He made pavilions of darkness about Him, dripping clouds, huge thunderheads;
In the brilliance before Him blazed fiery coals.
In the brilliance before Him blazed fiery coals.
— From David's song of praise, 2 Samuel
There was no reason to pray. This was already an act of the gods.
(Throw me down) It's been raining
(Throw me down) And now I will pay
(Throw me down) Woe is come to me
(Throw me down) I am the lightning rod
(Throw me down) I am waiting
(Throw me down) On a mountaintop
(Throw me down) Oh, above me
(Throw me down) He will strike me
(Throw me down) And now I will pay
(Throw me down) Woe is come to me
(Throw me down) I am the lightning rod
(Throw me down) I am waiting
(Throw me down) On a mountaintop
(Throw me down) Oh, above me
(Throw me down) He will strike me
— The Offspring, "Lightning Rod"
"HEY! Hey, what is this, some kind of sick prank?! I get the greatest thing ever, just to have it taken away?! Why did you do this to me, God? Next time you're gonna get my hopes up, could you please take me to a Grease Monkey? 'Cause I like to get lubed up before I get FUCKED!!! HUH?! Some lube would be nice! Or at least a courtesy lick, God! How about a little courtesy lick NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE TO FUCK ME!" [hit by lightning]
— Eric Cartman, South Park
Max: Please leave. This phone call may involve language you don't need to hear.
Dvorak: Can I stay? If one of the gods you blaspheme invokes lightning, it's important that we know which one.
Dvorak: Can I stay? If one of the gods you blaspheme invokes lightning, it's important that we know which one.
— Freefall
"Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand." (lightning strikes him, to no effect) "HA! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!"
— Frieza, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
[Roman galleys transporting the XIII Legion battle through a raging tempest. Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus are shown on the open deck, soaked to the skin.]
Pullo: This is cac, this is! I'm wet through!
Vorenus: We're perfectly safe — a very favorable offering was made to Tritonnote before we left.
Pullo: Well, if he can't keep me drier than this, he can suck my cock!
[flash of lightning — Pullo gets an Oh, Crap! look]
Vorenus: Why don't you learn to keep your fat mouth shut?!
[mast breaks and the galley is swamped by a huge wave.]
Pullo: This is cac, this is! I'm wet through!
Vorenus: We're perfectly safe — a very favorable offering was made to Tritonnote before we left.
Pullo: Well, if he can't keep me drier than this, he can suck my cock!
[flash of lightning — Pullo gets an Oh, Crap! look]
Vorenus: Why don't you learn to keep your fat mouth shut?!
[mast breaks and the galley is swamped by a huge wave.]
— Rome, "Egeria"
In their wisdom and their mercy, sometimes the gods overlook the petty failings of mortals and choose instead to open the path to redemption.
But, sometimes not.
But, sometimes not.
— Flavour Text of the SMITE magic, Dawn of the Dragons
So much for excuses
Through a kid of Zeus is
Asking me to jump into the fray
My answer is two words...
*BLAM*
...O-kay
—"One Last Hope", Hercules
"Blue Screen of Death!" gasped TuMok. He glanced up at the ceiling as if expecting an orbital laser to smite the Panasian.
I remember the Day of Judgement.
Can you imagine looking up and seeing the stars fall from the sky? Can you imagine the heavens themselves raining fire upon the world below?
You say you can picture it. I don’t believe you. I’m not speaking of war. I’m not speaking of promethium’s stinging oil-scent, or the burning chemical reek of flames born from missile fire. Forget battle’s crude pains and the sensory assault of orbital bombardment. I am not speaking of mundane savagery – the incendiary ills men inflict upon other men.
I speak of judgement. Divine judgement.
The wrath of a god who looks upon the works of an entire world, and what he sees turns his heart sour. In his disgust, he sends flights of angels to deliver damnation. In his rage, he seeds the skies with fire and rains destruction upon the upturned faces of six billion worshippers.
Now tell me again. Tell me again that you can imagine seeing the stars fall from the sky. Tell me you can imagine heaven weeping fire upon the land below, and a city burning so bright that all sight is scorched from your eyes as you watch it die.
The Day of Judgement stole my eyes, but I can still illuminate you. I remember it all, and why wouldn’t I?
It was the last thing I ever saw.
Can you imagine looking up and seeing the stars fall from the sky? Can you imagine the heavens themselves raining fire upon the world below?
You say you can picture it. I don’t believe you. I’m not speaking of war. I’m not speaking of promethium’s stinging oil-scent, or the burning chemical reek of flames born from missile fire. Forget battle’s crude pains and the sensory assault of orbital bombardment. I am not speaking of mundane savagery – the incendiary ills men inflict upon other men.
I speak of judgement. Divine judgement.
The wrath of a god who looks upon the works of an entire world, and what he sees turns his heart sour. In his disgust, he sends flights of angels to deliver damnation. In his rage, he seeds the skies with fire and rains destruction upon the upturned faces of six billion worshippers.
Now tell me again. Tell me again that you can imagine seeing the stars fall from the sky. Tell me you can imagine heaven weeping fire upon the land below, and a city burning so bright that all sight is scorched from your eyes as you watch it die.
The Day of Judgement stole my eyes, but I can still illuminate you. I remember it all, and why wouldn’t I?
It was the last thing I ever saw.
— Cyrene Valantion, The First Heretic
"Wouldn't it be great if I was electrocuted right now?"
— Jim Gaffigan, right after making a Jesus joke.
Lightning has been interpreted as God's authority and fury since ancient times. Now, God's fury descends to the earth, and it is being used to destroy steel monsters.
— Fulminis description, Lies of P
