"You're not here for my sermon, you just want me to say one of those... things."
— Reverend Spooner, to a larger crowd than usual.
What makes Lirty Dies funny? Mangle a few complex consonants around, play with word combinations, and you can make almost any straight line sound overtly sexual, even though what you're saying is utterly G-rated.
— Sixteen Scandals: 20 Years of Sex, Lies and Other Habits of Our Great Leaders by William Strauss and Elaina Newport of the Capitol Steps
"Over that boy hand! ...hand... over... that... boy."
"He deered to kill a king's dare! ....Dared... to kill the king's deer."
"My liege! Struckey has loxxed again!"
"ENOUGH! KING ILLEGAL FOREST! TO PIG WILD! KILL IN IT A IS!... I mean... DON'T YOU KNOW! IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL A WILD PIG IN THE KING'S FOREST!"
—The Sheriff of Rottingham, Robin Hood: Men in Tights
"Hunting games are all over the place but Buck Fever is the only one that has a funny title if you swap the first letters of Buck and Fever."
Welcome to Get Out. It is required that everyone watch this sational and informafety video.
Miss Haggerd: It's not fair to ignore a woman after you've aroused her dormant passion.
Dr. Soaper: But I've not aroused your doormat ration- I, your dormant passion.
"Trace, don't panic, I-I-I-I'll phone the kettle, I'll boil the midwife."
— Sharon Theodopolopodous, Birds of a Feather, "Can't Judge a Book"
"This is Major Speep leaking." (Beat) "Speaking."
— Major Leep, Carry On Behind
"'Dear Diary... I have decided that my secret admirer is almost certainly a typical Firk by Dr. Prankin'." (Beat) "Drat."
— Matron Millicent Bullivant, Carry On Again Nurse
"Oh, no! I told them to send all they'd got on elephants, not all the elephants they'd got!"
— Dr. Charlie Bingham, Doctor at Large
Anderson: Look what we have here, a bloody heathen!
Alucard: Excuse you, I'm a fuck-mothering vampire.
Alucard: Excuse you, I'm a fuck-mothering vampire.
Captain Foster: Well, but... that's impotterable, sir.
Admiral Pettigrew: What's "impotterable", Foster?
Captain Foster: Well, sir, imposterable that, er, Potter should be an infoster, er, "poster", sir.
"Shut your butts and sit your mouths down! (Beat) You know what I meant!"
— Beard to the players of AFC Richmond during a halftime meeting, Ted Lasso, "So Long, Farewell"
