Quotes / Destroy All Humans!

At the end of every level, newspapers show up to "explain" your actions to the human populace

Destroy All Humans!

• Mission 1: Destination Earth!:
  Cattle Mutilation Pandemic
  Farmer Disappears Amidst Cow Abuse Allegations.
• Mission 2: Earth Women Are Delicious:
  Disaster At Rockwell Fair
  Fairground Left In Tatters By Freak Storm.
• Mission 3: Citizen Crypto:
  Mayor Declares Town Safe!
  'Exploding Cows Under Control', Declares Town Official.
• Mission 4: Alien Pool Party:
  Motel Party Madness
  Santa Modest Youths Caught In Violent Jazz Hysteria.
• Mission 5: Televisions of Doom!:
  Freak Lighting Strikes Entire Block! Kills 12.
  Local Electrician To Answer In Court For Faulty Ground Wiring.
• Mission 6: Aliens Stole My Brain Stem!:
  Stunded Sniper Strikers Again!
  Sixteen Die As Deformed Lurker Stalks Clancy Street Estate.
• Mission 7: This Island Suburbia:
  All-American "Fast Food" Sensation!
  Government Scientists Helping To Defend Against Communism Through Better Cuisine.
  Government Agent Abducted?
  Soviets Deny Double-Agent Defection!
• Mission 8: Teenage Zombies From Outer Space!:
  Furon Flix Hit Stix
  "Meet The Furons" Has Something For Everyone.
• Mission 9: South By Southwest:
  Mysterious Blaze Destroys Motel!
  Manger Blames Alien Invaders, Officials Blame Faulty Wiring.
• Mission 10: Foreign Correspondent:
  Bert Whither Assassination Scare!
  Safety Fear Cause American News Icon To Run To Ground, Says "The News Cannot Be Silenced!"
  SMCBS Uproar!
  Whither Threatens To Leave Newsdesk Over Salary Dispute!
• Mission 11: Suburbs of the Damned:
  Whither To Address Nation At 6PM!
  SMCBS Remain Tight-Lipped Over Content Of "News Special"
  Bert Whither - Prophet Or Puppet?
  Surprise Broadcast Fuels Hunt For Communists
• Mission 12: Whatever Happened to Crypto-136:
  Scientist Found Dead!
  Renowned Xenobiologist Found Slumped Next To His Prized Specimen.
• Mission 13: The Mutant Menace:
  Secret Lab Destroyed
  Insurgent Targets Cilvillan Lab, Cure For World Hunger Research Halted.
• Lost Mission: The Wrong Stuff
  Novelty Plane Crashes
  Higgs says sabotage, Armquist says incompetence.
• Mission 14: Duck and Cover:
  Airfield Destroyed!
  Experimental Fighter Explodes, Faulty McGuffin Sprockets Blamed.
• Mission 15: It's a Wonderful Armageddon:
  Reds - 2, America - Nil
  Red Saucer Flattens Santa Modesta Shopping District.
• Mission 16: Furon Down!:
  Fire Ravages Island!
  Authorities Deny Explosion, Blame Local Delinquents
• Mr. Crypto Goes to Capitol City:
  America Infiltrated!
  Octagon Locked Down, Search For Pint-Sized Spy in Progress
• Mission 18: Armquist vs the Furons!:
  Armquist Exposed!
  Red General Killed In Failed Coup D'etat Attempt!
• Mission 19: The Lone Gunman:
  President In Peril!
  Officials Say Huffman Is Recovering, Has Minor Headache.
• Mission 20: The Furon Filibuster:
  Massacred!
  Reds Blamed For Senator Slaughter.
• Mission 21: Shocking Development:
  Electrifying!
  Explosions Destroy New Power Substations!
• Mission 22: Attack of the 50-Foot President:
  President Found Alive!
  US Government Fights Off Commie Invaders On Home Soil!