Anime
Sperm General: Heads up! The time's come to pound this out! Some of you guys couldn't hold on. Pathetic! Those squirts have been discharged prematurely! But you came through. You came quick, hard, in and out, over and over, strong! But we're not finished yet! Now, we must thrust forward! Stay on top of each other! Give a hand when needed and let's bring this thing to a climax!
Sperm Soldier #1: Hey. How's your journal entry diddling going?
Portschach: It's wet.
Sperm Soldier #2: I get it. Rub out a few thoughts before walking hard and fast into death.
Sperm Soldier #3: This is stimulating, you know. Going so deep into an operation like this.
Sperm Soldier #4: You know what I heard? No one's ever pulled out successfully before.
Sperm Soldier #1: It's true. Ask that old bastard. He's been around the block before.
Sperm Soldier #4: Apparently, he rode out the 4th Bartholin campaign and hasn't been the same since. Well, Gramps, you think we'll be able to squeeze one off?
Gramps: Need lube.
Sperm Soldier #1: Come again?
Gramps: Vas deferens. That's how you know.
Sperm Soldier #1: What? Your oral skills blow, old man.
Sperm Soldier #4: Give him a minute. He starts off slow, that's all.
Gramps: Beware the name General Scotty! We can't let him win! He must go down!
Sperm General: It's time, seamen! Get off! [the Sperm Soldiers leave the boat and some of them get killed] Stay strong! Incoming! Get on top of that mound! Fire your lode at will! Let's cream 'em, boys! [the soldiers run.]
Sperm Soldier #1: Hey. How's your journal entry diddling going?
Portschach: It's wet.
Sperm Soldier #2: I get it. Rub out a few thoughts before walking hard and fast into death.
Sperm Soldier #3: This is stimulating, you know. Going so deep into an operation like this.
Sperm Soldier #4: You know what I heard? No one's ever pulled out successfully before.
Sperm Soldier #1: It's true. Ask that old bastard. He's been around the block before.
Sperm Soldier #4: Apparently, he rode out the 4th Bartholin campaign and hasn't been the same since. Well, Gramps, you think we'll be able to squeeze one off?
Gramps: Need lube.
Sperm Soldier #1: Come again?
Gramps: Vas deferens. That's how you know.
Sperm Soldier #1: What? Your oral skills blow, old man.
Sperm Soldier #4: Give him a minute. He starts off slow, that's all.
Gramps: Beware the name General Scotty! We can't let him win! He must go down!
Sperm General: It's time, seamen! Get off! [the Sperm Soldiers leave the boat and some of them get killed] Stay strong! Incoming! Get on top of that mound! Fire your lode at will! Let's cream 'em, boys! [the soldiers run.]
—Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, "Pulp Addiction"
Audio Plays
The Doctor: All these plans, these events. You're getting your ducks in row! Even though some haven't hatched, and others are sitting in a pecourt orange sauce.
Petherbridge: Oh? Accusing me of "fowl" play, Doctor? But you're the one whose goose has been cooked!
The Doctor: Oh, forget the poultry puns, Petherbridge!
Petherbridge: Oh? Accusing me of "fowl" play, Doctor? But you're the one whose goose has been cooked!
The Doctor: Oh, forget the poultry puns, Petherbridge!
Comic Books
Excuse me, reader, but we will now pause to use all the bad tree puns and get them over with! I don't want to go out on a limb, but I would like to get to the root of Sally's problem! I'd be a sap if I decided to leaf! As forest that's concerned, I'll try to cedar thing through fir sure! If knot, I'll be pine-ing and weeping! I'd much rather take a bough! Oak-k? Cool! Now you can continue our adventure without having to read any more of those! Let's go...
—Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics), "What's the Point?"
Films — Animated
Jafar: Don't toy with me! (turns Abu into a wind-up Cymbal-Banging Monkey)
Aladdin: Abu!
Jafar: Things are unraveling fast now, boy! (unravels Carpet into a pile of thread;) Get the point? (drops a bunch of daggers in front of Aladdin) I'm just getting warmed up! (creates a Ring of Fire around Aladdin)
Aladdin: Abu!
Jafar: Things are unraveling fast now, boy! (unravels Carpet into a pile of thread;) Get the point? (drops a bunch of daggers in front of Aladdin) I'm just getting warmed up! (creates a Ring of Fire around Aladdin)
— Aladdin
Fiona: And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Farquaad, what's he like?
Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. (laughs)
Donkey: Oh, no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. (both laugh)
Fiona: Stop it! Stop it, both of you! You know, you're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.
Shrek: Yeah. Well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow.
Shrek: Yeah. Well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow.
Live-Action TV
"Bernie Sandwiches: a name everyone can get behind because he's not a member of the old boys' club. He fights the rich guys on behalf of the po'boys. Someone with a trusting open face and will surely win Florida by appealing to Cubans and... uh, this is a French dip, so, uh... he is au jus—ish candidate. Plus, he has a long history of supporting the LGBLT community. Sure, the Democratic establishment may have a beef with him now, because he's been reuben them the wrong way and I know it may sound hoagie, and he doesn't have it all wrapped up yet, but in times like these, his supporters believe we need a hero."
— Stephen Colbert after Chris Hayes flubs "Bernie Sanders." For bonus points, he produces a corresponding sandwich with each pun.
Theatre
Chimps are going ape, giraffes remain above it all,
Elephants remember, though just what I can't recall.
Crocodiles are snapping up fresh offers from the bank,
Showed interest in my nest egg, but I quickly said no thanks!
We haven't paid the hornbills, and the vultures have a hunch
Not everyone invited will be coming back from lunch!
The buffalo have got a beef about this season's grass,
Warthogs have been thwarted in attempts to save their gas.
Flamingoes in the pink and chasing secretary birds,
Saffron is this season's color, seen in all the herds.
Moving down the rank and file fo near the bottom rung,
Far too many beetles are quite frankly in the dung.
Elephants remember, though just what I can't recall.
Crocodiles are snapping up fresh offers from the bank,
Showed interest in my nest egg, but I quickly said no thanks!
We haven't paid the hornbills, and the vultures have a hunch
Not everyone invited will be coming back from lunch!
The buffalo have got a beef about this season's grass,
Warthogs have been thwarted in attempts to save their gas.
Flamingoes in the pink and chasing secretary birds,
Saffron is this season's color, seen in all the herds.
Moving down the rank and file fo near the bottom rung,
Far too many beetles are quite frankly in the dung.
—Zazu, "The Morning Report", The Lion King
Video Games
Oh boy, here come the puns (and they're all terrible)!
Notte (who is notte having with any of this), Dragalia Lost
"Donut stop! You knead to keep going!"
"Good. But doughn't start loafing around or things might go a rye."
"This guy's toast!"
— Marie throughout the fight against the Octo Oven, Splatoon 2
Prior nerfs were in response to feedback that Druids of the Claw were... overbearing... at Tier 3. They stopped mauling structures as badly, but their role became fuzzy with the preeminence of Mountain Giants. This is a small change — Night Elf has been doing well at a high level lately — but is intended to sweeten the honey pot when you decide to feed these beasts.
— Developer comments on balance changes to the Druid of the Claw (a Night Elf who turns into a bear), Warcraft III
Webcomics
Pinkie Pie: Haha! "Canterlot", "Mare in the Moon"... this is going to be PUN-tastic!
Rainbow Dash: Joy.
Rainbow Dash: Joy.
Feferi:
God.
Will you just clam up for once in your life?
Always carping and carping and carping!
You go completely overboard with your emotions, always looking to reel in drama wherever you can.
I am up to my gills in it! I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore.
Will you just clam up for once in your life?
Always carping and carping and carping!
You go completely overboard with your emotions, always looking to reel in drama wherever you can.
I am up to my gills in it! I just can't salmon the strength anemonemore.
Eridan:
i cannot
BELIEVE
you are doin the fish pun thing while youre breakin up with me
real nice
whoops i mean REEL nice
BELIEVE
you are doin the fish pun thing while youre breakin up with me
real nice
whoops i mean REEL nice
Web Animation
To YAGOO it may concern,
It has come to my attention that there is a knead for steed. Clearly the Sanallites have voiced their desire for horses. It saddles me that I am unable to provide for their demands alone. Thus we have worked hard on breading a horse proposal. To facilitate stable growth of Hololive and COVER Corp., please consider birthing our beautiful Neighbula.
We will not be horsed around
Sou Desu Neigh
Sanallites and Sana Tsukumo.
It has come to my attention that there is a knead for steed. Clearly the Sanallites have voiced their desire for horses. It saddles me that I am unable to provide for their demands alone. Thus we have worked hard on breading a horse proposal. To facilitate stable growth of Hololive and COVER Corp., please consider birthing our beautiful Neighbula.
We will not be horsed around
Sou Desu Neigh
Sanallites and Sana Tsukumo.
—Tsukumo Sana's letter to YAGOO in GIVE US OUR NEIGHBULA YAGOO
Web Videos
Host: Well, gentlemen, I have these words of wisdom for you... better not prograsstinate!
(Mow Puns: 1)
Host: Sir Lawnsalot. (2) Mow Marian (3)
Cody Jones: I like the mowmentum you got going on there. (4)
Host: Alright, Mr. Mow-It-All, (5) and you are...?
Cody: The Mowllenium Falcon. (6)
Host: You are...?
Cory Cotton: Mow-hawk. (7)
Host: The Lawn Ranger, (8) Sodzilla, (9) Turfinator... (10)
Garrett Hilbert: Chocolate mow-shake. (11)
Host: Sir?
Coby Cotton: My name is Weedy Gonzalez. (12)
Host: And you are...?
Tyler Toney: I am Mowhammad Ali. (13)
Host: Ace of Blades, (14) Mister Mowtato (15)
Garrett: Have you met all these people?
Host: I know 'em all intimately.
Garrett: I'm more of a slow-rollin' Mow-dozer. (16)
Host: Oh, look at that, that's mowdacious. (17)
(Mow Puns: 1)
Host: Sir Lawnsalot. (2) Mow Marian (3)
Cody Jones: I like the mowmentum you got going on there. (4)
Host: Alright, Mr. Mow-It-All, (5) and you are...?
Cody: The Mowllenium Falcon. (6)
Host: You are...?
Cory Cotton: Mow-hawk. (7)
Host: The Lawn Ranger, (8) Sodzilla, (9) Turfinator... (10)
Garrett Hilbert: Chocolate mow-shake. (11)
Host: Sir?
Coby Cotton: My name is Weedy Gonzalez. (12)
Host: And you are...?
Tyler Toney: I am Mowhammad Ali. (13)
Host: Ace of Blades, (14) Mister Mowtato (15)
Garrett: Have you met all these people?
Host: I know 'em all intimately.
Garrett: I'm more of a slow-rollin' Mow-dozer. (16)
Host: Oh, look at that, that's mowdacious. (17)
—Dude Perfect, Lawnmower Racing Battle
What is this Pig World? Oh its Hamalot... it's- it's Hamalot.
Good one Bubsy! Hey wanna be a cast member on Sat-PURR-day Night Live? I know you'll make the MEOOOWST of it! I BELIEVE IN YA, BUBSY!
Good one Bubsy! Hey wanna be a cast member on Sat-PURR-day Night Live? I know you'll make the MEOOOWST of it! I BELIEVE IN YA, BUBSY!
Trying to Duel with me, Alfred? You must be Psycho
I'll bring back Jaws and take a bite off your Lifeboat
I'm Always so on top of my game, I get the Vertigo
My jet is in The Terminal, waiting for me to Murder! ya!
I'll bring back Jaws and take a bite off your Lifeboat
I'm Always so on top of my game, I get the Vertigo
My jet is in The Terminal, waiting for me to Murder! ya!
Little tippy-tap kitty catalyst, now we have a list
And we’ll guess what every habit is
Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
You’ll be categorically catatonic
At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
And we’ll guess what every habit is
Wanna buy a cat flap? Cat food? Catchup? Catamaran?
You’ll be categorically catatonic
At the catalogue of categories I have at my hands
— Ad Infinitum, The Stupendium as Spamton G Spamton
Western Animation
(Patrick sprays Spongebob's hand with invisible spray)
Patrick: I gotta hand it to you, Spongebob. You look kinda funny.
Spongebob: Righty! Where are you? No one messes with Righty! We'll see how you like it!
(sprays Patrick in the middle of his torso)
Spongebob: Kind of give you an empty feeling, huh?
(Patrick sprays Spongebob's eye)
Patrick: Yeah, I see what you mean!
(Spongebob sprays Patrick's stomach, and then his crotch)
Spongebob: No guts, no glory!
Narrator: Several bad puns later...
Patrick: I gotta hand it to you, Spongebob. You look kinda funny.
Spongebob: Righty! Where are you? No one messes with Righty! We'll see how you like it!
(sprays Patrick in the middle of his torso)
Spongebob: Kind of give you an empty feeling, huh?
(Patrick sprays Spongebob's eye)
Patrick: Yeah, I see what you mean!
(Spongebob sprays Patrick's stomach, and then his crotch)
Spongebob: No guts, no glory!
Narrator: Several bad puns later...
Other
Topic title: "Two words: Dancing tanks."
StarSword: (posts this video)
Borgholio: Tanks for showing us this.
Flagg: You're a dead man.
Enigma: He's tanked as it is. I don't think he'll get the message. :)
GuppyShark: Tread carefully
Flagg: I'm sharpening my knives.
General Zod: So he oughta make tracks if he knows what's good for him?
Flagg: I'd kill you but you're already dead inside.
General Zod: You can't tank me that easily.
Flagg: It is you who have tanked yourself. When you moving again, bro? ("evil grin" smiley)
General Zod: Probably not for awhile, but this isn't about me. Why don't you tank two joints and call me in the morning?
Flagg: You're a sad sad man.
InsaneTD: It's ok, I can tank it.
Zaune: (ASCII drawing of Picard facepalm)
InsaneTD: You didn't sight that coming?
Borgholio: What the shell is going on with all these tank puns?
InsaneTD: Hull if I know.
LaCroix: That's a piercing question...
StarSword: (posts this video
) Borgholio: Tanks for showing us this.
Flagg: You're a dead man.
Enigma: He's tanked as it is. I don't think he'll get the message. :)
GuppyShark: Tread carefully
Flagg: I'm sharpening my knives.
General Zod: So he oughta make tracks if he knows what's good for him?
Flagg: I'd kill you but you're already dead inside.
General Zod: You can't tank me that easily.
Flagg: It is you who have tanked yourself. When you moving again, bro? ("evil grin" smiley)
General Zod: Probably not for awhile, but this isn't about me. Why don't you tank two joints and call me in the morning?
Flagg: You're a sad sad man.
InsaneTD: It's ok, I can tank it.
Zaune: (ASCII drawing of Picard facepalm)
InsaneTD: You didn't sight that coming?
Borgholio: What the shell is going on with all these tank puns?
InsaneTD: Hull if I know.
LaCroix: That's a piercing question...
— a thread on StarDestroyer.net
