Quotes / Replacement Goldfish

Michael: You BASTARD! I set Edgar free in the middle of the video and Ryan led him back!
Ryan: [...] I went and fucking grew wheat and led a cow back—
Geoff: You grew wheat!
Michael: Wait, wait, did you get Edgar back?
Ryan: I dunno.
Michael: You just got a random cow, so as far as we know he's free in the wild—
Geoff: He doesn't give a fuck which cow it is.
Ryan: Yeah, Edgar is—
Michael: Of course it matters! That was the original Edgar!
Ryan: No, you don't understand: "Edgar" is the one in the hole.

— Achievement Hunter Minecraft, Episode 61

Tycho: In my grief, I paid a Mad Scientist twenty million for a cybernetic replica of my dead wife. It was my wish that it look, feel, and behave just as she did.
Gabe: Is that it?
Tycho: Yeah.
Gabe: That's just a bucket on roller-skates.
Tycho: It really wasn't a good investment.

— Penny Arcade, "Ripped From Today's Headlines, Pt. 5"

Church: Washington?! Why are you wearing Blue armor? ...Why are you wearing my armor?
Wash: Oh. Um...
Caboose: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Wash: They sorta used me to... replace you? On Blue team?
Church: Replace me?
Caboose: I wouldn't really use the word "replace", but there's no word for "take over for you and make everything better almost immediately". So we just say "replace".
Church: When did this happen? [...] Right after I left?!
Caboose: Well, it wasn't right after, but, y'know, but, it was like… five, ten seconds.
Church: You've gotta be kidding me.
Caboose: Life is short. We had to move on.
Church: I think I just got dumped by Caboose. This is un-fucking-believable!
Caboose: Yeah, it's not me. It's you. [...] Oh, um… we sorta call the new guy "Church," y'know, sometimes?
Church: What.
Wash: Caboose just finds it easier. The armor color confuses him... As do a lot of things.
Church: Let Me Get This Straight..., Agent Washington. You took my NAME, too?
Wash: It's only in certain circumstances.
Caboose: Like when we talk to him. Or when we fill out paperwork. Or sing Happy Birthday to him.
Church: YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!

— Red vs. Blue

"I loved my chosen. How then to face the day when she left me? So I took from her body a single cell, perhaps to love her again."

— Commissioner Pravin Lal — "Time of Bereavement", Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

"This is fish number six hundred and forty-one in a lifetime of a goldfish. My parents bought me the first one to teach me about loving and caring for another living breathing creature of God. Six hundred and forty fish later, the only thing I know is everything you love will die. The first time you meet that someone special, you can count on them one day being dead and in the ground."

— Survivor (1999)

In a glen beyond the castle wall
There was a tinker
And he was a thinker
The smartest man in all the world
He made a mechanical girl
For you see, his daughter passed away that summer
And though he knew he could not replace her
He missed his family

— Voltaire, "The Mechanical Girl"

"What am I, some sort of Gadolt substitute!?"

— Reyn in response to all his Ship Tease with Sharla, Xenoblade Chronicles 1

Sam: Good ol' Mr. Spatula. The exact same Mr. Spatula we've always had. Certainly not just some other fish we've been calling Mr. Spatula ever since we found the original floating belly up in this very water cooler just last week.
Max: Careful, Sam. Keep it up, and he might realize he's just... a replacement fish!

— Sam & Max: Freelance Police, "The Mole, the Mob, and the Meatball"

Yes, we know that you're not her
But you were hers
You know what it meant to love her
And you remind us so much of her!

— Steven Universe: The Movie, "Let Us Adore You"

"What better way to mourn the loss of a loved one than to fully replace them?"

— Scott The Woz, Chia Pet

"How could you possibly think you could ever replace my child?! I don't know what kind of psychopath you are, but you're not half the man my son would be if he were alive today!"

— Catherine Grant, Day of the Dollmaker

"What a shame... Out of all the Grimwalkers, you looked the most like him."

— Belos, to Hunter, The Owl House, "Hollow Mind"

Luz: And what about Hunter? What's a Grimwalker?
Belos: He's... a better version of an old friend. But thanks to you, I'll have to make another one.

— The Owl House, "Hollow Mind"

The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: "You are Hagrid now."

— Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash

Cueball: Maggie's gone. You can't bring her back.
Friend: But I have to, she's a part of my life.
Cueball: *sigh*
Cueball: Okay, let me put this in your terms.
Cueball: Remember when Aeris died in FFVII? It was sad, but you had to keep playing.
Friend: Actually, I downloaded a mod to add her back to my party. It changed other character's appearances and dialogue to hers so you didn't have to lose her. Lots of gamers did it.
Cueball: That is troubling on several levels.
Friend: I wonder if Maggie's old dresses would fit you.

—xkcd, Aeris Dies

Tarvek: I am - was, very fond of my sister. I want you to know... my father was not the only one who was comforted by your presence. But my sister is dead. I've got to accept that. I've got to move on.
Anveka: I... I'm not your sister?
Tarvek: ... no.
Anveka: But then- what am I?
Tarvek: ... a very good first try.

—Girl Genius

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