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Fiction
"It's unbelievable! The Cartoon Network is running live-action sitcoms now! They're the Cartoon Network! They're supposed to run cartoons! How can they get away with this?! It'd be like a news network running stuff besides news!"
—Jason Fox, FoxTrot.
Zodd: Don't you think we can do a little better than DTV?
Phil: Why, what's wrong with DTV? It's television for demons, we're demons — it's perfect.
Zodd: Yeah, but you know how these specialty cable networks are: they start out real good, but then they lose their focus and things go downhill real quick. Just look at what happened to G4!
Phil: Why, what's wrong with DTV? It's television for demons, we're demons — it's perfect.
Zodd: Yeah, but you know how these specialty cable networks are: they start out real good, but then they lose their focus and things go downhill real quick. Just look at what happened to G4!
"Then my third thought was, 'Hold on, what's it doing on the SCI-FI CHANNEL?' Since then BRAVEHEART has been shown on the Sci-Fi Channel, live action movies are shown on Cartoon Network and there isn't a music video to be seen on MTV so channel formats straying from the channel names doesn't really surprise me anymore."
—Triple Kelly, WrestleCrap.
DJ: Classic Rock 103.7 WHTT, playin' the greatest Rock 'n' Roll hits of all time!
Chris: I hate this station. They always make promises they can't deliver.
("We Built This City" by Starship plays)
Chris: See?
Chris: I hate this station. They always make promises they can't deliver.
("We Built This City" by Starship plays)
Chris: See?
—Family Guy, "Stew-Roids".
"At the very least, stop being disingenuous and just go ahead change the name of the network from MTV to Road Rules-Pimp My Ride-and-Intoxicated-College-Students-Doing-Disgusting-Stunts-for-No-Pay-but-Rather-Because-Someone-Shoved-a-Camera-in-Their-Faces TV."
—Stewie Griffin in his rant "Why MTV Is the Root of All Evil", Stewie's Guide to World Domination.
CNN Representative: These new scripted programs will attract deep-pocketed advertisers!
Mulberry: But what if I want to watch the news? Where am I gonna get THAT?
CNN Representative: Eh...we sell reruns on DVD, if anyone's interested...
Mulberry: But what if I want to watch the news? Where am I gonna get THAT?
CNN Representative: Eh...we sell reruns on DVD, if anyone's interested...
—Mulberry's 2009 Fall TV Preview.
"Hello, cable service? I'm watching Black Entertainment Television, but there aren't any black people and it isn't entertaining."
—Huey Freeman, The Boondocks.
Girl: Now that was a good episode.
Father: Wait, it's over? When's it on again?
Girl: Ah, stupid [adult swim] only plays it on Saturdays now.
Father: I'm not waiting a whole fucking week to find out whether Inuyasha and Kagome get together!
Father: Wait, it's over? When's it on again?
Girl: Ah, stupid [adult swim] only plays it on Saturdays now.
Father: I'm not waiting a whole fucking week to find out whether Inuyasha and Kagome get together!
—Robot Chicken in the episode "But Not In That Way", after a girl and her father watched an episode of
Inuyasha on [adult swim].
Inuyasha on [adult swim]."You're watching The History Channel, the only network dedicated to history. Coming up next, it's Monster Quest! Arr! Followed by Hairy Bikers. Grr! But now, back to part three of Ancient Aliens at Thanksgiving!"
"You asked for it, you got it! An entire 48-hour marathon of Ghost Harassers! On the "Used To Be About History Channel"!
Butt-Head: They don’t play many video’s anymore. It’s all, like, shows and people snowboarding and stuff.
—Beavis and Butt-Head, referring to MTV’s transition to Reality TV.
"Ugh. Thank you! Why was that on the Military History Channel?"
—Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, after Marge turns off Topiary Wars.
"Those aren't educational at all! You're the Discovery Channel! Where's the discovery? Discovering that people are human garbage?"
Stan Lee: Since this is on History, I assumed that it would give you some quality education. I also figured that it would stick to facts. Or so I thought.
Ancient Aliens Narrator: (on a TV, text displaying at the same time) Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
(the word "THEORISTS" is highlighted)
Stan Lee: Now, that should give you some indication that this information is very much speculation. In other words... you're wrong.
Ancient Aliens Narrator: (on a TV, text displaying at the same time) Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
(the word "THEORISTS" is highlighted)
Stan Lee: Now, that should give you some indication that this information is very much speculation. In other words... you're wrong.
"IFC are liars! Don't call yourself the 'Independent Film Channel' and then air A Very Brady Sequel!"
—Klaus, American Dad!
"I remember when Bravo used to air operas."
—Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock, after a cutaway to the reality show Wedding Bitches
Real Life
"We are no longer a wrestling company but rather a global entertainment company with a movie studio, international licensing deals, publisher of three magazines, consumer good distributor and more."
—Kellie Baldyga, a publicist for WWE.
"I sure am glad the SyFy channel is doing more reality shows, instead of original Science Fiction shows!" - Nobody, ever.
"America 2012: The Learning Channel has HoneyBooBoo, History Channel has Pawn Stars, and the Science Channel has Pumpkin Chunkin'"
—Neil deGrasse Tyson, arguing why the government shouldn't defund PBS.
"Des [Lynam] switched sides to ITV as it has more live football than The BBC, unsurprising as even Cartoon Network has more live football than the BBC."
—Angus Deayton, Have I Got News for You.
"This weekend on The History Channel, someone digs through old plastic junk ("It's a Dukes of Hazzard wastebasket!"), someone else tries to sell a doll head ("I used to take the heads off the bodies, and I kept the heads")... and Larry the Cable Guy taste-tests Tabasco sauce ("I can't feel my dadgum tongue!"). The History Channel. What the hell happened to us?"
"ANIME IS A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME! WE'RE GOING ALL LIVE ACTION THIS SUMMER!"
—[adult swim], lampshading their own Network Decay.
their own Network Decay."I want to apologize to all of you. I was SEVERELY mislead. Was told we were bagging the movie to do what this network was created for."
"So, I can get music videos on MTV with this?"
"No, they don't do those anymore. They do supercheap reality programs."
"Oh... What about VH1?"
"They show nothing but I Love The __'s shows now."
"But that's an even bigger niche than showing only videos! How could that possibly be more profitable?"
"Dunno, but it's their station."
"How about Tech TV?"
"They changed their name to G4 and their focus to video games."
"So they cover game news?"
"No, they buy repeats of male-centered shows and run them."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I'm sure it does to somebody."
"What are they running on Nick At Nite?"
"Nothing made earlier than 2000."
"TLC....does that still stand for The Learning Channel?"
"Yes, but you couldn't learn anything from it now if you tried."
"What's on the Disney Channel?"
"Nothing even remotely related to Disney."
"How about Cartoon Network?"
"They're showing live-action movies."
"Er.....is there anything on this cable package that actually does what the name says it's supposed to do??"
"The Home and Garden Channel still does....but I hear they're shifting their focus to Mexican wrestling in three months."''
"No, they don't do those anymore. They do supercheap reality programs."
"Oh... What about VH1?"
"They show nothing but I Love The __'s shows now."
"But that's an even bigger niche than showing only videos! How could that possibly be more profitable?"
"Dunno, but it's their station."
"How about Tech TV?"
"They changed their name to G4 and their focus to video games."
"So they cover game news?"
"No, they buy repeats of male-centered shows and run them."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I'm sure it does to somebody."
"What are they running on Nick At Nite?"
"Nothing made earlier than 2000."
"TLC....does that still stand for The Learning Channel?"
"Yes, but you couldn't learn anything from it now if you tried."
"What's on the Disney Channel?"
"Nothing even remotely related to Disney."
"How about Cartoon Network?"
"They're showing live-action movies."
"Er.....is there anything on this cable package that actually does what the name says it's supposed to do??"
"The Home and Garden Channel still does....but I hear they're shifting their focus to Mexican wrestling in three months."''
—Platypus Comix's article on MTV's Top 20 Videos of 1984.
."Who Wants to Be a Superhero? was a reality show developed by Stan Lee and the Sci Fi Channel, before they decided poor literacy is cool and that women prefer the letter Y as opposed to C and I."
—Linkara, "Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review".
Announcer: Coming soon on Ninja Movie Week! Ninja Dry Cleaner, Ninja Shoe Repair, Ninja Video Rental and Ninja Dentist! Coming this week on... See-Fee?... S-Y-F-Y? Eh. Um. That wrestling channel!
—The Nostalgia Critic, "Raiders of the Story Arc: TMNT".
"They've been celebrating their 30th anniversary. I don't know why they bother. MTV is not what MTV was. It's like the Oklahoma City Thunder celebrating their years as the Seattle Supersonics. One is not the other, so why even pretend?"
"They're allowed to watch half an hour of television, and only cartoons. Which means no Cartoon Network."
—From Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 01 in the episode "Jumpy George", from a woman hiring Meatwad to babysit her children.
"Remember they used to run "What-A-Cartoon"? Now it’s "Where's-the-Cartoons?""
—Jerry Beck, Cartoon Brew, on an article about the UK version of The Office being premiered on [adult swim].
the UK version of The Office being premiered on [adult swim].People ask: Why is [adult swim] showing "Live" Action on a "Cartoon" Network? Good Question! Our reasons are threefold.
2. Cartoons are not live action, and...
Why not? Once again, our reasons are threefold.
2. Anime isn't live action, and...
We're [adult swim], the home of Anime, whether we like it or not.
—[adult swim] once again, lampshading their own Network Decay.
lampshading their own Network Decay.The worst television is MTV. "Music Television" — they call it that, they don't even play music. What if everybody did that? "Hey thanks for calling New York Pizza. Yeah, give me two large pepperoni pizzas. Oh we don't sell pizzas. What? No, we just have raccoon hats and eye patches. Call a bookstore if you're hungry.".
When did The History Channel become a network for shows about what people in the Klan do during the day?
— Dana Gould
'...You are all witnessing television history and like most history, it's not on the History Channel."
— Stephen Colbert during the first episode of his Late Show.
Your name is Cartoon Network,
so you expect to see,
nothing but animation when you flip CN on your TV.
But the times they are a-changing,
so don’t get left behind,
because now we’ve got real people and,
we’ve heard it blows your mind.
so you expect to see,
nothing but animation when you flip CN on your TV.
But the times they are a-changing,
so don’t get left behind,
because now we’ve got real people and,
we’ve heard it blows your mind.
Not everything you're told is true. MTV: We Don't Play Music.
— MTV, "Old Wives' Tales" campaign from September 2005. Yes, they actually used this as a slogan.
BBC Two has turned into BBC One, right? There's some quite good programmes on BBC Two, but the BBC One shows, on the whole, are a bit ITV. So BBC One's turned into ITV, ITV's turned into Sky. BBC Four is BBC Two now — BBC Four is the only thing you can get any kind of arts or decent documentary stuff on — and BBC Three, what is that? Channel Five.
— Harry Hill, interviewed on BBC Radio 5 Live.
. Family Guy is next on Freeform. They once had an episode where the Griffins met the Pope. Does that help?
— Freeform (originally the Christian Broadcast Network), station ident placed after The 700 Club.
A good "stand and stir" cooking show is to the Food Network what the music video is to MTV: ancient relics of both institutions' respective original purposes before mission creep led them to trashy reality competition programming, apparently the entropic end stage of all TV.
— Adam Ragusea
