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Anime and Manga
"You might find it funny, but I've heard it a million times."
—Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei, many people dealing with this trope.
Comic Books
The Revenant: I suppose this is the point where I tell you that you won't get away with this?
Dr. Irons: And a parting cliché to you too.
Dr. Irons: And a parting cliché to you too.
— PS238
Film — Animated
Lucius Best: Hey Speedo! Hey Helen, Vi, Jack-Jack!
Bob Parr: Hey, hey! Ice of you to drop by!
Lucius: Ha! (goes expressionless) Never heard that one before...
Bob Parr: Hey, hey! Ice of you to drop by!
Lucius: Ha! (goes expressionless) Never heard that one before...
Music
"You probably get that a lot
I'll bet that people say that a lot while you,
Are sarcastically lip-syncing along
To words they felt were spoken spontaneously."
I'll bet that people say that a lot while you,
Are sarcastically lip-syncing along
To words they felt were spoken spontaneously."
— They Might Be Giants, "You Probably Get That A Lot"
Literature
"I'm a private detective."
"Oh?" said Kate in surprise, and then looked puzzled.
"Does that bother you?"
"It's just that I have a friend who plays the double bass."
"I see," said Dirk.
"Whenever people meet him and he's struggling around with it, they all say the same thing, and it drives him crazy. They all say, 'I bet you wished you played the piccolo.' Nobody ever works out that that's what everybody else says. I was just trying to work out if there was something that everybody would always say to a private detective so that I could avoid saying it."
"Oh?" said Kate in surprise, and then looked puzzled.
"Does that bother you?"
"It's just that I have a friend who plays the double bass."
"I see," said Dirk.
"Whenever people meet him and he's struggling around with it, they all say the same thing, and it drives him crazy. They all say, 'I bet you wished you played the piccolo.' Nobody ever works out that that's what everybody else says. I was just trying to work out if there was something that everybody would always say to a private detective so that I could avoid saying it."
Professor Slughorn: You look very like your father.
Harry: Yeah, I've been told.
Slughorn: Except for your eyes. You've got—
Harry: My mother's eyes, yeah.
Harry: Yeah, I've been told.
Slughorn: Except for your eyes. You've got—
Harry: My mother's eyes, yeah.
"So let us be clear with one another, Admiral. I have one life, not nine. I have never been killed by curiosity, my parents do not live in a cat house, my mother did not rock me as an infant in a cat's cradle, the preferred Caitian method of self-defence is not cat-boxing, I do not deposit my earnings into a kitty, if I am trying to be delicate about a subject I do not pussyfoot around — shall I go on?"
Live-Action TV
Martha: (with the Doctor mouthing along) It's Bigger on the Inside!
The Doctor: Is it?! I hadn't noticed!
The Doctor: Is it?! I hadn't noticed!
— Doctor Who, "Smith and Jones"
"Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. "The height of nobility," "a man of your stature," "someone to look up to." You're all making the same five or six jokes."
— Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
Alexander: Hey, what's a four-letter word for "nuisance"?
Crow: Standard sitcom joke landing on runway 7.
(Mike pretends to wave around marshalling wands, while Servo makes airplane landing noises)
Bob: Oh, that's easy: J-U-D-Y.
(The gang approves of a successful landing.)
Crow: Standard sitcom joke landing on runway 7.
(Mike pretends to wave around marshalling wands, while Servo makes airplane landing noises)
Bob: Oh, that's easy: J-U-D-Y.
(The gang approves of a successful landing.)
Video Games
Folks often tell Snow Pea how "cool" he is, or exhort him to "chill out." They tell him to "stay frosty." Snow Pea just rolls his eyes. He's heard 'em all.
—Snow Pea's Almanac entry, Plants vs. Zombies
Pearl: What's your favorite month, Marina?
Marina: This is another one of your octopus jokes, isn't it?
Marina: This is another one of your octopus jokes, isn't it?
Geras: You are not the first Nightwolf to face me.
Nightwolf: I will be the last.
Geras: So said all the others.
Erron Black: My heart wants to love you, Miss Sheeva.
Sheeva: So say many men to the Queen.
Erron Black: I ain't many men, I'm Erron Black.
Terminator: You will not survive this fight.
Nightwolf: A warning I've heard many times before.
Terminator: I will not repeat it.
Raiden: You are a blight on humanity.
Kano: Says you and a thousand others.
Raiden: None of them are Earthrealm's Protector.
Raiden: Time to realize your potential.
Kung Lao: I do that on a daily basis.
Raiden: So you often say.
Nightwolf: I will be the last.
Geras: So said all the others.
Erron Black: My heart wants to love you, Miss Sheeva.
Sheeva: So say many men to the Queen.
Erron Black: I ain't many men, I'm Erron Black.
Terminator: You will not survive this fight.
Nightwolf: A warning I've heard many times before.
Terminator: I will not repeat it.
Raiden: You are a blight on humanity.
Kano: Says you and a thousand others.
Raiden: None of them are Earthrealm's Protector.
Raiden: Time to realize your potential.
Kung Lao: I do that on a daily basis.
Raiden: So you often say.
Joker: You really do expect this to be a cakewalk.
Jay Garrick: I'm used to a better class of villain.
Joker: That's what the others thought, too.
Green Arrow: So, Kahndaq loves that you're its dictator?
Black Adam: My rule is strict but fair.
Green Arrow: Says you and a hundred other petty despots.
Jay Garrick: There's no better revenge than forgiveness.
Red Hood: Heard that speech a thousand times.
Jay Garrick: Some values never become old-fashioned.
Power Girl: Why are you such a big bully anyway?
Reverse Flash: Tormenting people serves a purpose.
Power Girl: Said every villain ever.
Scarecrow: Only a fool thinks me mad.
Green Arrow: Says you and Arkham's other nutjobs.
Scarecrow: I am from Arkham, not "of" it.
Joker: And what's your beef?
Doctor Fate: I fight for justice.
Joker: Only the svabillionth time I've heard that.
Blue Beetle: Blue Beetle comin' at ya.
Brainiac: You are of no interest to me.
Blue Beetle: Says every girl at school.
Catwoman: Good. Straight to business.
Deadshot: This'll be peer pleasure.
Catwoman: Says you and every other man.
Superman: You don't belong here.
Enchantress: I'm here to birth a new age of dark magic.
Superman: Everyone says that the first time.
Gorilla Grodd: Prostrate yourself before me!
Hellboy: Like I haven't heard that one before.
Gorilla Grodd: If you're not with me, you're dead.
Red Hood: Last warning: Back off.
Sub-Zero: I am stronger than you realize.
Red Hood: That's what you all say.
Bizarro: Bizarro am Number One.
Batman: You need a new catchphrase.
Bizarro: Keep talking, Batman!
Batman: You'd be wise to give up.
Joker: But my masterpiece isn't finished...
Batman: That's a first...
Captain Cold: Don't want to hear nothing from you.
Aquaman: Land-dwelling scum...
Captain Cold: That's a new one.
Joker: Look! Sinestro's behind you!
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Never heard that one before.
Joker: You're fun when you're angry.
Hellboy: That crap's getting old.
Scarecrow: Enjoying the mind games?
Hellboy: I am so over this crap.
Jay Garrick: I'm used to a better class of villain.
Joker: That's what the others thought, too.
Green Arrow: So, Kahndaq loves that you're its dictator?
Black Adam: My rule is strict but fair.
Green Arrow: Says you and a hundred other petty despots.
Jay Garrick: There's no better revenge than forgiveness.
Red Hood: Heard that speech a thousand times.
Jay Garrick: Some values never become old-fashioned.
Power Girl: Why are you such a big bully anyway?
Reverse Flash: Tormenting people serves a purpose.
Power Girl: Said every villain ever.
Scarecrow: Only a fool thinks me mad.
Green Arrow: Says you and Arkham's other nutjobs.
Scarecrow: I am from Arkham, not "of" it.
Joker: And what's your beef?
Doctor Fate: I fight for justice.
Joker: Only the svabillionth time I've heard that.
Blue Beetle: Blue Beetle comin' at ya.
Brainiac: You are of no interest to me.
Blue Beetle: Says every girl at school.
Catwoman: Good. Straight to business.
Deadshot: This'll be peer pleasure.
Catwoman: Says you and every other man.
Superman: You don't belong here.
Enchantress: I'm here to birth a new age of dark magic.
Superman: Everyone says that the first time.
Gorilla Grodd: Prostrate yourself before me!
Hellboy: Like I haven't heard that one before.
Gorilla Grodd: If you're not with me, you're dead.
Red Hood: Last warning: Back off.
Sub-Zero: I am stronger than you realize.
Red Hood: That's what you all say.
Bizarro: Bizarro am Number One.
Batman: You need a new catchphrase.
Bizarro: Keep talking, Batman!
Batman: You'd be wise to give up.
Joker: But my masterpiece isn't finished...
Batman: That's a first...
Captain Cold: Don't want to hear nothing from you.
Aquaman: Land-dwelling scum...
Captain Cold: That's a new one.
Joker: Look! Sinestro's behind you!
Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Never heard that one before.
Joker: You're fun when you're angry.
Hellboy: That crap's getting old.
Scarecrow: Enjoying the mind games?
Hellboy: I am so over this crap.
Ermac: We are many, you are one—
Johnny Cage: Yeah, yeah, you'll destroy me. Whatever.
Johnny Cage: Yeah, yeah, you'll destroy me. Whatever.
Web Animation
"It's a game that depends on shared knowledge; hence, presumably, the mechanic wherein players can leave little Post-It notes for each other. But the ones that say anything as helpful as, the mechanic 'hey, you can only summon helpers in boss fights when you're unhollowed', or, 'look, here's a narrow and easy-to-miss path down which lies the rest of the fucking game' are in a vast minority to the ones that say 'try jumping' right next to bottomless pits. How witty of you, random player. And only getting wittier after FIFTY FUCKING TIMES!"
—Yahtzee on Dark Souls, Zero Punctuation
Shadow: It's time to end this. Chaos...BLAST! (Super Shadow runs out) ...uh-oh.
Vegeta: Sayonara. (obliterates Shadow with Final Flash)
—
Mewtwo: Sayonara. (proceeds to start killing a memory-wiped Shadow with a giant spoon)
Shadow: SCREW YOOOOUUUUU...!
—
Ryuko: Sayonara, dipshit! (attempts to crush Shadow with Alumni Mode; cue Super Shadow removing his inhibitor rings)
Shadow: SHUT UP!!! (blasts Ryuko into the ground and obliterates her with a Chaos Blast)
Vegeta: Sayonara. (obliterates Shadow with Final Flash)
—
Mewtwo: Sayonara. (proceeds to start killing a memory-wiped Shadow with a giant spoon)
Shadow: SCREW YOOOOUUUUU...!
—
Ryuko: Sayonara, dipshit! (attempts to crush Shadow with Alumni Mode; cue Super Shadow removing his inhibitor rings)
Shadow: SHUT UP!!! (blasts Ryuko into the ground and obliterates her with a Chaos Blast)
Web Comics
Luigifan: Here we are, Bagenaltown. The second-to-last stop. Next up, Kilkenny!
Pommy: Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
Luigifan: ...You've been dying to say that all day, haven't you?
Pommy: You're supposed to say "You bastards!"
Luigifan: *shoots an exasperated look at Pommy* For the last time, Kilkenny is an actual city, not a reference to a cheesy TV show. I am so glad I got that out of my system last night. And Kilkenny is tomorrow. Author's notes
Luigifan: ...You've been dying to say that all day, haven't you?
Pommy: You're supposed to say "You bastards!"
Luigifan: *shoots an exasperated look at Pommy* For the last time, Kilkenny is an actual city, not a reference to a cheesy TV show. I am so glad I got that out of my system last night. And Kilkenny is tomorrow. Author's notes
Web Original
"W.A.S.P. does NOT stand for "We Are Sexual Perverts" you stupid fucking prick."
"If a joke immediately pops into your head after three seconds' worth of pondering, assume it will occur to many, many people as well, and a large fraction of them will probably make it in other pages. Result: unfunny repetition."
This is a joke both so old and so obvious that it's a puzzlement anyone would take it seriously enough to ask us 'Is this true?', but apparently there's never so obvious a joke but that someone doesn't get it.
Did Billy compare movies to baseball within six seconds of strolling out onto the stage? Of course he did. Did he dress up in blackface and impersonate Sammy Davis Jr.? Of course he did...There should've been a live from the Catskills graphic on the screen during his monologue. "This is my ninth time hosting the Oscars. So tonight just call me War Horse." Take his jokes — please.
—Drew Magary, "The 25 Least Influential People of 2012"
, "The 25 Least Influential People of 2012"I suppose there is something amusing about Mulder and Scully being sent on a team building course only to be sidetracked into an investigation that requires a great deal of teamwork, but it's the sort of joke that makes you laugh for five seconds and then sigh. By the end of the episode they have to work together to make a big pile of bodies to winch back up above ground. Go team.
—Joe Ford on The X-Files, "Detour"
on The X-Files, "Detour"$#!+ My Dad Says is like a shot-for-shot remake of a sitcom your grandparents don't remember hating as kids... these jokes are so old that the rough draft of this script was written in buffalo paintings.
MoeWood was supposed to get married, have a baby together, give that baby a hipster name like Leopold Kelp and become my third favorite gayelle couple after Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon, and Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin (RIP). But you know, since lesbians stereotypically move fast, they probably did all of that in the few weeks they were together ("You forgot to make an Indigo Girls joke, you stupid, unoriginal piece of trash" – my lesbian friends) and once they figure out a fair custody arrangement for lil’ baby Leopold Kelp, they’ll divide up their Indigo Girls vinyl collection ("Don’t forget a Home Depot joke too, you dumb mess" – my lesbian friends again) and shred their joint Home Depot charge card.
—Michael K., "That Was Fast"
, "That Was Fast"I await an awkward moment, since Rei seems to not be at home. Oh, and there it is. She was in the shower and just waltzes out as Shinji is messing with a pair of busted up glasses he finds. She rushes forward with little concern over the fact her no-no parts are showing and grabs the glasses, knocks Shinji into her dresser, his bag gets caught on her dresser drawer, and as he falls forward over her nude form Rei's undergarments fly everywhere. Normally, this produces shrieks of 'Pervert' and violence ensues.... I can finally see where this series is breaking away from the chains of anime conformity.
Carrie Fisher: Proving that you can kick ass even with two Danishes as big as your face strapped to your head. Yeah, it’s an old line, but what else can I do? Height jokes and cracks about her being coked off her ass? No! I do have some standards, for God’s sake. Besides, those will come later.
Oh, so the Beatles did drugs? I never heard that joke before. THAT’S F*CKING HILARIOUS! Oh, and apparently Bob Dylan uses some confusing metaphors in his music. GENIUS! ORIGINAL! And by the way, you don’t mock Bob Dylan. He has done more in one album than most musicians do in a lifetime... Let me give you guys a few more original jokes for you: Keith Richards has done quite a few drugs, Milli Vanilli lip synched, Metallica gets rather peeved at music piracy, Vanilla Ice looks quite foolish rapping.
Say what you will about Kevin Smith, his new movie Tusk really blows the lid off this whole Canada thing. Aboot. Eh. Syrup. Poutine. French people.
—Vince Mancini
Having written a blog post more or less daily for ten years, I have come to have a certain degree of sympathy for the longrunning comics I mock, and to understand that not every day’s effort can be a winner: some days, you just sort of run with the joke you have and hope for a better tomorrow. And yet I don’t think that justifies pulling out a joke that was already ancient when it appeared in the first Bill and Ted movie 25 years ago, Dennis the Menace. I really don’t. Do better.
Jury Duty! Seriously, has anyone ever made jokes about this? It's such a hassle! There are so many fresh, new and funny situations that you could build a comic around Jury Duty, especially if you're using a character who seems so unlikely as Crankshaft! I don't think he takes his civic responsibilities very seriously at all! Ha ha!
—Chris Sims, Funkywatching
Web Video
Hey Light do you know what your name spells backwards? Oh I don't know what is it? It's Imagay! It's Imagay! Lol Lol! Lol!
— Light Yagami, Death Note: The Abridged Series (kpts4tv)
Namekian: (as heroic music plays) We're here to stop this senseless slaughter of our people!
Freeza: Ninety-two...
Namekian: This has gone on for too long! And now, you're going to pay!
Freeza: Three hundred and fifty-five...
Namekian: We are... we... what are you-
Freeza: No, go on. Continue, don't mind me.
Namekian: Aaand... we are the ones who will stop you!
Freeza: Ooh, wow, four hundred and nineteen!
Namekian: That's- (Record Needle Scratch) what the hell are you doing?!
Freeza: Oh, sorry, it's a little hobby of mine. I hear these heroic speeches so wearily often, so I started making a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines.
Namekian: Y-you insane bastard.
Freeza: One hundred and ninety.
Namekian: Yeah? Well we're... going to... F*CK YOUR FACE!
Freeza: Oh-hoho my!... Twelve.
Freeza: Ninety-two...
Namekian: This has gone on for too long! And now, you're going to pay!
Freeza: Three hundred and fifty-five...
Namekian: We are... we... what are you-
Freeza: No, go on. Continue, don't mind me.
Namekian: Aaand... we are the ones who will stop you!
Freeza: Ooh, wow, four hundred and nineteen!
Namekian: That's- (Record Needle Scratch) what the hell are you doing?!
Freeza: Oh, sorry, it's a little hobby of mine. I hear these heroic speeches so wearily often, so I started making a mental list of how many times I've heard certain lines.
Namekian: Y-you insane bastard.
Freeza: One hundred and ninety.
Namekian: Yeah? Well we're... going to... F*CK YOUR FACE!
Freeza: Oh-hoho my!... Twelve.
Luigi: Mario, it's me Luigi. I just can't stop eating the mushrooms. Hahaha...It's such a funny joke. I'm such a very, very funny fucking guy! [angrily throws bag]
PSA: Mario mushroom jokes kills six million each year. Help the [sic] find the cure. Donate today.
Speaking as someone who knows a little something about making fun of them: Vapid white girls? It's shooting fish in a barrel. Frank Zappa beat you to it. The goddamn Wayans Bros. beat you to it. And even in the world of viral internet videos I can think think of one that was funnier, and it came out eight years ago. I mean, that's not only better music, it's also way more on-point: "White girls: you probably shouldn't throw up gang signs."
"—Todd in the Shadows on "#Selfie", "The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2014"
Doctor Strange: My name is Strange. This world and many others—
Larry: Strange? What's so strange about it?
Doctor Strange: No, no, no, this has been done to death.
Larry: Strange? What's so strange about it?
Doctor Strange: No, no, no, this has been done to death.
—Solid jj, "Doctor Strange Multiverse of Stooges"
Scott as Customer: You working hard or hardly working?
Scott Seiss: I'm hardly laughing. I'm already at work. I don't have time for a second job pretending you're funny. Why don't you tell me something I don't hear every day, like "Thank you"?
— Scott Seiss
Orym: You seemed to sleep like a rock to me.
Ashton: I just knew it was coming, and I've never heard that one before. I've never heard that pun before! Not once! Not even once! Amazing!
Ashton: I just knew it was coming, and I've never heard that one before. I've never heard that pun before! Not once! Not even once! Amazing!
— Critical Role, "Faith or Famine"
Western Animation
Security Guard: Is that a dildo in your pocket?
Lucy: No! I'm just happy to see you!
Security Guard: I've heard that one. Every shoplifter uses that joke!
Lucy: No! I'm just happy to see you!
Security Guard: I've heard that one. Every shoplifter uses that joke!
— Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil learns what not to say when caught stealing sex toys
Harvey Birdman: My client, a private investigator.
Mentok: Colloquially known as...?
Harvey Birdman: Uhhh... a P.I.? Gumshoe?
Inch High, Private Eye: He wants you to say 'dick'.
Mentok: Which would make you an...?
Inch-High, Private Eye: [sighs] Inch. High. Dick.
Mentok: Colloquially known as...?
Harvey Birdman: Uhhh... a P.I.? Gumshoe?
Inch High, Private Eye: He wants you to say 'dick'.
Mentok: Which would make you an...?
Inch-High, Private Eye: [sighs] Inch. High. Dick.
The Joker: You know, sweets, I like what I've heard about you, especially the name. Harley Quinzel. Rework it a bit, and you get Harley Quinn...
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: ...Like the clown character, Harlequin. I know. I've heard it before.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel: ...Like the clown character, Harlequin. I know. I've heard it before.
— Batman: The Animated Series, Mad Love
Well, we'd best be "be-heading" to work! It's an executioner joke. You'll hear all of them in the first fifteen minutes. Then it's basically just human tragedy.
—Stan the Executioner, Disenchantment
(Peter and Joe are teeing off at a golf course)
Peter: Hey, uh, Joe?
Joe: (sigh) Don't say it, Peter.
Peter: I was just wondering, uh...
Joe: Peter, I swear to God...!
Peter: What's your handicap?
Joe: AAAAAHH-HA-HA! OH! EVERY HOLE! IT'S A JOKE THAT JUST DOESN'T GET OLD!
—Family Guy, "The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou"
Real Life
Interviewer: What today's audience doesn't understand, and maybe you can put this in context, is anytime anybody said anything about "short", you were the butt of jokes—
Rooney: Well, I'M TIRED OF THAT!!
Interviewer: (terrified) Oh.
Rooney: Well, I'M TIRED OF THAT!!
Interviewer: (terrified) Oh.
—Mickey Rooney, The Twilight Zone (1959) DVD commentary
Basically, Homer just had a lot of fun hanging out with gay men, and drinking in bars, and dancing at discos, and all that, and there was nothing – there was no commentary there. Every restaurant had a silly gay name. The gym had a silly gay name. They were all double entendres, obviously... Then I started thinking, maybe they just wanted my stamp of approval on it because it was just a bunch of clichés.
—Harvey Fierstein on declining to reprise his role on The Simpsons
Uhh, I see some virgins in the audience! [deafening silence] Virgins? [nothing] There are so many virgins in here. Richard Branson. [beat] —is doing this event.
—Jamie Kennedy, E3 2007
Cable company: Our support teams are fully engaged to make sure @SirPatStew is well tended to. We're Trekkers and will make it so.
Stewart: Impertinent, presumptuous. And so..."original".
: Our support teams are fully engaged to make sure @SirPatStew is well tended to. We're Trekkers and will make it so.Stewart
: Impertinent, presumptuous. And so..."original".—Twitter conversation
Teacher Mrs. Simpson is an older lady with a voice like a chipper English nanny, and is instilled with the comic device of deafness, where everything is heard incorrectly or not at all — “Did your back go out again?” “No, my back went out again!” Why it's like Groucho in his prime, isn't it?
—Stuart Millard on Saved by the Bell ("The Substitute"), So Excited, So Scared
