Unreasonable Customer: No it's listed in Diamond therefore you can order it! I need this note comic! You have to order it!
Sydney: Hang on, let me check with Joel about something. Hey Joel! Is murder still illegal?
Sydney: Hang on, let me check with Joel about something. Hey Joel! Is murder still illegal?
— here
Joel: Don't antagonize Sydney, Brad, she'll cut you. *shows scar on his stomach* See?
Customer: That's from an appendectomy!
Customer: That's from an appendectomy!
— here
Citizen: We could have gotten shot!
Maxima: Did you not see me catch the bullet? At no point were you in any danger.
Maxima: Did you not see me catch the bullet? At no point were you in any danger.
— here
Arianna: Leon, you didn't upload that from our IP did you?
Leon: *slowly turns to face her* Are you asking if I routed it through the traffic light system and bounced it off a dozen satellites? Would you like me to enhance the surveillance footage until we can see fingerprints! Quick, someone open a port before the CTU is hacked from within!
Arianna: Jesus Christ calm down geek, I was just asking.
Leon: *slowly turns to face her* Are you asking if I routed it through the traffic light system and bounced it off a dozen satellites? Would you like me to enhance the surveillance footage until we can see fingerprints! Quick, someone open a port before the CTU is hacked from within!
Arianna: Jesus Christ calm down geek, I was just asking.
— here
Maxima: And what if some yahoo with a concealed-carry decided to play hero?
Arianna: With you there? You could've disassembled his gun and done his taxes before he had it clear of the holster.
Arianna: With you there? You could've disassembled his gun and done his taxes before he had it clear of the holster.
— here
Sydney: KUNG-FU!! Wait, you're not a ninja.
Suzie: Um, were you expecting ninjas?
Sydney: Always. Expect. Ninjas.
Suzie: Um, were you expecting ninjas?
Sydney: Always. Expect. Ninjas.
— here
Sydney: Wow. This room isn't intimidating or anything.
Gwen: *gestures at the walls* Normally we find embarrassing photos of you online and print them up real big...
Gwen: *gestures at the walls* Normally we find embarrassing photos of you online and print them up real big...
— here
Sydney: It makes explodey beams. I probably shouldn't demonstrate it in here.
Arianna: We are both appreciative of and surprised by your restraint.
Arianna: We are both appreciative of and surprised by your restraint.
— here
Dabbler: She saw through it! That orb gives her the most powerful Truesight I've ever encountered. A Succubus Glamour is designed to be impenetrable!
Maxima: That's the only thing about a succubus designed to be impenetrable.
Harem: Me-yow.
— here
Dabbler: They're just doing their due diligence. Want to make sure I'm not a spy from...I guess one of your alien invasion movies?
Sydney: They're always after our water!
Dabbler: What sounds easier to you, invading a nuclear-armed planet, or mining ice from undefended, low-gravity comets?
Sydney: They're always after our water!
Dabbler: What sounds easier to you, invading a nuclear-armed planet, or mining ice from undefended, low-gravity comets?
— here
Maxima: I have to say, Sydney, you don't seem surprised by the existence of aliens, or that Dabbler is one.
Sydney: Says the giant golden superheroine.
Sydney: Says the giant golden superheroine.
— here
Sydney: Aren't you going to ask about these things?
Peggy: No need. I've learned that superheroes are like vegans.
Sydney: Uh... connect the dots for me.
Peggy: They can't wait to tell you about it.
Peggy: No need. I've learned that superheroes are like vegans.
Sydney: Uh... connect the dots for me.
Peggy: They can't wait to tell you about it.
— here
Sydney: Now we're cooking with evil gas!
— here
Maxima: By now most of you have seen the security and news footage and so you're familiar with Sydney's work at the bank. Well, it turns out she has superpowers. And is joining the team. I know what you're thinking...
Sydney: And you're right to be terrified!
Sydney: And you're right to be terrified!
— here
Maxima: Besides, you realize you just proclaimed invincibility and immediately challenged someone to a fight, right?
Sydney: *gasp* A guaranteed loss!
Sydney: *gasp* A guaranteed loss!
— here
Shower room poster: No, none of the guys have X-Ray Vision. Not that they'd need to wait for you to be in the shower to use it. Even if they did, you'd look like this: [actual X-ray image]
— here
Maxima: Eh, what's the worst that could happen?
Arianna: Are you serious?
X: The imagination boggles.
Maxima: I can't believe I said that with a straight face.
Arianna: Are you serious?
X: The imagination boggles.
Maxima: I can't believe I said that with a straight face.
— here
Maxima: What I said at the press conference about being the most powerful super wasn't a boast, Sydney, it was a warning.
Sydney: I can be smug to bad guys though, right?
Maxima: Oh absolutely. Impotent rage is as amusing as it is schadenfreude...ing.
Sydney: I can be smug to bad guys though, right?
Maxima: Oh absolutely. Impotent rage is as amusing as it is schadenfreude...ing.
— here
Maxima: Really? I thought my diva-like departure would have brought it to a close.
Dabbler: Sydney... I wouldn't say she upstaged you exactly, but she had a Sydney moment.
Dabbler: Sydney... I wouldn't say she upstaged you exactly, but she had a Sydney moment.
— here
Anvil: How did you get a cybernetic eye?
Dabbler: Same way I got my cybernetic hand.
Anvil: Which is?
Dabbler: I'm... not as skilled a swordfighter as I like to think.
Dabbler: Same way I got my cybernetic hand.
Anvil: Which is?
Dabbler: I'm... not as skilled a swordfighter as I like to think.
— here
Maxima: If you do have to shoot at someone, before you fire... look behind them. Assume you will miss them and hit that. Reposition yourself so that the worst possible outcome is that you will hit a drainage ditch or an empty parking lot.
— here
Gwen: Ten bucks says Maxima smashes the table.
Harem: Twenty.
Gwen: That's not—you have to bet against me!
Harem: I am. When she smashes that table you owe me ten bucks.
Harem: Twenty.
Gwen: That's not—you have to bet against me!
Harem: I am. When she smashes that table you owe me ten bucks.
— here
For Whom the Death Tolls: That's my name!
Sydney: Okay first off, no, that's dumb, and second, we have a PR department and you don't, so if we want to call you the Periwinkle Butt Sniffer then that's how the public will know you.
Sydney: Okay first off, no, that's dumb, and second, we have a PR department and you don't, so if we want to call you the Periwinkle Butt Sniffer then that's how the public will know you.
— here
Maxima: Still conscious? Impressive. *Slasher Smile* And unfortunate.
— here
Sydney: This had better be your final form! I have stuff to do later!
— here
Sydney: It's your choice. Have a nice nap, i.e. yin... or whatever horrible yang thing Maxima has planned. [...] One choice sets a terrible precedent. The other? Eh, maybe we'll see you again for an annual.
— here
Achilles: Finally out and ready to save the day!... Ah, I see in anticipation of my arrival the bad guys allowed themselves to be savagely beaten instead of face me. All in a day's work. You're welcome team!
— here
Sydney: At the very least they need to teach me when I can or can't arrest people, otherwise I'd be slapping the cuffs on anyone who bugged me. There aren't enough jails in the world.
Reporter: Halo, can you comment on your aggressive imprisonment--
Sydney: That's just a joke, morons! See, that guy would totally go to Sydney Jail, which proves why the training is important.
Reporter: Halo, can you comment on your aggressive imprisonment--
Sydney: That's just a joke, morons! See, that guy would totally go to Sydney Jail, which proves why the training is important.
— here
Peggy: Close your eyes and think of every TV show and movie you've ever seen with guns in it.
Sydney: Uh... okay...
Peggy: Really visualize your favorite fight scenes, all that action hero stuff. Got it?
Sydney: Yeah, have you ever seen Equilibrium? That Gun Kata...
Peggy: *bangs on Sydney's forehead* OUT FOUL DEMONS!!
Sydney: Uh... okay...
Peggy: Really visualize your favorite fight scenes, all that action hero stuff. Got it?
Sydney: Yeah, have you ever seen Equilibrium? That Gun Kata...
Peggy: *bangs on Sydney's forehead* OUT FOUL DEMONS!!
— here
Arianna: Some highlights include our local Suzie Wen calling Maxima "The Goddess of Ash"
Maxima: She gets an exclusive interview.
Arianna: Other nicknames appear in the full report. I won't tell you what they are in an attempt to get you to actually read it.
Maxima: She gets an exclusive interview.
Arianna: Other nicknames appear in the full report. I won't tell you what they are in an attempt to get you to actually read it.
— here
Arianna: Does anyone have any good recipes they'd like to share on morning news programs?
Sydney: I make a mean weapons grade spaghetti sauce! It involves peppers that are red, but are not red peppers.
Arianna: That may not be the best -
Maxima: Hands up everyone who wants to see Kelly Rippa burn her face off on Sydney's cooking?
Sydney: I make a mean weapons grade spaghetti sauce! It involves peppers that are red, but are not red peppers.
Arianna: That may not be the best -
Maxima: Hands up everyone who wants to see Kelly Rippa burn her face off on Sydney's cooking?
— here
Sydney: I thought dire wolves were extinct.
Gregor: Dire wolves, yes. Dire werewolves, still kicking it.
Gregor: Dire wolves, yes. Dire werewolves, still kicking it.
— here
Sciona is obviously good at long term planning, but there are simply some scenarios no one is going to predict, like an obtrusive billionaire and his squad of femme fatales showing up in the middle of your heist.
— here
Sydney: You went ham so he needs ham?
Parfait: And how!
Parfait: And how!
— here
