"Nothing stops me! And before you cut me off: Raven, the reason I hate you, the reason, in my heart of hearts why I hate you, is because I didn't know any better when I was a little kid. When my dad came home smelling like beer, I thought it was a hard day's work he was doing! I didn't realise he was out at the bar, I didn't realise "work" meant "unemployment office". I didn't think it was strange for someone to come home from work and have to take an old style up into the shower while he was in the shower, I didn't think it was strange for someone to pass out! I thought an old style, a pack a day was the norm! Raven, my father is exactly! Like! you! And since day one in Ring of Honor, where fighting spirit is supposed to be revered, things aren't supposed to be this way! I'd shake your hand like a normal man, but see, the truth is I don't respect you! I hate you! I hate you for everything you've pissed away, everything I've scraped and I've clawed for, that I haven't even earned yet, that you got handed to you, and you flushed down a toilet! For what? For pills? For booze? For alcohol? For women? I am born of your poison society, so on the 17th of July, I will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world, and your time in Ring of Honor will be done! And that is a promise! Because this is true! This is real! THIS... IS... STRAIGHT EDGE!!!"
— Ring of Honor: Wrestlerave
"Now far be it from me to think I owe any of you people any kind of an explanation as to why I did what I did, but I just cant resist. See, what kind of an evil genius would I be if I didn't extoll to you my master plan? The only difference being, my master plan has already come to fruition. I have, in my hands, what I set out to get, so I'll explain to you now exactly why it is I did what I did. See, if I may, I would like to tell you a story, and I know the last time I told you a story, some of you were a little heartbroken. But I assure you, this story ends a little differently.
You see, about a year and a half ago, I was still working for a company called Total Nonstop Action. Me and a couple of buddies of mine were told that we could no longer wrestle for Ring of Honor, so what we did, and I'll name names: myself, Jerry Lynn, The Phenomenal AJ Styles, and "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels, all decided to have a little bit of a meeting late Wednesday night in Nashville, Tennessee. And I sat there and I ate my food, I looked across the table at AJ Styles, who was the NWA World Champion
at the time, a belt which, by the way, is nothing compared to the belt I hold in my hands right here. And I watched as AJ could barely eat his food, he certainly couldn't look me in the eye, because what we all agreed was if we stuck together, we could work for Ring of Honor, we could work for whoever we wanted. I faxed a copy of my contract to the TNA offices and highlighted the part that said I could wrestle for whoever I wanted as long as their name was not Vincent K. McMahon or they were running a pay-per-view. I explained myself to AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. I said, "AJ, you hold the belt, you hold the power, you can do things, they have to listen to what you say." They looked me in the eye and they said, "We're with you, Punk, we're gonna stick together."
But I being done with them, I knew that was the nail in my coffin, so I made my decision, and I stayed here and I stuck with Ring of Honor, and I like to think that I built this place. And I know for a fact that there would not be a Ring of Honor for Christopher Daniels or AJ Styles to come crawling back to if it wasn't for me! Who do you think built this company? (Crowd chants "Joe!") Oh, Samoa Joe? Is that what you think? Do you think Samoa Joe was in the ring every day, training kids, eating, sleeping, breathing Ring of Honor like I was? No, he wasn't! And Chris Daniels, and AJ Styles, and even Low Ki turned their back on this company, and I stood tall, and I stayed here, and what did I get for it, huh? You people shit all over me! Because it was always "When's AJ coming back? Oh, Low Ki throws nice kicks! Oh, Chris Daniels is so great!" and the whole time, CM Punk, much like Atlas, had this entire world up on his shoulders, lifting it up, building up the young guys, showing the way, teaching them, and making sure you losers have a place to come hang out every Friday and Saturday night!
Everybody else turned their back on this company except for me, and you turn your back on me! I wasn't qualified to run the school, I'm sloppy, I'm this, I'm that, but the fact is, I was the backbone of this company, and now, I am the champion, and I hold the most important belt in the world, and there's nothing any of you people can do about it!
So now, fast forward about a year, and I get an offer from another company. I've got an offer from the WWE. And what do I hear? I hear "Please don't go! Please don't go!" Let me hear it now! Where are you now, huh? (Crowd chants "You sold out!") All you people can chant all you want! All your voices combined still isn't louder than mine! So I take this offer from the WWE. You people doubt that I actually signed a contract? I have to listen to you people doubt my ability in the ring, when I gave you the five-star, greatest technical match Ring of Honor has ever seen? When I gave you the bloodiest street fights that Ring of Honor's ever seen? People, you didn't realise it, you were in the midst of the greatest professional wrestler walking the world today, and he's in this ring right now! So I will, once again, prove the doubters wrong! You people doubt that I signed a contract with the WWE? Well, you're right! I haven't signed my contract! (Takes the contract out of his pocked) You see this? This is my key to freedom. This means I don't have to see any of you people any more. I've already proved that I'm better than you. But what I'd like to do right now is sign my contract, to once again prove you all wrong. Bobby Cruise, if you could hold the belt, please, I want to sign the contract right on top of it."
You see, about a year and a half ago, I was still working for a company called Total Nonstop Action. Me and a couple of buddies of mine were told that we could no longer wrestle for Ring of Honor, so what we did, and I'll name names: myself, Jerry Lynn, The Phenomenal AJ Styles, and "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels, all decided to have a little bit of a meeting late Wednesday night in Nashville, Tennessee. And I sat there and I ate my food, I looked across the table at AJ Styles, who was the NWA World Champion
at the time, a belt which, by the way, is nothing compared to the belt I hold in my hands right here. And I watched as AJ could barely eat his food, he certainly couldn't look me in the eye, because what we all agreed was if we stuck together, we could work for Ring of Honor, we could work for whoever we wanted. I faxed a copy of my contract to the TNA offices and highlighted the part that said I could wrestle for whoever I wanted as long as their name was not Vincent K. McMahon or they were running a pay-per-view. I explained myself to AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. I said, "AJ, you hold the belt, you hold the power, you can do things, they have to listen to what you say." They looked me in the eye and they said, "We're with you, Punk, we're gonna stick together." But I being done with them, I knew that was the nail in my coffin, so I made my decision, and I stayed here and I stuck with Ring of Honor, and I like to think that I built this place. And I know for a fact that there would not be a Ring of Honor for Christopher Daniels or AJ Styles to come crawling back to if it wasn't for me! Who do you think built this company? (Crowd chants "Joe!") Oh, Samoa Joe? Is that what you think? Do you think Samoa Joe was in the ring every day, training kids, eating, sleeping, breathing Ring of Honor like I was? No, he wasn't! And Chris Daniels, and AJ Styles, and even Low Ki turned their back on this company, and I stood tall, and I stayed here, and what did I get for it, huh? You people shit all over me! Because it was always "When's AJ coming back? Oh, Low Ki throws nice kicks! Oh, Chris Daniels is so great!" and the whole time, CM Punk, much like Atlas, had this entire world up on his shoulders, lifting it up, building up the young guys, showing the way, teaching them, and making sure you losers have a place to come hang out every Friday and Saturday night!
Everybody else turned their back on this company except for me, and you turn your back on me! I wasn't qualified to run the school, I'm sloppy, I'm this, I'm that, but the fact is, I was the backbone of this company, and now, I am the champion, and I hold the most important belt in the world, and there's nothing any of you people can do about it!
So now, fast forward about a year, and I get an offer from another company. I've got an offer from the WWE. And what do I hear? I hear "Please don't go! Please don't go!" Let me hear it now! Where are you now, huh? (Crowd chants "You sold out!") All you people can chant all you want! All your voices combined still isn't louder than mine! So I take this offer from the WWE. You people doubt that I actually signed a contract? I have to listen to you people doubt my ability in the ring, when I gave you the five-star, greatest technical match Ring of Honor has ever seen? When I gave you the bloodiest street fights that Ring of Honor's ever seen? People, you didn't realise it, you were in the midst of the greatest professional wrestler walking the world today, and he's in this ring right now! So I will, once again, prove the doubters wrong! You people doubt that I signed a contract with the WWE? Well, you're right! I haven't signed my contract! (Takes the contract out of his pocked) You see this? This is my key to freedom. This means I don't have to see any of you people any more. I've already proved that I'm better than you. But what I'd like to do right now is sign my contract, to once again prove you all wrong. Bobby Cruise, if you could hold the belt, please, I want to sign the contract right on top of it."
— ROH: Sign of Dishonor
"John Cena, while you—you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don't hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best. Because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am: And that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good as kissing Vince McMahon's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as 'Dwayne' though. He's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops, I'm Breaking the Fourth Wall...
(Punk waves to the camera)
I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split, just like I'm splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that: they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even on commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet, no how—no matter how many times I prove it... I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, and I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes. But the fact that 'Dwayne' is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight: Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else! Because you're the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of. And then at 5 in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job.
I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro-Wrestling. Maybe...I'll go back to Ring of Honor.
(Punk looks at the camera and waves) Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?
The reason I'm leaving is you people. Because after I'm gone, you're still going to pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel is going to keep turning, I understand that. But Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who's going to tell him everything he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon's dead. But the fact is, it's—it's going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon, all right? Here we're doing this whole bullying campaign—" (Punk's mic gets cut off as he mouths "I've been silenced!" afterwards)
I don't hate you, John. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back. I hate this idea that you're the best. Because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am: And that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass. You're as good as kissing Vince McMahon's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as 'Dwayne' though. He's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is. Whoops, I'm Breaking the Fourth Wall...
(Punk waves to the camera)
I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split, just like I'm splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.
I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's imaginary brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that they're just that: they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even on commentary! Nobody can touch me! And yet, no how—no matter how many times I prove it... I'm not on your lovely little collector cups, I'm not on the cover of the program, I'm barely promoted, I don't get to be in movies, and I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania, I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brien, I'm not on Jimmy Fallon, but the fact of the matter is I should be. And trust me, this isn't sour grapes. But the fact that 'Dwayne' is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight: Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else! Because you're the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of. And then at 5 in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on eBay because you're too lazy to go get a real job.
I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro-Wrestling. Maybe...I'll go back to Ring of Honor.
(Punk looks at the camera and waves) Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?
The reason I'm leaving is you people. Because after I'm gone, you're still going to pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel, the wheel is going to keep turning, I understand that. But Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who's going to tell him everything he wants to hear. And I'd like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon's dead. But the fact is, it's—it's going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family. Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon, all right? Here we're doing this whole bullying campaign—" (Punk's mic gets cut off as he mouths "I've been silenced!" afterwards)
— "Pipe bomb" promo, Monday Night Raw, June 27, 2011
CM Punk: Look, Chris. I know how good you are. These people know how good you are. My problem I have with you is you coming out here, and insinuating that I've stolen anything from you. No! I've never plagiarised anything in my life. Everything I have, I've fought for and I've earned. It's right here!
You think you invented saying that you are the best? Are you kidding me? Hey - there's a guy I remember watching when I was a kid, you probably watched him when you were a kid too. His name is Bret "Hitman" Hart. (*pop*) "The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be!" Did you invent that? Did you give that to him when you were, what, two years old? Huh? He's Canadian too, did you invent him being Canadian?
Chris Jericho: I have faced every legend, every hall of fame - future hall of fame performer in this ring and beaten them all! I've won dozens of championships, I've had dozens of classic matches, classic Wrestlemania "steal-the-show" matches, dozens of moments that will be legendary long after either one of us are gone!
CM Punk: You know, you keep saying that, and your words just scream "Superiority!" but I watch you and the way you walk out here, the inflection in your voice, and certainly your body language, it screams "Inferiority!". Who're you trying to prove? Are you trying to prove to me that you're the best? Are you trying to prove to these people that you're the best? Or are you trying to prove to yourself that you're the best?
I say "I'm the best in the world", and yeah, that's a little cocky, but confidence is nothing that I've ever lacked, and it's nothing I thought you lacked, but now that confidence, Chris, it seems to be replaced with jealousy. So you look at me, and you see a guy that emerged from the same shadows you did, he came from the same places you did, he overcame the same obstacles you did, but now he surpassed everything that you did, didn't he? Because, sure! You beat legends. You beat the Stone Cold and you beat Rock in the same night ten years ago, and that made you the WWE Champion. But you were never really the Man, like how I'm the Man, were you?
And that just bothers you a little bit, doesn't it? You have a Napoleon complex because of it, so you come back and you try to point fingers and place the blame. The blame's only on you. See, you say that you're "the best in the world at what you do", and I say that "I'm the best wrestler in the world". This is nothing I chose, I was born this way. This is who I am. This is what I do. While you choose to leave and write books, and have a radio show, and be on game shows, and you choose to be a rock star, and all the while I'm here, on top, swimming with sharks, while you're dancing with stars!
Chris Jericho: When I was dancing with stars, Punk, and killing it on The Tonight Show, and becoming a bigger star than you ever were, all I could think of was one thing, and that was you. Ripping. Me. Off. Every single night. You. Ripping. Me. Off, Punk. And let me be completely clear and honest with you. All of those January 2nd. vignettes, and the "Best in the world" verbiage, and this light-up, flashy, fancy jacket, it's all window-dressing, because I came back to the WWE for one reason, and one reason only. And that was to embarrass you on the biggest stage in the world. To take back what is mine, to beat you for that world title at WrestleMania, and shove down your throat THAT I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT I DO. I PROVE IT! I CLAIM IT! I AM! IT! EVERY! SINGLE! NIGHT!
CM Punk: That's all you have to say? When you came back, you didn't have to jump me to get my attention. All you had to do is grab me and say "Hey, Punk! Me and you! Best in the world vs. Best in the world at WrestleMania!"
See, this is the time of the year everyone points at that sign. But I'm gonna point at my championship title. Because to me, I don't need Chris Brown, and you don't need Mickey Rourke, and we don't need all the pyro in the world, or inflatable letters to tell everybody how awesome we are, and I don't need a fancy entrance, AND SCREW YOUR STUPID, LITE-BRITE JACKET! The only thing we need is me and you in a ring, and in April 1st, we're gonna find out exactly who the "Best in the World" is because, to me, those are the only ingredients we need, in the recipe to have what quite possibly could be the greatest. Wrestling. Match. In WrestleMania history. But, see, I have something you covet, and I say "Come and get it!", and at the end of the night, when you are looking over your shoulder at the ramp and you see this:
(Drops the mic, raises the belt, screaming BEST IN THE WORLD! in a loudest pop, picks up the mic again)
It's not gonna be the end of the world. It's just gonna be the end of YOURS.
You think you invented saying that you are the best? Are you kidding me? Hey - there's a guy I remember watching when I was a kid, you probably watched him when you were a kid too. His name is Bret "Hitman" Hart. (*pop*) "The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be!" Did you invent that? Did you give that to him when you were, what, two years old? Huh? He's Canadian too, did you invent him being Canadian?
Chris Jericho: I have faced every legend, every hall of fame - future hall of fame performer in this ring and beaten them all! I've won dozens of championships, I've had dozens of classic matches, classic Wrestlemania "steal-the-show" matches, dozens of moments that will be legendary long after either one of us are gone!
CM Punk: You know, you keep saying that, and your words just scream "Superiority!" but I watch you and the way you walk out here, the inflection in your voice, and certainly your body language, it screams "Inferiority!". Who're you trying to prove? Are you trying to prove to me that you're the best? Are you trying to prove to these people that you're the best? Or are you trying to prove to yourself that you're the best?
I say "I'm the best in the world", and yeah, that's a little cocky, but confidence is nothing that I've ever lacked, and it's nothing I thought you lacked, but now that confidence, Chris, it seems to be replaced with jealousy. So you look at me, and you see a guy that emerged from the same shadows you did, he came from the same places you did, he overcame the same obstacles you did, but now he surpassed everything that you did, didn't he? Because, sure! You beat legends. You beat the Stone Cold and you beat Rock in the same night ten years ago, and that made you the WWE Champion. But you were never really the Man, like how I'm the Man, were you?
And that just bothers you a little bit, doesn't it? You have a Napoleon complex because of it, so you come back and you try to point fingers and place the blame. The blame's only on you. See, you say that you're "the best in the world at what you do", and I say that "I'm the best wrestler in the world". This is nothing I chose, I was born this way. This is who I am. This is what I do. While you choose to leave and write books, and have a radio show, and be on game shows, and you choose to be a rock star, and all the while I'm here, on top, swimming with sharks, while you're dancing with stars!
Chris Jericho: When I was dancing with stars, Punk, and killing it on The Tonight Show, and becoming a bigger star than you ever were, all I could think of was one thing, and that was you. Ripping. Me. Off. Every single night. You. Ripping. Me. Off, Punk. And let me be completely clear and honest with you. All of those January 2nd. vignettes, and the "Best in the world" verbiage, and this light-up, flashy, fancy jacket, it's all window-dressing, because I came back to the WWE for one reason, and one reason only. And that was to embarrass you on the biggest stage in the world. To take back what is mine, to beat you for that world title at WrestleMania, and shove down your throat THAT I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT I DO. I PROVE IT! I CLAIM IT! I AM! IT! EVERY! SINGLE! NIGHT!
CM Punk: That's all you have to say? When you came back, you didn't have to jump me to get my attention. All you had to do is grab me and say "Hey, Punk! Me and you! Best in the world vs. Best in the world at WrestleMania!"
See, this is the time of the year everyone points at that sign. But I'm gonna point at my championship title. Because to me, I don't need Chris Brown, and you don't need Mickey Rourke, and we don't need all the pyro in the world, or inflatable letters to tell everybody how awesome we are, and I don't need a fancy entrance, AND SCREW YOUR STUPID, LITE-BRITE JACKET! The only thing we need is me and you in a ring, and in April 1st, we're gonna find out exactly who the "Best in the World" is because, to me, those are the only ingredients we need, in the recipe to have what quite possibly could be the greatest. Wrestling. Match. In WrestleMania history. But, see, I have something you covet, and I say "Come and get it!", and at the end of the night, when you are looking over your shoulder at the ramp and you see this:
(Drops the mic, raises the belt, screaming BEST IN THE WORLD! in a loudest pop, picks up the mic again)
It's not gonna be the end of the world. It's just gonna be the end of YOURS.
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (promo), February 27, 2012
"I'm a guy, for all intents and purposes, never should have made it to the WWE. I've had roadblock after roadblock after ROADBLOCK thrown in my way. But, not only did I get past those roadblocks, I did it while flipping off the people who put up those roadblocks. I feel I have a responsibility to the younger wrestlers on the roster, the ones who aren't signed yet, and the future of pro-wrestling as a whole to help make this place better and to change this place. I certainly can't change it by sitting on my couch in Chicago."
— CM Punk: Best in the World Documentary, 2012
"You guys really know how to make a kid feel like Britt Baker in Pittsburgh. I'm winging this. We're winging this. "We." That's a very important distinction. We'll get back to it. But I didn't plan on what I was going to say because I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know how I was going to feel, but I knew that I needed to feel it. I feel you, Chicago. And I hear you, Chicago."
[The crowd chants CM Punk]
"That's what I've heard for seven years. I heard you. I heard you. And we got a lot to cover. There's good news and bad news. The bad news is we're not going to get to it all right here right now. But the good news is, is I've got the time. Wednesday, Friday, four Sunday or Saturdays a year. I got the time, and I ain't going anywhere.
Wait. One second. Possibly for me, the most important thing I'm going to say right now, and this is for everybody at home, this is for everybody who bought a ticket, this is for everybody in the back. If, at all through my journey, any of my personal choices or decisions related to my life made you feel disappointed or let down, let me just say... Let me just say... I understand, if you all try to understand that I was never gonna get healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, staying in the same place that got me sick in the first place.
Can I tell you guys a story? It's hot in here. Hang on one second."
[Punk removes his sweatshirt, revealing a white CM Punk shirt underneath, and sits pipe-bomb style in the ring]
"Can I tell you a story? You see, I felt before like I had to leave. I didn't want to, but I knew I couldn't stay, and that was when I used to work for a place called Ring of Honor. August 13th, 2005 was my last match in Ring of Honor, and I famously came out with tears in my eyes, and walking out here today, I now know why I was crying. And it was a lot of reasons. But what it boiled down to was, I had made a place where people could come work, get paid, learn their craft, and love professional wrestling. And I cried because I knew I was leaving a place that I love, and it was a home, and I knew where I was going, wasn't going to be easy for a guy like me. Because I'm one of you. So I look at it like this: August 13th, 2005, I left professional wrestling."
[Punk stands back up]
"August 20th, 2021. I'm back. And I'm back for you. I'm not gonna lie, I'm back for me too, and I'm back because there's a hell of a lot of young talent that I wish I was surrounded by 10 years ago. So insane that I sit back and I say, well, hell, they're here now, so why aren't you? Here I am. I'm back, because I want to work with that young talent that had the same passion that I had stamped out. I'm back because there's a couple of scores to settle in that locker room. I'm back for the young guys. DARBY ALLIN!"
[Darby Allin and Sting are watching from the rafters]
"I see you. You're good. I've seen you jump out of airplanes. I've seen you wrapped up in a body bag and chucked over the top rope. I've seen you kicked down a flight of stairs, and you always come back. Just like each and every person here in Chicago, you're tough. But I'm here to help, and you're the first on the list. I'm gonna help you because you're a daredevil and you like danger. Well, Darby Allin, there is nothing you can do that is more dangerous than wrestling CM Punk. Except wrestling CM Punk in Chicago. I will see you, and I'll see Sting, and I'll see all of you September 5th. At All Out, live on pay per view. I'm back.
Oh, one more thing. Seven years is an awful long time to wait for somebody. I appreciate everybody here who has waited. So on your way out of the United Center tonight, grab yourself a free ice cream bar on me."
[The crowd chants CM Punk]
"That's what I've heard for seven years. I heard you. I heard you. And we got a lot to cover. There's good news and bad news. The bad news is we're not going to get to it all right here right now. But the good news is, is I've got the time. Wednesday, Friday, four Sunday or Saturdays a year. I got the time, and I ain't going anywhere.
Wait. One second. Possibly for me, the most important thing I'm going to say right now, and this is for everybody at home, this is for everybody who bought a ticket, this is for everybody in the back. If, at all through my journey, any of my personal choices or decisions related to my life made you feel disappointed or let down, let me just say... Let me just say... I understand, if you all try to understand that I was never gonna get healthy physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally, staying in the same place that got me sick in the first place.
Can I tell you guys a story? It's hot in here. Hang on one second."
[Punk removes his sweatshirt, revealing a white CM Punk shirt underneath, and sits pipe-bomb style in the ring]
"Can I tell you a story? You see, I felt before like I had to leave. I didn't want to, but I knew I couldn't stay, and that was when I used to work for a place called Ring of Honor. August 13th, 2005 was my last match in Ring of Honor, and I famously came out with tears in my eyes, and walking out here today, I now know why I was crying. And it was a lot of reasons. But what it boiled down to was, I had made a place where people could come work, get paid, learn their craft, and love professional wrestling. And I cried because I knew I was leaving a place that I love, and it was a home, and I knew where I was going, wasn't going to be easy for a guy like me. Because I'm one of you. So I look at it like this: August 13th, 2005, I left professional wrestling."
[Punk stands back up]
"August 20th, 2021. I'm back. And I'm back for you. I'm not gonna lie, I'm back for me too, and I'm back because there's a hell of a lot of young talent that I wish I was surrounded by 10 years ago. So insane that I sit back and I say, well, hell, they're here now, so why aren't you? Here I am. I'm back, because I want to work with that young talent that had the same passion that I had stamped out. I'm back because there's a couple of scores to settle in that locker room. I'm back for the young guys. DARBY ALLIN!"
[Darby Allin and Sting are watching from the rafters]
"I see you. You're good. I've seen you jump out of airplanes. I've seen you wrapped up in a body bag and chucked over the top rope. I've seen you kicked down a flight of stairs, and you always come back. Just like each and every person here in Chicago, you're tough. But I'm here to help, and you're the first on the list. I'm gonna help you because you're a daredevil and you like danger. Well, Darby Allin, there is nothing you can do that is more dangerous than wrestling CM Punk. Except wrestling CM Punk in Chicago. I will see you, and I'll see Sting, and I'll see all of you September 5th. At All Out, live on pay per view. I'm back.
Oh, one more thing. Seven years is an awful long time to wait for somebody. I appreciate everybody here who has waited. So on your way out of the United Center tonight, grab yourself a free ice cream bar on me."
Punk: Um, show of hands: Who here fancies themselves as a journalist? (spotting Nick Hausman) You're a journalist, Nick? Alright.
Hausman: I try my best, OK?
Punk: No, real, real quick, you still do improv?
Hausman: No, not a little bit.
Punk: No? When you did improv, who did you do improv with?
Hausman: I did it with uh, Scott Colton.
Punk: Mm, OK, so you fancy yourself a journalist, would you say you're friends with Scott Colton?
Hausman: Uh, no, I haven't talked to Scott in some time.
Punk: So you're not friends with him? Oh, wow. Well, that makes two of us. My point is, you fancy yourself a journalist, even if it's for the silly world of professional wrestling and you have journalistic integrity. People who report things, mostly that are bullshit and slanderous lies against myself, if you are friends with somebody who blew my spot, if you're not friends with them, I apologize. But you should probably disclose who you're friends with. I haven't had anything to do with Scott Colton in almost a decade. Probably wanted nothing to do with him even longer than that. It's fucking unfortunate that I have to come up here and speak on this when I'm on my time and this is a fucking business. Uh, why I'm a grown ass adult man and I decide not to be friends with somebody is nobody else's fucking business. But my friends, if I fall backwards, will catch me. Scott Colton, I felt, never would have. My problem was, I wanted to bring a guy with me to the top that did not want to see me at the top, OK? You call it jealousy, you call it envy, whatever the fuck it is. My relationship with Scott Colton ended long before I paid all of his bills. I have every receipt, I have every invoice, I have every email. I have the email where he says, and I quote, "I agree to go our separate ways. I will get my own lawyer and you do not have to pay anymore." That's an email that I have, and the only reason the public did not see it is because when I finally had to countersue him through discovery, we discovered he shared a bank account with his mother. That's a fact. And as soon as we discovered that fact and we subpoenaed old Marsha, he sent the email "Oh, can we please drop all this?" Now, it's 2022, I haven't been friends with this guy since at least 2014, late 2013, and the fact that I have to sit up here because we have irresponsible people who call themselves EVPs and couldn't fucking manage a Target, and they spread lies and bullshit, and put into the media that I got somebody fired when I have fuck all to do with him, want nothing to do with him, do not care where he works, where he doesn't work, where he eats, where he sleeps, and the fact that I have to get up here and do this in 2022 is fucking embarrassing! And if y'all are at fault, fuck you. If you're not, I apologize. But, what did I ever do in this world to deserve an empty-headed fucking dumbfuck like "Hangman" Adam Page to go out on national television and fucking go into business for himself, for what? What did I do, Dave [Meltzer]? What did I ever do? Didn't do a goddamn thing.
Tony Khan: I made it really clear in Forbes, and I just wanna make it clear again, Nick—
Punk: (interrupting) It's not his position to make it very fucking clear. There's people who call themselves EVPs that should've fucking known better. This shit was none of their business. I understand sticking up for your fucking friends, I fucking get it. I stuck up for that guy more than anybody, OK? I paid his bills, until I didn't, and it was my decision not to—
Tony Khan: Yeah, but I should've no-commented it when Nick first said it, it's my fault, and if I hadn't... It's my fault. It's my fault. I should've just taken it head on cause he never said anything.
Punk: I appreciate that, I appreciate that, but I'm, but I'm trying to run a fucking business, and when somebody who hasn't done a damn thing in this business jeopardizes the first million dollar house that this company has ever drawn off of my back and goes on national television and does that, it's a disgrace to this industry, it's a disgrace to this company. Now, we're far beyond apologies, right? I gave him a fucking chance, it did not get handled, and you saw what I had to do, which is very regrettable, lowering myself to his fucking level. But, that's where we're at right now. And I will still walk up and down this hallway and say if you have a fucking problem with me, take it up with me, let's fucking go.
Hausman: I try my best, OK?
Punk: No, real, real quick, you still do improv?
Hausman: No, not a little bit.
Punk: No? When you did improv, who did you do improv with?
Hausman: I did it with uh, Scott Colton.
Punk: Mm, OK, so you fancy yourself a journalist, would you say you're friends with Scott Colton?
Hausman: Uh, no, I haven't talked to Scott in some time.
Punk: So you're not friends with him? Oh, wow. Well, that makes two of us. My point is, you fancy yourself a journalist, even if it's for the silly world of professional wrestling and you have journalistic integrity. People who report things, mostly that are bullshit and slanderous lies against myself, if you are friends with somebody who blew my spot, if you're not friends with them, I apologize. But you should probably disclose who you're friends with. I haven't had anything to do with Scott Colton in almost a decade. Probably wanted nothing to do with him even longer than that. It's fucking unfortunate that I have to come up here and speak on this when I'm on my time and this is a fucking business. Uh, why I'm a grown ass adult man and I decide not to be friends with somebody is nobody else's fucking business. But my friends, if I fall backwards, will catch me. Scott Colton, I felt, never would have. My problem was, I wanted to bring a guy with me to the top that did not want to see me at the top, OK? You call it jealousy, you call it envy, whatever the fuck it is. My relationship with Scott Colton ended long before I paid all of his bills. I have every receipt, I have every invoice, I have every email. I have the email where he says, and I quote, "I agree to go our separate ways. I will get my own lawyer and you do not have to pay anymore." That's an email that I have, and the only reason the public did not see it is because when I finally had to countersue him through discovery, we discovered he shared a bank account with his mother. That's a fact. And as soon as we discovered that fact and we subpoenaed old Marsha, he sent the email "Oh, can we please drop all this?" Now, it's 2022, I haven't been friends with this guy since at least 2014, late 2013, and the fact that I have to sit up here because we have irresponsible people who call themselves EVPs and couldn't fucking manage a Target, and they spread lies and bullshit, and put into the media that I got somebody fired when I have fuck all to do with him, want nothing to do with him, do not care where he works, where he doesn't work, where he eats, where he sleeps, and the fact that I have to get up here and do this in 2022 is fucking embarrassing! And if y'all are at fault, fuck you. If you're not, I apologize. But, what did I ever do in this world to deserve an empty-headed fucking dumbfuck like "Hangman" Adam Page to go out on national television and fucking go into business for himself, for what? What did I do, Dave [Meltzer]? What did I ever do? Didn't do a goddamn thing.
Tony Khan: I made it really clear in Forbes, and I just wanna make it clear again, Nick—
Punk: (interrupting) It's not his position to make it very fucking clear. There's people who call themselves EVPs that should've fucking known better. This shit was none of their business. I understand sticking up for your fucking friends, I fucking get it. I stuck up for that guy more than anybody, OK? I paid his bills, until I didn't, and it was my decision not to—
Tony Khan: Yeah, but I should've no-commented it when Nick first said it, it's my fault, and if I hadn't... It's my fault. It's my fault. I should've just taken it head on cause he never said anything.
Punk: I appreciate that, I appreciate that, but I'm, but I'm trying to run a fucking business, and when somebody who hasn't done a damn thing in this business jeopardizes the first million dollar house that this company has ever drawn off of my back and goes on national television and does that, it's a disgrace to this industry, it's a disgrace to this company. Now, we're far beyond apologies, right? I gave him a fucking chance, it did not get handled, and you saw what I had to do, which is very regrettable, lowering myself to his fucking level. But, that's where we're at right now. And I will still walk up and down this hallway and say if you have a fucking problem with me, take it up with me, let's fucking go.
—from the post-match press conference after All Out 2022
after All Out 2022"I don't know if you guys heard, but I'm tired of being nice. Gone 10 months wih a ruptured triceps tendon, tore it straight off the bone. But I'm still here, and as long as I am, this is the professional wrestling business. It's a business of grown-ups, this has never been a popularity contest. We all know I probably would've lost that one a long time ago.
So tonight, we're going to have a little conversation about the future, but first I would like to have a little conversation about my past, which I don't think is checkered. If you would have told 15 year old me that you're gonna sell out the Budokan, that you're gonna sell out Madison Square Garden, that you're gonna sell out multiple times over every single building in Chicago with a roof, well I'm not sure little Punker would have believed you. That's because he didn't experience what present me, standing here in front of all you crazy bastards has experienced.
I'm tired of being nice! Tell me when I'm telling lies! I did all these things and I got here to this place riding a wave, riding the backs of smart, passionate professional wrestling fans like you. And, oh gosh, I never fit in somewhere more in my entire life than I have here in professional wrestling. I love you for it! I love you because you love me! And you love me because I have never compromised, I've been unapologetic my entire career, I am me! And I couldn't have done all of this without all of you.
But it seems there's some people that hate me for the same reasons you all love me. Hey, listen, I understand that the sheer magnitude of me makes people uncomfortable. I very much understand that my mere prescence makes people uncomfortable. That's because I am the truth and the truth is painful.
[Crowd chants "Fuck The Elite!"]
This sign right here says "CM Punk is my hero", you can call me that. This sign here says "Pepsi Phil", you can call me that. This sign here says "CM Junk", you can call me that. Boo me, cheer me, love me, hate me, you all do it because you know I'm right! You can call me whatever you want, you know what David Zaslav calls me? "One Bill Phill." That's because I am the one true genuine article in a business full of counterfeit bucks!
The king is back, baby. And I do have a lot of things to get off my chest. I got a question, Chicago, and then I'll get out of your hair: why would I change? This is what Joe Strummer trained me for! I will always speak truth to power, I will always be myself, I will never compromise! And there's the people who think that they're owed an apology. I've grown older and wiser in my years, sometimes it's better to be the bigger man. If you feel you're here today and I owe you an apology, here it is: I am sorry that the only people softer than you are the wrestlers you like. TELL ME. WHEN I'M TELLING LIES!
[Punk holds up a red bag containing the AEW World Championship he won at All Out 2022]
The last time you saw me with my tricep meat hanging down, I held what's in this bag above my head, and it's not because I deserve it, it's because I earned it. And it's not mine because I had "the best Dog Collar match." It's mine because I WON the Dog Collar match! TELL ME WHEN I'M TELLING LIES! This belongs to me until somebody can pin me or submit me for it.
[Punk then holds up his wrestling boots]
And there are those of you who I'm sure were praying to whatever God you believe in that I'm going to put these down here in this ring and walk into the sunset, never to be seen again. But until there is somebody in this company that can fill these boots, they belong on my feet. Tell me when I'm telling lies.
So tonight, we're going to have a little conversation about the future, but first I would like to have a little conversation about my past, which I don't think is checkered. If you would have told 15 year old me that you're gonna sell out the Budokan, that you're gonna sell out Madison Square Garden, that you're gonna sell out multiple times over every single building in Chicago with a roof, well I'm not sure little Punker would have believed you. That's because he didn't experience what present me, standing here in front of all you crazy bastards has experienced.
I'm tired of being nice! Tell me when I'm telling lies! I did all these things and I got here to this place riding a wave, riding the backs of smart, passionate professional wrestling fans like you. And, oh gosh, I never fit in somewhere more in my entire life than I have here in professional wrestling. I love you for it! I love you because you love me! And you love me because I have never compromised, I've been unapologetic my entire career, I am me! And I couldn't have done all of this without all of you.
But it seems there's some people that hate me for the same reasons you all love me. Hey, listen, I understand that the sheer magnitude of me makes people uncomfortable. I very much understand that my mere prescence makes people uncomfortable. That's because I am the truth and the truth is painful.
[Crowd chants "Fuck The Elite!"]
This sign right here says "CM Punk is my hero", you can call me that. This sign here says "Pepsi Phil", you can call me that. This sign here says "CM Junk", you can call me that. Boo me, cheer me, love me, hate me, you all do it because you know I'm right! You can call me whatever you want, you know what David Zaslav calls me? "One Bill Phill." That's because I am the one true genuine article in a business full of counterfeit bucks!
The king is back, baby. And I do have a lot of things to get off my chest. I got a question, Chicago, and then I'll get out of your hair: why would I change? This is what Joe Strummer trained me for! I will always speak truth to power, I will always be myself, I will never compromise! And there's the people who think that they're owed an apology. I've grown older and wiser in my years, sometimes it's better to be the bigger man. If you feel you're here today and I owe you an apology, here it is: I am sorry that the only people softer than you are the wrestlers you like. TELL ME. WHEN I'M TELLING LIES!
[Punk holds up a red bag containing the AEW World Championship he won at All Out 2022]
The last time you saw me with my tricep meat hanging down, I held what's in this bag above my head, and it's not because I deserve it, it's because I earned it. And it's not mine because I had "the best Dog Collar match." It's mine because I WON the Dog Collar match! TELL ME WHEN I'M TELLING LIES! This belongs to me until somebody can pin me or submit me for it.
[Punk then holds up his wrestling boots]
And there are those of you who I'm sure were praying to whatever God you believe in that I'm going to put these down here in this ring and walk into the sunset, never to be seen again. But until there is somebody in this company that can fill these boots, they belong on my feet. Tell me when I'm telling lies.
— AEW Collision Episode 1, June 17, 2023.
, June 17, 2023."I've got good news, ladies and gentlemen. It's the top of the 9 o'clock hour and that means I'm not the end of the show. I'm not gonna get my time cut, you wanna chant? You go ahead and chant!"
[Crowd chants "CM Punk!"]
"You guys do understand that Adam Pearce is trying to sign me to Monday Night Raw, right? I think they were a little bit louder on Raw, don't you? No, that's the question of the hour. I'm getting 'CM Punk, now that you're back in the WWE, where are you gonna sign?' And I feel fortunate that I get to take this journey with you all, because I'm partly gonna leave it up to you. So do you want me to sign and be a Monday Night Raw superstar?"
[Crowd boos]
"I legit-I can't hear you. Did you want me to sign to be Friday Night Smackdown exclusive? Do you want me to throw 29 other superstars over the top rope and then climb this turnbuckle and point at a sign and main event WrestleMania?"
"An old friend of mine that welcomed me back home with open arms famously likes to come out here and say, 'what do you guys wanna talk about?' And I'm famous for talking, it's kinda what I do, but I also have been listening and I hear there's a few people that are a little bit upset. They don't like the happy go lucky CM Punk. They don't like the CM Punk that says 'Hey, I love you guys! I'm home and I'm glad to be home!' So I listen and I hear and I understand that. So allow me to turn this up to 11, allow me to be that spicy CM Punk you all know and love. Allow me to get comfortable at home. This is me putting my feet up on the couch and my feet got a lot of mud all over them, ladies and gentlemen. So it's not what do you all wanna talk about, it's who do you want me to talk about?"
"Do you want me to talk about Cody Rhodes? I could tell you some stories. Or do you want me to talk about somebody who's not here? By the sounds of it, somebody who's never here, Roman Reigns. Tribal chief, I acknowledge you. Congratulations on all your success. Don't forget who the OG Paul Heyman guy is. Don't forget that he was my wise man first."
"Now Roman might not be here, but his cousins are. Solo. Big, tough son of a gun that I don't know. But I'm familiar with his cousin, Jimmy Uso. By the way, shout out to 'Main Event' Jey Uso, who's over on Monday Night Raw. I see you, Uce! These are the things that I have to wrestle with. Do I wanna go to Monday Night Raw and hang out with Jey Uso or do I wanna stay here on SmackDown and scrap with Jimmy Uso? But if I scrap with Jimmy Uso, holy gosh, he's got a lot of cousins. I'm talking like endless Samoans, right?"
[Crowd chants "CM Punk!"]
"You guys do understand that Adam Pearce is trying to sign me to Monday Night Raw, right? I think they were a little bit louder on Raw, don't you? No, that's the question of the hour. I'm getting 'CM Punk, now that you're back in the WWE, where are you gonna sign?' And I feel fortunate that I get to take this journey with you all, because I'm partly gonna leave it up to you. So do you want me to sign and be a Monday Night Raw superstar?"
[Crowd boos]
"I legit-I can't hear you. Did you want me to sign to be Friday Night Smackdown exclusive? Do you want me to throw 29 other superstars over the top rope and then climb this turnbuckle and point at a sign and main event WrestleMania?"
"An old friend of mine that welcomed me back home with open arms famously likes to come out here and say, 'what do you guys wanna talk about?' And I'm famous for talking, it's kinda what I do, but I also have been listening and I hear there's a few people that are a little bit upset. They don't like the happy go lucky CM Punk. They don't like the CM Punk that says 'Hey, I love you guys! I'm home and I'm glad to be home!' So I listen and I hear and I understand that. So allow me to turn this up to 11, allow me to be that spicy CM Punk you all know and love. Allow me to get comfortable at home. This is me putting my feet up on the couch and my feet got a lot of mud all over them, ladies and gentlemen. So it's not what do you all wanna talk about, it's who do you want me to talk about?"
"Do you want me to talk about Cody Rhodes? I could tell you some stories. Or do you want me to talk about somebody who's not here? By the sounds of it, somebody who's never here, Roman Reigns. Tribal chief, I acknowledge you. Congratulations on all your success. Don't forget who the OG Paul Heyman guy is. Don't forget that he was my wise man first."
"Now Roman might not be here, but his cousins are. Solo. Big, tough son of a gun that I don't know. But I'm familiar with his cousin, Jimmy Uso. By the way, shout out to 'Main Event' Jey Uso, who's over on Monday Night Raw. I see you, Uce! These are the things that I have to wrestle with. Do I wanna go to Monday Night Raw and hang out with Jey Uso or do I wanna stay here on SmackDown and scrap with Jimmy Uso? But if I scrap with Jimmy Uso, holy gosh, he's got a lot of cousins. I'm talking like endless Samoans, right?"
"So if I scrap with him, I'm gonna need backup, and they're in tag team action tonight.Can I trust a guy who I have history with, who hears voices in his head? Can I tag with Randy Orton? I don't know, are we gonna get along? Are we not gonna get along? It'll probably be entertaining either way, right? One guy, I'm pretty positive that would tag with me is Randy's partner tonight and his name is:''
[Crowd chants "L! A! Knight! Yeah!"]
'"Who else? Someone said Kevin Owens. Kevin Owens, that'd be interesting, right? Can I tag with Kevin Owens? Maybe I can fight Kevin Owens. Let's pump the brakes on that one just for a second. Kevin's a little bit prickly and I mean to say is that him and I are probably too much alike. And I don't know who would feel comfortable working with somebody who randomly just punches people in the face backstage. I mean, it's 2023, ladies and gentlemen. You just can't be doing stuff like that, that's insane."
'"Who else? Someone said Kevin Owens. Kevin Owens, that'd be interesting, right? Can I tag with Kevin Owens? Maybe I can fight Kevin Owens. Let's pump the brakes on that one just for a second. Kevin's a little bit prickly and I mean to say is that him and I are probably too much alike. And I don't know who would feel comfortable working with somebody who randomly just punches people in the face backstage. I mean, it's 2023, ladies and gentlemen. You just can't be doing stuff like that, that's insane."
"Everybody's happy to see CM Punk, even JBL! Everybody's welcomed me back with open arms... except for that one guy.There's always that one bad apple that spoils a bunch, am I right? But I'm not gonna put any stock in anything he has to say and it's not because of his whiny voice, it's because he's not even the man in his own household."
[Crowd start's singing Seth's theme]
[Crowd start's singing Seth's theme]
"That's about all he's got is that song, keep it up."
[Crowd continues singing, Punk mimes conducting them]
"Yeah, we're having fun and I'm so glad to be back home on this journey with you all. We're gonna find out exactly where I sign on Monday night and I'm here to listen to you all and I've heard you all. I'm here to listen to Nick Aldis. Over the weekend, I got a phone call scheduled with the heartbreak kid, Shawn Michaels. I'm gonna talk to him about NXT. And then on Monday Night in Cleveland, I'm gonna hear what Adam Pearce has to say. And I promise you, I will make my decision then. Almost ten years to the day in the same town, I walked out of this place in. All the men that I have mentioned today have one glaring, painful thing in common and that's CM Punk is back and I am the monkey wrench in their future plans and their future goals."
"Everybody wanting to talk about finishing their story. I'm back to finish what I started. And Monday Night, I put pen to paper and begin my journey of finishing my story and that means one thing: Main eventing WrestleMania.''
— Friday Night Smackdown, December 8, 2023.
, December 8, 2023.