Anonymous asked: if karl marx was real he could beat you up, effortlessly. karl marx could rip your little twig body asunder
edwad: i have like half a foot on him and know all of his weaknesses
edwad: wait, "if karl marx was real".... is he... made up?
edwad: i have like half a foot on him and know all of his weaknesses
edwad: wait, "if karl marx was real".... is he... made up?
—found on Tumblr
Steven: ...and that's the whole story.
Bismuth: Hmm...
Steven: Uh, are you okay?
Bismuth: Mmm. Yeah. Hang on a sec. (walks over to lava pool)
Steven: Uh, Bismuth?
Bismuth: (sticks her head under the lava and screams for eight seconds straight before coming back up) OH MY GOSH! It all makes sense now!
Bismuth: Hmm...
Steven: Uh, are you okay?
Bismuth: Mmm. Yeah. Hang on a sec. (walks over to lava pool)
Steven: Uh, Bismuth?
Bismuth: (sticks her head under the lava and screams for eight seconds straight before coming back up) OH MY GOSH! It all makes sense now!
To this day, I giggle to myself thinking about what that cop must've been thinking when he saw that. There's Henderson 'driving' the car, taking a hit off a bong the size of God, next to him is a dude who looks like a slightly less fat Kevin Smith looking bored out the window, there's so much smoke inside that you'd think the car's on fire, and there's a couple of people obviously fucking in the back seat. I'd like to think that he was thinking about his family, or going to watch a hockey game at the bar with his friends. Or maybe finally asking the cute waitress out. I just... Some part of me desperately wants to know why it took him two blocks to process what he just saw.
Sally: Um... Cat. Your tail.
Cat in the Hat: What about it? (looks down) Oh, I see! I chopped it off. Well that's interesting, because... SON OF A BI—*bleeeeep*
Cat in the Hat: What about it? (looks down) Oh, I see! I chopped it off. Well that's interesting, because... SON OF A BI—*bleeeeep*
Fred: I oughta sue that troublemaker Rubble.
Wilma: Oh, go to bed, Fred. It's all over, and everything turned out alright.
Fred: Well, okay, but if anyone ever mentions a baby again, I'll...
(Wilma suddenly starts crying)
Fred: Wilma, what's the matter?
Wilma: Oh, Fred... (sob) I don't know how to tell you!
Fred: Tell me what?
Wilma: (holds up a pair of knitting needles and a small pink bootie) This! I know how you hate them!
Fred: I don't hate 'em, I like 'em. (puts the bootie over his nose) It's just that I never had a nose snood before.
Wilma: It's not for you! It's for our baby!
Fred: Well, that's good. I wouldn'ta wanted it anyway. (puts down the bootie) Oh, boy, am I beat. Goodnight, Wilma. (falls asleep and starts snoring; after a few seconds, he opens his eyes) Baby? Nah. (he tries to go back to sleep, then awakens as it dawns on him) A b... b-b-... b-baby? W-Wilma, d-d-did you say—?!
Wilma: Yes, I said your baby.
Fred: (overjoyed) YABBA-DABBA-DOO!
Wilma: Y-You're not mad at me, Fred?
Fred: Mad at you?! I'm mad about you, sweetheart! (gives her a big kiss on the cheek)
—The Flintstones, "The Surprise"
Okabe: What, are you planning to go home for Obon or something?
Suzuha: That's not what I mean. I can't just go back to my original time.
Okabe: Ah, good point.
Suzuha: Ugggh, what should I do? What do you think I should do?
Okabe: Let's see. Well, first off... (Hm? Wait- Did she casually just drop something super crazy?)
Suzuha: That's not what I mean. I can't just go back to my original time.
Okabe: Ah, good point.
Suzuha: Ugggh, what should I do? What do you think I should do?
Okabe: Let's see. Well, first off... (Hm? Wait- Did she casually just drop something super crazy?)
—Steins;Gate: My Darling's Embrace
Tekaal chewed on his lip. "Regardless of where the event might take place, some amount of magic - a considerable amount, really - would be called for to enable the attendance of everyone who might wish to be present if..." He coughed, and Rhysel tilted her head. "If you were to agree to marry me."
Rhysel lost a few ticks detachedly considering whether there was any way her parents would put up with being summoned and how much of an improvement it could possibly be to instead send all of the guests from Elcenia to Barashi, before she realized what Tekaal was actually asking and put down her mixing bowl to kiss him.
Rhysel lost a few ticks detachedly considering whether there was any way her parents would put up with being summoned and how much of an improvement it could possibly be to instead send all of the guests from Elcenia to Barashi, before she realized what Tekaal was actually asking and put down her mixing bowl to kiss him.
Hey guys, what's up? I see the capital is on fire. Also I'm here with my army and I have the Emperor with me. (Beat) Wait a minute! The capital is on fire, I'm here with my army, and I have the Emperor! Screw you guys! I'm in charge!
—Dong Zhuo, Three Kingdoms - OverSimplified
Anyway, I get to the end of the level, I find an old fisherman's hut, he gives me the Master Sword, I turn around, and-
-Record Needle Scratch-
Wait, an old fisherman gave me the Master Sword?
-Record Needle Scratch-
Wait, an old fisherman gave me the Master Sword?
—Joueur du Grenier, Link: The Faces Of Evil review
I stepped into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
A giant red panda stared back.
...This was strange. Did somebody put up a panda poster? I leaned in and looked again.
The panda was kind of cute, actually. It had a huge head with big round eyes that looked just like mine. And when I smiled, the panda smiled. And when I pointed to the mirror, so did-
"AAAAAAAUUUGGHH!"
—The Real R.P.G.: The Story Of The Red Panda Girl (The Novelization of Turning Red)
”You’d better get started building good habits. Our kid isn’t gonna pick those up by themselves, y’know?”
Yeah, fair enough, that makes sense, Sunny thinks, “Alright, I’ll try not to get too distracted. Enjoy your time at the mall,” He tells [Aubrey], lining up his fingers with the keyboard to resume his work.
And then her words register in his mind and the weight of it bowls him over. He nearly falls out of his chair, glancing up with a whisper of a voice.
“What.”
Yeah, fair enough, that makes sense, Sunny thinks, “Alright, I’ll try not to get too distracted. Enjoy your time at the mall,” He tells [Aubrey], lining up his fingers with the keyboard to resume his work.
And then her words register in his mind and the weight of it bowls him over. He nearly falls out of his chair, glancing up with a whisper of a voice.
“What.”
—When Words Fail
, an OMORI fanfic
, an OMORI fanfic Chris: Wow! I can't wait to tell my dad!
Antonio Monatti: Yes, I know how important your success is to your father... That's why he'll understand that you can never see him again!
Chris: Yeah, of course he will, that's very- WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
Antonio Monatti: Yes, I know how important your success is to your father... That's why he'll understand that you can never see him again!
Chris: Yeah, of course he will, that's very- WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
Mr. Mainwaring: I could've sworn they would never break through the Maginot Line.
Wilson: Quite right, sir. They didn't.
Mr. Mainwaring: Aha. I thought not. I'm a pretty good judge of these matters, you know, Wilson.
Wilson: They went round the side.
Mr. Mainwaring: I see. (Beat) They what?
Oprah: Olive! Otto! In your office!
[Olive starts to get up but stops halfway]
Olive: Wait. Did she say "in our office"?
Oprah: Yes.
[Olive starts to get up but stops halfway]
Olive: Wait. Did she say "in our office"?
Oprah: Yes.
Otto: Babies of the jury, Olive would never cause oddness. I should know. I'm her partner.
Odd Todd: I gotta say, Otto makes a good point.
Otto: Thank y- [he stops; he and Olive look confused] I do?
Odd Todd: I gotta say, Otto makes a good point.
Otto: Thank y- [he stops; he and Olive look confused] I do?
The Puppy Master: On three, we're gonna charge through the door! One, two...
Orpita: Okay, villains! We give up.
The Puppy Master: Nice try, Little O! But you'll- [pause] Wait, what? Really? Why?
Orpita: Okay, villains! We give up.
The Puppy Master: Nice try, Little O! But you'll- [pause] Wait, what? Really? Why?
Joey: A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape...(realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Chandler: Get there faster!
(Joey screams as he works it out)
Chandler: Get there faster!
(Joey screams as he works it out)
—Friends, "The One With Ross' Inappropriate Song"
Sasha: Anne, I need you to listen to me! There’s something wrong with this Andrias guy! We should—
Anne: You expect me to believe you?! After all the lying and manipulating you’ve done?! Sorry, Sasha, but you’re out of chances.
Sasha: I think Marcy’s in on it.
