wanker, but you don't know who I am? We go to the same bloody school!
Joey: Tristan, is that guy talking to us?
Tristan: It's difficult to say.
Bakura: Oh, sod off!
Jet Jaguar: [regarding Gorosaurus] Dude, he's fucked up.
Rodan: Yeah, he scares the shit out of me.
Rodan: Yeah, he scares the shit out of me.
Shuck: (after Lucy drives his Old Flame away) What the fuck is your game, then?
Lucy: Don't waste your time with that rabble. You can do so much better.
Shuck: Do better with who? I'm trapped in this fuckin' house all day, been talkin' to the same faces for years, nobody to confide in!
Lucy: You've got me....
Shuck: But who the fuck are you, Lucy? Everything you say or do is some part of a scheme, or, or a game you play in your head! You torture Winifred, you confuse Hyzenthlay, terrify Fleischer. You only ever engage with me or Sullivan when you're bored! It's like you see the world as a puzzle you have to unravel, and me and all the others, we're just part of it, right?
Hawkman: Come on guys, you're gonna call me useless but have Aquaman on the team? I mean, it's Aquaman, come on?
Batman: Calling Aquaman lame is his identity. It's marketable. With him it's kind of fun and light hearted but with you it's kind of ... sad.
Batman: Calling Aquaman lame is his identity. It's marketable. With him it's kind of fun and light hearted but with you it's kind of ... sad.
Nico: No wonder TV Tropes lists you as the friend that nobody likes.
Emu: Looks like someone hasn’t read the fanfics.
Nico: I know. I wrote some of them.
You don't know what I'm talking about, because you have never had it any other way. But go back to being a toddler and relive your life as the weird kid, or the fat kid, or the poor kid. Reach age 12 or 13 and see a group of females give you the same look they give to a spider they found in the bathtub. Go back and get familiar with that body language that says, "No one will be happy or relaxed until you leave." Go back and live your life in a universe that bites your hand when you try to reach out to it. Then see what your confidence is like at age 23.
Geek Social Fallacy #1: Ostracizers Are Evil
GSF 1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many geeks have had horrible, humiliating, and formative experiences with ostracism, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them.
In its non-pathological form, GSF 1 is benign, and even commendable: it is long past time we all grew up and stopped with the junior high popularity games. However, in its pathological form, GSF 1 prevents its carrier from participating in — or tolerating — the exclusion of anyone from anything, be it a party, a comic book store, or a web forum, and no matter how obnoxious, offensive, or aromatic the prospective excludee may be.
As a result, nearly every geek social group of significant size has at least one member that 80% of the members hate, and the remaining 20% merely tolerate.
GSF 1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many geeks have had horrible, humiliating, and formative experiences with ostracism, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them.
In its non-pathological form, GSF 1 is benign, and even commendable: it is long past time we all grew up and stopped with the junior high popularity games. However, in its pathological form, GSF 1 prevents its carrier from participating in — or tolerating — the exclusion of anyone from anything, be it a party, a comic book store, or a web forum, and no matter how obnoxious, offensive, or aromatic the prospective excludee may be.
As a result, nearly every geek social group of significant size has at least one member that 80% of the members hate, and the remaining 20% merely tolerate.
Webcomics
Belkar: I just told you he tried to kill me!
Vaarsuvius: Oh, my, what a completely unprecedented reaction to spending more than ten minutes in your company.
Vaarsuvius: Oh, my, what a completely unprecedented reaction to spending more than ten minutes in your company.
So you know how your and your buddies have an idiot friend who you like, but you make fun of him?
No.
Huh. You should ask your friends if they have an idiot friend. The answer may surprise you.
No.
Huh. You should ask your friends if they have an idiot friend. The answer may surprise you.
Web Animation
Trunks: How are these people friends with you [Vegeta]!?
Tien: Makin' a lot of assumptions right now.
Tien: Makin' a lot of assumptions right now.
We have a lot of nicknames for Gareth [Bale]. Like "The Martian", because we don't like him. "The Golfer", because we don't like him. Or like, "Less-Good Ronaldo", because we don't like him.
— Marcelo, The Champions
Web Video
Todd: I have a question: why do girls always have the token evil friend?
[plays clip from movie]
Kaya: Why are we friends with her?
Todd: That's a good question. That's an excellent question.
[plays clip from movie]
Kaya: Why are we friends with her?
Todd: That's a good question. That's an excellent question.
— Todd in the Shadows, From Justin to Kelly review
Western Animation
Cartman is your friend whether you like him or not!
— Chef to Stan and Kyle, South Park
Kyle, this is Cartman. He's my...sort-of...friend-ish.
—Kyle Broflovski (introducing his cousin Kyle to Cartman), South Park
Mordecai: What's your problem?! This has nothing to do with work! He just wanted the hat!
Benson: And look where it got him! Your friend over there is only gonna get you into trouble!
Mordecai: (scoffs) Right! Take advice from Benson about friends, since you've got so many of 'em!
Benson: I have friends.
Mordecai: No, you don't; everyone only hangs out with you because you're our boss!
Benson: And look where it got him! Your friend over there is only gonna get you into trouble!
Mordecai: (scoffs) Right! Take advice from Benson about friends, since you've got so many of 'em!
Benson: I have friends.
Mordecai: No, you don't; everyone only hangs out with you because you're our boss!
Real Life
"I had an epiphany, and here it is right here: there is one person in every group of friends...that nobody fucking likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts. When that person is not around the rest of your little base camp, your hobby is cutting that person down. Example: Karen is always a douchebag. Every group has a Karen, and she's always a bag of douche! And when she's not around, you just look at each other and go, 'God, Karen, she's such a douchebag!' — until she walks up, and then you're like, 'Hey, what's up, Kar?' [...] There's always that one person—and I'm looking out, and some of you guys are like, 'Mmm, I disagree.' Well, you're the person...you're the person nobody likes."
