Quotes / Lemon

"Lemons are stories that explicitly depict sexual activities, so named because they leave a sour taste in one's mouth, if not other places. A lime is a lemon with most of the really good bits taken out."

— Gary Kleppe, "A Guide to Writing Really, Really Good Fanfiction."

"A Lemon-fic doesn't need to be vulgar. It just needs to make you check your parents aren't in the house. And a good Lemon-fic just needs to make you want to read the next chapter. Except, one-handed."

— Anonymous

"Now I know why they call 'em lemons. They leave a sour taste in my mouth."

— Anime Detective: Crossover Crisis, by Pearson "Doc" Mui.

“I wouldn’t have minded a rather more detailed conclusion [to Pride and Prejudice] — say, a twenty-page sex scene featuring the two principals, with Mr. Darcy, furthermore, acquitting himself uncommonly well.”

— Martin Amis

Kasumi: Would you like something from the fruit bowl to finish with?
Kentaro: Sure! Let's see, you've got oranges, apples, grapes... is this a lemon?
Kasumi: Goodness, no. Just an ordinary fanfic.

— Kasumi Tendo dents the Fourth Wall in There Goes The Neighborhood, by Gary Kleppe

So what are a plucky reporter and a super powered alien to do?

Have sex, that's what they do. Knock boots, bumb uglies, grind genitals. Maybe they solve a crime, maybe they write an article for the Daily Planet, but the important thing is they screw like bunnies.

— The Clark Kent and Chloe Sullivan Mysteries by Firebunny

They banged. The End.

— Love at first sight (Harry Potter) gets down to the bare essentials.

"And then they all kissed-a Kevin and got-a super pregnant! The End."

— Luigi, "Sonic Meets Original Fan Characters"

"Let's act out my Sonic fanfiction. I'll pick something family friendly. (starts sorting) No no, not that one, eh...ohh, definitely not that one. Not that one either..."

— Mark the Tapir, Sonic Boom season 2 episode 5, "The Biggest Fan". Picking out a SFW fic is harder than it looks.

"And then Jack turned to Yusei and said 'Come over here and kick my engines into overdrive.'"

— Yusei reading an excerpt from a Yusei/Jack Yaoi fanfic from Bonds Beyond Time Abridged

Jesus' eyes widened an imperceptible amount as he took in the sight of Noah, naked, before him.

Fumbling for something witty, he said, "So the ark's not the only bit of wood my father gave you."

Noah grinned – his grey eyes flashing in lust. "Your father isn't the only one who gives me wood."

Jesus laughed. "I can see that."

— "Take Me Into Your Ark", a Biblical fanfic.

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