"Welcome to Estalia, gentlemen. I will not lie: the chances of your survival are small. Some may even turn against your friends as living corpses. But you have my word, that I will use my arcane gifts to ensure your bodies are given unto Morr's garden. This is the greatest reward, more than even gold, for the fate of your soul is an eternal concern. Now come, follow me: Strike down the undead that rise against us, allow me to find this eldritch amulet! I ask not for my own selfish studies, but for the good of the Empire!"
Sid and Peasants: We will march and we'll fight
For the cause of good and right!
Sid: Though the odds of us surviving
Are ridiculously slight.
Sid and Peasants: And we'll stand proud and tall
Sid: 'Till they come to kill us all!
Then we'll beg and plead and soil ourselves
As one by one we fall.
Some they'll slash, some they'll hack,
Some they'll bludgeon blue and black,
Some they'll gut from top to bottom,
Some they'll mangle front to back.
And we'll all realize
As they're gouging out our eyes
That tomorrow we'll regret it
But today we rise!
For the cause of good and right!
Sid: Though the odds of us surviving
Are ridiculously slight.
Sid and Peasants: And we'll stand proud and tall
Sid: 'Till they come to kill us all!
Then we'll beg and plead and soil ourselves
As one by one we fall.
Some they'll slash, some they'll hack,
Some they'll bludgeon blue and black,
Some they'll gut from top to bottom,
Some they'll mangle front to back.
And we'll all realize
As they're gouging out our eyes
That tomorrow we'll regret it
But today we rise!
"Today, we will face the greatest battle in human history. Your children's children's children will ask you if you were there and you can say, "Yes I was. I fought the good fight."
"In a few hours, Zombie-Alien-Vampires will rain from the sky. They will probably severely injure and maim each and every one of you. In fact, if you live to tell this tale, you probably won't be doing a lot of gestering with your hands. I understand that's what these creatures go after first. That and the eyes. At best, you'll come out of this completely blind. And the horrors of what you see today will be burned into your memories, forever. But we're gonna make it! ...Except for this guy. And let's be honest, the old people. ...and this lady. No way. Gross. (points to a man with hooks for hands) But this guy is gonna be fine!"
"I mean, we are Americans! We may suffer from unemployment, a broken education system, obesity. Not to mention this nation's debt, which is not my fault by the way. You remember that at the next election, 'Jim Day All The Way!'"
"Now let's show the universe that we are not going to take this lying down. As a predecessor of mine once said, 'we have nothing to fear, but fear itself.' And by we, I am pointedly excluding that woman, and the aforementioned old people."
"And just to be clear, if any aliens are listening right now, I was on your side the entire time and I would love to lead you."
—Studio C, "Battlefield Pep Talk"
Elan: We'll stand her together and tell our enemies that they may take our lives... but they will never take our freedom!
(Soldiers cheer)
Elan: Unless... unless they kill us, then animate our dead corpses to fight for them. The I suppose they’ve taken our lives, AND our freedom.
(Horrified soldiers stare at Elan)
Elan: Fight, fight, fight, fight the—
Soldier: You suck!
Minstrel: Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, Oh brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken!
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowls unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off,
And his penis—
Robin: That's, that's uh, enough music for now lads!
He was not afraid to die, Oh brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken!
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowls unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off,
And his penis—
Robin: That's, that's uh, enough music for now lads!
We’ve had time to gather, and that means we have just a few more minutes to prepare and brief for Leviathan’s arrival, instead of jumping straight into the fray as we arrive. With this advantage, some luck, teamwork and hard effort from everyone, I hold out hope that this could be one of the good days. But you should know your chances going in. Given the statistics from our previous encounters with this beast, a ‘good day’ still means that one in four of the people in this room will probably be dead before this day is done.
— Legend, Worm
Battle-brothers! Space Marines, today the enemy is at our door! We know our duty and we will do it! We fight for our honor, as Blood Ravens, as Space Marines, and we fight in the name of the Emperor! And if we die this day, we die in glory! We die hero's deaths! But we shall not die, no, it is the enemy who will taste death and defeat!
—Brother-Captain Boreale's pre-battle speech, Dawn of War: Soulstorm
Frasier: Every time my reunion comes around, it coincides with a severe downturn in my life. Five years ago Lilith divorced me; five years before that I was left at the altar; five years before that I fell face first into the poison ivy! And here we are right on schedule, I'm freshly fired!
Niles: Frasier, you are a man of science. You know curses don't exist. There's a perfectly rational explanation for all of this. You tripped and fell into the poison ivy; your radio station changed formats; your wife didn't love you—
Frasier: If this is a pep talk, would you kindly segue to the peppy part?!
Niles: Frasier, you are a man of science. You know curses don't exist. There's a perfectly rational explanation for all of this. You tripped and fell into the poison ivy; your radio station changed formats; your wife didn't love you—
Frasier: If this is a pep talk, would you kindly segue to the peppy part?!
Calvin: Here we are, poised on the precipice of "Suicide Slope." Below us lie the skeletal remains of hundreds of little sled riders. Searching for that ultimate adrenalin rush, we prepare to hurl ourselves over the brink! What fate awaits us? (turns to Hobbes) Ready?
Hobbes: No.
Calvin: Life and death hang in the balance! A fraction of a second and one wrong turn are all that separate them!
Hobbes: This isn't helping.
Hobbes: No.
Calvin: Life and death hang in the balance! A fraction of a second and one wrong turn are all that separate them!
Hobbes: This isn't helping.
[Minutes before polling opens on election day]
Lou: Well, it's about time you did your thing. Thank the troops. You did realise you were going to have to do that, right?
Josh: Right. Uh, hey, everyone, gather round.
[They do so. Josh inexplicably stands on a swivel chair; it begins to turn, forcing him to have to right himself]
Josh: I didn't know most of you before last January, and... wow. It's been a long eleven months. I hope you've all learned a lot. I know that I learned a few things from you. [Increasingly irate] For instance, I didn't know that I would need to explain that we don't do shout-outs during radio interviews and we don't encourage our college buddies to hurl expletives at our opponent! Who was responsible for that thing in Dubuque, anyway? Who was it?!
[An uncomfortable Beat]
Lou: Dave.
Josh: Dave! Dave, Dave, Dave! Take a bow!
Ronni: You fired him.
[Another uncomfortable Beat]
Josh: Well... wherever you are, thanks for the lesson. Um... uh, it's... a special day. A high point in your young, impressionable lives. So go. Take a few minutes to enjoy it... and then, call your family and friends and make sure they voted. [Beginning to get a bit intense] Actually, ask them about the lines at their polling precincts so we know if our "Get Out The Vote" is working, they can report any harassment, anything weird, if it's snowing, they can tell you that.
[Another uncomfortable but this time somewhat more annoyed and incredulous Beat]
Josh: I'm serious. Call 'em.
[Everyone begins to disperse, somewhat sullen and unenthused]
Josh: Good group.
Lou: Yeah. You might want to work the phrase "Thank you" in there somewhere.
Josh: Thank you! [No one pays attention]
Lou: Well, it's about time you did your thing. Thank the troops. You did realise you were going to have to do that, right?
Josh: Right. Uh, hey, everyone, gather round.
[They do so. Josh inexplicably stands on a swivel chair; it begins to turn, forcing him to have to right himself]
Josh: I didn't know most of you before last January, and... wow. It's been a long eleven months. I hope you've all learned a lot. I know that I learned a few things from you. [Increasingly irate] For instance, I didn't know that I would need to explain that we don't do shout-outs during radio interviews and we don't encourage our college buddies to hurl expletives at our opponent! Who was responsible for that thing in Dubuque, anyway? Who was it?!
[An uncomfortable Beat]
Lou: Dave.
Josh: Dave! Dave, Dave, Dave! Take a bow!
Ronni: You fired him.
[Another uncomfortable Beat]
Josh: Well... wherever you are, thanks for the lesson. Um... uh, it's... a special day. A high point in your young, impressionable lives. So go. Take a few minutes to enjoy it... and then, call your family and friends and make sure they voted. [Beginning to get a bit intense] Actually, ask them about the lines at their polling precincts so we know if our "Get Out The Vote" is working, they can report any harassment, anything weird, if it's snowing, they can tell you that.
[Another uncomfortable but this time somewhat more annoyed and incredulous Beat]
Josh: I'm serious. Call 'em.
[Everyone begins to disperse, somewhat sullen and unenthused]
Josh: Good group.
Lou: Yeah. You might want to work the phrase "Thank you" in there somewhere.
Josh: Thank you! [No one pays attention]
—The West Wing, "Election Day Pt 1"
Vegeta: All right, Frieza's just over this next formation. Now, before we move in, we need a plan. So here it is: all of you will attack from the front, and while you're being slaughtered, I'll flank him, taking him from behind and securing the kill! Ready? Break!
Piccolo: No.
Tien: Yeah, no.
Piccolo: No.
Tien: Yeah, no.
—Dragon Ball Z Abridged, "Cold Cuts"
