Quotes / Football Hooligans

"What began as a traditional soccer riot has escalated into a city-wide orgy of destruction!"

— Kent Brockman, The Simpsons

"An integral phrase of our fight song (Hail Victory!) translates to Sieg Heil in German, which was kind of a favorite phrase of that Hitler guy you all might have heard of."

—"Why Your Team Sucks 2014!: Washington Redskins"

These are the worst fans in America. And I don’t mean they are disloyal or dispassionate. I mean that, as PEOPLE, they are the worst fans in America. State any obvious fact about the Raiders—like the fact that they are bad at football—and you can expect them to go completely overboard in seeking redress. Like so …

YOU: Jack Del Rio? That seems kinda uninspired.
RAIDER FAN: (stabs you)

—Drew Magary

"The population in every city has for a long been divided into two groups, the Greens and the Blues [...] The members [of each faction] fight with their opponents not knowing for what reason they risk their lives, but realizing full well that even when they vanquish their opponents in brawls, they will be carted off to prison [...] there arises in them an endless and unreasoning hatred against their fellow men, respecting neither marriage nor kinship nor bonds of friendship, even if those who support different colors might be brothers or some other kind of relatives. Neither human nor divine affairs matter to them compared to winning these [street] fights."

— Procopius of Cesarea, a 6th Century Byzantine historian proving some things are way older than football

"Pass the fucking ball!"

—Adam Sandler, Gay Robot.

"What is the problem with those Team Yell goons? I can understand wanting to cheer someone on, but they cause so much trouble in the process! Hardly a decent way for fans to behave."

—Random passerby Trainer on Route 5, Pokémon Sword and Shield

"The Philadelphia fans are some of the most vocal and, at times, most violent."

— Jerry Lawler, The Rise and Fall of ECW

"Whenever people ask me if I like football from now on, I say, 'Yes, I do like football. But not Burnley. Burnley can fuck off'."

— Will McKenzie, The Inbetweeners

"Jojo sets out for a nearby town that Dio's taken over to kill his evil brother once and for all, but first he's gotta take out a zombified army of the worst, most violent people Dio could find in London — presumably football fans, and also Jack the Ripper."

— Mother's Basement, Jojos Bizarre Adventure Part 5 Primer - Anime Cheat Sheet

"Getting beaten up by football hooligans is like having VD—the fucking pain goes on forever... but that's what makes it so exciting."

— Tommy Johnson, The Football Factory

Man: Tie game?!
Woman: What the Hell?
Abe Simpson: Ripoff!
Hans Moleman: We paid for bloooood!
Chief Wiggum: Let's tear this place apart!
(they do. The stadium instantly starts falling apart and bursting into flames)

—The Simpsons, "Lisa on Ice"

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