Black Mage: Where the Hell are we?
Red Mage: My A-hole.
Black Mage: Goddamnit, Red Mage.
Red Mage: My A-hole.
Black Mage: Goddamnit, Red Mage.
Iris: "Blow those boys away!"
Amame: "Blow those boys away!"
Mizuki: "Yeah, blow those boys!"
Iris: "Mizuki, uh..."
Amame: "You really shouldn't say that..."
Amame: "Blow those boys away!"
Mizuki: "Yeah, blow those boys!"
Iris: "Mizuki, uh..."
Amame: "You really shouldn't say that..."
Atsushi: Would you like to get it on?
Hina: What? Yours is too big it will never fit!
— Recorder and Randsell Hina and Atsushi are both eleven years old, but Atsushi looks like he is 17. They are talking about Atsushi's coat.
The Doctor: You don't have any vegetable matter in your trousers, do you, Brian?
Brian: Only my balls.
(Rory facepalms)
The Doctor: I'm sorry?
Brian: Golf balls. (holds up golfball) Grassy residue.
Brian: Only my balls.
(Rory facepalms)
The Doctor: I'm sorry?
Brian: Golf balls. (holds up golfball) Grassy residue.
Hugo: Is this your parent's place?
Louise: Yes, they're down in the basement, grinding the meat.
Hugo: Uh-huh.
Louise: That's not a euphemism, they're really grinding it (pelvic thrust), the meat.
Louise: Yes, they're down in the basement, grinding the meat.
Hugo: Uh-huh.
Louise: That's not a euphemism, they're really grinding it (pelvic thrust), the meat.
— Bob's Burgers, "Human Flesh"
June: W-Wait!
Junpei: What..?
June: I-I-I-I'm not really...uh... I just... Oh Gosh...
Junpei was at something of a loss. What could she possibly be so frightened of? After a little thought, Junpei decided that she had to be nervous about being locked up in such a small space alone with a boy. In a way, it was kinda cute. Very...demure, you could say, he thought. Still, even though it wasn't exactly roomy in the elevator, they weren't going to be pressed up against one another. At least, they didn't have to be— Still, it was making her nervous. Junpei couldn't help but think how innocent she was...
Junpei: C'mon, let's go.
Again, he stepped toward the elevator—And again, he felt himself restrained.
June: I said wait a minute!
Junpei: Why?!
June: Aren't you afraid, Jumpy?
Junpei: Afraid of what?!
June: Well, I've never...you know...
She'd never been in an elevator with a man alone before? Even so, she still seemed awfully alarmed...
June: I might...get wet.
Junpei: Wh-What?!
June: Down there... I'd get soaking wet...
Junpei: W-Well, I mean, of course you would, that's the way it works. I mean, I've never heard of anyone getting soaking wet...somewhere...else...
June: That's...that's true...
Junpei: ...
June: You...don't mind?
Junpei: Mind what?
June: Getting...wet...
Junpei: W-Well, I dunno, I think I'd probably... You know...like it.
June: Gosh, Jumpy! You're so brave!
Junpei: ...Really? I mean, I kinda think any guy would do the same thing, you know? What happens, happens, right? If you get the chance, you've just gotta go for it. That's what a man's supposed to do, I guess.
June: Y-You're so cool, Jumpy! I really admire you!
Junpei: Uh, that...doesn't really seem like the sort of thing you oughta admire someone for...
June: I'm...I'm really scared...
Junpei: Y-Yeah... I mean, like you said, you've never...done it...before...
June: Yes...
June: So I don't think I'll be able to last very long, and then it'll be...over...
Junpei: ...O-Over...?
June: Yes. I'll go to heaven...
Junpei: ...Heaven...?
June: It feels kind of like you're floating in space, and your mind gets all fuzzy, like when you pass out... At least, that's what I've heard from people who have experienced it...
Junpei: A-Ah, yes, I've heard that too. Although I don't think the same thing happens to guys.
June: ...What?
Junpei: ...Huh?
June: But, it would happen to men too, wouldn't it? It would happen to anyone. Once it gets into your body, the same thing happens to everyone.
Junpei: ...Well...I mean... Usually it doesn't...go inside...the man... I mean, generally...
June: Yes, it does. Well, eventually it will. It's not like you really have a choice... Your body will force you to swallow some of it, eventually...
Junpei: Wh-What are you trying to do to me...?
June: Nothing... I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm just saying that that's what happens. It's a psychological reaction to what you're experiencing...
Was...was that really how it happened? It occurred to Junpei that perhaps that was how it worked... Perhaps he'd been mistaken all these years. Had he misunderstood life so gravely? The thought terrified him. June seemed to be entirely oblivious to Junpei's mounting confusion and terror.
Junpei: What..?
June: I-I-I-I'm not really...uh... I just... Oh Gosh...
Junpei was at something of a loss. What could she possibly be so frightened of? After a little thought, Junpei decided that she had to be nervous about being locked up in such a small space alone with a boy. In a way, it was kinda cute. Very...demure, you could say, he thought. Still, even though it wasn't exactly roomy in the elevator, they weren't going to be pressed up against one another. At least, they didn't have to be— Still, it was making her nervous. Junpei couldn't help but think how innocent she was...
Junpei: C'mon, let's go.
Again, he stepped toward the elevator—And again, he felt himself restrained.
June: I said wait a minute!
Junpei: Why?!
June: Aren't you afraid, Jumpy?
Junpei: Afraid of what?!
June: Well, I've never...you know...
She'd never been in an elevator with a man alone before? Even so, she still seemed awfully alarmed...
June: I might...get wet.
Junpei: Wh-What?!
June: Down there... I'd get soaking wet...
Junpei: W-Well, I mean, of course you would, that's the way it works. I mean, I've never heard of anyone getting soaking wet...somewhere...else...
June: That's...that's true...
Junpei: ...
June: You...don't mind?
Junpei: Mind what?
June: Getting...wet...
Junpei: W-Well, I dunno, I think I'd probably... You know...like it.
June: Gosh, Jumpy! You're so brave!
Junpei: ...Really? I mean, I kinda think any guy would do the same thing, you know? What happens, happens, right? If you get the chance, you've just gotta go for it. That's what a man's supposed to do, I guess.
June: Y-You're so cool, Jumpy! I really admire you!
Junpei: Uh, that...doesn't really seem like the sort of thing you oughta admire someone for...
June: I'm...I'm really scared...
Junpei: Y-Yeah... I mean, like you said, you've never...done it...before...
June: Yes...
June: So I don't think I'll be able to last very long, and then it'll be...over...
Junpei: ...O-Over...?
June: Yes. I'll go to heaven...
Junpei: ...Heaven...?
June: It feels kind of like you're floating in space, and your mind gets all fuzzy, like when you pass out... At least, that's what I've heard from people who have experienced it...
Junpei: A-Ah, yes, I've heard that too. Although I don't think the same thing happens to guys.
June: ...What?
Junpei: ...Huh?
June: But, it would happen to men too, wouldn't it? It would happen to anyone. Once it gets into your body, the same thing happens to everyone.
Junpei: ...Well...I mean... Usually it doesn't...go inside...the man... I mean, generally...
June: Yes, it does. Well, eventually it will. It's not like you really have a choice... Your body will force you to swallow some of it, eventually...
Junpei: Wh-What are you trying to do to me...?
June: Nothing... I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm just saying that that's what happens. It's a psychological reaction to what you're experiencing...
Was...was that really how it happened? It occurred to Junpei that perhaps that was how it worked... Perhaps he'd been mistaken all these years. Had he misunderstood life so gravely? The thought terrified him. June seemed to be entirely oblivious to Junpei's mounting confusion and terror.
Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, Junpei and June, about an elevator which could seemingly only go down to the submerged part of the ship.
I tried talking to the wife but she doesn't understand
The pleasure that it gives me when I hold it in me hand
The longer you play wi'it, the more it gets hard
Especially when you got no memory on your memory card!
The pleasure that it gives me when I hold it in me hand
The longer you play wi'it, the more it gets hard
Especially when you got no memory on your memory card!
— The Lancashire Hotpots, "Me PSP"
"Wow. Just ... around you, Kyon, that slider turns into a living innuendo factory. Kanae-chan's little 'you wore me out last night' comment, her constant Freudian slips, and now, 'accidentally falling into your bed'? I can't even bring myself to get worked up over the things that get said between the two of you - what really happened? And where'd the Trope-tan cosplay come from?"
— Haruhi, Kyon: Big Damn Hero
Belkar: I sense a great disturbance... as though a thousand double entendres cried out, and were suddenly silenced.
— The Order of the Stick, on the subject of Lord Shojo's very large, very impressive junk with room for lots of seamen.
Baby Blue: Hey there sexy. Is that a telescope or are you just happy to see me?
Criminy: It's a telescope.
Baby Blue: I bet you like playing with your instrument.
Criminy: Oh indeed I do! I take it out every chance I get!
Baby Blue: Oo! Sounds like fun.
Criminy: It's very powerful. I've enjoyed many heavenly bodies with it.
Baby Blue: [to Fuchsia] The force is strong with this one.
Baby Blue: Okay then. Show me how to use it.
Criminy: Sure!
Criminy: First you find a nice, cozy spot. Then you plant it firmly in place...
Criminy: Then you adjust the knobs. Gently. You want to be delicate with it. It's an extremely sensitive machine. Slide the lens back and forth... focus in and out...
Criminy: In... Out... In... Out...
Criminy: This could go on for hours.
Baby Blue: I need a cigarette...
Criminy: It's a telescope.
Baby Blue: I bet you like playing with your instrument.
Criminy: Oh indeed I do! I take it out every chance I get!
Baby Blue: Oo! Sounds like fun.
Criminy: It's very powerful. I've enjoyed many heavenly bodies with it.
Baby Blue: [to Fuchsia] The force is strong with this one.
Baby Blue: Okay then. Show me how to use it.
Criminy: Sure!
Criminy: First you find a nice, cozy spot. Then you plant it firmly in place...
Criminy: Then you adjust the knobs. Gently. You want to be delicate with it. It's an extremely sensitive machine. Slide the lens back and forth... focus in and out...
Criminy: In... Out... In... Out...
Criminy: This could go on for hours.
Baby Blue: I need a cigarette...
Detective Jake Peralta: Alright, Boyle, I trust your gut. Let's go free an innocent woman.
Detective Charles Boyle: Nice! My dream's comin' true... you and me, gettin' my lady off together.
Detective Jake Peralta: ... I mean, you know how that sounds, right?
[...]
Detective Jake Peralta: Check out the date on this storage locker receipt. She couldn't have rented it because she was busy gettin' busy.
Detective Charles Boyle: This is fantastic! I mean, I'm not happy that she was having sex with another man but I'm okay with it if that's what gets her off!
Detective Jake Peralta: Do you seriously not hear it? Because it almost seems intentional at this point.
Detective Charles Boyle: Nice! My dream's comin' true... you and me, gettin' my lady off together.
Detective Jake Peralta: ... I mean, you know how that sounds, right?
[...]
Detective Jake Peralta: Check out the date on this storage locker receipt. She couldn't have rented it because she was busy gettin' busy.
Detective Charles Boyle: This is fantastic! I mean, I'm not happy that she was having sex with another man but I'm okay with it if that's what gets her off!
Detective Jake Peralta: Do you seriously not hear it? Because it almost seems intentional at this point.
Kara: I'm looking through it. It's amazing. All the equipment I'm seeing. So many sizes and shapes...
Linda: All the…? Kara! Just where are you looking?!
Kara: The equipment room, where they keep all the sporting stuff, why?
Linda: Oh, I thought you were peeping in at the guy's lock— Forget it. My own dirty mind.
Linda: All the…? Kara! Just where are you looking?!
Kara: The equipment room, where they keep all the sporting stuff, why?
Linda: Oh, I thought you were peeping in at the guy's lock— Forget it. My own dirty mind.
You might imagine that the Smut Orcs killed Standards & Practices Agent Richard Cockingham, but actually they were just confused and couldn't figure out why he was so angry all the time.
In fact, Agent Cockingham choked to death on his own bile when he misheard a Smut Orc talking about a sick duck.
In fact, Agent Cockingham choked to death on his own bile when he misheard a Smut Orc talking about a sick duck.
—Monster Manuel, Kingdom of Loathing
JARVIS: Well, it is a tight fit, sir...
Tony Stark: Ow!
JARVIS: Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.
Tony Stark: Be gentle, this is my first time.
Tony Stark: Ow!
JARVIS: Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt.
Tony Stark: Be gentle, this is my first time.
— Iron Man note
Estelle: "Victory calls, and I come."
Flynn: (resolutely) "As you will."
—post victory banter, Tales of Vesperia
Sora: (watching Aqua spar with both Ventus and Roxas) Wow, that’s impressive that she can take the both of them like that! I’ve only fought Roxas before, I wonder what both of them at once would be like?
Lea bit his tongue. He absolutely would not, could not say what had just popped into his head, for two very good reasons.
First, Xion would kill him.
Second, Kairi and Riku would resurrect him just to kill him again.
Naminé: Wow, Sora, that’s something I’d expect to hear from Xion, not from you.
Lea turned in horror to see Naminé standing behind them, an angelically innocent smile on her face that he knew meant she knew exactly what she’d just implied. Xion had also understood the subtext, and was rapidly turning bright red.
Sora, in what Lea assumed must have been an intervention from Kingdom Hearts itself, had missed the implication entirely.
Lea bit his tongue. He absolutely would not, could not say what had just popped into his head, for two very good reasons.
First, Xion would kill him.
Second, Kairi and Riku would resurrect him just to kill him again.
Naminé: Wow, Sora, that’s something I’d expect to hear from Xion, not from you.
Lea turned in horror to see Naminé standing behind them, an angelically innocent smile on her face that he knew meant she knew exactly what she’d just implied. Xion had also understood the subtext, and was rapidly turning bright red.
Sora, in what Lea assumed must have been an intervention from Kingdom Hearts itself, had missed the implication entirely.
Ted: So, tell us, what was it like?
Barney: What?
Ted: Penetrating that barrier. You and I are the first ones to hit it. Well, not the first ones, certainly, but the first ones at this table.
Barney: I... I... I'm... I'm...
Marshall: Although, I'm gonna be hitting it pretty soon.
Robin: Yeah, you are.
Marshall: Yeah, and when I hit it, I'm going to go nuts.
Lily: It's gonna be all night, and I think I want a clown there. I'm a little bit scared of clowns, but for you, I'm there.
Barney: What are you talking about?!
Ted: The big three-oh. You know, my 30th birthday's this Friday. Did you forget? What kind of friend is this guy?
Barney: What?
Ted: Penetrating that barrier. You and I are the first ones to hit it. Well, not the first ones, certainly, but the first ones at this table.
Barney: I... I... I'm... I'm...
Marshall: Although, I'm gonna be hitting it pretty soon.
Robin: Yeah, you are.
Marshall: Yeah, and when I hit it, I'm going to go nuts.
Lily: It's gonna be all night, and I think I want a clown there. I'm a little bit scared of clowns, but for you, I'm there.
Barney: What are you talking about?!
Ted: The big three-oh. You know, my 30th birthday's this Friday. Did you forget? What kind of friend is this guy?
Goth: (to a wall-pinned Jock) [...] I know a place with lots of toys that we can play with...
(Later, in Prep's room)
Goth: Just pull out, dude!
Jock: Ahh— okay, okay...
Goth: Slowly, yeah, that's it...
Prep: (barges in) Yo, what's going on in here???
(long beat)
Prep: Please play Jenga in your own room...
(Later, in Prep's room)
Goth: Just pull out, dude!
Jock: Ahh— okay, okay...
Goth: Slowly, yeah, that's it...
Prep: (barges in) Yo, what's going on in here???
(long beat)
Prep: Please play Jenga in your own room...
Squidward: Neptune, how much mayo did Patrick cram into this whoopee cushion!?
SpongeBob: Beats me; He was at it for an hour before giving me that balloon!
Squidward: Uh huh, right. Anywho, let's find a way inside...
SpongeBob: Beats me; He was at it for an hour before giving me that balloon!
Squidward: Uh huh, right. Anywho, let's find a way inside...
—The opening to Mrs. Puff's Boating School, Around the Clock at Bikini Bottom
Dorothy: Have you ever seen those movies or books where a couple does something like paint a picture or cook... but they make it sound like they're having sex?
Alma: Suggestive scenes, yeah.
Dorothy: Well, that whole thing was kinda like that for me.
Alma: Suggestive scenes, yeah.
Dorothy: Well, that whole thing was kinda like that for me.
— VA-11 HALL-A on hacking from a Robot Girl's perspective.
Miss Armitage: You're all the same. You're only after one thing.
Dr. Stoppidge: No, no, that's quite untrue, Miss Armitage. I only want to get you into bed.
"Well your ad didn' exactly 'elp, did it? 'Clogged up at work? Let nimble fingered Tracey ease the flow'."
— Sharon Theodopolopodous, Birds of a Feather, "Jobs for the Girls"
"Only a few in Eorzea have even heard the name [Yoshimitsu]. A few more know that old rhyme about the bloke what forged them. Mayhap ye are among them? No? Ah, well, it goes somethin' like this...
There once was a Far Eastern smitty
Well versed in makin' blades pretty
"Far thicker than most"
O' his dagger he'd boast
And its thrust was well-known in the city!
Well versed in makin' blades pretty
"Far thicker than most"
O' his dagger he'd boast
And its thrust was well-known in the city!
Hmmm... Might be the prick in that poem ain't the point o' no blade."
(many quest objectives later)
"They wrote a bit on the Yoshimitsu, enough that I know now what's wrong. Seems the rhyme about the smitty ain't about his member's thickness: The daggers themselves are too damned slim! See, the vamper's knives make a good host, an' what ye got now will slip 'twixt a man's ribs jus' fine. But Yoshimitsu were made o' folded steel what could pierce armor without shatterin' nor crumplin'. A thick blade─aye, that's what yer weapons are wantin' for."
(many quest objectives later)
"They wrote a bit on the Yoshimitsu, enough that I know now what's wrong. Seems the rhyme about the smitty ain't about his member's thickness: The daggers themselves are too damned slim! See, the vamper's knives make a good host, an' what ye got now will slip 'twixt a man's ribs jus' fine. But Yoshimitsu were made o' folded steel what could pierce armor without shatterin' nor crumplin'. A thick blade─aye, that's what yer weapons are wantin' for."
— Gerolt Blackthorn, Final Fantasy XIV
The first thing Seven of Nine realised when she came round was that someone was lying on top of her and moaning.
'I am lying on my back,' the ex-drone thought, analysing her circumstances with clinical efficiency. 'Lieutenant Torres is on top of me. The lights are out. I am wet.' With the aid of her cortical processor she added up these facts with lightening speed and extrapolated two possible explanations. She chose the second as most likely. "Lieutenant Torres. It appears there has been an accident with the turbolift."
'I am lying on my back,' the ex-drone thought, analysing her circumstances with clinical efficiency. 'Lieutenant Torres is on top of me. The lights are out. I am wet.' With the aid of her cortical processor she added up these facts with lightening speed and extrapolated two possible explanations. She chose the second as most likely. "Lieutenant Torres. It appears there has been an accident with the turbolift."
— Slippery, a Star Trek: Voyager Slash Fic
Advertising Lawyer: Jack, the lawyers are uncomfortable with the new advertising campaign.
Jack: Why? People love my bowls.
Advertising Lawyer: See, that right there? You can't say that.
Jack: I can't say "People love my bowls?"
Advertising Lawyer: No.
Jack: What about "Try my bowls?"
Advertising Lawyer: Nope.
Jack: "Check out my bowls?"
Advertising Lawyer: Absolutely not.
[Beat]
Jack: What about my billboard?
[pans to a billboard saying "Enjoy My Bowls."]
Advertising Lawyer: (sighs).
Jack: What?
Jack: Why? People love my bowls.
Advertising Lawyer: See, that right there? You can't say that.
Jack: I can't say "People love my bowls?"
Advertising Lawyer: No.
Jack: What about "Try my bowls?"
Advertising Lawyer: Nope.
Jack: "Check out my bowls?"
Advertising Lawyer: Absolutely not.
[Beat]
Jack: What about my billboard?
[pans to a billboard saying "Enjoy My Bowls."]
Advertising Lawyer: (sighs).
Jack: What?
Lydia: Pepper Ann, do you want breasts?
Pepper Ann: (covers her chest in horror) What!?
Lydia: I'm making chicken. Do you want breasts or thighs?
Pepper Ann: (covers her chest in horror) What!?
Lydia: I'm making chicken. Do you want breasts or thighs?
— Pepper Ann, "In Support Of"
Cliffjumper: Why in Primus' name is this guy named "Handjob"?
Optimus Prime: Because he works with his hands. (beat) He's a demolition expert, so his job is "hands-on". (beat) Handjob.
Cliffjumper: That is such a reach.
Optimus Prime: Well, then, why is your name "Cliffjumper"? You're not jumping off cliffs all the time!
Cliffjumper: That's— that's not what I'm talking about—
Optimus Prime: I've seen you drive on airstrips! Why don't we just call you "Stripper"?
Cliffjumper: Don't, don't, no, no, that— that makes no sense.
Optimus Prime: Not every name has to make sense. Sometimes, a name is just a name. And there's nothing wrong with Handjob. Instead of being all uppity, at least get to know the guy! He's a good soldier!
Cliffjumper: I'm— I'm sure he is!
Optimus Prime: Really has a grip on things.
Cliffjumper: (beat) Aw…
Optimus Prime: A firm grasp for close encounters.
Cliffjumper: You— you can't be this naive.
Optimus Prime: All I'm saying is, Handjob is a decent fellow and you might like him. You could use a Handjob in your life.
Cliffjumper: Please don't say that!
Optimus Prime: Because he works with his hands. (beat) He's a demolition expert, so his job is "hands-on". (beat) Handjob.
Cliffjumper: That is such a reach.
Optimus Prime: Well, then, why is your name "Cliffjumper"? You're not jumping off cliffs all the time!
Cliffjumper: That's— that's not what I'm talking about—
Optimus Prime: I've seen you drive on airstrips! Why don't we just call you "Stripper"?
Cliffjumper: Don't, don't, no, no, that— that makes no sense.
Optimus Prime: Not every name has to make sense. Sometimes, a name is just a name. And there's nothing wrong with Handjob. Instead of being all uppity, at least get to know the guy! He's a good soldier!
Cliffjumper: I'm— I'm sure he is!
Optimus Prime: Really has a grip on things.
Cliffjumper: (beat) Aw…
Optimus Prime: A firm grasp for close encounters.
Cliffjumper: You— you can't be this naive.
Optimus Prime: All I'm saying is, Handjob is a decent fellow and you might like him. You could use a Handjob in your life.
Cliffjumper: Please don't say that!
Mrs. Grubb: Jenny has led a very sheltered life and has had little or no experience of men.
Terry: Really?
Jenny: I have done it.
Terry: Pardon?
Jenny: Put it in.
Terry: Oh...
Jenny: The sugar.
Terry: Ah!
Amitie: But you two were acting strange...
Maguro: Hey, what were you so worked up about?
Amitie: I mean! you two were sharing a secret, so...!
Ringo: The solution has struck me. By "that", we were merely talking about Maguro's face.
Amitie: Eh? Face...?
Ringo: Is it not obvious? "That" naturally refers to his face. I can't rationalize anything else you could possibly come up with!
Amitie: Ehhh... too bad.
Maguro: Hey, what were you so worked up about?
Amitie: I mean! you two were sharing a secret, so...!
Ringo: The solution has struck me. By "that", we were merely talking about Maguro's face.
Amitie: Eh? Face...?
Ringo: Is it not obvious? "That" naturally refers to his face. I can't rationalize anything else you could possibly come up with!
Amitie: Ehhh... too bad.
