Quotes / Jerkass Woobie

All spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

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Anime & Manga

"All the children here are miserable. When you are miserable, you need something that is even more miserable than you to feel good about yourself."

—Lucy, Elfen Lied

"Is it okay if I exist? *silence* .... PLEASE CARE ABOUT ME! ... Nobody cares about me... Everyone can just die."

— Shinji Ikari, The End of Evangelion

Sheila: [from flashback] Magic to make people happy, my foot! I'll never accept anything like that!
Eva: Arusu, I want you to help Sheila.
Arusu: Help her?
Eva: Because I feel so sorry for her. She's all alone, you know! She doesn't believe in anyone. Really, the poor thing!
Arusu: Well, I don't know if you'd call this helping her exactly, but…
Eva: But... But what?
Arusu: Listen, Eva, have you ever seen Sheila laugh?
Eva: Huh? I don't think so.

— Tweeny Witches, "Witches' Tradition" (subtitles)

Fan Works

You need someone to take care of you, you need to be part of something, to feel alive again. You are pathetic, and not even the kind of sweet, idealized pathetic that would make someone take pity on you. No, you are the bitter, obnoxious, desperate kind of pathetic, and you know it.

— Eridan describing himself in the fic And there will be no tenderness

"I've been attached to them since the day of my 'birth'. Obviously I connected with them, created a bond...but for some reason, my temper always got the best of me. I don't know why. We've never been this far apart before, it's weird...I feel so empty."

—Tangle, Koili's ask blog for Brothers of Circuits

Stolas: Octavia?
Octavia: Yeah?
Stolas: I... I know how your mother can be. Unpleasant, arrogant, selfish... With all that said, she really does love you. She missed you as well... I know she can be... Frustrating and self-centered, but she's desperate for a second chance with you.

— Stolas and Octavia about Stella, Owl's Hell That Ends Well

Cosmo: I don't know, Wanda. She may be miserable, but we've seen plenty of times at school where she's honestly being a heartless, stuck-up witch!
Wanda: And we both know that she's a slave to popularity and has an over-bearing mother, which prevents her from expressing her sensitive, tomboyish, nice side in an appropriate manner!

—The Truth About Trixie Tang

Films — Animated

"626 was designed to be a monster, but now he has nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like to have nothing... not even memories to visit in the middle of the night?"

— Jumba on Stitch, Lilo & Stitch

Films — Live-Action

He must be so lonely. He must be so sad.
He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad.
He's really a victim of fear and of pride.
Look close and there must be a sweet man inside!
(Beat)
Nah!

—The Muppet Christmas Carol, "Scrooge"

Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

— Davy Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Literature

"I know a little of this man Sandor Clegane. He was prince Joffrey's sworn shield for many a year, and even here we would hear tell of his deeds, both good and ill."
"If even half of what we heard was true, this was a bitter, tormented soul, a sinner who mocked both gods and men. He served, but found no pride in service. He fought, but took no joy in victory. He drank, to drown his pain in a sea of wine. He did not love, nor was he loved himself. It was hate that drove him. Though he committed many sins, he never sought forgiveness."
"Where other men dream of love, or wealth, or glory, this man Sandor Clegane dreamed of slaying his own brother, a sin so terrible it makes me shudder just to speak of it. Yet that was the bread that nourished him, the fuel that kept his fires burning. Ignoble as it was the hope of seeing his brother's blood upon his blade was all this sad and angry creature lived for... and even that was taken away when Prince Oberyn of Dorne stabbed Ser Gregor with a poisoned spear."

— Elder Brother, regarding Sandor Clegane, A Feast for Crows

Suddenly, I was overcome with sadness. Poor Sally Ratmousen, I thought. Yes, she was my enemy. Yes, she was rude. Yes, she was obnoxious. Yes, she was an all-around pain-in-my-fur. But it was Christmas Eve. No mouse should be alone on such a special night.

— Geronimo Stilton, "Merry Christmas, Geronimo!"

"So, he was lashing out with sexist language because he had his heart broken. We all learned something."

— Bo Burnham, on his poem "I Fuck Sluts"

Trash: What are you trying to steal from me?
Whatamess: I, I wasn't stealing. I'm here to give you something.
Trash: Yeah, a heart attack. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! And nobody I know is out in the cold for altruistic reasons.
Whatamess: Well, I'm not trying to altru anything, either. I just wanted to give you a Christmas present. Kinda like Santa would.
Trash: You expect me to believe that?
Whatamess: (pulls out a present) Merry Christmas?
Trash: (in awe) No kidding? I.......you know......(about to cry).....like I've never had one of these before.....

— Santa Whatamess

"...She was sorry to part from the village and the peasants. She remembered how they had carried out Nikolay, and how a requiem had been ordered for him at almost every hut, and all had shed tears in sympathy with her grief. In the course of the summer and the winter there had been hours and days when it seemed as though these people lived worse than the beasts, and to live with them was terrible; they were coarse, dishonest, filthy, and drunken; they did not live in harmony, but quarrelled continually, because they distrusted and feared and did not respect one another. Who keeps the tavern and makes the people drunken? A peasant. Who wastes and spends on drink the funds of the commune, of the schools, of the church? A peasant. Who stole from his neighbours, set fire to their property, gave false witness at the court for a bottle of vodka? At the meetings of the Zemstvo and other local bodies, who was the first to fall foul of the peasants? ''A peasant.'' Yes, to live with them was terrible; but yet, they were human beings, they suffered and wept like human beings, and there was nothing in their lives for which one could not find excuse. Hard labour that made the whole body ache at night, the cruel winters, the scanty harvests, the overcrowding; and they had no help and none to whom they could look for help. Those of them who were a little stronger and better off could be no help, as they were themselves coarse, dishonest, drunken, and abused one another just as revoltingly; the paltriest little clerk or official treated the peasants as though they were tramps, and addressed even the village elders and church wardens as inferiors, and considered they had a right to do so. And, indeed, can any sort of help or good example be given by mercenary, greedy, depraved, and idle persons who only visit the village in order to insult, to despoil, and to terrorize? ."

— Anton Chekhov, "Peasants"

Live-Action TV

"Jack Colquitt sat alone in his apartment at Christmas. He believed in sacrifice. Yet, some nights, he longed for a second chance..."

—The Cigarette-Smoking Man, on himself from The X-Files

"He is only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer. That is his crime, it is also his punishment."

— Kryten on Rimmer

"And there it is. This whole "I don't care what people think about me" act? It's pretty convincing. But methinks that there's a sad little cartoon boy living inside the hairy beast. And he's sad because at the end of the day he realises that the only thing people think about is what an evil son-of-a-bitch he really is."

— Dr. Cox on Dr Kelso, Scrubs, "My Kingdom"

Music

Darkened eyes you'll see, / there is no hope, no savior in me
(don't look this way, don't breathe this way, / don't stare this way, anymore)
Learned from years gone by, no one will care, / what happens to me
(don't look this way, don't breathe this way, / don't stare this way, anymore)
I'm alone in here / No more feelings
Killed my fears / Don't ask
you'll never know / you're left behind, I'll be exposed
Far away, you keep on trying... / Holding me down, breaking away,
trying to distance my life. / Not one in the crowd, but one with the answer
the one that could change your mind / It's not true, I don't need you
Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine / I'm not your friend, won't soothe your soul
And in the end you're all dead to me...

—Avenged Sevenfold, "Desecrate Through Reverence"

I want my innocence back
And if you can't give it to me
I will cut you down

—Emilie Autumn, I Want My Innocence Back

"You're a bitch, but I love you anyway."

— Bowling for Soup, "The Bitch Song"

Your face is as mean / As your life has been

—Morrissey, "Jack the Ripper"

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
behind blue eyes

—The Who, "Behind Blue Eyes"

Theatre

Dorothy: Know what? You don't got game enough to be wicked. All you are is plain old, everyday, passable mean.
Evillene: Well, if I'm mean, what does that make you?
Dorothy: Don't make me nothing.
Evillene: Think not? Which one of us dropped a house on the other one's sister? And which one of us yanked the silver heels right off of that dead sister's not-even-cold-yet feet? And which one of us gathered up a crew to put a hit on the other one? You're three for three, little girl, so before you go casting shade, I'd take myself a good look in the mirror.

—The Wiz Live!

Video Games

Nathan is... odd. He's extremely privileged, yet dark and brooding. Even though he's a dick, I can't help feeling bad for him sometimes. He's really just a weird little dude trying to figure out his shit, but he has to pretend to be all this stuff he's clearly not, like an athlete or a "cool" kid. You can tell it fucks him up inside.

— Chloe Price's journal entry on Nathan Prescott, Life Is Strange: Before the Storm

Web Comics

When his parents had departed Treehollow, they’d left him behind. He’d heard some creatures say that when your family went Abroad, you ended up being tainted, too. And in that moment, he believed it. He was tainted. No matter where he went, he sucked the happiness out of it. Every smile faded. Every friend eventually turned away. Every new home became nothing but a memory

— Tales From Treehollow short story "Tainted AKA "Where We Belong" regarding Cur, Tamberlane

Web Original

Hey how come I'm in that trope?

—The Nostalgia Critic, Why is Loki So Hot?

"You amaze me, Mike. You manage to inspire both great sympathy and rage by all those around you. Sometimes both at the same time. When you die, I hope they examine your brain to find out why... and I really hope they let me be the one to rip it out."

—Aubrey, Something*Positive.

Rainbow Dash: I just want to be loved for once at the gala.
The Choir: No pony likes Rainbow Dash / Because she is annoying / But now I kind of pity her / No wait, the feeling has passed.

—Ultra Fast Pony

Mango: Orange! I know what you're doing. You're using humor to keep others from getting close.
Orange: That's not true.
Mango: Sure it is. After all, the carnage you've seen, it's only natural. It's hard meeting people, but not nearly as hard as watching them go.
Orange: (touched) Stop it, Mango. You're making my eyes juicy.
Mango: Oh, let it go, Orange. Just let it go.

—The Annoying Orange, It Takes Two to Mango

Western Animation

Ice King: Why do people not like me? Is it because I'm a magic-user? Or is my beard too shaggy? *Sigh* I try so hard to be a good husband for girls. What's wrong with me?

The Cosmic Owl: Hoooo! You're a sociopath.

— Adventure Time

My own mother thought I was a monster... She was right, of course, but it still hurt.

— Azula, Avatar: The Last Airbender, "The Beach"

"Let me out of here! I have a fashion show to ruin! I was finally, finally gonna outshine Barbie and feel good about myself for once in my entire life!"

—Raquelle, Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse

"You're such an angry girl, Helga. And you won't let anyone help you. So you have to live with your unhappiness."

— Inga, from the Hey Arnold! episode '"Helga and the Nanny"

"You have no ability to feel and you are going to die alone and miserable."

— Kenny's Will describing Eric Cartman from South Park

"I bet if he had just one friend, he wouldn't be such a meanie."

—Spongebob Squarepants, about Plankton in the episode "F.U.N."

The Sith took everything from me. Ripped me from my mother's arms, murdered my brother, used me as a weapon, and then cast me aside. Abandoned me. Once, I had power - now I have nothing.

— Maul, Star Wars Rebels, "Twilight of the Apprentice - Part I"

"Why does this always happen? I didn't even do anything evil this week!"

— Dr. K as his lair is flooded, Cubix: Robots for Everyone, "Hurricane Havoc"

Other

"Tiger is an emotional wreck and responds to his problems by being a jerk"

—Obbl, Housepets! Forum.

"Nobody loves me! Why should I love the dog?"

—Mikhail Korovin, Laika

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