Quotes / Astonishingly Appropriate Interruption

The pre-schoolers were huddled at the far corner around Mrs. Polestar. She was a beautiful woman, chicly dishevelled with her hair in a ponytail and wearing a finger-paint stained apron. She sat on a stool above the enraptured students. Her mouth formed perfect vowels and consonants as she held aloft a bright picture book. Her finger carefully underlined each word as she read. "The – big – blue – bear – was – Paula?”

The kids’ heads turned in hive mind unison.

“PAULA?” the kids gasped.

— The Pride Of Twoson

''Monday morning. Bad traffic. Let's just turn on the radio here, see if we can get some good tunes, crank it up. Maybe they'll play some early Stones. Yeah. Maybe they...
-POWER ON-
"...just reached the end of 14 classic hits in a row, and we'll be right back after we..."
-SCAN-
"...send Bill Doberman to Congress. Because Bill Doberman agrees with us. Bill Doberman. It's a name we can trust. Bill Doberman. It's a name we can remember. Let's write it down. Bill..."
-SCAN-
"...just heard 19 uninterrupted classic hits, and now for this..."
-SCAN-
"...terrible traffic backup caused by the..."
-SCAN-
"...EVIL that cometh down and DWELLETH amongst them, and it DID CAUSETH their eyeballs to ooze a new substance, and it WAS a greenish color, but they DID not fear, for they kneweth that the..."
-SCAN-
"...followingisbasedonan800yearleaseanddoesnotincludtaxtagsinsuranceoranactualcarwegetyourhouseandyourchildrenandyourkidneys..."
-SCAN-
"NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! BUD LOOTER CHEVROLET OPEL ISUZU FORD RENAULT JEEP CHRYSLER TOYOTA STUDEBAKER TUCKER HONDA WANTS TO GIVE YOU, FOR NO GOOD REASON..."
-SCAN-
"...Bill Doberman. He'll work for you. He'll FIGHT for you. If people are rude to you, Bill Doberman will KILL them. Bill Doberman..."
-SCAN-
"...enjoyed those 54 classic hits in a row, and now let's pause while..."
-SCAN-
"...insects DID swarm upon them and DID eateth their children, but they WERE NOT afraid, for they trustedeth in the..."
-SCAN-
"...listening audience. Hello?"

— From "Garbage Scan" by Dave Barry

Scientist: Colonel, you better take a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Scientist:: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Pilot 1: Dick!
Pilot 2: Yeah?
Pilot 1: Take a look out starboard.
Pilot 2: Oh my god, it looks like a huge...
Birdwatcher 1: Pecker!
Birdwatcher 2: Oh yeah!
Birdwatcher 1: Wait, that's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Drill Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object! It has a long, smooth shaft! Complete with...
Umpire: Two balls! What's that? That looks just like an enormous...
Teacher: Wang! Pay attention!
Student: I was distracted by that enormous flying...
Cowboy: Willy, what's that?
Willie Nelson: It looks like a giant...
Colonel: Johnson!

— Austin Powers

"I have to- (sees Boo) -DO SOMETHING!!!"

— Mike Wazowski, Monsters, Inc.

Ned Flanders: Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful... (a naked Bart slams into the window Ned is sitting by) PENIS!!
Rod and Todd: (with their eyes closed in prayer) Bountiful penis.
Todd: Amen.

— The Simpsons Movie

Peg: "That's the coolest thing since..."

Cat: "Teenagers!"

— Peg + Cat, "The Butter Problem"

Teacher: (through Voiceover Letter) "From Public School 7 to Mrs. McCloy. Your little son Gerald's a most hopeless boy. We cannot accept him, for we have a rule that pupils must not go..."

Gerald: (Cuckoo!)

Teacher: "...in our school. Your boy will go..."

Gerald: (Boing!)

Teacher: "...all his life, I'm afraid. Sincerely yours, Fanny Schultz, teacher, first grade."

—Gerald McBoing-Boing

Jules: ...So she turns around, and says (Remembers he has to meet someone) Oh shit.
Luce: The five-year-old said "Oh shit"?

—Relic Radiation, here.

R.J. Blackrock: Using cutting edge technology, we can convert 95% of the potential fuel energy of raw crude oil into usable energy by creating hydrogen fuel cells. And once these fuel cells become standard, any energy source we find can be used to produce them, permanently freeing us from-
Goldbug: Human filth!

—Transformers: Shattered Glass, "Transhuman" prose story

Diddy: Oh yeah, you'd rather pork that ugly, hairy-titted Sasquatch-looking-ass bitch than perform a little swordfighting with your best...buddy?

Donkey Kong: That's right! This conversation is over! I'd catch every last STD she has if it means getting my banana slamma on inside that thick, hairy-

Cranky: Coochie, here I come!

— Uncle Al's Donkey Kong Country Abridged - Episode 1 - Big Dumb Day

"Uhh, you guys know running in the halls is frowned upon by— [gets yanked] JESUS"

— Isaac, Paranatural, Chapter 5 page 100

Richard: "I've got a—-"

Cat: (sees Big Mouth the alien) "Big Mouth!"

Richard: "I do not have a big mouth!"

— Peg + Cat, "The Doohickey Problem"

Widget: Sure is nice of Wubbzy to cook us dinner.
Walden: Yes yes yes. And he did it all without asking for any—-
Wubbzy: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Widget: (Gasps) Wubbzy's made enough cake for the whole town of Wuzzleburg!

— Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!, "A Little Help From Your Friends"

Harkins: "Your teacher tells me you've been studying some of the Delta Quadrant races that Voyager's described to us. Who can name one for me?"

Girl 1: "The Talaxians."

Harkins: "Very good."

Girl 2: "The Ocampa."

Harkins: "That's right. Who else?"

Reg Barclay: "The Borg! The Borg! They assimilated my hologram."

— Star Trek: Voyager, "Inside Man"

Little Bear: "You can hide anywhere in the yard and woods, but no hiding in the—"

Duck: (sees a pie) "Pie!"

Little Bear: "No, not pie. No hiding in the house."

— Little Bear, "Little Sherlock Bear"

Truman: "Steaks don't come from trees; they come from—-"

T.D.: "Holy cow!"

(later)

Truman: "Steaks don't come from trees; they come from—-"

Alice: "Cowabunga!"

— Martha Speaks, "T.D. and the Steak Tree"

Librarian: "But the knight had a problem. He called out, 'All this water has reminded me that—'"

Nina: "I need to go!"

(later)

Librarian: "After the knight found the bathroom, he felt much better, and he said, '—"

Nina: "That'll never happen again, because now I know, don't wait to go."

— Nina Needs to Go!, "Library"

Frank: "You really look like you need to—"

Umpire: "Go!"

— Nina Needs to Go!, "County Fair"

Lana Loud: "I'm huge! I'm ripped! I'm—"

Luna Loud: "Lana!"

— A Load of Bulk

Lincoln Loud: "At my house, we call her the Queen of—"

Lori Loud: "No!"

— The Loud House, "No Guts, No Glori"

Data: "I can find no—"

Picard: "Data!"

— Star Trek: The Next Generation

Mario: "I'm not gonna lie, I'm a bit spooked right now."

Luigi: "Mario, you think this is scary? This is a walk in a park. A bundle of joy. (sees Goomba corpses piled up) A PILE OF DEAD GOOMBAS! AAAAAH!!!"

— StacheBros, "Night Of The Living Goomba"

We found Nunya in a- (looks out the window and gasps) TARGET!

— Lalas Go To Target: Nunya, Pita, Smarty

Sierra: But I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, since-
Mirabel: He won’t wake up!

— When Hope Goes Against Vengeance

Lurcio: Do you know? Clearing up after the last one, I came across a couple, left over from the orgy before. You'll never guess what the woman was saying to the man...

Man: Come on, hurry up! I got others waitin'!

Lurcio: 'Ow did you know? (Beat) Oh, I see, yes, sorry.

— Up Pompeii

Seraphina: Thank you, my dears. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to focus my energy on making my next-
Saffron: Jump!

— Seraphina's Tea Quest

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