Edgar (to his wife): I go out, I work my butt off to make a living, all I want is to come home to a nice clean house with a nice fat steak on the table, but instead I get this — this — I don't even know what you call this! I'll tell you what it looks like, it looks like poison. Don't you take that away, I'm eating that, damn it! It is poison, isn't it? I swear to God, I would not be surprised if it was, the way you skulk around here like a dog been hit too much — or ain't been hit enough, I can't make up my mind. You're useless, Beatrice! The only thing that pulls its weight around here is my goddamn truck!
[a flaming UFO slams into the pickup parked in the drive, obliterating it in an explosion, Edgar rushes out to the front door]
Edgar: Figures.
"Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead"
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead"
— John Lennon, "Instant Karma"
Well, when justice strikes
Well, every once in a while
It makes a bullseye hit
Well, every once in a while
Well, every once in a while
It makes a bullseye hit
Well, every once in a while
— Devo, "Jimmy"
The advertising quack who wearies
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I've enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs.
With tales of countless cures,
His teeth, I've enacted,
Shall all be extracted
By terrified amateurs.
Well, you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light
—Johnny Cash, "God's Gonna Cut You Down"
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
—The Bible, Galatians 6:7, King James Version
Tell the righteous it will be well with them, for they will enjoy the fruit of their deeds. Woe to the wicked! Disaster is upon them! They will be paid back for what their hands have done.
—The Bible, Isaiah 3:10 - 11, New International Version
I've received my comeuppance at last!
—Dan Halen, Squidbillies
My bad, homie. I picked C. Ain't that a bitch?
—Franklin Clinton, Grand Theft Auto V
Evil deeds have a way of making their way back to us. Prepare yourself.
—T. Hawk, to M. Bison, Super Street Fighter IV
Have you ever heard of karmatic justice? Remember… what goes around comes around.
—Kitaro, GeGeGe no Kitaro (2018)
The first and most important rule of gun-running is: never get shot with your own merchandise.
—Yuri Orlov, Lord of War
A basic rule of covert ops is let someone else do your dirty work. Let someone else find the guy you want to kill. It's a great technique… as long as you're not the "someone else."
—Michael, Burn Notice ("False Flag")
No matter how she hurts people, she ends up getting hurt the worst!
—Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, on Nanami Kiryuu, Revolutionary Girl Utena
You felt your sins crawling on your back.
The funny thing about karma… It goes round and round… and in the end, it comes back to bite you.
—Roland, Digital Devil Saga
"You know the kind of the guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was just waiting around the corner. Karma. That's when I realized I had to change. So I made a list of everything bad I've ever done and one-by-one I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl."
—Opening Narration, My Name Is Earl
The thing about karma on the Discworld is that it often happens real soon.
—The Discworld Companion, on the events of Guards! Guards!
Hey, everybody! Look at this! It's that boy who laughs at everyone! Let's laugh at him!
—Ian, The Very Tall Man, referring to a pantsed Nelson Muntz, The Simpsons, 22 Short Films About Springfield
Lousy rotten karmic retribution!
—Homer Simpson, whenever he ends up getting caught by the police for destroying things, The Simpsons Hit & Run
"They deserve that!"
—Johnny Test after seeing an episode's villains being forced to sniff their own armpits.
So tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day (one day)
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt!
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day (one day)
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt!
Darren's Wikipedia page was back up, but locked after continual editing abuse. He also had a few hundred followers on Twitter, but none anyone would care to meet in the flesh if their communications were any display of personality. But now, after months of intensive work with one of the most complex delusional patients he had even encountered, Dr. Bernard P Basset had achieved that moment of acceptance.
Only minutes after that crucial breakthrough session, however, the psychiatrist had been forced to call for immediate security assistance when Darren finally acknowledged – fully, totally and wholly – that when he had killed "the witch," he had effectively lifted "the curse." He was not in fact forgotten at all. But neither would he ever be remembered for anything other than his madness, his depravity, his failure.
—Forgotten, by Muriel Gray
John Constantine: I see it all now. All the angles. All the little people you've fucked over — all the innocent lives you've destroyed in your scramble for money and power and nasty kicks without consequences. Well, I'm the fucking consequences, sunshine. And I'm thinking Mako won't be too chuffed that you got him trapped in that Soul Cage for all eternity. Your private heaven just turned into a private hell, mate… and Mako's the devil. Give him my best when you get there, won't you?
Lord Burnham: [dying] A-Anything… I'll give you anything… I can make you rich…
John Constantine: You made your own bed, Burnham. Fuckin' lie in it.
—Hellblazer: The Roots Of Coincidence
Jake: You tried to kill us. You threatened to turn us over to Visser Three. Not to mention what you've done to Saddler's family.
David: <You can't judge me! You're not God!>
Jake: David, we have fought the Yeerks for a long time now. It seems like forever. We are not going to let you beat us. We are going to save the human race if we can. There are larger issues… more important…
Rachel: We're doing to you what you were trying to do to us. Law of the jungle: eat or be eaten.
—Animorphs #22: The Solution
So I came home early to surprise you
And I tiptoed over to your bedroom
Where I found you there
His fingers running through your hair
And so I walked out
Took a couple months for me to calm down
While you were moving on with your new love affair
Life can treat me so unfair
Til my friends called me up and they told me the news
He came home smelling like another perfume
It turns out that cheaters get cheated on too
Cause he cheated on you
And I tiptoed over to your bedroom
Where I found you there
His fingers running through your hair
And so I walked out
Took a couple months for me to calm down
While you were moving on with your new love affair
Life can treat me so unfair
Til my friends called me up and they told me the news
He came home smelling like another perfume
It turns out that cheaters get cheated on too
Cause he cheated on you
—Grayson DeWolfe, "Karma"
I won't take your bait
No need to make you pay
'Cause karma's gonna help me anyway
Watch out, Karma's what you make!
No need to make you pay
'Cause karma's gonna help me anyway
Watch out, Karma's what you make!
—Clover: Love, Hope, Faith & Luck, "Karma"
"If someone has wronged you - do not take revenge, wait and see how fate will avenge you."
— Laozi
He that scatters thorns, let him not go barefoot.
—Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack (1736)
"Wait? What's that sound? I dunno, call me crazy, but I think that's the sound of the universe coming back into balance."
—SlimKirby Explanation
I work at a restaurant on a major thoroughfare. To get to work, I have to go through a six-lane intersection.
I’m sitting at the light, waiting for it to turn green. About two cars ahead and one row over is very large, jacked-up truck with every loud and obnoxious bell and whistle you could think of.
The millisecond that the light turns green, the truck lays on his horn. When the cars in front of him start moving, he revs his engine and releases a large cloud of dark exhaust before he guns it. The four or so cars around me, myself included, are encased in the cloud, and can’t see anything, causing us to have to sit for a moment until the cloud dissipates.
Then, the cop car behind me puts on his lights and siren, and chases the truck down.
And that, children, is called instant karma.
I’m sitting at the light, waiting for it to turn green. About two cars ahead and one row over is very large, jacked-up truck with every loud and obnoxious bell and whistle you could think of.
The millisecond that the light turns green, the truck lays on his horn. When the cars in front of him start moving, he revs his engine and releases a large cloud of dark exhaust before he guns it. The four or so cars around me, myself included, are encased in the cloud, and can’t see anything, causing us to have to sit for a moment until the cloud dissipates.
Then, the cop car behind me puts on his lights and siren, and chases the truck down.
And that, children, is called instant karma.
"Karma police, arrest this man."
Leo: What are you smiling at?
Josh: Nothing, it's just... [grinning smugly] Toby got the stamp assignment.
[Toby and Leo share an unamused look]
Toby: Leo, I could use some help on this.
Leo: Take Josh. [Walks off]
Toby: Thanks. [To Josh] Congratulations, you're choosing the next stamp. [Walks off in the opposite direction]
Josh: [Stunned] ... Wow that happened fast.
Josh: Nothing, it's just... [grinning smugly] Toby got the stamp assignment.
[Toby and Leo share an unamused look]
Toby: Leo, I could use some help on this.
Leo: Take Josh. [Walks off]
Toby: Thanks. [To Josh] Congratulations, you're choosing the next stamp. [Walks off in the opposite direction]
Josh: [Stunned] ... Wow that happened fast.
—The West Wing, "Galileo"
