Quotes / Mathematician's Answer

"Does it explain anything? No. But that is the best answer you are going to get."

— Da Fuk Did I Watch?'s Sleepless Domain liveblog

You know what’s frustrating? Answers that aren’t answers.

—Dagna, Dragon Age: Inquisition

King Cailan: Do you come from the Alienage? Tell me, how is it there? My guards all but forbid me going there.
Elven Grey Warden: I killed an arl's son for raping my friend.

— Dragon Age: Origins

Kosh: They are alone. They are a dying people. We should let them pass.
Sinclair: Who? The Narns or the Centauri?
Kosh: Yes.

— Babylon 5

Sheridan: Well, as answers go; short, to the point, utterly useless, and totally consistent with what I've come to expect from a Vorlon.
Kosh: Good.

— Babylon 5

So what do I do first? Do I play video games? Do I watch a Blu-Ray DVD? Do I download content from the online marketplace? The answer is of course, yes. Because I have three PS3's.

— Paul, LoadingReadyRun

"I was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors! You may ask yourself: who was wearing the bolo tie? You or the shark? Answer: YES."

—Mister Torgue, Borderlands 2

Roy: Hello Judy. What can I do for you?
Judy: COMPUTER'S BROKEN.
Roy: Is it a PC or a Mac?
Judy: (Beat) YES.

— The IT Crowd

*MAD DUMMY - ATK 30 DEF YES
*Because they're a ghost, physical attacks will fail.

—CHECKing Mad Dummy, Undertale

Tony: [from inside rotor] Okay, tell me what you see!
Steve: [staring at a bewilderingly high-tech panel] It seems to run on some form of electricity.
Tony: Well, you're not wrong...

— The Avengers (2012)

Slang: Ssssssssssso, ssssssssssssssir... v-vhich von do you like? Your vay of dealing visssssssssss deasssssssssssss, or our vay of dealing visssssssssss deassssssssssss?
[beat]
Nimja: Yes.

Slang: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS?! Zat'ssssssssss all you hafe to sssssssssssay?! Vat'sssssssssss zat efen ssssssssssssssupposssssssssssssed to mean?
Nimja: [chuckles] Oh, Slang... [he shakes his head, giggling] Do you remember when I told you about Boolean values?

— Pokémon × Nimja: Play the Game, "These Are the Days"

Brom: Could you tell us which house Jeod lives in?

Angela: I could.

Brom: Will you tell us?

Angela: Yes.

(Beat)

Angela: Of course I'll tell you! All you have to do is ask! Your first question was whether or not I could tell you, and the second was if I would tell you. But you never actually put the question to me.

Brom: (smiling) Then let me ask properly. Which house is Jeod's? And why are you holding a frog?

—Eragon

Cassie: We were blown through time, Jake. We aren't where we want to be. And we aren't when we want to be.

Jake: Did we go forward or back? Are we in the past or the future?

Ax: <Yes. It's definitely one of those two choices.>

—Animorphs #11: The Forgotten

Player 1: This is stupid. Why are we still looking for (an NPC)?
Player 2: Because we haven't found him yet, obviously.

—Entry on Shit My Players Say

A characteristic of Vermonters (at least as portrayed in humorous stories) is that the Vermonter, when asked a question, gives accurate answers but often fails to include information which may be highly relevant and very important. A perfect illustration of this principle is the joke about one Vermont farmer who went to his neighbor’s farm and asked the other farmer, “Lem, what did you give your horse last year when it had the colic?” Lem replied, “Bran and molasses.” The farmer went home, returned one week later, and said, “Lem, I gave my horse bran and molasses, and it died.” Lem replied, “So did mine.”

—Raymond Smullyan, What is the Name of This Book?

Odo: How did you get in here?!
Koloth: I am Koloth.
Odo: That doesn't answer my question!
Koloth: Yes, it does.

—Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Anonymous asked: What dinosaur would be best for selective breeding to produce an animal with a lot of edible meat. What dinosaur could become a cow dinosaur

The cop-out answer is, of course, "a turkey", since birds are dinosaurs. But we both know that’s not what you meant, so let's get into it!

—Fossils and the People who Love Them [1]

Richard Dawson: I said, "Name a time that most people get up." And being the Einstein that you are, you said, "Morning."
Fred: That's when I get up.
Richard: Our survey said:
(buzzer)
Richard: Zip. And if that wasn't bad enough, I said, "Name a time that most people go to bed." You said, of course, "Night." Our survey said:
(ding)
Richard: Two.

— Family Feud

Doctor: Are you married, River?
River: Are you asking?
Doctor: Yes.
River: Yes.
Doctor: No, hang on, did you think I was asking you to marry me, or asking if you were married?
River: Yes.
Doctor: No, but was that "yes", or "yes"?
River: Yes.

— The Big Bang, Doctor Who

Caller: Do you have any other insurance? Secondary insurance?
Whitey Whitebeard: (long pause) Yeah.
Caller: Hello, are you following? Okay. So is it an HMO plan, or a PPO?
Whitey: Mmm.
Caller: No, I'm asking you, is it an HMO plan, the insurance that you have? Is it HMO plan, or a PPO?
Whitey: Okay, yes.
Caller: Um, what, okay, sir, I'm asking you what plan, an advantage plan, do you have? Is it HMO or PPO?
Whitey: Yeah. Mmm, yes, yes.
Caller: Why are you saying yes?

— Whitey Whitebeard, a bot from the Jolly Roger Telephone Company, strings along a Medicare scammer who wants to send him a back brace

Caller: May I know your name, please?
Bot: Yep, mm-hmm.
Caller: May I know your name?
Bot: Okay, mm-hmm.

— Another Jolly Roger bot, this time wasting the time of a Windows Support scammer

Sam: (reading a sign on the White House lawn) "Do not feed the submarine."
Max: What can you feed a submarine?
Sam: Nothing. Weren't you listening?

— Sam & Max Save The World

Undine: That just leaves Gwen...
Gwen: Yo.
Tessa: When did you get here?
Gwen: Earlier.

— Sleepless Domain

Kate: Where are you taking us?
Richie: Mexico.
Kate: What's in Mexico?
Richie: Mexicans.

—From Dusk Till Dawn

Shadow: Where are we? Am I on the tree? Am I dead? I thought everything was finished. What's real?
Whiskey Jack: Yes.
Shadow: Yes? What kind of an answer is yes?
Whiskey Jack: A good answer. True, too.

— American Gods

Warner Siblings: (as a response to "What are you?", meaning "What species are you?") "What we are, dear doctor, is cute."

Dr. Scratchandsniff: "I'm sorry I asked."

— Animaniacs

Jerry Seinfeld: What kind of language do people use? What kind of language—
Barack Obama: English. As a general rule.

— Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Butarega: King Vegeta, I have urgent news!
King Vegeta: Speak, Butarega.
Butarega: Bardock has gone absolutely mad, Sire!
Bardock: (off in the distance) FREEZA!!
King Vegeta: What's all the commotion about?
Butarega: He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta!
King Vegeta: Wait, my son, the planet, or me?
Butarega: ...Yes.
(Butarega is blasted by King Vegeta)
King Vegeta: Freakin' smartass.

— Dragon Ball Z Abridged

Shemp: Anybody else?
Cantrell: Sargent Cantrell.
Shemp: How do you spell that?
Cantrell: .....correctly.

— The Quick and the Dead

Kairi: Wait, is Ralts your name or your species?
Ralts: [telepathically] Yes!
Larvitar: Lar.
Ralts: Oh, he says yes, too. About being called Larvitar, that is. It'd be silly if he was called Ralts.

— Colosseum of the Heart

RuPaul: Where in England are you from, Adele?
Ginger Minj (as Adele): My house.

— RuPaul's Drag Race

Man: "When were you born?"
Momo: (thoughtfully) "As far as I can remember, I've always been here."

— Momo

Walter: (on the phone) Where is Jesse?
Mike: Jesse's with me. He's fine.
Walter: What, do you expect me to just believe that?
Mike: I'm crossing my heart, Walter.
Walter: Where is he?
Mike: Hold on.
Jesse: Yo.
Walter: Jesse?
Jesse: Yeah. S'up?
Walter: Jesse, wh—wh—where are you?
Jesse: With Mike.

—Breaking Bad, "Shotgun"

When asked what his business consists of, Bob says, "Making money." Queried for details on how he makes this money he says, "By having revenues exceed expenditures."

—The Businessman's (Bob Brockler) ending bio, Burger Shop 2

Church: Caboose, did Command say who they were sending?
Caboose: Uh... uh, yes! They definitely did.
Church: (long pause, looks at Tucker, then back at Caboose) Okay? Do you remember who they-
Caboose: No.
Church: God-dammit.

—Red vs. Blue

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