"Every woman's husband, and every man's wife."
— Popular Roman epithet for Julius Caesar
"His physique is so magnificently shaped that men as well as women become disconnected at the sight of him."
— Vincent Canby's description of Joe Dallesandro
"So, basically, everyone in this office is sexually attracted to Curtis — man or woman."
Chris: I'd say that they should've just cast John Glover as Lex since he's so good at being an absolutely evil bastard, but that would require them to cut that magnificent head of hair, and that's a step I'm not willing to take.
David: I agree completely. Oh God, I love John Glover's hair. It's as captivating as Erica Durance. I want to swim in its waves.
Chris: I want to make a nest in it and feel safe and warm, like a baby bird.
David: I agree completely. Oh God, I love John Glover's hair. It's as captivating as Erica Durance. I want to swim in its waves.
Chris: I want to make a nest in it and feel safe and warm, like a baby bird.
Vince closes the show by promising a (pre-taped) match from Hulk Hogan on the show next week. "Never has 300 pounds looked as good as it looks on *sigh* the 6'8" frame…"
I swear to you, Vince just sighed and swooned talking about Hulk’s muscley physique.
Their next show should be broadcast from a bath house in San Francisco.
I swear to you, Vince just sighed and swooned talking about Hulk’s muscley physique.
Their next show should be broadcast from a bath house in San Francisco.
"Why can't there be more girls like him?"
— Hiroshi, Ranma ½ (though for a reason different from others)
Danni: I love The Fugitive. Who would you rather sleep with, Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford?
J.D.: [overhearing] Harrison Ford, hands down — but you were probably talking to Carla. I'm having such a gay day.
Carla: "Day"?
J.D.: [overhearing] Harrison Ford, hands down — but you were probably talking to Carla. I'm having such a gay day.
Carla: "Day"?
— Scrubs
"God, I'd go gay for that voice."
"...this is the only character [in Independence Day] who doesn't suck. Not because of the writing or anything, but because it's fucking Will Smith. The King of Cool. He can make anything sound awesome. He's like the most charming man alive. I don't even know what it is, there's just something about... him."
— The Nostalgia Critic (again) on Will Smith.
"Why do all the girls like Sasuke so much? Maybe it's his gorgeous eyes? Or his full, pouting lips? Or his sexy, emotionless voice? Come to think of it, why do I like Sasuke so much?"
"We have the hottest boyfriends in school, they're so hot they make boys drool."
— Miriam, from the Miriam and Shoshana video on YouTube
"It's not men, it's just... him."
— Ianto Jones discussing Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood: Children of Earth
"I have been told I could make straight men see rainbows."
Wayne: I loved Marky Mark in this, especially with his shirt off, I thought he was super sexy.
Garth: ...what?
Wayne: ...sorry, that was an inside thought.
Garth: ...what?
Wayne: ...sorry, that was an inside thought.
— Wayne and Garth discuss the 2011 Oscars
Sam: Did you ever kill anyone?
Mitch: No.
Sam: Did you ever climb Mount Everest?
Mitch: No.
Sam: Did you ever say you could see why women find Sean Connery sexy?
Mitch: Nnnooooo...
Mitch: No.
Sam: Did you ever climb Mount Everest?
Mitch: No.
Sam: Did you ever say you could see why women find Sean Connery sexy?
Mitch: Nnnooooo...
"He's dainty... I'm not gay, I'm just saying, that's nice. I challenge any dude not to look in his eyes and feel some kind of shit... OK, I was like a fag for two seconds."
— Jamie Foxx on Prince
"I had an erotic dream about Henry Rollins last night, and I'm straight as an arrow!"
— SPHINX Pilot during a Truth-Telling Session, The Venture Brothers
"You're not gay if you think Rudy's hot. Unless you are gay and think he's hot, or if you're a het woman and think he's hot. Oh, never mind. The guy's hot."
— Cpl. Josh Ray Person, Generation Kill
He makes chicks cry
You too, c'mon don't lie
You too, c'mon don't lie
"He has the most extraordinary eyes, and I kept trying to invent excuses for him to take his glasses off in close-ups."
"Balls or not, man, I'd totally hit that."
— Daru on the subject of Ruka, Steins;Gate
"The kind of guys gay men want to fuck become the kind of guys most straight women want to fuck."
— Dan Savage
"Women want to be with you, men want to be you. And there are some men who both want to be you and be with you. I'll admit it, I have a man-crush."
"Ah, Usher. The women want him and the men want him. [Beat] Want to be him... the men want to be him, I mean."
— Todd in the Shadows, "The Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2011"
Bongo: I know this probably won't interest you, but I'd hate myself for the rest of my life if I didn't at least suggest it.
Ace Rimmer: Suggest what?
Bongo: If you're interested, I'll be in my quarters at lunchtime, covered in taramasalata.
Ace Rimmer: I didn't know your bread was buttered that side, Bongo.
Bongo: It isn't, Ace. Been happily married for thirty-five years. It's just a chap like you can turn a guy's head.
Ace Rimmer: I'm sorry, Bongo. Lunch is... on Mellie.
Bongo: Would it make any difference if it was... hummus?
Ace Rimmer: Sorry Bongo. I'm strictly butter-side up.
Bongo: Understood. [Ace leaves] What a guy!
Ace Rimmer: Suggest what?
Bongo: If you're interested, I'll be in my quarters at lunchtime, covered in taramasalata.
Ace Rimmer: I didn't know your bread was buttered that side, Bongo.
Bongo: It isn't, Ace. Been happily married for thirty-five years. It's just a chap like you can turn a guy's head.
Ace Rimmer: I'm sorry, Bongo. Lunch is... on Mellie.
Bongo: Would it make any difference if it was... hummus?
Ace Rimmer: Sorry Bongo. I'm strictly butter-side up.
Bongo: Understood. [Ace leaves] What a guy!
— Red Dwarf, "Dimension Jump"
"I have to say, [water rafting] is one of those assignments I feared beforehand because Jan Versteegh in a wetsuit is the wet dream of every man and woman. So next to him, I feel like a hairy toothpick in a very stupid outfit."
— Ruben Hein, Wie is de Mol?
Peter: How is this dude still alive?
Drax: He is not a dude. You are a dude. This is a... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
Drax: He is not a dude. You are a dude. This is a... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
(219): If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How he does it? Only heaven knows.
All the other men turn gay wherever he goes.
All the other men turn gay wherever he goes.
— Studio Killers, "Eros and Apollo"
You: You sound like you have a crush on James.
Dan: [laughs] Who doesn't? I swear every straight girl and non-straight guy on this campus has a crush on that dude. Well, or at least want to bone him. Or be boned by him. Or whatever.
Dan: [laughs] Who doesn't? I swear every straight girl and non-straight guy on this campus has a crush on that dude. Well, or at least want to bone him. Or be boned by him. Or whatever.
Apple Store Employee: [to Steve Rogers] Oh, I have the exact same glasses.
Natasha Romanoff: Wow, you two are practically twins.
Apple Store Employee: Uh, I wish. [gestures up and down Steve's body] Specimen!
Natasha Romanoff: Wow, you two are practically twins.
Apple Store Employee: Uh, I wish. [gestures up and down Steve's body] Specimen!
"Well, if I were a woman, and I were not around, I should be in love with Rick. But what a fool I am talking to a beautiful woman about another man."
— Captain Louis Renault, Casablanca
"You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley/And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on!"
— LeFou about Gaston, Beauty and the Beast
"Gonna stamp out your fire
He can change your desire
Don't you know that he can
Make you forget you're a man
You're a man, and he's a man"
He can change your desire
Don't you know that he can
Make you forget you're a man
You're a man, and he's a man"
— "He's Gonna Step on You Again", John Kongos
"Yes, I've always been popular with the ladies. Well... with everyone for that matter."
— Hudson Horstachio, Viva Piñata
Carl: That's the truth. We got a 400-pound uncle he made look like Wesley Snipes.
Mike: He's a handsome man.
Mike: He's a handsome man.
"...this just in. I'm gay now."
"He looks like something a gay guy designed in a laboratory!"
— Mac on Teddy, Neighbors (2014)
"I'm about as gay as they come but Max makes me question my sexuality."
— Random Youtube commenter on Max Schnider
Howard: I tell you, if I don't get some action soon, I'm going gay.
Vince: [laughs] What, you?
Howard: What's so funny about that?
Vince: You're like the least gay person I've ever met!
Howard: I could go gay! You've got me all wrong! I could go gay like that, sir! [snaps fingers]
Vince: You can't just "go gay"! It's not like buying a ladder!
Howard: I've seen men checking me out, you know. Checking out my hot pumpkin ass.
Vince: Oh, you're ridiculous. Anyway, that is so out of the blue. You've creeped me out a bit. What is wrong with you?
Howard: Don't worry, I don't fancy you, all right?
Vince: Of course you do. All men do. I'm the Confuser. "Is it a man? Is it a woman? Oh, I'm not sure if I mind..."
Vince: [laughs] What, you?
Howard: What's so funny about that?
Vince: You're like the least gay person I've ever met!
Howard: I could go gay! You've got me all wrong! I could go gay like that, sir! [snaps fingers]
Vince: You can't just "go gay"! It's not like buying a ladder!
Howard: I've seen men checking me out, you know. Checking out my hot pumpkin ass.
Vince: Oh, you're ridiculous. Anyway, that is so out of the blue. You've creeped me out a bit. What is wrong with you?
Howard: Don't worry, I don't fancy you, all right?
Vince: Of course you do. All men do. I'm the Confuser. "Is it a man? Is it a woman? Oh, I'm not sure if I mind..."
"The girls may be attracted to you, but we're not! ...That much. Now take your godlike face and rippling muscles and leave!"
— Lemmee, YooHoo & Friends
"[...] They took me out in a beautiful fashion. I couldn't ask for more. If you gotta get shot by somebody, you might as well get shot by the handsome Tony Dalton with all that charisma. What a way to go."
—Patrick Fabian, on his character's death in Better Call Saul
Richard: Well, I'm gay. For Zava, I mean.
Sam: That's true. Some men have a charisma that transcends orientation. Uh, Paul Newman, Idris Elba, Norm Macdonald.
Jan: Zava is definitely one of those charisma unicorns.
Colin: Okay, you guys have convinced me. I'll have sex with Zava.
Sam: That's true. Some men have a charisma that transcends orientation. Uh, Paul Newman, Idris Elba, Norm Macdonald.
Jan: Zava is definitely one of those charisma unicorns.
Colin: Okay, you guys have convinced me. I'll have sex with Zava.
"Straight (Anson Mount exception) white male here, I'm doing just fine."
—Redditor
Barbie: What's going on? Why are all these men looking at me?
Ken: I think they're also staring at me!
Ken: I think they're also staring at me!
Meredith Blake: There was a group on Reddit for straight men who said they were “Gay For Oberyn.” What did you think of that?
Pedro Pascal: It's so wonderful. I think it's all a spectrum, right? Straight men can have — do have — crushes on other men. It doesn't make them gay, it doesn't make them bi. I was super-flattered. The guys that picked on me in middle school in Corona del Mar probably have a crush on me now. Maybe they had a crush on me then and that's why they picked on me.
Pedro Pascal: It's so wonderful. I think it's all a spectrum, right? Straight men can have — do have — crushes on other men. It doesn't make them gay, it doesn't make them bi. I was super-flattered. The guys that picked on me in middle school in Corona del Mar probably have a crush on me now. Maybe they had a crush on me then and that's why they picked on me.
—This article from Los Angeles Times
from Los Angeles Times