A pair of savage bloodhounds are a-thirsting for the kill.
If one dog fails to eat me up, the other surely will.
They're gaining fast, with open jaws,
You enter — and we pause —
"Darling, what did you do to provoke these dogs?"
If one dog fails to eat me up, the other surely will.
They're gaining fast, with open jaws,
You enter — and we pause —
"Darling, what did you do to provoke these dogs?"
—Goldilocks, "The Beast In You"
"The contrast attains its maximum when, in accordance with the logical consequences of slave-morality, a shade of depreciation— it may be slight and well-intentioned— at last attaches itself to the “good” man of this morality; because, according to the servile mode of thought, the good man must in any case be the safe man: he is good-natured, easily deceived, perhaps a little stupid, un bonhomme. Everywhere that slave-morality gains the ascendancy, language shows a tendency to approximate the significations of the words “good” and “stupid.”"
— Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good And Evil
"Oh, the poor wretch, he has a faulty gun... he's accidentally shot me five times! Oh, how I love him!"
— Good Kryten, Red Dwarf
*I will eat you up! I will eat... I will rip.. Tear...*
* Oh, are you hungry, then?* Harry reached out and petted the hard greenish scales gently. *That's not surprising, actually. It's got to be hard to find enough food when you are this size...*
* I will eat you!* insisted the serpent.
Harry had to laugh. *Oh, no, Mr. Basilisk, I'm not food. And neither is Tom, of course. But if you hang on a minute, I'll find you some sausages or something - the Slytherin boys always sneak some up to the common room with them after lunch. Ron always seems to get hungry in the late afternoon, and Crabbe and Goyle as well. Oh, but I do have an apple in my pocket.* Harry produced the apple and handed it to the poor snake. The apple looked ridiculously tiny compared to the vast green serpent.
* Oh, are you hungry, then?* Harry reached out and petted the hard greenish scales gently. *That's not surprising, actually. It's got to be hard to find enough food when you are this size...*
* I will eat you!* insisted the serpent.
Harry had to laugh. *Oh, no, Mr. Basilisk, I'm not food. And neither is Tom, of course. But if you hang on a minute, I'll find you some sausages or something - the Slytherin boys always sneak some up to the common room with them after lunch. Ron always seems to get hungry in the late afternoon, and Crabbe and Goyle as well. Oh, but I do have an apple in my pocket.* Harry produced the apple and handed it to the poor snake. The apple looked ridiculously tiny compared to the vast green serpent.
Michael: Say, Gwendolyn.
Gwendolyn: Hmm?
Michael: I need to speak with the committee regarding an urgent matter.
Gwendolyn: Oh, sorry, you'd have to contact them directly, and that's definitely against the rules.
Michael: I see. How would I contact them, though, if it weren't against the rules?
Gwendolyn: Well, by calling them on that phone, but I can't let you use it.
Michael: Right, and even if it weren't against the rules, I don't know the number, and you wouldn't tell me.
Gwendolyn: [chuckles] I couldn't. There are no numbers. You pick it up and it connects you to whomever you want, but you can't use it.
Michael: Of course not. Just as a hypothetical—
Gwendolyn: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Is there any way that you would know if I did use the phone? Any kind of alarm?
Gwendolyn: Golly, no.
Michael: So, it's entirely untraceable?
Gwendolyn: Sure is. What a fun thought experiment.
Michael: You said it, Gwendolyn.
Gwendolyn: Uh-huh.
Michael: Say, is that a dog barking in another room?
Gwendolyn: I doubt it, because I don't have a dog. But out of politeness and an abundance of caution, I'll go check. [leaves] Hello, doggy.
[Michael immediately uses the phone]
Gwendolyn: Hmm?
Michael: I need to speak with the committee regarding an urgent matter.
Gwendolyn: Oh, sorry, you'd have to contact them directly, and that's definitely against the rules.
Michael: I see. How would I contact them, though, if it weren't against the rules?
Gwendolyn: Well, by calling them on that phone, but I can't let you use it.
Michael: Right, and even if it weren't against the rules, I don't know the number, and you wouldn't tell me.
Gwendolyn: [chuckles] I couldn't. There are no numbers. You pick it up and it connects you to whomever you want, but you can't use it.
Michael: Of course not. Just as a hypothetical—
Gwendolyn: Mm-hmm.
Michael: Is there any way that you would know if I did use the phone? Any kind of alarm?
Gwendolyn: Golly, no.
Michael: So, it's entirely untraceable?
Gwendolyn: Sure is. What a fun thought experiment.
Michael: You said it, Gwendolyn.
Gwendolyn: Uh-huh.
Michael: Say, is that a dog barking in another room?
Gwendolyn: I doubt it, because I don't have a dog. But out of politeness and an abundance of caution, I'll go check. [leaves] Hello, doggy.
[Michael immediately uses the phone]
— The Good Place, "The Book of Dougs"
There is nothing good or heroic in this. Two people are refusing to shoot a mass murderer, an act that they know would save billions. They’re putting their own morals ahead of everyone else. This is not the act of heroes; this is the act of villains. And they’re both nearly as guilty as the Master for any of the shit that he does from this time on.
