Villager #1: Alright. Let's get him!
Villager #2: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you know what that thing could do to you?
Villager #3: Yeah. He'll grind your bones for his bread.
Shrek: Well, actually... that would be a giant. [the villagers are surprised] Now, ogres. They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. They'll shave your liver! Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
Villager #4: [he waves a torch at Shrek] Back! Back, beast! BACK! I warn you! [Shrek puts out the torch with his hand] Right.
Shrek: [he roars loudly at the screaming villagers] This is the part where you run away. [The villagers run away as Shrek laughs.] And stay out!
Villager #2: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't you know what that thing could do to you?
Villager #3: Yeah. He'll grind your bones for his bread.
Shrek: Well, actually... that would be a giant. [the villagers are surprised] Now, ogres. They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. They'll shave your liver! Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast.
Villager #4: [he waves a torch at Shrek] Back! Back, beast! BACK! I warn you! [Shrek puts out the torch with his hand] Right.
Shrek: [he roars loudly at the screaming villagers] This is the part where you run away. [The villagers run away as Shrek laughs.] And stay out!
— Shrek frightening a group of villagers.
Farquaad: Mirror mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.
Farquaad: Uh, Thelonious? [Thelonious threatens the Magic Mirror as he breaks a small mirror with his fist.] You were saying?
Magic Mirror: What I mean is sir, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.
Farquaad: Go on.
Magic Mirror: Ha. So, just sit back and relax, my Lord. Because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes and heeeeeeeere they are!
Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.
Farquaad: Uh, Thelonious? [Thelonious threatens the Magic Mirror as he breaks a small mirror with his fist.] You were saying?
Magic Mirror: What I mean is sir, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.
Farquaad: Go on.
Magic Mirror: Ha. So, just sit back and relax, my Lord. Because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes and heeeeeeeere they are!
— Farquaad talking to the Magic Mirror.
"Back when this first aired, Shrek was the darling of computer animation and gave his parent company Dreamworks a hip, cutting edge, irreverent attitude. Now the ogre is past his sell-by date and has turned into a complete mockery; a property memed and ridiculed all over the Internet as a dated, not-as-clever-as-it-thought-it-was merchandising gimmick, to say nothing of his close relationship with Smash Mouth."
