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Fan Works
He unscrews the bottle filled with ebony and a sulfuric fragrance and chugged a pint down, quite a number of droplets spilt messily on the counter.
"Want some?" He offers.
The Engineer did not answer as his gaze was currently on the droplets as they reduced a saucer to a dark sludge.
He then looked to the Chemist and declined through an awkward tone of linguistics, "No thanks; I'd rather not be blind and pissing purple for the next few weeks."
"Want some?" He offers.
The Engineer did not answer as his gaze was currently on the droplets as they reduced a saucer to a dark sludge.
He then looked to the Chemist and declined through an awkward tone of linguistics, "No thanks; I'd rather not be blind and pissing purple for the next few weeks."
I pick up the martini glass and sip it slowly. The cocktail, made by some insane bartender on the homeworld, is damned good but like its name says it hits like a hammer.
— Captain Kanril Eleya (regarding the "Hathon hammer"), Bait and Switch
Films — Live-Action
"Ugh! Christ! Where'd you get that from? Polish flamethrower?"
— Marshal Zhukov, The Death of Stalin
Maître Folace: Problem is, the ordinary fare got hijacked by the kids. What do we do? Do we go for the weird stuff?... This won't make anyone younger. [he pulls out a bottle]
Raoul Volfoni: Good, we're saved.
Maître Folace: Saved... we'll see!
Jean: Hey, did you pull out the vitriol?
Paul Volfoni: Why are you saying that?
Maître Folace: Well.
Paul Volfoni: Looks honest enough, though.
Monsieur Fernand: Without being frankly dishonest, at first glance, like that, it... looks a bit weird.
Maître Folace: It's from the Mexican's time, during the golden age... We had to stop making it, though, some clients were getting blind. Ah, this was causing no end of troubles!
[they prudently drink]
Raoul Volfoni: Gotta say... it's brutal!
Paul Volfoni: [tears in his eyes] You were right, it's the weird stuff, huh?
Monsieur Fernand: I've known a Polish woman who drank this for breakfast. [drinks, winces] Still, you gotta admit: it's rather a men's drink... [he coughs]
Raoul Volfoni: Good, we're saved.
Maître Folace: Saved... we'll see!
Jean: Hey, did you pull out the vitriol?
Paul Volfoni: Why are you saying that?
Maître Folace: Well.
Paul Volfoni: Looks honest enough, though.
Monsieur Fernand: Without being frankly dishonest, at first glance, like that, it... looks a bit weird.
Maître Folace: It's from the Mexican's time, during the golden age... We had to stop making it, though, some clients were getting blind. Ah, this was causing no end of troubles!
[they prudently drink]
Raoul Volfoni: Gotta say... it's brutal!
Paul Volfoni: [tears in his eyes] You were right, it's the weird stuff, huh?
Monsieur Fernand: I've known a Polish woman who drank this for breakfast. [drinks, winces] Still, you gotta admit: it's rather a men's drink... [he coughs]
Call: [chokes] Shit Johnner, what'd you put in this, battery acid?
Johnner: Just a little. For colour.
Johnner: Just a little. For colour.
LCDR. Worf: [holding his head and groaning] Romulan ale should be illegal.
LCDR. Geordi La Forge: [matter-of-factly] It is.
LCDR. Geordi La Forge: [matter-of-factly] It is.
Stan Lee: I gotta have some of that!
Thor: Oh, nonono. See, this... this was aged for a thousand years, the barrels built from the wreck of Brunhilde's fleet. It is not meant for mortal men.
Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie. Stop trying to scare us. Come on.
Thor: All right.
[Thor pours Stan a shot, cut to an incredibly drunk Stan being dragged off by two men; behind him, another veteran is lying unconscious across the counter, and another seems to be petrified standing]
Stan Lee: Exshellsior...
Thor: Oh, nonono. See, this... this was aged for a thousand years, the barrels built from the wreck of Brunhilde's fleet. It is not meant for mortal men.
Stan Lee: Neither was Omaha Beach, blondie. Stop trying to scare us. Come on.
Thor: All right.
[Thor pours Stan a shot, cut to an incredibly drunk Stan being dragged off by two men; behind him, another veteran is lying unconscious across the counter, and another seems to be petrified standing]
Stan Lee: Exshellsior...
[Abby and Speer are sharing a drink from a bottle of illegal booze labelled Furniture Polish]
Addy: Wow! This really is furniture polish!
Lt. Speer: Shocking what Prohibition causes some people to drink these days.
Addy: Wow! This really is furniture polish!
Lt. Speer: Shocking what Prohibition causes some people to drink these days.
— City Heat (1984)
Literature
"Scumble's made of apples. Well, mostly apples."
"We call it dragon's milk. If you drink enough it's possible to set your breath in fire."
— Lt. Nauk, A Practical Guide to Evil
"I put my drink down. A little of it spilt on the counter, and I watched it strip the paint."
— The Case of Four and Twenty Blackbirds, by Neil Gaiman
Phaic Tanese wine certainly has a long way to go and even their more expensive grandes cuvees could benefit from cellaring — preferably in a sealed concrete bunker. My advice is to stick with the local rice wine, which is similar to sake except for its colour (blue) and has a taste which could be described as "full-bodied, with a subtle hint of ethanol."
— Jonathan Quibble, Phaic Tan: Sunstroke on a Shoestring
"It's not often you see wine with a head on it."
Now listen, ang moh. Listen. Forget everything you've learned about getting drunk. That bottle of Chivas cut with bottles of cheap Coke might get you there, but Graveyards are a one-way ticket on the fast train to Knockoutville. A trifecta of whiskeys, triple sec, equal amounts of rum, vodka, gin and tequila. Mix with beer and stout. Consume. You won't know what hit you.
Actually, you will. Because unless you've lived a truly unfortunate life, chances are that first sip will be the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth.
Actually, you will. Because unless you've lived a truly unfortunate life, chances are that first sip will be the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth.
— Food of the Gods by Cassandra Khaw
BRANDY, n.
A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the- grave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. Brandy is said by Dr. Johnson to be the drink of heroes. Only a hero will venture to drink it.
Lister took a tiny, medicine-sized sip of the stuff and watched her devour hers and pour herself another. He remembered thinking everything was going to plan when suddenly he grimaced; his stomach felt as if there were a skipping pig inside of it - a quite common reaction to those unaccustomed to Kinitawowi moonshine. The tent started to rotate like a crazed merry-go-round, while everything in it crash-zoomed in and out of focus and then his eyelids hammered shut like slamming vault doors and he pole-axed backwards onto his wedding bed.
Kinitawowi moonshine was strong. It was rumoured that once you were drunk o it, you could stay drunk for weeks, sometimes even months. To Lister's way of thinking, this explained much of his subsequent behaviour over the next few weeks.
Kinitawowi moonshine was strong. It was rumoured that once you were drunk o it, you could stay drunk for weeks, sometimes even months. To Lister's way of thinking, this explained much of his subsequent behaviour over the next few weeks.
— Red Dwarf: Last Human
[There was] a thick glass bottle of the clear fluid from her complicated still out behind the woodshed. It wasn't exactly whisky, and it wasn't exactly gin, but it was exactly 90° proof, and a great comfort during those worrying moments that sometimes occurred around 3 a.m. when you woke up and forgot who you were. After a glass of the clear liquid you still didn't remember who you were, but that was all right now because you were someone else anyway.
Live-Action TV
Richie: What's in this?!
Eddie: Brandy...
Richie: Good!
Eddie: ...meths, Pernod, paintstripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie!
Richie: Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!
Eddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?
Richie: [taking a whiff] Jesus! How are you alive?
Eddie: I may very well not be!
Eddie: Brandy...
Richie: Good!
Eddie: ...meths, Pernod, paintstripper, Mr. Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie!
Richie: Drambuie?! Oooh hoo-hoo ooooh!
Eddie: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. You've gotta put something in for the birds, haven't you?
Richie: [taking a whiff] Jesus! How are you alive?
Eddie: I may very well not be!
— Bottom, "Hole"
"Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE. This is not a wine for drinking. This is a wine for laying down and avoiding."
— Monty Python's Flying Circus, "Australian Table Wines"
April: Ugh, what's in that jug, it smells like jet fuel!
Ron: That's Swanson family mash liquor, made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil. Its only legal use is to strip varnish off of speedboats.
Ron: [sees Leslie prepare to chug] Leslie, no! We use it to burn warts off the mules!
Ron: That's Swanson family mash liquor, made from the finest corn ever grown on American soil. Its only legal use is to strip varnish off of speedboats.
Ron: [sees Leslie prepare to chug] Leslie, no! We use it to burn warts off the mules!
"Swish is this old, dirty, shitty-tastin' homemade fuckin' liquor that you can... ugh, you can barely get 'er into ya, but... my fuck, does it ever get ya some drunk."
— Bubbles, Trailer Park Boys
Freya: We brew the Atuta into a broth which we drink before battle. It brings on the spirit of the bear and gives us strength to swing our swords.
EMH: It's more likely to bring on profuse sweating, convulsions and acute delirium! This is an amanita muscaria, a fungus common to sub-arctic climates and, let me assure you, quite poisonous.
Freya: Yes, but those it does not kill it makes strong. A most hardy plant.
EMH: It's more likely to bring on profuse sweating, convulsions and acute delirium! This is an amanita muscaria, a fungus common to sub-arctic climates and, let me assure you, quite poisonous.
Freya: Yes, but those it does not kill it makes strong. A most hardy plant.
— Star Trek: Voyager, "Heroes And Demons"
Radio
The effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is something akin to having one's brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.
— Official Guide entry, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (1978)
Video Games
Likely dropped to avoid seizure by authorities, or because of seizure due to drinking it. Garbolg only brewed from 8:74 to 8:92 Blessed, killed when the vapors in his beard spontaneously combusted.
— Description of "Garbolg's Backcountry Reserve", Dragon Age: Origins
This battlefield spirit maintains a chill even in direct sunlight, which it appears to absorb. Optimal serving is by the drop. Contact with exposed flesh is discouraged, but likely inevitable.
— Description of "Golden Scythe 4:90 Black," Dragon Age: Origins
Fine spirits infused with a bit of refined lyrium. Potentially fatal if ingested in quantity.
— Description of "Aqua Magus", Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening
Not so much filtered as dredged. Should be kept in a cold, dark place. Also locked. Forgotten as well, if one is wise.
— Description of "Abyssal Peach", Dragon Age: Inquisition
Perhaps local to a handful of Grey Wardens companies, these spirits reflect a custom—or legend—born of utility. Allowed to seize goods to aid their cause, Wardens combine half-full bottles to save space while traveling. Never fully emptied or—as with a kettle—cleaned, each eventually takes on a base flavor as unique as the Warden carrying it. "What do we care? Nothing burns like the first cup." Could be fact, could be tribute. It does seem as though the bottles range farther than the namesake Warden could.
— Codex Entry for "Grey Whiskey/Ritewine/Conscription Ale", Dragon Age: Inquisition
*BELCH* "Not bad."
— Oghren (after drinking from a cup containing, among other things, lyrium and darkspawn and archdemon blood), Dragon Age: Origins – Awakening
Ratch: Ryncol's a local favorite. Don't try to act tough; it'll tear your insides apart.
Grunt: He's not joking. Ryncol hits aliens like ground glass.
Grunt: He's not joking. Ryncol hits aliens like ground glass.
Bartender: Okay — for you, something special. This is krogan liquor — ryncol. You'll set off radiological alarms after you drink it. Should I pour you a quad?
Shepard: Hell yeah! Put more stuff in the... the thing more stuff goes in.
Bartender: Your funeral, pal/sister.
Shepard: Hell yeah! Put more stuff in the... the thing more stuff goes in.
Bartender: Your funeral, pal/sister.
Garrus: Excuse me, can you tell me where the bartender keeps the hard stuff? Like say, turian horosk?
Guard: I'm sorry, sir, but we aim to entertain our guests, not put them in a coma.
Guard: I'm sorry, sir, but we aim to entertain our guests, not put them in a coma.
Shepard: I'm curious; what's the craziest thing you've ever served up?
Bartender: Well, there's the burukh. That's a krogan drink you set on fire, put out, then drink from the scalding-hot cup. [...] There's a "Weeping Heart." That's a martini with drell-skin venom. The venom's pretty mild, though. [...] Oh, wait — a volus bina. The alcohol puts you on the floor, and the ammonia lets you clean up the mess you made. If you live.
Bartender: Well, there's the burukh. That's a krogan drink you set on fire, put out, then drink from the scalding-hot cup. [...] There's a "Weeping Heart." That's a martini with drell-skin venom. The venom's pretty mild, though. [...] Oh, wait — a volus bina. The alcohol puts you on the floor, and the ammonia lets you clean up the mess you made. If you live.
— Mass Effect 3, showing that the only safe drink in the Mass Effect franchise is probably water.
SAM: Kadara's water is dense with sulfide minerals, the oxidation of which produces toxic streams and lakes.
Ryder: So, no skinny dipping?
SAM: No dipping at all, Pathfinder. Even the Nomad's shields cannot withstand the water's corrosive properties.
[...]
Drack: I bet I could drink it.
Lexi: No, Drack. No.
Ryder: So, no skinny dipping?
SAM: No dipping at all, Pathfinder. Even the Nomad's shields cannot withstand the water's corrosive properties.
[...]
Drack: I bet I could drink it.
Lexi: No, Drack. No.
— Mass Effect: Andromeda, …goddammit.
Guybrush: What's in that grog stuff, anyway?
The Three Important-Looking Pirates: Grog is a secret mixture that contains one or more of the following: Kerosene, Propylene Glycerol, Artificial Sweeteners, Sulphuric Acid, Rum, Acetone, Red Dye No. 2, SCUMM, Axle Grease, Battery Acid, and/or Pepperoni.
The Three Important-Looking Pirates: Grog is a secret mixture that contains one or more of the following: Kerosene, Propylene Glycerol, Artificial Sweeteners, Sulphuric Acid, Rum, Acetone, Red Dye No. 2, SCUMM, Axle Grease, Battery Acid, and/or Pepperoni.
"It's not actually beer, cap'n," a zailor confides. "It's eel-blood fermented with zee-fungus, or somefin'. I didn't hear the whole account. I was too busy throwin' up."
— Shore Leave in the Chelonate, Sunless Sea
"Might as well skip straight to the hangover. Blackout Stout!"
— The dwarves ordering at the Abyss Bar, Deep Rock Galactic
Sara: It's Spirytus. Liquor from North Ambria. Said to be the strongest drink in the world. Guess it's harder to get much stronger than 96 percent, though, huh?
Rean: If I'd taken a normal sip of this, I'd already be on the floor... But the stinging on my tongue is turning a little sweet...
Rean: If I'd taken a normal sip of this, I'd already be on the floor... But the stinging on my tongue is turning a little sweet...
Aloy: [coughing fit] What is this?!
Gera: Scrappersap, the good stuff. Keeps you warm in a snowstorm, strips the grit out of a gearwheel.
Gera: Scrappersap, the good stuff. Keeps you warm in a snowstorm, strips the grit out of a gearwheel.
Italian criminal #1: He's wasted on red wine!
Italian criminal #4: Red-wine drunk is the worst drunk there is!
Italian criminal #2: Let's get the fuck out of here!
Italian criminal #4: Red-wine drunk is the worst drunk there is!
Italian criminal #2: Let's get the fuck out of here!
Web Animation
Fyodor: What are these beverages made of?
Leman Russ: This is my attempt at remaking the good ol' recipe for Fenresian Ale by combining Bylestim and the distilled liver-juices of a Bloodthirster!
Fyodor: ...Are you telling us to literally drink liquid chaos?
Leman Russ: YES YA BLEEDIN' SOUPHEAD, DRINK THE WOLFIN' CHAOS!
Leman Russ: This is my attempt at remaking the good ol' recipe for Fenresian Ale by combining Bylestim and the distilled liver-juices of a Bloodthirster!
Fyodor: ...Are you telling us to literally drink liquid chaos?
Leman Russ: YES YA BLEEDIN' SOUPHEAD, DRINK THE WOLFIN' CHAOS!
Webcomics
Schlock: I'm not sick, I'm digesting. I need to neutralize this solvent so it'll stop trying to eat a hole in me.
Legs: Eat or be eaten, eh?
Schlock: Yeah, I guess you could look at it that— *BURRRP*
Legs: (suddenly tipsy) Frankly, my dear, it's full of stars...
Schlock: MEDIC!
Legs: I see dead people!
Schlock: HAZMAT!
Legs: Eat or be eaten, eh?
Schlock: Yeah, I guess you could look at it that— *BURRRP*
Legs: (suddenly tipsy) Frankly, my dear, it's full of stars...
Schlock: MEDIC!
Legs: I see dead people!
Schlock: HAZMAT!
Web Videos
Larry King: [coughs after a sip] Oh boy, start of the ruination.
Jon: [imitating Larry King] I-I'm dying, I'm dying, Dan. You've killed me, it's over. I wish you had put glycol in this, because I can feel my bones melting.
Jon: [imitating Larry King] I-I'm dying, I'm dying, Dan. You've killed me, it's over. I wish you had put glycol in this, because I can feel my bones melting.
— Jontron: Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Skull Vodka
Websites
916: I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
845: Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
603: you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
615: The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
615: UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD.
845: Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
603: you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
615: The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
615: UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD.
Western Animation
"'Flaming' this, 'blend and brew' that, whatever happened to the manly drinks? The kind that made you go blind, puke 'till you dropped, and wake up three days later married to the daughter of some overprotective father who'd pay you to get it annulled?"
— Duckman, Duckman, "Cellar Beware"
