Church Guy: "Who's there?"
Francis: "Let's see, I'm Francis, and that's grandpa Bill, and there's zombies out here, open the goddamn door!"
Francis: "Let's see, I'm Francis, and that's grandpa Bill, and there's zombies out here, open the goddamn door!"
Bill: "We've been immune so far, but, well, if I start to turn, promise you'll shoot me."
Francis: "What if just your beard starts to turn, can I shoot that?"
Bill: "Don't be an ass, Francis."
Francis: "What if just your beard starts to turn, can I shoot that?"
Bill: "Don't be an ass, Francis."
Zoey: "Hey Francis, your latest issue of 'Hating Everything' magazine is here."
Francis: "I hate latest issues."
Francis: "I hate latest issues."
Louis: "We made it... I can't believe we made it!"
Bill: "Son, we just crossed the street. Let's not throw a party 'til we're out of the city."
Bill: "Son, we just crossed the street. Let's not throw a party 'til we're out of the city."
Louis: "We're gonna find that sailboat right around the corner, you just watch!"
Francis: "Louis, if you don't stop being positive, I'm gonna sink the boat just to make you sad!"
Francis: "Louis, if you don't stop being positive, I'm gonna sink the boat just to make you sad!"
Francis: "I hate helicopters. I hate hospitals. And doctors and lawyers and cops..."
Bill: "Francis, is there anything you don't hate?"
Francis: "You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests."
Bill: "Francis, is there anything you don't hate?"
Francis: "You know what I don't hate? I don't hate vests."
Bill: "I'll see peace back on earth if I gotta murder every one of these bastards with my bare goddamn hands."
Coach: "Report unusual behavior. Barricade your homes. Avoid all contact with infected individuals. Wait for official instructions." Wait, my ass.
Ellis: (Cocks shotgun) Kill all sons-a-bitches, that's my 'ficial instructions.
Ellis: (Cocks shotgun) Kill all sons-a-bitches, that's my 'ficial instructions.
—Intro Cutscene
Coach: Who the hell... puts an evac station... up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?
Nick: Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate.
Nick: Come on, Coach. Maybe the helicopter... maybe it's made of chocolate.
—Intro Cutscene
This used to be a nice neighborhood!
—Coach, Intro Cutscene
I have not... come this far... to die now.
—Nick, Intro Cutscene/Near-Death dialogue
Okay, we'll set off the pyrotechnics, but I'm telling you right now. I AM NOT GOING TO AIR GUITAR.
—Nick, Dark Carnival Finale
Nick: So, how are we going to signal Virgil?
Ellis: Oh, there's flares in the gun bag.
Nick: What gun bag?
Ellis: You didn't grab the guns?
Nick: Me?! Who died and made me gun monitor?!
Ellis: Pretty much everybody.
Coach: Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on.
Ellis: Oh, there's flares in the gun bag.
Nick: What gun bag?
Ellis: You didn't grab the guns?
Nick: Me?! Who died and made me gun monitor?!
Ellis: Pretty much everybody.
Coach: Look here, the gas station's right across the street. We coulda already been there and back by now. Come on.
—Hard Rain Intro
Coach: Hello?
Military: Rescue 7, that's coming from the bridge! Bridge, identify yourself.
Coach: Hey! There's four of us on the bridge!
Military: Bridge, are you immune?
Coach: We are not infected.
Military: Negative Bridge. Are you immune? Have you encountered the infected?
Coach: [indignant] "Encountered"?! Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke, and eyeballs, and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SHIT!
Military: Rescue 7, that's coming from the bridge! Bridge, identify yourself.
Coach: Hey! There's four of us on the bridge!
Military: Bridge, are you immune?
Coach: We are not infected.
Military: Negative Bridge. Are you immune? Have you encountered the infected?
Coach: [indignant] "Encountered"?! Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke, and eyeballs, and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SHIT!
—The Parish Finale
