Quotes / Clue

About the game

I thank you all for coming this evening. I hear the traffic was murder...
I suppose you're wondering
why I've gathered you all here tonight
A murder has occured
and I'll be first to shed some light
Now mister Black is on the ground,
a victim of a crime most foul
I put to you that here and now
within this crumbling country house
Amongst this strange and sundry crowd
a murderer is on the prowl
Leave it to me to tell you how
This heinous deed was carried out

This melting pot has overboiled
Look out, you'll get your loafers soiled
I've a dastard foe to foil
and I'm not half a Conan-Doyle

I'll tackle the clues through this gaggle of rooms
There's no slacking to do when I'm tracking the truth
I'm an accurate sleuth with immaculate proof
I investigate better than Agatha could
Did the blaggard attack with a candle or noose?
Or was it the spanner he actually used?
This manor is packed with all manner of tools
(Although Hasbro has had the hatchet removed)

For enacting a plan for dispatching a fool
the plan that was hatched was both heartless and cruel
In the garden, the pantry, the parlor, the pool!
(The rooms will depend on the board that you use

Hold it, I've solved it! I know for certain that the culprit
Used the Colonel's old revolver
stolen from the drawer that holds it
In the kitchen, finger itching
on the trigger, chamber loaded
and I say, I want it noted
Reverend Green's the one who pulled it!

But I've got the gun?
And I've got that scene?

Which instantly vindicates poor mister Green
But with all that is left on the board it would seem
to infer that the murderer must have been ME!

Oh dear...
It appears I've made a grave mistake...

—The Stupendium, "Chairman of the Board" (Clue verse)