Quotes / Ludicrous Gibs

Ian: Did you find him?

Roland: (grimly) Just the parts they didn't like.

— The Lost World: Jurassic Park

"I think civility flew out the window the second I found the lawnmower. With Dignity and Humanity splattered on the walls."

— Leo, VG Cats, "#207 - "You've Got Some Red On You"

In Fallout, guns don't fire bullets. They fire miniature unicorns ridden by tiny jockeys that carry razor-sharp garrote wire!

— Ctrl+Alt+Del

{someone got blown to bits}
Simon: Gibs.
Kable: What?
Simon: Like giblets. Kibbles 'n Bits. Chunks. Pieces. Everywhere.
Kable: These are real humans, fucker!

— Gamer

The few surviving samurai survey the battlefield
Count the arms and legs and heads, and then divide by five

—They Might Be Giants, "Certain People I Could Name"

"Ooh, they're goin' tae have tae glue you back together... IN HELL!"

— The Demoman, Team Fortress 2, "Meet the Demoman"

"Good hit, I see lots of little pieces down there."

AC-130 Fire Control Officer, Modern Warfare

George: Oh sir, just one thing. If we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?
Blackadder: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.

— Blackadder Goes Forth

"Rest in pieces!"

— Big Bertha Tower, Kingdom Rush

Gordon: Where is he?
Joker: What's the time?
Gordon: What difference does that make?
Joker: Well depending on the time, he may be in one spot or several.

— The Dark Knight

Hit 'em hard enuff, an' Eldar turn ta paste!

Oi twiggy! Wut do all ya boyz an' a smashed-up jammy paste have in common? Come 'ere, I'll show ya!

Ya got guts skinny, I'll give ya dat... and they're gettin' all over da place! Yuck!

— Kaptin Bluddflagg on the joys of flattening Space Elves, Dawn of War Retribution

There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the chute,
Intestines were a-dangling from his paratroopers suit,
He was a mess, they picked him up, and poured him from his boots,
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

—Blood on the Risers, traditional American paratrooper song

"Holy SHIT! There's NOTHING left! There's just chicken nuggets now!"

— Vinny discovering Blade Mode kills in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Your Evangelion's head explodes so violently it becomes shrapnel and damages anyone else nearby.

—One of the pages in the manual about critical hits, Adeptus Evangelion

Master, look! I've done it! I've done it! I smashed, and pounded, and grounded this rotten siren into fleshy pink pulp! There, you filthy monstrosity! What good's your immortality now?! Try stirring up trouble in this sorry state! All mangled and twisted, with every inside on the outside for all the world to see! Hahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

— Alfred, Hunter of Vilebloods, Bloodborne

"It's a gift. It's your parting gift. In that it will part you. Part of you here, part of you there, part of you waaaaaaay over there, staining the wall."

— Lord Shen, Kung Fu Panda 2

Davros: By tugging that cord, you reactivated the magnetic field of her chute. The magnetic properties of the planet are too powerful: she's being pulled down to the planet's core.

Calcula: With just a concrete floor in the way.

Davros: Yes.

Calcula: There's not much of her left.

Davros: Plenty for my purposes.

Calcula: You know what this means?

Davros: That the Supremo will want me to invent a new machine to clean the floor?

—Big Finish Doctor Who: I, Davros - Corruption

But Jimm was already blowed to smitheroons.

—Quarter-Life: Halfway To Destruction

The room had a red carpet. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that the room had once had a yellow carpet. It was covered in blood. There was more blood on the walls and on the bed. There was even blood on the blood.

The Diamond Brothers: I Know What You Did Last Wednesday

"You know how when you shoot a human sized bag of lasagna with a bullet that waits three seconds then violently distributes the lasagna over a fifty foot radius?"

—Sydney, Grrl Power

Ledger: Can I test out if this hammer will kill one of these things?
Franko: Ummmmmmm, yeah.
Ledger: Will I lose a point?
Franko: Umm, depending on the brutality of the kill.
Ledger: [Launches the hammer into a Duck Hunt NPC] Oh god, it was pretty fuckin' brutal!

— Mr. Gibbs, "Duck Hunt Hide and Seek"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the first enemy in the game."
(Raiden goes ham on said enemy)
"Now he's the first one hundred enemies in the game."

—An Incorrect Summary of Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Jeff: Your Son?
Achmed: Uh, he's not around anymore.
Jeff: Why not?
Achmed: I am a horrible parent.
Jeff: I took him to "Take Your Kid To Work" Day. (Audience laughs) IT'S NOT FUNNY! My wife is still pissed at me! She came into the market and said "Where's our Son?" And I say "Over there, over there, and up there".

— Jeff Dunham

"We got a bleeder!"

— Fastpass, South Park: The Fractured but Whole

"Good thing there's a drain for all that blood."

— Fastpass, South Park: The Fractured but Whole

Professor Chaos: The Final Girl's nice and all, but all this blood is kinda gross!
Fastpass: Just be happy it's not your blood!

— South Park: The Fractured but Whole

Fastpass: Wow, they're really bleeding everywhere.
Professor Chaos: Golly! I guess monsters have more blood in 'em than humans do.

— South Park: The Fractured but Whole

"All this blood is making Mintberry Crunch queasy."

— Mintberry Crunch, South Park: The Fractured but Whole

"It's tough to stay crunchy with everyone bleeding all over."

— Mintberry Crunch, South Park: The Fractured but Whole