Fan Works
Movies will tell you that hacking is all about facing off against another living soul in real-time, or some shit. Spitting out code like spells in a wizard’s duel, that kind of thing. Of course, real hacking is usually way more subdued and involves a lot less furious typing and a lot more fishing through trash cans for shredded account information… unless, of course, you’re on a Yeerk Pool Ship, and every Visser has their own factions with their own security codes and command prompts.
In that case it’s definitely a standoff at high noon with lightning-fast fingers in place of guns.
In that case it’s definitely a standoff at high noon with lightning-fast fingers in place of guns.
— Tom's narration, What Tomorrow Brings
Film — Live-Action
I can hack you back in time to Nazi Germany, like a time machine!
— Hackerman, Kung Fury
Live Action TV
What is hacking? ...I mean, I know in the movies there's usually a montage where they play really serious music - even though you're just watching somebody type really, really fast - and then it says like "server acquired" and then boom, something's hacked. Did it for the lulz, all that good stuff. I just don't know what happens during the typing part. Or even what the word "hacking" means exactly.
So as it turns out, the reason movies just show a montage, they do it that way, is because hacking is boring. I mean I could tell you about programming languages or how I got in touch with 3VERYWHERE, the hacker collective that schooled me in basics, but really? Wouldn't you just rather be watching some Vines of things blowing up instead?
So as it turns out, the reason movies just show a montage, they do it that way, is because hacking is boring. I mean I could tell you about programming languages or how I got in touch with 3VERYWHERE, the hacker collective that schooled me in basics, but really? Wouldn't you just rather be watching some Vines of things blowing up instead?
— Brain, Limitless
Newspapers
"The movie is well directed, written and acted, and while it is no doubt true that in real life no hacker could do what the characters in this movie do, it is no doubt equally true that what hackers can do would not make a very entertaining movie."
Video Games
"I hacked into the mainframe on your NookPhone and saw that you have a lot of NookPhoneCrannyIsland miles! ...Not really. I watched a movie where a bunch of guys hacked into mainframes. It sounds fun to say!"
— Possible dialogue from a Lazy villager, Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Web Comics
WHAT IS A HACKER EVEN? JUST SOME SMUG ASSHOLE IN MOVIES DOING FAKE THINGS AND MAKING UP WORDS.
— Karkat Vantas, Homestuck
Web Video
Grif: You should explain what's going on, and I could make an educated suggestion.
Simmons: 'Educated'...? Okay, fine. This computer is a dedicated interface with a highly developed security protocol. The information we are accessing is stored on a separate database with its own dedicated hardware. That system has its own distinct layer of security. From what I can tell, the two systems verify their identities by trading randomly generated 2056-bit encryption keys. I'm trying to spoof one of those keys now. So, I'm all ears, any suggestions?
Grif: Oh yeah, I've seen that before. You should try uploading a virus to the mainframe.
Simmons: Jesus!
Grif: I find that viruses which feature laughing skulls tend to work the best.
Simmons: Shut the fuck up and let me work!
PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF A PISSED-OFF NERD WITH ADMIN PRIVILEGES!!
— Kirito as he "Saves" his Daughter, Sword Art Online Abridged
BSOD: An error has occurred. Somehow the stupid monkey humans have hacked our OS despite it being literally alien to them.
One would think the technological gulf in computing power would make this impossible, but Hollywood doesn't know the first thing about real hacking despite them employing hack writers.
One would think the technological gulf in computing power would make this impossible, but Hollywood doesn't know the first thing about real hacking despite them employing hack writers.
— Terrible Writing Advice, "Alien Invasion"
"Augh! The virus! It's fighting back! It's digital chaos out there! All I'll need is a modem, a computer screen, and a bag of Doritos. Make sure it's Cool Ranch. Heard you were lookin' for a digital whiz-kid. I'm your man. There's a malfunction in the mainframe! I can't seem to crack it! With the power of the net, there ain't nothin' I can't handle. You remember the dot-com crash? Yeah, that was me. I got malware that'll make the Y2K bug look like a friendly caterpillar. You're askin' me to take a digital E code, encrypt it, turn it back, flip it and then reactivate the computer system? It's crazy. But I'm the man for the job."
Western Animation
Billy: Boy, hacker movies always make this stuff way more exciting.
Pete: Yeah, with the dramatic closeups and booming techno scores, real hacking is just... typing.
Billy: Throw me a bone dude, just turn to me dramatically and say "we're in".
Pete: We're in!
Pete: Yeah, with the dramatic closeups and booming techno scores, real hacking is just... typing.
Billy: Throw me a bone dude, just turn to me dramatically and say "we're in".
Pete: We're in!
— The Venture Brothers, "The Curse of the Haunted Problem"
