Quotes / Allegedly Free Game

"These games are free... until you don't want them to suck."

— Aasif Mandvi, The Daily Show (December 8, 2011 episode)

"You can learn a lot about a person by taking them to a self-service buffet. Some people want to try a bit of everything...They're like Double Fine — always wanting to explore new ideas. Other kinds of people just get a bit pile of the same ravioli they had last time. They're like your Ubisoft — they found one thing they like and they're going to stick to it for as long as they can, probably making a little radio tower out of breadsticks. Then there are the people who immediately grab the entire bucket of chicken wings and then sell them back to the other customers for 99 cents each, and that's why you don't invite EA to the buffet."

—Zero Punctuation on SOMA

"Gaming is not an essential purchase. One can do without it. As more and more people balk at the high price tag of consoles and $60 games, they’ll naturally gravitate towards lower priced games, namely free ones. However, free to play games are not free to develop, therefore developers have to resort to using shady tactics to make money. In essence, games like Candy Crush Saga are the direct result of a downward pressure on gaming prices, which while nobody will say it publicly, I believe its because its the result of people not having the money to throw around anymore."

—Noah Murphy, "Candy Crush Saga and the Erosion of the Middle Class"

"Herein lies a serious problem with the mobile games industry as a whole right now: good game design is frequently sacrificed in the name of making something more likely to make money... [W]ith prospective players — many of whom are coming to gaming for the first time via mobile devices, remember — conditioned to balk at the idea of paying more than 99 cents for a mobile game... millions of people download free apps to 'try' them, get hooked in by psychologically manipulative basic mechanics — usually of the Skinner Box variety — and are then nudged in the direction of the payment options, usually by foul means rather than fair."

— Pete Davison, Wired, "Dungeon Keeper: A Symptom of a Wider Problem"

"It took me more than two days to dig out a 4x4 room, so extreme was EA Mythic's lust for FarmVille-style money-grubbing. There is no actual "gameplay" in this game. Very much like Final Fantasy All the Bravest, it exists solely to perpetuate its own crap economy, to give you the illusion of progress so you'll buy more Monopoly money."

—Jim Sterling on Dungeon Keeper Mobile

"But it's not a game. It's an evil trap made by criminals to make good children steal all their parent's money. And it's only legal because the old men who make the laws don't know what a computer is."

—Tycho, Penny Arcade, "Hogwash"

There are two types of sex; for money, and for free. The second type tends to be much more expensive.

—An old joke

"Free to play" is a delusion granted to the weak by the strong. Or so I've heard.

—Alarak, Heroes of the Storm

Soos: I know this app, dude! It's Candy Match Tap Blast Saga Unlimited! It makes thirty billion dollars a hour!

Spongebob: But it's a free app, isn't it?

Connie: Oh, Spongebob, you sweet summer child.

— Halloween Unspectacular: Blue Alert, "There's An App For That"

Old-Timer: What the pure heck is an in-app purchase? Didn't they already buy the game?
New Guy: Naw, the game's free. You gotta pay if you want it to be any fun!

— Two More Eggs, "Mobile App"

Neeko: Video games are best to play on a console after all. All the amazing things on it.
Imoko: But don't you also play games on your phone a lot, sis?
Neeko: Well, sure, but... With those mobile games, you're always required to either have the patience or the money to play it! But on a console, everything is free! Once you've paid ¥6000 to buy a game, everything in it becomes free!!
Imoko: That's a contradiction, sis.

— It's Tough Being Neeko

"Freemium": the "mium" is Latin for "not really."

— The Canadian Prince, South Park

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