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Anime and Manga
Fuegoleon: For a childish reason like that, you've... You fool!! Don't toy with me!!
Rades: Childish...?! That's the thing about reasons. They're always simple, y'know?!
Rades: Childish...?! That's the thing about reasons. They're always simple, y'know?!
Maou: I suppose I could have asked my manager at work to help us out first.
Ashiya: We can't annoy your boss with such trifles.
Emi: So you annoy me instead!?
Maou: Well duh, causing trouble for heroes is the whole point of being a devil.
Ashiya: We can't annoy your boss with such trifles.
Emi: So you annoy me instead!?
Maou: Well duh, causing trouble for heroes is the whole point of being a devil.
Saitama: Oh, come on! You're really gonna kill this kid over some harmless little prank? Doesn't that seem kinda harsh?
Crablante: [laughs] Whatever. I've killed people for a lot less. Whoever makes fun of the way I look pays the price. No exceptions!
Crablante: [laughs] Whatever. I've killed people for a lot less. Whoever makes fun of the way I look pays the price. No exceptions!
Blogs
It can be difficult to ascertain the full social context of any given scene in the Mostly Featureless Lockhorns Void, but it really seems like nobody else is as this "party" and that Leroy went to the trouble of getting party hats and a cake just to give Loretta this cruel card. I like that he's stepped a few feet away from her as she reads it, to be sure that he's fully out of her emotional penumbra as the message really hits home.
Card Games
In addition to killing peasants, punishing subordinates, and raising an army of nightmares, Braids somehow found time for her favorite hobby: petty extortion.
Comic Books
Joker: I needed everyone to truly believe you were dead. So I wished for an exact replica of you... but dead. It was really quite amazing. It just appeared. A dream come true.
Riddler: B-b-but why? You could have had anything. We could become rich beyond our imaginations. Or kings. You could have wished we were gods. But instead you looked me in a freezer and tricked everyone into thinking I was dead. Why?!
Joker: You remember that night at the fight when you told me about the box? You said that we do the same thing really, because jokes are just riddles for stupid people.
Riddler: That's it?! You threw away your chance to rule the world to get revenge because I hurt your feelings?
Riddler: B-b-but why? You could have had anything. We could become rich beyond our imaginations. Or kings. You could have wished we were gods. But instead you looked me in a freezer and tricked everyone into thinking I was dead. Why?!
Joker: You remember that night at the fight when you told me about the box? You said that we do the same thing really, because jokes are just riddles for stupid people.
Riddler: That's it?! You threw away your chance to rule the world to get revenge because I hurt your feelings?
"Superman! We're contacting you mentally through the Phantom Zone viewer! We could tell you who has replaced you... But squirm, baby! Squirm!"
— Kryptonian criminal Jax-Ur, The Leper from Krypton
"You know, I still can't believe the Germans would do something as evil as shoot down a plane filled with Camel Cigarettes."
— Kowalski, The Ultimates (2002)
Fan Works
Real temptation, real redemption, the truest test of the human will, Crowley knew, was not in the heart of the gibbering serial killer or the pious king, but waged in the soul of the man in his front yard, eyeing his neighbour's throat while gripping his garden shears and thinking if that dog of his gets into the begonias one more time...
Film — Animation
Why go to the baker, stand in line / Just use a freeze gun, it saves me time. / I'm havin' a bad, bad day / It's about time that I get my way...
— "Despicable Me" song, Despicable Me
Elastigirl: But it doesn't bother you that an innocent man's in jail?
Screenslaver: Eh, he was surly. And the pizza was cold.
Screenslaver: Eh, he was surly. And the pizza was cold.
"I'm evil, I fill your Cheetos with weevils, I poop on people and blame it on seagulls."
— Nigel, Rio
Film — Live-Action
"TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD!"
— Patrick Bateman after killing Paul Allen, American Psycho
"When the clock runs out, Ethan Hunt will lose everything and everyone he ever cared about."
— Solomon Lane, Mission: Impossible – Fallout
Amon Goeth: Shoot her.
Foreman: Herr Kommandant! I'm only trying to do my job!
Goeth: Ja, I'm doing mine.
Hujar: Sir, she's foreman of construction.
Goeth: I'm not going to have arguments with these people — no, shoot her here, on my authority.
[foreman is shot]
Goeth: Take it down, repour it, rebuild it, like she said.
Foreman: Herr Kommandant! I'm only trying to do my job!
Goeth: Ja, I'm doing mine.
Hujar: Sir, she's foreman of construction.
Goeth: I'm not going to have arguments with these people — no, shoot her here, on my authority.
[foreman is shot]
Goeth: Take it down, repour it, rebuild it, like she said.
[Jimmy walks past with a coffee cup, Luthor swipes it]
Jimmy: Hey! That's for the chief!
Lex: Chief's got it. [drinks]
Jimmy: Hey! That's for the chief!
Lex: Chief's got it. [drinks]
Literature
The Unman: Ransom?
Ransom: What?
The Unman: Nothing. Hey.
Ransom: What?
The Unman: Ransom?
Ransom: What?
The Unman: Nothing. Hey.
Ransom: What?
The Unman: Ransom?
— Perelandra (he does this all night)
"I'll be honest, Chancellor — revenge is the motivation for over half the decrees I've made."
— Dread Empress Sanguinia II, best known for outlawing cats and being taller than her, A Practical Guide to Evil
Live-Action TV
"What are a few lives lost when it allows you validated parking?"
— Dr. Isiah, Bullet in the Face, "Angel of Death"
"You'd delay an execution to pull the wings off a fly."
— The Doctor to the Master, Doctor Who, "The Deadly Assassin"
Barry Allen: Wh-Why did [Reverse-Flash] kill Nora Allen?
Gideon: Because he was angry.
Barry Allen: About what!?
Gideon: That you escaped.
Gideon: Because he was angry.
Barry Allen: About what!?
Gideon: That you escaped.
"And what did he find, this conqueror of the Germans, this victor of the mighty Neptune? The streets empty of crowds and flowers, no triumphs rewarded, no games, no celebrations — but three miserable, old, ex-counsels waiting at the gates to meet him, and a room full of cowardly, stay-at-home senators who have spent all their time in the theatre and in the baths, while he has spent six months, living no better than a private soldier!? Yes! Your emperor has returned! BUT WITH THIS IN HIS HAND!" [produces a frighteningly large battle sword from his robe]
— Caligula, I, Claudius
Jessica: Don't listen to Kilgrave, don't talk to him.
Jeri: Right, because he will mind-control me.
Jessica: No, because he's an asshole.
Jeri: Right, because he will mind-control me.
Jessica: No, because he's an asshole.
"So, I get to get my hands on a big sparkly diamond, destroy the city of Corinth and ruin Ranger Yellow's wedding all at once? Oh I'm so totally there."
— Tenaya 7, Power Rangers RPM
"It works like this, John: I know who Mary hurt and killed. I know where to find people who hate her. I know where they live, I know their phone numbers. All in my Mind Palace -– all of it. I could phone them right now and tear your whole life down — and I will... unless you let me flick your face."
— Charles Augustus Magnussen, Sherlock, "His Last Vow"
"The last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me, and I'll tell you why. Lucifer might be strong, but I'm... petty."
— Zachariah (an Angel), Supernatural
"Now, I'm a certain sort of evil. Not "death camp" evil, not "serial killer" evil. But I take a perverse pleasure in being paid through the nose for nothing of any value. That is my dream, and I'm not gonna let it die!"
— The Our Slogan Is Terrible Marketing Guru, That Mitchell and Webb Look
Cigarette Smoking Man: What I don't want to see is the Bills winning the Super Bowl. As long as I'm alive, that doesn't happen.
Jones: That'll be tough, sir. Buffalo wants it bad.
C.S.M.: So did the Soviets in '80.
Jones: What are you saying? You rigged the Olympic hockey game?
C.S.M.: What's the matter? Don't you believe in miracles?
Jones: That'll be tough, sir. Buffalo wants it bad.
C.S.M.: So did the Soviets in '80.
Jones: What are you saying? You rigged the Olympic hockey game?
C.S.M.: What's the matter? Don't you believe in miracles?
Music
And as funny as it may seem,
Some people get their kicks
Stompin' on a dream
Some people get their kicks
Stompin' on a dream
— Marion Montgomery, "That's Life"
Video Games
"We've loaned your father a lot of money. It may have been a hundred thousand dollars or more... Well, I guess it really could have been less."
— Aloysius Minch, EarthBound (1994)
"Listen, I need you to buy some property, OK? Shouldn't cost that much: You offer them a dollar. If they give you a hard time, kill them."
— Mike Toreno, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (CJ gives them eighty grand and doesn't kill them)
"Two mad-dog killers, ready to murder each other! They step into the next room, and I'm thinking, now they're gonna do it. But no: They sit down in front of a TV, and solve their differences with a kung fu fighting video game. I tell you, Candy, I was so depressed, I strangled them both with the video game cables."
— Rico Muerte, Max Payne
"All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file. 'Unlikable; liked by no one; a bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.' Shall. Not. Be Mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."
— GLaDOS, Portal
"Is it inappropriate to refer to him as a monster? No, not at all. What kind of person stays alive for hundreds of years with the express intention of wiping out a rival's family line?"
— Sly Cooper on Clockwerk, Sly 2: Band of Thieves
"Get up here, grab a gift, the Devil's a little busy here. I got to go rig an election with Quebec. A local election, but you know, I'm the Devil! I've got to sweat the small stuff."
— The Bombinomicon, Team Fortress 2
Web Animation
"At first, I thought Adam was 'justice', then I thought he was 'passion'. But over time, I realized I was wrong. He wasn't any of those things. He was 'spite'. Not 'hatred', not 'rage', 'spite'. He won't accept equality, only suffering for what he feels the world did to him, and his way of thinking is dangerously contagious."
— Blake Belladonna on Adam Taurus, RWBY
"Say you are given a quest to get a schoolgirl's cat out of a tree. On average you are given three options: Neutral, where you get the cat down and accept the girl's allowance as payment; Good, where you waive the fee and fondly tousle the girl's hair as she scampers off; and ASSHOLE, where you set fire to the tree and stomp up and down on the schoolgirl's face. And speaking as an asshole, this offends me. There are so many wonderful ways to be a complete ponce that these games don't cater for. Why can't I rescue the cat, but hold it for ransom for her dad's porn collection? Or get the cat out by throwing rocks at it so it breaks all its legs on the concrete, and then still expect to be paid with the infuriatingly infallible logic of a complete tosser?"
Webcomics
AG: Do you have any idea how inconvenient this is? Do you have any sympathy for what I'm dealing with here?
AT: uHH,
AG: You're so inconsider8. You just sit there looking smug. It's infuri8ing to look at you.
AG: You haven't even thanked me! Or apologized for that matter!!!!!!!!
AG: uHHHHHHHH THANKS VRISKA, fOR sAVING UHH MY LIFE,
AG: uMMMMM IT SURE WAS 8RAVE AND HEROIC AND PRETTY OF YOU,
AG: aLSO uMMM dUHHH,,,, uMMM,,, i AM SORRY FROM THE 8OTTOM OF MY NOOK,,,,,,,,,,
AG: Seriously, how hard would that have 8een?
AT: oKAY,
AT: tHANKS, i GUESS,
AT: bUT,
AT: sORRY FOR WHAT,
AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass!
AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE,
AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED,
AG: Yes.
AG: Say you're sorry.
AT: uHH,
AG: You're so inconsider8. You just sit there looking smug. It's infuri8ing to look at you.
AG: You haven't even thanked me! Or apologized for that matter!!!!!!!!
AG: uHHHHHHHH THANKS VRISKA, fOR sAVING UHH MY LIFE,
AG: uMMMMM IT SURE WAS 8RAVE AND HEROIC AND PRETTY OF YOU,
AG: aLSO uMMM dUHHH,,,, uMMM,,, i AM SORRY FROM THE 8OTTOM OF MY NOOK,,,,,,,,,,
AG: Seriously, how hard would that have 8een?
AT: oKAY,
AT: tHANKS, i GUESS,
AT: bUT,
AT: sORRY FOR WHAT,
AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass!
AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE,
AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED,
AG: Yes.
AG: Say you're sorry.
Gabe: I did punch a baby once, in anger. In my defense, the baby was being kind of a dick.
Tycho: Yeah, I don't know what that baby's problem was.
Tycho: Yeah, I don't know what that baby's problem was.
Web Original
"With the Well Manicured Man out of the picture (thank goodness I will never have to type out that name again — even something as simple as 'Bob' would have sufficed), the Smoking Man is back on top and running the show again. Only he would deem it appropriate to suck down on a cigarette in the middle of a vital surgical procedure. The man is a menace to public safety, in more ways than one."
"That is, after all, the only way to justify the briefing he gives to the mobsters explaining Operation: Grand Slam, save for the fact that the script needed to outline his plan to the audience. He kills all the gangsters anyway, but it seems a rather inefficient way of relaying information. However, it makes perfect sense for his character, who desperately wants to prove his own superiority, and to boast about all his fancy possessions. "I did enjoy your briefing," Bond comments. Goldfinger responds. "So did I." And, in the end, it seems that's all that matters to Goldfinger."
— Darren Mooney
on Goldfinger
on Goldfinger"There is a vague promise of getting in good with the dirty captain and whatnot but what it boils down to is a pair of playoff tickets. Yup, playoff tickets. I was absolutely laughing my ass off [when] the Sergeant takes back the playoff tickets since he won't be using them stuck in I.A. It's like, not only is this guy evil, but he is a Lumberg from Office Space type douchebag who will take back gifts. What an asshole."
— Miles Antwiler on Dirty (2005)
Dirty (2005)David: That's how much of a dick Burke is: he will trick you into compromising your religious beliefs just to screw with you.
Chris: That might actually be his most villainous moment, because it accomplishes absolutely nothing. He just wants that dude to eat a hot dog. It's pure evil for evil's sake.
Chris: That might actually be his most villainous moment, because it accomplishes absolutely nothing. He just wants that dude to eat a hot dog. It's pure evil for evil's sake.
"Almost as soon as I leave the house, I'm 'Excuse me mate-d from a car window. The shirtless man at the wheel asks me for directions, a thing which, traditionally I'm very bad at.
'Yeah, up there. Straight up there. Just keep going straight, and you can't miss it.'
'Thanks, mate,' says the man, thinking that he's lucked out by a) already being on the right path, and b) bumping in to such a gushing fountain of local wisdom. He can't miss it! Even if he tries. This scorching, ninety-degree summer day shall no more be wasted crawling through the back-roads of Sussex in a boiling metal box, peering at street-signs that have been childishly defaced, as this kindly stranger has guaranteed a safe, fast journey to destination's end.
This flawless system of instant, confident sounding, directionless directions has never steered me wrong (unlike those suckers behind the wheel!), and it's the perfect crime. You could be luring them to the other end of town, or to the slippery banks of the county urine lake, and it doesn't matter a jot, because you're never going to see these lost and confused out-of-towners again. Never. There's no recriminations from bad directions. Ever."
'Yeah, up there. Straight up there. Just keep going straight, and you can't miss it.'
'Thanks, mate,' says the man, thinking that he's lucked out by a) already being on the right path, and b) bumping in to such a gushing fountain of local wisdom. He can't miss it! Even if he tries. This scorching, ninety-degree summer day shall no more be wasted crawling through the back-roads of Sussex in a boiling metal box, peering at street-signs that have been childishly defaced, as this kindly stranger has guaranteed a safe, fast journey to destination's end.
This flawless system of instant, confident sounding, directionless directions has never steered me wrong (unlike those suckers behind the wheel!), and it's the perfect crime. You could be luring them to the other end of town, or to the slippery banks of the county urine lake, and it doesn't matter a jot, because you're never going to see these lost and confused out-of-towners again. Never. There's no recriminations from bad directions. Ever."
"I mean, he's wholly and unapologetically evil, but more to the point, he's kind of a dick."
— Rich Burlew on Xykon
Web Videos
"LaCroix turns Nick's dog into a vampire to teach him a lesson? W-Why?"
"Earlier this month I was at a red light, ready to turn right, but stopped, causing the driver behind me to honk repeatedly. However, while it's legal to turn right on red, it's generally not advisable when the road is wet and there's a tractor trailer approaching. Apparently, though, the man behind me felt that we were not just two drivers on the road, no... somehow we were joined on an unspoken suicide pact that I was thoughtlessly reneging on.
When the truck passed, I went on my way, followed by the other driver who, ignoring the wet pavement, ran another red light and — unconcerned about little things like the presence of other vehicles on the road — sped up to pull alongside me and repeatedly honked his horn to get my attention for quite a long time, until finally I gave in and looked at him so he could flip me off and be on his way.
And that was all.
This cro-magnon felt that it wasn't enough to just flip me off; he was prepared to risk himself and others just to make sure I knew he was doing it. He couldn't handle me not knowing it, whereas I am quite unbothered that he'll never know that I'm saying that he's a phallically-challenged maladjusted uncivilized moronic social cripple whose only possible contribution for society would be if someone created an engine that could run on 'loser.'"
When the truck passed, I went on my way, followed by the other driver who, ignoring the wet pavement, ran another red light and — unconcerned about little things like the presence of other vehicles on the road — sped up to pull alongside me and repeatedly honked his horn to get my attention for quite a long time, until finally I gave in and looked at him so he could flip me off and be on his way.
And that was all.
This cro-magnon felt that it wasn't enough to just flip me off; he was prepared to risk himself and others just to make sure I knew he was doing it. He couldn't handle me not knowing it, whereas I am quite unbothered that he'll never know that I'm saying that he's a phallically-challenged maladjusted uncivilized moronic social cripple whose only possible contribution for society would be if someone created an engine that could run on 'loser.'"
"He didn't stick around to kill Bob, he just broke his gun and drank all of his fluid; because in this movie, Jason's a dick!"
"In this chapter, due to Lila getting so close to Adrien socially and physically, [Marinette] decides to humiliate Lila, and expose her lies in front of Adrien. And that is the only cause for Lila's evillness. Don't take this the wrong way; I understand that Lila would be discomposed, for what Ladybug did. But my point is, this is literally the only elucidation to why Lila is a bad person. It's all because she lost her chance to be with her crush, which was caused by Ladybug."
— Cyrus the Great on Lila Rossi, "Why Lila Rossi is The BEST CHARACTER in Miraculous Ladybug | Video Essay"
""Hehuhuh, hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you, I'm keeping the stocks! That's right, you ugly little girl! I hate you, and your stupid nose! I'm taking everything from you, give me your phone!"
— Eggman, Real-Time Fandub, "Sonic Adventure 2 (Hero Story)"
Eggman: You can stand by me, Doctor Eggman, even though my body used to be a regular shape!
Shadow: Yeah, well no. You're fat. [beat] Lol. Get rekt you fat scrub man. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.
Eggman: What!? You are not allowed to fuck my wife!
[Shadow walks away without saying a word]
Eggman: Shadow! Come back here right now! Shadow! What the fuck!?
Shadow: Yeah, well no. You're fat. [beat] Lol. Get rekt you fat scrub man. I'm gonna go fuck your wife now.
Eggman: What!? You are not allowed to fuck my wife!
[Shadow walks away without saying a word]
Eggman: Shadow! Come back here right now! Shadow! What the fuck!?
Frieza: You don't know how to use a computer! You can't email!
Eggman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? I MADE THE IMAC, I MADE THE IPHONE!
Frieza: YOU MADE THE IPHONE!? I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
Eggman: NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST!
Eggman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? I MADE THE IMAC, I MADE THE IPHONE!
Frieza: YOU MADE THE IPHONE!? I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
Eggman: NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST!
— Lythero, featuring the Real-Time Fandub voice of Eggman, Alfred Coleman
"Why is Infinite the way he is? Why is he such a big brute? Why is he so powerful? Why does he have this vengeful mindset? Well, it's because Shadow called him weak."
"What the hell? They actually break stuff for her to pick up? [Beat] That's not evil; that's Tourette's syndrome. Come on, you gotta have some logic!"
"Remember when you were making out with your first girlfriend and you came right as she touched your leg? It was me, Barry. I jerked you off at super-speed so it seemed like you nutted at just a woman's touch!"
— Reverse-Flash, It was me Barry! (Reverse Flash hate boner)
Western Animation
Klaus: You're really gonna kill five people over $20?!
Roger: Are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed six people over $19?
Klaus: ...Oh, yeah.
Roger: Are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed six people over $19?
Klaus: ...Oh, yeah.
Batman: Give it up, Fugate. Hill committed no crime against you.
Temple Fugate: He did worse. He made me late!
Temple Fugate: He did worse. He made me late!
Batman: You've hit a new low, Joker. Only you would ruin three lives for a silly piece of tin.
The Joker: You're dumber than you look, Bats. It's not the trophy that matters, it's the title! I am the greatest clown this dismal burg has ever seen!
The Joker: You're dumber than you look, Bats. It's not the trophy that matters, it's the title! I am the greatest clown this dismal burg has ever seen!
"Hmm. I suppose, given my imminent godhood, these primitives should really be beneath my attention. Ah, still. No score is too small to settle, I always say."
— Megatron, Beast Wars, "Nemesis, Part 2"
"Lies and fibs, cheats and steals!
My treacherous villainy makes me squeal!
I never tip, I butt in line,
I never clean the dishes and it suits me fine!
I'm so pleased, I'm such a sleaze!
This bad guy thing's a breeze!"
My treacherous villainy makes me squeal!
I never tip, I butt in line,
I never clean the dishes and it suits me fine!
I'm so pleased, I'm such a sleaze!
This bad guy thing's a breeze!"
— King K. Rool, Donkey Kong Country
Look at this loser,
Drinking coffee.
[Beat]
Now it's decaf!
Drinking coffee.
[Beat]
Now it's decaf!
— Bill Cipher, Gravity Falls, "It's Gonna Get Weird (Cut Song)"
Dr. Polaris: [Ahem]
The Flash (as Luthor): ...What?
Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
"Lex Luthor": No! ... 'Cuz I'm evil.
The Flash (as Luthor): ...What?
Dr. Polaris: You gonna wash your hands?
"Lex Luthor": No! ... 'Cuz I'm evil.
"Seems like the only thing you're really good at is dreaming up new ways to commit petty villainy."
— Professor Venomous to Lord Boxman, OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes, "Boxman Crashes"
"You are about to witness a truly petty act of vengeance, Perry the Platypus, brought on by my own mindless jealously!"
— Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Phineas and Ferb, "Tree to Get Ready"
Rigby: WHAT?! You turned me into a house and killed all my friends just to throw eggs at me?! That's IT??!
Wizard: Yep, that's it.
Wizard: Yep, that's it.
Bart Simpson: You coward! You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish.
Mr. Burns: Oh, am I? [aims his gun at Bart]
"Grandpa" Abe Simpson: No! Look, take the art if you want, just don't hurt the boy.
Burns: Hmm... I'd rather do both.
[Burns kicks Bart in the crate, which falls in the sea]
Mr. Burns: Oh, am I? [aims his gun at Bart]
"Grandpa" Abe Simpson: No! Look, take the art if you want, just don't hurt the boy.
Burns: Hmm... I'd rather do both.
[Burns kicks Bart in the crate, which falls in the sea]
Dr. Eggman: I've devised a complicated plan of attack that will create chaos beyond the scope of anything Sonic could ever handle. They will write poems and sing songs of how I triumphed over that blue bumpkin.
Cubot: So, what is this complicated plan of chaos?
Dr. Eggman: I'm going to attack him when he leaves Meh Burger and make him late for his deliveries.
[Orbot and Cubot both blankly stare at him, unimpressed]
Cubot: So, what is this complicated plan of chaos?
Dr. Eggman: I'm going to attack him when he leaves Meh Burger and make him late for his deliveries.
[Orbot and Cubot both blankly stare at him, unimpressed]
Real Life
"Narcissists are usually hurtful only when threatened. And Machiavellians are too calculating to risk retaliation unless there is a lot on the line. Sadists may be unique in engaging in unprovoked cruelty — cruelty that takes effort and has no discernible benefits."
— Wray Halbert, "Everyday Sadism — Throwing Light On the Dark Triad"
"I swear, that Kim Jong-un trick is such an overdramatic spoiled baby bitch. He is King Joffrey on steroids. I can't believe his ass lips would get twisted over some stupid movie starring James Franco and Seth Rogen. If that made him have a hissy fit and threaten to nuke us, then I hope he never sees Team America. Can't Dennis Rodman just whisper, 'Baby, don't be mad, call off your dogs for your honey,' into Kim Jong-un's ear as they spoon?"
— Michael K., "Sony Officially Kills The Interview"
, "Sony Officially Kills The Interview""The saga of Ocean Marketing began with a guy named Dave contacting Ocean Marketing about his order of two Avenger game controllers. He began a correspondence with company representative Paul Christoforo, who, over the course of four emails, went from unhelpful dumbass to legendary dick. Paul's response to reasonable questions was telling a customer that he was going to keep the things he bought and sell them for inflated prices on eBay. You should also keep in mind that these controllers are specialized for disabled gamers, and Paul had to know that there was a very likely chance that he was threatening to steal from a handicapped person."
"Ruining the life of a single British war hero by spreading rumors may seem awfully petty for a guy of grand evil like Hitler, but hey — that's why he was Hitler. He always took time to screw the little guy."
"This is, to my mind, the amazing thing about Theodore Beale. It is not just that he is a frothing fascist, but that he believes that the best possible thing he can do with his magical genetic access to Divine Truth is to try to disrupt the Hugo Awards."
— El Sandifer on HugoGate
on HugoGate"Owner Dan Snyder had a park ranger fired, and somehow that's the least grotesque thing he did. He was also caught giving out apples for holiday bonuses... Forget about the whole nickname debate. Dan Snyder is never going to change the nickname, because fighting against the dirty liberal media is the only way that sad, lonely man will ever be able to make friends. The only way he renames the team is if he gets a new stadium in exchange, because it's just like Dan Snyder to defend his integrity and then offer it as a bargaining chip."
— Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Washington Redskins"
He was a hard man who really wanted to win, all the time. He wanted to win at chess. It's well known that in chess when you touch a piece, you've got to move it. That's in the rules. But Ceausescu would touch a piece and see that it was a bad move and say, "No, no, wait, wait. I haven't thought long enough."
— Gheorghe Apostol, as quoted in The Life and Evil Times of Nicolae Ceausescu
I played a film clip of Nixon in his vice presidential days. The soundtrack is missing, so it is a silent movie. An official banquet of some sort. Nixon remembers to smile the way people do. A waiter approaches him with a large, sticky-looking dessert. At that moment, Nixon leans over to speak to his partner on the left, frustrating the waiter's effort to serve him. The waiter moves on. Nixon sits back; realizes that his dessert has been given to the man on his right. He waves to the waiter, who does not see him. Now the Nixon face is beginning to resemble that of the third English king of his name. Eyes — yes, mere slits — dart first left, then right. Coast is clear. Ruthless Plantagenet king, using his fork as a broadsword, scoops up half the dessert on the neighbor's plate and dumps it on his own. As he takes the first taste of the dessert, there is a radiance in his eyes that I have never seen before or since. Nixon is happy. Pie in the sky on the plate at last.
— Gore Vidal eulogizes Richard Nixon
"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."
Evil is unspectacular and always human
And shares our bed and eats at our own table.
And shares our bed and eats at our own table.
