Quotes / Jerk Jock

Letter upon his jacket, medal around his neck,
Pin on his chest, and mind on his rep,
He only dates models, drinks his soda from the bottle,
When he walks, he waddles, and he ain't never lost a squabble.
He put you in a locker and took your girlfriend to prom,
He's in your life every day and you can't wait 'til he's gone
But 'daddy' owns a business, so it won't be long
Before he inherits it, makes carats and sings a rich man's song.

— Eyedea, "Big Shot"

Chris: Kudos to Smallville's casting department for finding an actor who looks like the resident smarmy jerk in every high school ever. I could watch Pete bounce a basketball off that kid’s head for hours and get as much out of it as four years of therapy.
David: Yeah, he looks like the stereotypical high school jock douchebag in every single high school drama. He’s just lacking some acne, but the small gut plus the letter jacket plus the shoulder-length unkempt hair = That Guy You Totally Couldn’t Stand.

—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Craving")

The first story is about these jocks who are totally evil, because all jocks in movies are evil. When you see a guy in a football uniform in a movie, that's just like seeing dudes dressed as Nazis. It's a cinematic shortcut.

— Mr. Satanism's Video Picks for Perverts's review of Campfire Stories

I am a sports fan, which means that I am willing to put up with a lot of corrupt jackassery from my owners and commissioners and college presidents. It's baked right into the system.

—Drew Magary on the 2022 World Cup

Murderer of self-worth, dignity, individualism and everything a modern society professes to stand for, yet promoted in the media and society in general as a great role model. Generally fails in life due to thinking they were too 'cool' to get a job, or a house, or a source of income, and more often than not forced by terrible circumstances to work for the very nerds they were bullying.

—Urban Dictionary

If you look at Jon Hamm and think to yourself that’s definitely the face of an asshole who abused balls with a hammer and terrorized b-holes with severe wedgie torture in the early 90s, then you’re strangely specific and probably right...Three members of Sigma Nu were sentenced to 30 days in the clink and the fraternity was shut down (but it was later reopened). The police issued a warrant for Jon Hamm’s arrest in 1992, but the charges were dropped in 1995 after he reached a plea deal.

The lesson to be learned here is that sometimes big dicks are attached to big dicks.

—Michael K., "Jon Hamm Was An Asshole Frat Bro In The 90s"

"Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except date rapes and AIDS jokes."

—J.D., Heathers

"You are talented. You are a star. You may be hated, so long as you are feared. Most important of all, you are a winner."

—Boscha to her reflection, The Owl House

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