Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
David: I still love how nobody picked up that Lois Lane had a kid nine months after publishing an article called “I Spent the Night With Superman.”
Chris: “How many Ws in ‘boner?’” – Movie Lois Lane
Chris: “How many Ws in ‘boner?’” – Movie Lois Lane
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on
Superman Returns
Superman ReturnsMaury Povich just shuffled off to a corner and melted into a mound of woe, because he’s always wanted to say the words “Frank Sinatra IS the father.”
—Michael K., "There’s No Way Ronan Farrow Can Be Frank Sinatra’s Son, So Says Tina Sinatra"
, "There’s No Way Ronan Farrow Can Be Frank Sinatra’s Son, So Says Tina Sinatra"Jill never told Ted that she had been sleeping with someone else the week their son was conceived. Ted and I were both about the same height with same fair skin and the same pale blue eyes; she knew that without a DNA test there'd be no sure way to know which one of us is the biological father. But there was a sure way to know which one of us was "dad material", and which one of us wasn't. Jill was clear that she preferred everlasting uncertainty to the possibility of discovering that Ted was not her son's father. As the one who carried Alastair in her womb, it was her choice to make.
—Hugo Schwyzer, I May Have a Son, But I'll Never Know for Sure
Dwight: This child is definitely mine, he looks just like me.
Angela: Every baby looks just like you. Your face kinda looks like a baby.
Dwight: Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding?
Angela: (glances at camera) That is completely untrue.
Dwight: Completely true. Remember? You said that Robert was not fulfilling you and I said "I bet I could fulfill you" and you said "I'd like to see you try" and then I kissed you with the force a thousand waterfalls.
Angela: That didn't happen.
Dwight: And then I inserted my penis into your—
Angela: Dwight.
Dwight: —vagina.
Angela: Every baby looks just like you. Your face kinda looks like a baby.
Dwight: Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding?
Angela: (glances at camera) That is completely untrue.
Dwight: Completely true. Remember? You said that Robert was not fulfilling you and I said "I bet I could fulfill you" and you said "I'd like to see you try" and then I kissed you with the force a thousand waterfalls.
Angela: That didn't happen.
Dwight: And then I inserted my penis into your—
Angela: Dwight.
Dwight: —vagina.
— The Office (US), "Jury Duty"
Today, father, is Father's Day
And we're giving you a tie
It's not much, we know
It's just our way of showing you
We think you're a regular guy
You say that it was nice of us to bother
But it was a pleasure to fuss
For according to our mother, you're our father
And that's good enough for us!
And we're giving you a tie
It's not much, we know
It's just our way of showing you
We think you're a regular guy
You say that it was nice of us to bother
But it was a pleasure to fuss
For according to our mother, you're our father
And that's good enough for us!
—Groucho Marx, song
Yes, fertilization is part of my station
I laugh as he grabs me in anticipation
Of sons who will run things when I'm under covers
But whose children are they? Well, mine and my lover's
I laugh as he grabs me in anticipation
Of sons who will run things when I'm under covers
But whose children are they? Well, mine and my lover's
—Emilie Autumn, "Marry Me"
Mater semper certa est, pater est, quem nuptiae demonstrant.note
—Roman dictum
Butterscotch: Are you certain it's mine?
Beatrice: Well, whose else could it be?!Cut lines
Beatrice: Well, whose else could it be?!Cut lines
— BoJack Horseman, "Time's Arrow"
But Frex got himself up and went to kiss his wife. It was not clear to anyone whether he suspected that Turtle Heart was the father, nor was it clear to Melena which one, her husband or her lover, was the father. She didn't actually care.
— Wicked
Carson: I want to make this crystal clear. [William and Lucrezia's son] was named at Master William's insistence and was born two years - two years and three months, technically - after the Baron had disappeared. That's very important.
Krosp: [Sees that said son was named after the Baron, Lucrezia's previous lover] I can see why.
Carson: You'd be amazed how many people ignore the math!
Krosp: [Sees that said son was named after the Baron, Lucrezia's previous lover] I can see why.
Carson: You'd be amazed how many people ignore the math!
Oh, I know they say I inherited [my white hair] from my Pop-Pop, but I also know how Mr. Grouse visits every so often to see my mom. He was doing it as far back as when I was conceived... Dad knows about it, even — he lets Mr. Grouse fuck Mom to keep him from telling the authorities about the shitstorm that is our family. (Not that he would anyways, the cranky old fuck.)
Flip, from Flip's Food and Fuel downtown, also likes to visit Mom, too. I heard that he found out about us years ago, and blackmailed Dad into letting him fuck Mom in exchange for his silence. And I haven't confirmed this, but I heard from Lucy that Mom's also been seeing her boss, Mr. Feinstein, at work. So, yeah, I don't really know who exactly my dad is. All I know is... it's not my dad.
Flip, from Flip's Food and Fuel downtown, also likes to visit Mom, too. I heard that he found out about us years ago, and blackmailed Dad into letting him fuck Mom in exchange for his silence. And I haven't confirmed this, but I heard from Lucy that Mom's also been seeing her boss, Mr. Feinstein, at work. So, yeah, I don't really know who exactly my dad is. All I know is... it's not my dad.
"There's a—a chance... that Brock Mason could be Ally's biological father."
— Kim Havoc, Dr. Havoc's Diary ("Kim Leaves")note
