Besides, nobody's getting hurt! (corpse falls to the ground behind him) That guy was already up there when I got here.
— Wade Wilson, Deadpool
Gine: Based on our intel, the inhabitants of this planet should have really low power-levels. Therefore, I should be the strongest fighter here! In other words, there's nothing on this planet that will take me by surprise...
Grandpa Gohan: [suddenly appears next to her] Hello!
Gine: [startled] AAAAH!
Grandpa Gohan: [suddenly appears next to her] Hello!
Gine: [startled] AAAAH!
Vegeta: I can't believe you're my son.
Trunks: Hey, you said it, not me.
Vegeta: Kakarot isn't like you. He's a full blooded Saiyan warrior! He'd throw that senzu bean back in your face. Because it's not the world that's at stake...
Trunks: I'm pretty sure it is...
Vegeta: It's his Saiyan pride! He'll see the end of this fight without any of our help, even if it kills him.
Goku: [powers down] I give up.
Vegeta: I'LL KILL HIM!
Terry: We need to find out how Nucci got to Debbie. Fortunately, it turns out she kept a fairly comprehensive diary.
Charles: As a power journaler, I think we can hold off on using the word "comprehensive."
[Cuts to a room completely filled with Debbie's diaries]
Charles: Oh, damn, that's comprehensive.
— Brooklyn Nine-Nine, "Debbie"
Faye: You can take off your coat if you wanna. Nobody's gonna be weird about you here.
Bubbles: Mm. [takes off her coat]
Emily: Can I hit you as hard as possible with my rubber mallet?
Faye: Okay, I was wrong.
Bubbles: Mm. [takes off her coat]
Emily: Can I hit you as hard as possible with my rubber mallet?
Faye: Okay, I was wrong.
Woolie: No, they are gonna come! There's no ladder for them to stop them.
Pat: No, but they do not- they will not come into this building. Like watch.
Woolie: You're certain, are you?
(Enemy runs into the building)
Pat: What? Fuck you. You're not supposed to do that!
Woolie: Uh-huh. A lot of things aren't supposed to happen, Pat.
Pat: Why is everything so intent on proving me wrong?
Pat: No, but they do not- they will not come into this building. Like watch.
Woolie: You're certain, are you?
(Enemy runs into the building)
Pat: What? Fuck you. You're not supposed to do that!
Woolie: Uh-huh. A lot of things aren't supposed to happen, Pat.
Pat: Why is everything so intent on proving me wrong?
Calvin: I've missed half of my TV show now.
I hope you're happy.
Calvin's Dad: You shouldn't be planning your life around the TV anyway. [...] Look, I don't think it's too much to ask that we sit together for forty minutes without distractions and interruptions.
Phone: RINNGG!
Calvin's Mom: I'll get it! I'm expecting a call.
Calvin: Go ahead, Dad. I believe you were saying something funny.
Calvin's Dad: I have all these great genes, but they're all recessive. That's the problem here.
I hope you're happy.Calvin's Dad: You shouldn't be planning your life around the TV anyway. [...] Look, I don't think it's too much to ask that we sit together for forty minutes without distractions and interruptions.
Phone: RINNGG!
Calvin's Mom: I'll get it! I'm expecting a call.
Calvin: Go ahead, Dad. I believe you were saying something funny.
Calvin's Dad: I have all these great genes, but they're all recessive. That's the problem here.
Bronn: Get back to King's Landing.
Jaime Lannister: I'm not abandoning my army.
Bronn: You're their commander, not a damned infantry man! Those fuckers are about to swamp us!
Jaime Lannister: (grimly determined) We can hold them off-
Mighty Roar offscreen. Enter Drogon. Curb-Stomp Battle ensues.
Jaime Lannister: I'm not abandoning my army.
Bronn: You're their commander, not a damned infantry man! Those fuckers are about to swamp us!
Jaime Lannister: (grimly determined) We can hold them off-
Mighty Roar offscreen. Enter Drogon. Curb-Stomp Battle ensues.
— Game of Thrones, "Spoils of War"
"There's been a misunderstanding," Bingo gabbled at them. "I'm sorry that you've been inconvenienced, but you've got the wrong hole. Nobody here called Grabbings. No wizard, there's no wizard here. You'll have to go away."
From behind him, in the sitting room, came a series of axe-like chopping noises such as can only be produced by a man who has scoured the walls of his lungs red and smooth over many years of dedicated smoke inhalation.
— The Soddit
Now you know this house will last FOREVER!
— Ernie Smuntz just before the house collapses behind him, MouseHunt
Okita-san's great victory! Yep, my body's all fine! I Can Still Fight! — *cough!?*
Lisa: They call her the Cat Lady. People say she's crazy just because she has a few dozen cats. But can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy?
Crazy Cat Lady: (shouts incoherently and throws cats at Lisa)
Crazy Cat Lady: (shouts incoherently and throws cats at Lisa)
— The Simpsons, "Girly Edition"
Instructor: This is a real battlefield, but don't be alarmed, we're perfectly safe at the moment.
*Other recruit gets headshot with an arrow*
Instructor: Well, I suppose that moment has passed.
— MORDHAU tutorial
Quack: There. My last acorn. And don't ask for more, because there aren't any!
(rumbling noise comes from Quack's bush)
Chirp: What was that?
Quack: (nervous) What was what?
Peep: That noise that sounded like a lot of acorns falling down.
Quack: Peep, those weren't acorns. (acorns fall from the bush)
He stood on the gantry, hands in his ski anorak pockets, watching the skutters lasering their way through the hull.
"How long before we're in?" he asked Holly.
"Two, maybe three days."
There was a noise: the sound of creaking metal buckling and ripping as the huge, arch-shaped door, which the laser torches were cutting into the craft's hide, slowly teetered forward and fell like a medieval drawbridge, crushing all eight skutters.
"Maybe even sooner," added Holly unconvincingly.
— Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers
Samuel Hayden: You can’t just shoot a hole into the surface of Mars.
VEGA: The portal is ready.
Mission Objective: Shoot a Hole in Mars.
"Is this a joke? What, you think—You think I can't deal with a CAT?"
— Kale during the first phase, in which he proceeds to get beat up by said cat, Hi-Fi RUSH
Daphne: Marcy, where were you this morning before you met us in the town square?
Velma: Daphne!
Marcy: No, it's okay Velma. I was at the mall. I work part-time at Khaki Corner.
Daphne: Can anyone confirm this?
Marcy: Sure. The security guard, my assitant manager, the guy who works at Pretzel Nation. In fact, there's an in-store security camera that has me on tape.
Daphne (unconvinced): Uh-huh. And do you have access to this alleged tape?
[The scene then pans to Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Marcy watching the security footage in the back of the Mystery Machine]
Daphne: Uh, please! You can't even see her face, that could be anyone!
[Cue a guy from outside the camera's field of vision saying "Hey Marcy! How's the Corn Princess today, huh!?" as the girl in the footage turns her head to look at the guy in question, leaving a gaping Daphne to look down in embarrassment and Marcy to smirk triumphantly]
Velma: Daphne!
Marcy: No, it's okay Velma. I was at the mall. I work part-time at Khaki Corner.
Daphne: Can anyone confirm this?
Marcy: Sure. The security guard, my assitant manager, the guy who works at Pretzel Nation. In fact, there's an in-store security camera that has me on tape.
Daphne (unconvinced): Uh-huh. And do you have access to this alleged tape?
[The scene then pans to Fred, Daphne, Velma, and Marcy watching the security footage in the back of the Mystery Machine]
Daphne: Uh, please! You can't even see her face, that could be anyone!
[Cue a guy from outside the camera's field of vision saying "Hey Marcy! How's the Corn Princess today, huh!?" as the girl in the footage turns her head to look at the guy in question, leaving a gaping Daphne to look down in embarrassment and Marcy to smirk triumphantly]
— What's New, Scooby-Doo?, "A Scooby-Doo Halloween"
Bazelgeuse are known to be incredibly...[Bazelgeuse begins clipping through the terrain while flying]...intelligent...creatures...capable of mimicking the habits of other...animals...such as...burrowi-Okay, seriously, is this some kind of joke?! What the fu-
"[Legiana flies around in the background] What is this? Oh, it's a butterfly! Butterfly never hurt an-[Legiana flies up close and attacks Zanny] DEATH BUTTERFLY!!"
— Zanny, "Monster Hunter World being relatable"
""I can't believe that worked! … Oh fuck, that didn't work!"
— Tucker, Red vs. Blue: The Recollection
Rameses: I'm done for! Father will kill me!
Moses: Don't worry, nobody will even notice us coming in!
[They walk in; the entire crowd sees them and cheers loudly]
Rameses: "Nobody will even notice."
Moses: Heh-heh-heh.
Moses: Don't worry, nobody will even notice us coming in!
[They walk in; the entire crowd sees them and cheers loudly]
Rameses: "Nobody will even notice."
Moses: Heh-heh-heh.
Sokka: The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn't it?
Toph: You make it too easy!
Toph: You make it too easy!
[to the tune of "Billie Jean"]
Miles Prower is not my son!
He's just a fox who claims that I am the one!
But the fox is not my son!
He says I am the one,
But the fox is not my son!
[record scratch]
[Robotnik opens a letter from an orphanage] ...What? He's my son? ...WHAT?!
Miles Prower is not my son!
He's just a fox who claims that I am the one!
But the fox is not my son!
He says I am the one,
But the fox is not my son!
[record scratch]
[Robotnik opens a letter from an orphanage] ...What? He's my son? ...WHAT?!
— Robotnik, iteachvader, Robotnik BASE Jumps from the ISS
Lily: [about Ted and Marshall betting on College football] Why do you guys put yourselves through this? You lose every year.
Ted: That's because in the past, we were just guessing. This year, we watched every game, read box scores, tracked injuries. This isn't March Madness. This is March Meticulously Thought-outness!
Barney: [Checking on his phone] Your team lost 20 minutes ago.
Ted: ...I didn't know they were playing today.
Ted: That's because in the past, we were just guessing. This year, we watched every game, read box scores, tracked injuries. This isn't March Madness. This is March Meticulously Thought-outness!
Barney: [Checking on his phone] Your team lost 20 minutes ago.
Ted: ...I didn't know they were playing today.
—How I Met Your Mother, "The Bracket"
"I'm not hungry," mumbled Narcis, who was still very moody. However, his rumbling stomach begged to differ.
"The tummy always tells," teased Heike.
"The tummy always tells," teased Heike.
Aral: I fear you've shocked my Barrayarans, love.
Cordelia: Why? Did they think they had a monopoly on savagery? Those were Vordarian's last words. 'You're a Betan. You can't do.'"
Aral: Do what?
Cordelia: This, I suppose he would have said. If he'd had the chance.
Cordelia: Why? Did they think they had a monopoly on savagery? Those were Vordarian's last words. 'You're a Betan. You can't do.'"
Aral: Do what?
Cordelia: This, I suppose he would have said. If he'd had the chance.
Demyx: So, in short, stay away from him and wait till things change. Sounds good to me.
Larxene: Easy for you to stay, you’ve just got basic recon duty. Some of us have actual work to do. (smiles) Well, okay, mostly it’s just keeping the witch in line. Sure there was that stunt with the jungle. But seeing as how she’s stuck on the 13th floor of that labyrinth with no idea how to open dark corridors, us stronger than her by far, and no one else knowing she exists...we pretty much have her on lockdown.
Suddenly, darkness gathered at Vexen’s seat, and he reappeared, wide-eyed.
Vexen: She’s gone. Naminé has completely vanished from Castle Oblivion!
Larxene: Easy for you to stay, you’ve just got basic recon duty. Some of us have actual work to do. (smiles) Well, okay, mostly it’s just keeping the witch in line. Sure there was that stunt with the jungle. But seeing as how she’s stuck on the 13th floor of that labyrinth with no idea how to open dark corridors, us stronger than her by far, and no one else knowing she exists...we pretty much have her on lockdown.
Suddenly, darkness gathered at Vexen’s seat, and he reappeared, wide-eyed.
Vexen: She’s gone. Naminé has completely vanished from Castle Oblivion!
"All right then, the game decided to go apeshit, and I'm hardened at this point. I'm ready for anything..." (monster dog with bald man head appear with ominous tune) "WAIT, I LIIIED!! I was NOT- I was NOT ready for anything! Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope SO MUCH NOPE!"
—JonTron, reviewing Monster Party
Uzi: [Sarcastically] I want to join the WDF and hide behind the doors like cowards while playing cards and stuff...
Khan: Well, we don't just play cards...
[The WDF door opens, revealing a large group of WDF members playing a card game around a table]
WDF Member: Khan! Can you grab a fresh pack? We literally only play cards so much that the numbers have faded. Oh hey Uzi!
Khan: Well, we don't just play cards...
[The WDF door opens, revealing a large group of WDF members playing a card game around a table]
WDF Member: Khan! Can you grab a fresh pack? We literally only play cards so much that the numbers have faded. Oh hey Uzi!
— Murder Drones, "Pilot"
Maya (holding a bottle of milk): This always works. Here you go, Dina!
(Dina rejects the milk)
Maya: Hey, that always works!
(Dina rejects the milk)
Maya: Hey, that always works!
Olive: Excuse us, sir.
Tentacle Man: Ap-bap-bap-bap. You'll have to answer a question if you want to pass.
Otto: Actually, sir, we're kind of in a rush, so, uh, if you don't mind...
Tentacle Man: Actually, I do mind! [he stands up to reveal his octopus tentacles] Boom.
Otto: We- we'll answer your questions gladly, sir.
Tentacle Man: Ap-bap-bap-bap. You'll have to answer a question if you want to pass.
Otto: Actually, sir, we're kind of in a rush, so, uh, if you don't mind...
Tentacle Man: Actually, I do mind! [he stands up to reveal his octopus tentacles] Boom.
Otto: We- we'll answer your questions gladly, sir.
Olive: How did this happen?
Oscar: Funny story...as you know, I take gadget safety very seriously-
Oprah: We were playing "Toss the Switchinator Gadget", when Butterfingers over here dropped it!
Oscar: Bad throw if you ask me.
Oscar: Funny story...as you know, I take gadget safety very seriously-
Oprah: We were playing "Toss the Switchinator Gadget", when Butterfingers over here dropped it!
Oscar: Bad throw if you ask me.
(A TMZ reporter on an electric motorcycle is riding through the Haywood Ranch, much to the protests and warnings of Em. The ranch is Jean Jacket's territory, and Jean Jacket is coming down to hunt...)
Em: (Talking into a Walkie-Talkie) Fellas, here it comes! Over!
Angel: Pop quiz, guys: What happens an electric bike going 60 mph hits an anti-electric field going in the opposite direction?!
(The bike the TMZ reporter is riding shuts off due to Jean Jacket's ability to shut any and all electronics off, sending the reporter flying off the bike.)
TMZ Reporter: (In the distance) AHHH!!!
(The reporter hits the ground with a barely audible Sickening "Crunch!".)
(The TMZ reporter starts screaming loudly in pain.)
Antlers: Ahh, shit.
Em: Goddamn! I told his ass not to go! I told him NOT to go!
—NOPE
Gwyneth: Ginger, cecaelia are vicious, bloodthirsty, sea-beasts!
Mr. Ocean (a cecaelia): Welcome home, Ginger. Your gown is nearly finished. Oh, and I've got sugar cookies in the oven. Would our guest like some? They have sprinkles.
Mr. Ratburn: I'll show you around the teachers' lounge. The nice thing about adults is that we don't blow little things out of proportion. [opens the door to show the teachers arguing]
Ms. Sweetwater: I didn't move your cheese!
Mr. Haney: Yes, you did! Mr. Marco said so!
Ms. Krasny: All right, who isn't washing their coffee mugs?!
Rocky [seeing the billboard for Fun-Land Farms]: Well, hey, that doesn't look so bad!
They round a corner and see what the farm actually looks like - a dark, dystopian Evil Lair.
Rocky: Oh, that looks so bad...
Branch: I bet you [John Dory]'s only here because he needs something!
Poppy: That's not true! He's your brother!
John Dory: Branch, I'm gonna be straight with you: I need something.
Branch: And there it is.
Poppy: Come on, man, I'm trying here.
Poppy: That's not true! He's your brother!
John Dory: Branch, I'm gonna be straight with you: I need something.
Branch: And there it is.
Poppy: Come on, man, I'm trying here.
Fern: Mistress Frieren, you saw the result of the Mikheit spell, didn't you? That's a mimic.
Frieren: Fern... That spell is 99% accurate.
Fern: And your point is?
Frieren: It's only because there are great mages that see through that one percent that historic discoveries can happen. Yes, I'm sure of it. There's a rare grimoire inside. That's what my experience as a mage tells me.
(One Smash Cut later, Frieren is eaten by said chest, which is actually a mimic)
Frieren: IT'S DARK!! I'M SCARED!!!
Frieren: Fern... That spell is 99% accurate.
Fern: And your point is?
Frieren: It's only because there are great mages that see through that one percent that historic discoveries can happen. Yes, I'm sure of it. There's a rare grimoire inside. That's what my experience as a mage tells me.
(One Smash Cut later, Frieren is eaten by said chest, which is actually a mimic)
Frieren: IT'S DARK!! I'M SCARED!!!
—Frieren: Beyond Journey's End, one of the series Running Gag.
