Jason: So what is "manly" to you?
Elfman: A man is!
Elfman: A man is!
"Fun things are fun."
— Yui Hirasawa, K-On!
Haruhi: It's suspicious because nothing looks suspicious.
Kyon: And if it looked suspicious to begin with, then what?
Haruhi: It'd be suspicious, of course. Jeez.
Kyon: And if it looked suspicious to begin with, then what?
Haruhi: It'd be suspicious, of course. Jeez.
"Cute girls are cute."
— Kazama Ushio, Whispered Words
"I'll kill you! I'll kill you to death!"
— Superboy-Prime, Countdown to Final Crisis
Eitri: You understand, boy? You're about to take the full force of a star. It'll kill you.
Thor: Only if I die.
Eitri: [puzzled] Yes... That's what... killing you means.
Thor: Only if I die.
Eitri: [puzzled] Yes... That's what... killing you means.
Pam: Hey, Warren, who is this guy?
Warren: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
Warren: He's a stuntman.
Warren: Stuntman Mike.
Pam: And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
Warren: He's a stuntman.
Kate: Where are we going?
Richie: Mexico.
Kate: What's in Mexico?
Richie: Mexicans.
Richie: Mexico.
Kate: What's in Mexico?
Richie: Mexicans.
There was a urologist for his urine, a lymphologist for his lymph, an endocrinologist for his endocrines, a psychologist for his psyche, a dermatologist for his derma; there was a pathologist for his pathos, a cystologist for his cysts, and a bald and pendantic cetologist from the zoology department at Harvard who had been shanghaied ruthlessly into the Medical Corps by a faulty anode in an I.B.M. machine and spent his sessions with the dying colonel trying to discuss Moby-Dick with him.
— Catch-22
There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, Dim being real dim.
Unfortunately, however, if there was one thing circumstances weren't, it was different from what they were...
— Bertie Wooster, The Code of the Woosters
Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportion to the quantity of matter they contain — the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A.
— The Devil's Dictionary on gravitation
Colonel Smithers looked exactly like someone who would be called Colonel Smithers.
Among the many certainties whose lack he complained of, one alone is present, and it is that all things appear to us as they appear to us, and it is impossible for them to appear otherwise.
— The Island of the Day Before, by Umberto Eco
She jerked away from me like a startled fawn might, if I had a startled fawn and it jerked away from me.
The day is the same length as anything that is the same length as it.
"Our economy has been about as sluggish as a slug at a slug convention. It's gotten so bad, I had to fire my joke writer."
"If you saute scallops in a non-stick pan... they won't stick. That's why it's called FUCKING NON-STIIIICK! I don't know what non-stick means in Texas, sweetheart, but fuck me!"
"Germs are basically a malevolent form of bacteria, with one purpose: to spread germs."
— Look Around You, "Germs"
Gang Boss: Who are you and how did you get in here?
Frank Drebin: I'm the locksmith... and I'm the locksmith.
Frank Drebin: I'm the locksmith... and I'm the locksmith.
"You know, for as long as I can remember, I've had memories."
— Colin Mochrie, Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Lucy: Schroeder, why is it you like Beethoven better than you like me?
Schroeder: Beethoven was Beethoven and YOU are YOU!
[Beat Panel]
Lucy: That doesn't even leave room for discussion...
Schroeder: Beethoven was Beethoven and YOU are YOU!
[Beat Panel]
Lucy: That doesn't even leave room for discussion...
— Peanuts
"Your lips are like two moist, delicate, perfectly-formed... lip-shaped things."
— Jeremy Duncan, Zits
Zaphod Beeblebrox: This marble is as slippery as... Hey, Ford, what's the most slippery thing you can think of?
Ford Prefect: At the moment? This marble.
Zaphod Beeblebrox: This marble is as slippery as this marble!
Ford Prefect: At the moment? This marble.
Zaphod Beeblebrox: This marble is as slippery as this marble!
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978), Secondary Phase
"Then there was a rustling in the bushes and, like a man who'd been shot in the chest with a rifle, the turtle was shot in the chest with a rifle."
— Bo Burnham, "Andy the Frog" (from what.)
"The Death Star — it gets to the point: 'What's that star?' 'The Death Star.' 'What does it do?' 'It does death!'"
— Eddie Izzard on Star Wars
"The problem with asking about prehistoric history is, ahem, the lack of history."
— The Lady Herald of Realmslore, explaining
about Time Abyss into which Recursive Precursors of Forgotten Realms blur
about Time Abyss into which Recursive Precursors of Forgotten Realms blurFortune favors the fortunate.
"The hookblade has two parts: the hook and the blade."
Kaptin Bluddflagg: Mr. Nailbrain! Status reporta!
Mr. Nailbrain: Accordin' to dis, wez on some kinda hulking fing. In space.
Kaptin Bluddflagg: Wot, like... a spacey hulk?
Mr. Nailbrain: Accordin' to dis, wez on some kinda hulking fing. In space.
Kaptin Bluddflagg: Wot, like... a spacey hulk?
— Kaptin Bluddflagg and krew determining they've been tellyported to the Space Hulk Judgement of Carrion, Dawn of War II: Retribution
determining they've been tellyported to the Space Hulk Judgement of Carrion, Dawn of War II: Retribution"You all fled the scene like expert... scene... flee-ers..."
— Female Tico, recapping a day on Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker
"You're in Rindir's Staffs. And I'm Rindir. I sell magical staffs. Imagine that."
— Rindir, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Gold Coins: Currency of Fahrul. Each coin worth its weight in gold.
"Well done, Freeman! You dispatched those guards with great dispatch!"
— Victory Mine Vortigaunt, Half-Life 2 Episode 2
"Reapers may look evil and crazy, but there's a good reason for that. They are evil and crazy."
— Palutena, Kid Icarus: Uprising
"No! I'm not Darth Revan! I'm Darth Revan!"
— Darth Revan, Knights of the Old Republic
"You will regret your scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a... a great wind! A great biotic wind!"
— Niftu Cal, Mass Effect 2
"I object! That was... objectionable!"
— Miles Edgeworth, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
"The island kahuna? You can't miss him. He looks just like a kahuna!"
— Professor Kukui, Pokémon Sun and Moon
Cat Face. He's got a big cat face. He's got the body of a cat and the face of a cat. And he flies through the air 'cause he's got a cat face. Cat Face!
"Once upon a time, I was me."
— Rogal Dorn, If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device
"Dark Crypt. As opposed to all those lovely, well-illuminated crypts where all the dance parties take place. Seriously guys, you couldn’t think of a single other word that means 'foreboding'? What about 'Creepy Crypt'? Or does that sound too much like a Banjo-Kazooie level?"
— Zero Punctuation on Alone in the Dark: Illumination
Allison: What did you just feed me?
82 White Chain: Blue devil liquor.
Allison: What does that even mean?
82 White Chain: It is liquor from a blue devil, to answer your question.
82 White Chain: Blue devil liquor.
Allison: What does that even mean?
82 White Chain: It is liquor from a blue devil, to answer your question.
You head back upstairs.
You inspect the suspicious wall.
You have... suspicions.
About the suspicious wall.
You inspect the suspicious wall.
You have... suspicions.
About the suspicious wall.
Cliff: We should probably go back in and get something to tie down the dolly with.
Greg: Naah, it'll be fine.
Cliff: But the back's empty... It's gonna bang around back here.
Greg: So? What's it gonna hurt? It's a truck. It's made of truck.
Greg: Naah, it'll be fine.
Cliff: But the back's empty... It's gonna bang around back here.
Greg: So? What's it gonna hurt? It's a truck. It's made of truck.
The contents of any one panel are dependent on the contents of every panel including itself. The graph of panel dependencies is complete and bidirectional, and each node has a loop. The mouseover text has two hundred and forty-two characters.
"Listen up! The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club."
"There's coming on too strong, and then there's setting up a bedroom for someone after the first date. That's just... I can't even come up with a clever analogy for it, because that was going to be my analogy. 'Like setting up a bedroom after the first date.' That's what it's like."
"The letter L is in the shape of an L!"
"You might also find weapon leveling useful but that's only if you find weapon leveling useful, so whether or not you find weapon leveling useful is down to how useful you ultimately find weapon leveling."
— Jim Sterling, 100% Objective Review: Final Fantasy XIII
Final Fantasy XIII"I'm on record as saying that game length isn't an especially good indicator of, well, anything really, except perhaps game length, of which it may be considered a key indicator."
kimbbearly: why dont humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here lets leave immediately" why are elephants more advanced than us
thebaconsandwichofregret: we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this: "there are bees here lets leave immediately"
thebaconsandwichofregret: we do have a specific noise, it sounds like this: "there are bees here lets leave immediately"
— Found on Tumblr
My dog is a dog
— Twisted Translations, "Hey There Delilah" translation
"Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel, Trixie Mattel."
"A British nanny must be a nanny!"
"If into the security recordings you go, only security recordings will you find."
— Yoda, The Tragedy of Darth Sand by AlpacaHawk
by AlpacaHawkGuy 1: Right, but why do you want to be up there, exactly?
Guy 2: Ah, well see, once I'm up there... I'll be up there.
Guy 1: ...Yeah.
Guy 2: So.
Guy 1: So... what will that accomplish?
Guy 2: Well, I'll have accomplished it.
Guy 2: Ah, well see, once I'm up there... I'll be up there.
Guy 1: ...Yeah.
Guy 2: So.
Guy 1: So... what will that accomplish?
Guy 2: Well, I'll have accomplished it.
"The darkness is a metaphor for darkness!"
— Flip McVicker, BoJack Horseman
"That's when my tired eyes beheld
A doggy-dog, like dog he smelled
D-O-G is what he spelled
And that's how I spell... naaauuuuuugghhhttyyy."
A doggy-dog, like dog he smelled
D-O-G is what he spelled
And that's how I spell... naaauuuuuugghhhttyyy."
When I was born, I was a baby,
To my mother, who was my mom.
But the father I had,
Well, he was my dad,
And I come from the place where I'm from!
To my mother, who was my mom.
But the father I had,
Well, he was my dad,
And I come from the place where I'm from!
"It looks like an ordinary penny, because it is an ordinary penny!"
— Plankton, SpongeBob SquarePants, "Imitation Krabs"
Ted: What color is an orange?
Bill: Ted, you bonehead. Its color is the same as its name. Just like a lemon.
Bill: Ted, you bonehead. Its color is the same as its name. Just like a lemon.
Lapis: This is the leaf that Steven gave me. It reminds me of the time Steven... gave me a leaf.
Steven: Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too!
Steven: Hey, yeah, it reminds me of that too!
— Steven Universe, "Beta"
Real Life and Miscellaneous
"Soap is made by saponifying oils with alkali"
oils with alkali"— Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap label, though that's actually one of the more sensible bits
"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time."
— Samuel Hagar
"The future will be better tomorrow."
— Vice-President Dan Quayle
There was a young fellow from Perth
Who was born on the day of his birth
He was married, they say,
On his wife's wedding day
And he died on his last day on Earth.
Who was born on the day of his birth
He was married, they say,
On his wife's wedding day
And he died on his last day on Earth.
— The Day Book, Chicago, January 6, 1912
"Could it be necessary to say, that a legislature should exercise legislative powers, in the shape of legislation? After allowing each house to prescribe its own course of proceeding, after describing the manner in which a bill should become a law, would it have entered into the mind of a single member of the convention, that an express power to make laws was necessary to enable the legislature to make them? That a legislature, endowed with legislative powers, can legislate, is a proposition too self-evident to have been questioned."
— John Marshall, "McCulloch v. Maryland"
