Comic Books
Absorbing Man: Lady, whoever you are, you picked the wrong fella to pay dress-up with. 'Cause Crusher Creel ain't got time for fun and games.
Thor/Jane Foster: And thou, Creel, hast chosen the wrong hour in which to plunder the wealth of Midgard. For Thor once more stands watch over the realms of men!
Absorbing Man: Thor? Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to call you Thor? Damn feminists are ruining everything! You wanna be a chick superhero? Fine, who the hell cares? But get your own identity. Thor's a dude. One of the last manly dudes still left. What'd you do, send him to sensitivity training so he'd stop calling Earth girls "wenches"?
Thor: I do not care what you call me, Absorbing Man. Just be certain to inform your new cellmates that 'twas a woman who returned you to prison.
Thor/Jane Foster: And thou, Creel, hast chosen the wrong hour in which to plunder the wealth of Midgard. For Thor once more stands watch over the realms of men!
Absorbing Man: Thor? Are you kidding me? I'm supposed to call you Thor? Damn feminists are ruining everything! You wanna be a chick superhero? Fine, who the hell cares? But get your own identity. Thor's a dude. One of the last manly dudes still left. What'd you do, send him to sensitivity training so he'd stop calling Earth girls "wenches"?
Thor: I do not care what you call me, Absorbing Man. Just be certain to inform your new cellmates that 'twas a woman who returned you to prison.
Film — Live-Action
Jack: I had an old college roommate that tried his hand at Hollywood. But with one rejection after another, he finally left, seething with bitterness for those who had found their success.
Dallen: What did he wind up doing?
Jack: Movie critic.
Dallen: What did he wind up doing?
Jack: Movie critic.
Literature
Imbecility, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
The Lord of the Rings has been read by many people since it finally appeared in print; and I should like to say something here with reference to the many opinions or guesses that I have received or have read concerning the motives and meaning of the tale. The prime motive was the desire of a tale-teller to try his hand at a really long story that would hold the attention of readers, amuse them, delight them, and at times maybe excite them or deeply move them. As a guide I had only my own feelings for what is appealing or moving, and for many the guide was inevitably often at fault. Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible; and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer. But even from the points of view of many who have enjoyed my story there is much that fails to please. It is perhaps not possible in a long tale to please everybody at all points, nor to displease everybody at the same points; for I find from the letters that I have received that passages or chapters that are to some a blemish are all by others specially approved. The most critical reader of all, myself, now finds many defects, minor and major, but being fortunately under no obligation either to review the book or to write it again, he will pass over these in silence, except one that has been noted by others: the book is too short.
— J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings, "Foreword to the Second Edition"
Music
Welcome to the mountaintop, where we make the bodies drop
Naughty boys and girls get chopped up into diamonds, open shop
Copped a decent crop of follows, all those asking me "how?"
They spot the name, the fame, start shaming, raising their brows
All like "Easy for you to say, Little Miss Company Hire"
As if these moves did not take heartache and these tracks are not fire!
As if this back did not break over and over? I near expired!
As if a million skeletons hit that "Subscribe" for satire!
Naughty boys and girls get chopped up into diamonds, open shop
Copped a decent crop of follows, all those asking me "how?"
They spot the name, the fame, start shaming, raising their brows
All like "Easy for you to say, Little Miss Company Hire"
As if these moves did not take heartache and these tracks are not fire!
As if this back did not break over and over? I near expired!
As if a million skeletons hit that "Subscribe" for satire!
Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, occasional guardian newspaper journal-oust
That it's been three years since you wrote it,
And time is very healing.
But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face,
And make your children watch while I force you to eat them.
That it's been three years since you wrote it,
And time is very healing.
But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face,
And make your children watch while I force you to eat them.
— Tim Minchin, "Song for Phil Daoust"
Tell me why you're in this game
There's better use for your pen
Than criticising others for doing their thing.
There's better use for your pen
Than criticising others for doing their thing.
— John Butler Trio, "Don't Wanna See Your Face"
"Fuck that mumbling shit, fuck that mumbling shit"
I bought a crib for my mama off that mumbling shit
I bought a crib for my mama off that mumbling shit
Web Video
So the villain in the first Avengers movie hinged his whole plan on "Pft! Putting all these different superheroes together on a team? That's a dumb idea that won't work!" And then the villain in the second Avengers movie was all about "Superheroes are dumb, and would cause more problems than they'd solve!" And now the villain in the third Avengers movie—featuring the most Marvel Cinematic Universe characters ever assembled in one project—is a guy whose whole deal turns out to be "I think there's too many people in this damn universe!" I see you, Marvel...
Western Animation
Like, for instance, if you're watching a TV show and you decide to take your values from that, you're an idiot. Maybe you should take responsibility for what values your kids are getting. Maybe you shouldn't be letting your kids watch certain shows in the first place if you have such a big problem with them, instead of blaming the shows themselves. (looks at the viewer) Yeah.
— Peter, Family Guy, "Boys Do Cry"
Original Lion-O: I've been watching you all from my perch in the Cartoon Afterlife. You've shown me that ThunderCats Roar is a worthy successor. And anyone who says otherwise has a poop mouth with poop opinions.
Cyborg: Well I guess that settles it.
Beast Boy: Yo, this cat has spoken.
2019 Lion-O: Gosh, thanks for the completely unforced endorsement, original me!
Cyborg: Well I guess that settles it.
Beast Boy: Yo, this cat has spoken.
2019 Lion-O: Gosh, thanks for the completely unforced endorsement, original me!
— Teen Titans Go!, "Teen Titans Roar"
Real Life
"If anyone really pisses you off, depict them in your comic as a ridiculous strawman and mock them with infuriating self-righteousness. You know, kind of like exactly what I'm doing now."
— Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw, offering some advice for budding webcomic artists.
