Quotes / Missing Steps Plan

Film — Animated

Ballister: Did you even have a plan?
Nimona: Uh, this is the plan? I break you out, chaos, destruction, something something something, we win!

— NIMONA (2023)

Film — Live-Action

Well, we got its attention. What the hell was step two?

— Iron Man, The Avengers (2012)

"Okay, this is what we're gonna do. Step one: light taunting. Step two: I have no idea."

— Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Live-Action TV

"I'm smellin' a lotta 'if' comin' off this plan..."

— Jayne Cobb, Firefly

Foggy: It's simple. Step one: we work together. Step two: we come up with a plan, and step three: we execute that plan.
Matt: That's genius. Did you come up with that by yourself?
Foggy: Still working out the details.

— Daredevil (2015), "Reunion"

Chris: An' if not, I'll be ready with phase four.

Darryl: Which is?

Chris: I dunno, I 'aven't worked it out yet.

— Birds of a Feather, "First Time Caller"

Sylvie: FYI, that wasn't even a plan.
Loki: Oh, really?
Sylvie: Plans have multiple steps. Dressing as a guard and getting on a train is just doing a thing.

— Loki, "Lamentis"

Radio

Dancer Man: There’s only one thing left before I unleash all these clones in my hideous master plan!
Agent Smoulder: What’s that?
Dancer Man: A hideous master plan. I haven’t thought of one yet.

— The X Fools

Video Games

Johnny Gat: I'm gonna shoot the devil in the face.

Kinzie: I think you might be skipping some details.

Johnny: No, I said "in the face".

— Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell

"I'm too busy to formulate a plan! How can I possibly get anything done if I'm going to spend time knowing what I'm doing?"

— Dr. Boom, Hearthstone: The Boomsday Project

Web Animation

Fill in the blank: disgraced Assassin, embittered drunk, Templar aide, ???, master Assassin.

— Zero Punctuation on Assassin's Creed: Unity

Blitzo: ...Do you have any questions?
Moxxie: Uh, yeah. Why was that nonsense?
Blitzo: That wasn't a question.
Moxxie: That wasn't a plan.

— Helluva Boss

Web Original

"The idea was that French resistors could walk up to German soldiers and spray them with poop smell, thus embarrassing them, and, after an unknown second step, the Nazis would lose the war. As you didn't learn about this in history class, it's probably clear that this tactic didn't work."

— Cracked, 5 Military Weapons Clearly Designed by a 5-Year-Old

Perhaps kenning that this goal is markedly short of their usual ambitions, Luthor tosses in, "And then it will only be a short step to world domination!" Apparently their plan is:

Step 1: Use army of super-apes to conquer Africa.

Step 2:

Step 3: Rule the world!

— This review of the Superfriends episode "Revenge On Gorilla City"

"Why gather up all these psychics, including both a clone of Cable and an alternate future daughter of Cyclops and Jean? Well, it turns out that he needs their psychic powers in order to erase all of time so that he can recreate the universe and organize everything neatly to reflect his obsession with the survival of the fittest. Which, not to get too Cosmos in here, is kind of how the universe is actually organized already, but, y’know, whatever. He’s a giant blue dude who turns his hand into guns sometimes. I don’t really expect him to make sense."

—Chris Sims on X-Men: The Animated Series, "Beyond Good and Evil Pt. 4"

David: If movie Lex Luthor were a Batman villain, he’d be Land-Man, and kill his victims with electrified real estate signs.
Chris: Paying rent to the guy who killed half the world to live on radioactive crystal that, and correct me if I’m wrong on this one, cannot actually support farming? So tempting! Hey, they got that Luthor is supposed to be a genius, right? Like, he’s not supposed to be dumb as all hell?
David: Maybe Otis killed Luthor in prison and took his identity.

— Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Superman Returns

Perry had by [2008] already emphasized that his favorite way of dealing with problems (i.e. Texas’s problems) was to attempt to pray them away. For the 2011 drought, for instance, Perry’s solution was to declare a three-day “Prayer for Rain”. The fact that it was an astounding failure didn’t deter him from continuing in the same manner. When asked how he would go about fixing the nation's numerous problems if becoming president, for instance, he responded: “I think it’s time for us to just hand it over to God, and say, ‘God: You’re going to have to fix this’” (which is curious, for to televangelist James Robison he claimed that the economic crisis is God’s will)...if became president he would re-invade Iraq immediately, presumably to reduce the national debt.

— Encyclopedia of Amercian Loons on Rick Perry (R-TX)

Phelous: Well, THAT didn't work.
Bennett the Sage: Didn't you have any other strategy outside of going, "Aaaaaaahhhhh!" (waving his hands in mockery)
The Nostalgia Critic: Well, I didn't think that far ahead.
The Cinema Snob: No, you just thought up to where everyone was in charge, and you were ruling the fucking world.
Nostalgia Critic: (in unironic agreement) Yes.

— Kickassia

Webcomics

Step One: Lie.
Step Two: ???
Step Three: Profit.

— Ethan, Shortpacked!

Western Animation

Emory: How's the deterraforming going?
Major Shake: When, Uh-What is deterraforming? This is the first I've heard of that.
Oglethorpe: Well, look, look, just settle down. Can you just, like, maybe try and replicate some other people and get an army going, and then, you know, uh, take over the planet?
Emory: Or is that not possible?
Major Shake: I don't know. I don't think I can replicate others. Was that your plan?
Oglethorpe: Well, one of them. We have many plans.
Major Shake: Well, maybe your next plan should be to tell me what the plan is.

— Aqua Teen Hunger Force

"How were we gonna take over the world with a white Michael Jackson anyway?"

—Alien, Robot Chicken, "Where's Michael?"

Irene: We find the girl and her Dog with the tracker, we push them here, we bait the Hawk into taking the beast [Dog], and then we take the girl and we get off this damn island!
[...]
Cap: Listen, that sea creature will kill us, that bird or anything else the second we get near the water. What's your plan there?
Irene: That part's easy. We kill it.
Cap: How?
Irene: Well, that part's... harder. [winces; sighs] I don't know...

— Skull Island (2023) "What's Up, Croc?"

Phase 1: Collect underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit

— South Park

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