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Comic Books
"I really find you very attractive. Did I say that out loud?"
— Deadpool to The Mighty Thor
Fan Works
"Stupid sexy Rei..."
— Asuka, Advice and Trust, Chapter 8
"And the Empress, woof! I’m mostly straight and she makes me reach for the ice water and a fan."
— Ching, A Crown of Stars, Chapter 16
“If I was gay…”
— Divine Disasters on the Somniel
, on Princess Ivy.
, on Princess Ivy. Literature
"I fly to Los Angeles. I am seated across the aisle from Kurt Russell. Now, listen: I am a happily married man. But I am not embarrassed to say that Kurt Russell is an extremely handsome man. And apparently he grew his eye back since he escaped from New York."
— John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require
Live-Action TV
"She wants everyone to think she’s such a perfect princess just because she’s tall and glamorous and has cappuccino skin and curves everywhere and now I’m complimenting her and kind of turned on."
— Eleanor on Tahani, The Good Place
Elaine: Do either one of you know that blond guy who's always on that show, the really handsome guy?
George: I, uh... I wouldn't know.
Elaine: You know, just admitting that a guy is handsome doesn't make you a homosexual.
George: It doesn't help.
George: I, uh... I wouldn't know.
Elaine: You know, just admitting that a guy is handsome doesn't make you a homosexual.
George: It doesn't help.
— Seinfeld
Web Animation
"Ha-a, dar dar dar dar DA-A!! So confused... what to think? Hot Homestar!? My brain is splitting in half!"
— Strong Bad, Homestar Runner
"So, the new feature is Cat Suits. Meaning suits made to look like cats, not Luigi running around in skintight — sorry, lost my train of thought."
Webcomics
DM: This is just too weird.
Aragorn: Oh, come on. You said she was hot! "Tall, slim, and graceful, with golden hair," you said.
DM: That's the same description I gave you for Legolas.
Aragorn: Like I said: HOT!
Aragorn: Oh, come on. You said she was hot! "Tall, slim, and graceful, with golden hair," you said.
DM: That's the same description I gave you for Legolas.
Aragorn: Like I said: HOT!
"I have been told I could make straight men see rainbows."
"I have something of a man crush on Ron Perlman..."
— Lothar Hex, Exterminatus Now
"OMG! I think I love you. And I'm not even gay! I'm so confused."
— Unnamed Guy, to Thaddeus Euphemism, The Petri Dish
Web Original
"…this just in. I'm gay now."
"Im a straight male but damn is Luigi hot."
"Have u ever regretted making a comment."
"Have u ever regretted making a comment."
— Miiverse post (The second was made 20 minutes later)
(206): Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
(512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
(512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
"I [sic] am not gay but when he smiles he makes me Comfortably Numb"
— Comment on a YouTube video of David Gilmour
"Santana Lopez
still making us all question our sexualities"
still making us all question our sexualities"
"when even the lesbian icon says you’re sexy, you know you’re doing something right."
Web Video
"Oh my God, you could grind meat on th— BAH!"
— Freeza, at eye level with Goku's abs, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
"Ah. The return of the why-boner. With a vengeance."
— Alucard, Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, upon meeting the androgynous Cat Boy Schrödinger
Western Animation
Homer Simpson: Okay, don't panic. Remember what the instructor said.
[flashback of the ski instructor]
Ski instructor: If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is...
[flashback changes suddenly to Ned Flanders in a form-fitting latex ski suit]
Ned Flanders: [wiggling butt] Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all! [close-up of Ned's butt] Nothin' at all! [closer close-up of Ned's butt] Nothin' at all!
Homer: [screams, cringes] Stupid sexy Flanders!
[flashback of the ski instructor]
Ski instructor: If you ever get into trouble, all you need to do is...
[flashback changes suddenly to Ned Flanders in a form-fitting latex ski suit]
Ned Flanders: [wiggling butt] Feels like I'm wearing nothin' at all! [close-up of Ned's butt] Nothin' at all! [closer close-up of Ned's butt] Nothin' at all!
Homer: [screams, cringes] Stupid sexy Flanders!
"Don't be intimidated, Squidward. Try to imagine him in his underwear. [imagines Squilliam in his underwear with a muscular body and boxers] Oh no, he's hot!"
— Squidward, SpongeBob SquarePants, "Squilliam Returns"
Miscellaneous
"I have never felt so much good female energy around me, I can’t take my eyes off of them, I’m 99% sure that I will leave this movie a lesbian."
— Kristen Bell on the female cast for the musical drama film Burlesque
"I think I'm developing a man-crush on Ginko."
— Jason Miao, Derailed by Darry
"Now, for those of you who don't speak 'guy' fluently, 'looks like gay porn' is sexually-insecure-straight-male for 'I immediately recognize that this depiction of the masculine figure is intended to be arousing, and said recognition makes me uncomfortable.'"
