Nightmare Fuel / Gwar

HAPPY DEATH DAY!!!

While death metal is an inherently provocative music genre, the folks at GWAR have set a new standard for shocking, disgusting, obscene and, in this case, frightening music. But can you really expect anything less from intergalactic barbarians that have been smoking crack and eating babies since the dawn of time?

The Band

• Oderus Urungus himself. If you think he's only frightening because he looks like a Yuuzhan Vong with a serious crystal meth habit, think again. Because chances are high that he'll kill/violate you/your parents/your pets/the nearest living object. But not before smoking enough crack to kill a rhinoceros. He has had sex with billions of people/animals and slain many, many more over the eons. Oh! And let's not forget his Cuttlefish of Cthulhu.
• Beefcake the Mighty, their bass player. While he might not be as ostensibly depraved as his fellow Scumdogs, his appetite is insatiable. So much so that he's always teetering on the brink of creating a black hole from his own immense weight. He also claims responsibility for sinking Atlantis by burying it under the weight of his own vomit.
• Flattus Maximus, their first guitarist with a face like an embarrassed Klingon and a gas problem so bad that he single-handedly farted the Fertile Crescent into a desert.
• Pustulus Maximus, their main guitarist after Flattus Maximus returned to his homeworld. He is host to literally every malady known to humankind (with the notable exception of childhood obesity and bird flu), coated from head to toe in weeping sores and zits that can only be treated with spoiled elephant semen, oral sex, and heavy metal. For added Squick, he is also a big, big fan of rape.
• Balsac the Jaws of Death, their rhythm guitarist. His head is a giant, horned bear trap said to hide an indescribably terrifying face. While he is said to be the wisest of the Scumdogs, he is not above any of their depraved shenanigans.
• Jizmak Da Gusha, their drummer, has a face inside of a canine face. It's really unsettling when you think about it at length.
• Slymenstra Hymen, for all her good looks, can make a terrifying scowl that doesn't say "I will kill you" so much as it says "I will flay you alive."
• GWAR's archnemesis, Cardinal Syn, is an "intergalactic Klansman" sent by the Nazi Pope that Eats Babies for their high levels of Jizmoglobin: the very essence of all life. And yet he looks heroic compared to GWAR.
• GWAR has caused so much chaos across the universe that they were exiled to Earth for their crimes against The Master and all of existence. Their sentence on Earth became a permanent one after they had sex with apes, who gave birth to the most obnoxious race in the universe: humanity.
• Oderus' successor, Blothar the Berzerker has proven himself to be just as frightening as his predecessor. Instead of a Cuttlefish of Cthulhu, he has an udder with penises instead of teats. That squirt blood.

Interviews

• Blothar proudly admitting to molesting Harvey Weinstein as a kid. Like we said before, he's just as horrifying as Oderus before him.
• The host of Headbanger's Ball asks Oderus what kind of things GWAR fans will do to get onstage.
  Oderus: Mutilate their genitals, uhh...kill postmen, uhh...slaughter the family pets and bring them in a nice tasty souflee down to the show. It's all a big thing so we can get the World Maggot, which crashes itself onto the stage and devours the entire studio audience.

Scumdogs of the Universe

• The Salaminizer reads less like a song and more like the manifesto of an intergalactic sex offending barbarian warrior.
  Crushed in the pit
  Nailed to the stage
  I only suck the souls that are underage!
• The music video for Sick of You loves giving extreme close-ups of Oderus' gross, meaty face.
• Maggots appropriately has the sound of buzzing flies to accompany its disgusting lyrics.
• Slaughterama is all about Sleazy P. Martini's Deadly Game of the same name where the questions are inane, the time to answer them less than a second and the punishment is death. A hippie gets his head blown off, a hair metal singer gets skinned from the neck-up and a Neo-Nazi gets decapitated. Crossing the line twice doesn't begin to describe it.
  Whoa, I blew your head clean off! Good thing I was such an excellent shot with the National Guard back at Kent State! I bagged four that day, there's nothing like hippie-hunting! My dad always used to take me along with Lee Harvey Oswald!

America Must Be Destroyed

• Have You Seen Me. Dear god. A charming little ditty about child abduction, murder and molestation. Near the end we hear the sounds of a pedophile trying to get a kid into his van. The only thing that takes the edge off is how hammy the exchange is.
  Mommies, I've been stealing your babies
  I gag the brat and then maybe
  I'LL SUCK OUT HIS BRAIN!
• Oderus shrieking every other lyric in the chorus of Gor-Gor, which is already a frantic song by itself, is sure to startle you out of your skin.
• "Crack in the Egg" is a withering barrage of a song, with Oderus gleefully shouting gruesome descriptions of the sacrifices needed to birth his zombie dinosaur son, Gor-Gor. Which involve flaying, slaying, defecation, mutilation and, of course, crack.
  Parasitical scum, you die so easily
  But you always have sickened me
  Your will enslaved, you grovel for more
  Soon your bowels will litter the floor
  Cannibalistic depravity
  Bereft of all humanity
  A fitting feast of abject insanity
  A dark curtain before the last calamity

Phallus In Wonderland

• After reading a newspaper about Oderus losing the Cuttlefish of Cthulhu, a skateboarder gets run over by the limousine of none other than GWAR's manager, Sleazy P. Martini. Sleazy's nice enough to give the kid a crackpipe to help him back on his feet. And then mean enough to have GWAR impale him through the mouth on a meathook and reel him in on a fishing pole...all the way from Antarctica!

Sleazy: How do ya like that, huh?

Skateboarder: (gags on the giant hook)

Sleazy: So you wanna meet GWAR? Well you's gonna get your wish.

• The "Crack in the Egg" music video is a frantic, jittery mess that borders on Sensory Abuse. It features Slymenstra turning into a frightening snake demoness and laying the giant egg that would become Oderus' crack baby: Gor-Gor.
• Father Bohab, the Pedophile Priest with a hardcore grudge against GWAR after having been caught chasing boys in and out of confessionals, leads a protest against the band. He ends up being disemboweled, spanked with a Bible, and having a giant cross shoved in his rear.
• The entire Have You Seen Me video. Where "kids" (all played by adults) are being filmed for a GWAR Cereal commercial. Two of them get addicted to crack thanks to the free pipe in every box, one has her milk replaced with something that is definitely NOT milk, one eats himself to death and the other gets pulled off the soundstage and thrown into a bathroom where Oderus comes in and does...something to him offscreen. Even Beefcake is horrified!
  • The director of the commercial (played by Gibby) is particularly creepy as well, being a mustachioed pedophile that's freaked out by his own ad.
• One teenager is forbidden from attending the GWAR concert by his mother. His response? Beating her to near death within an inch of her life with his skateboard.
  • His friend says he should finish the job by gruesomely burning half of her face off with an iron. As the poor lady is dying, she dials 911. She picks up the iron instead of the receiver. And we get to see the injuries.
  Teen 2: I think you better kill her. She might tell your dad.
  Teen 1: If I don't kill her...she'll tell my dad!
  Teen 2: Here, use this. (Hands him a hot iron)
  Teen 1: Coooool!
• The American imperialist "superhero" Corporal Punishment, enforcer of The Morality Squad and Dragon to their leader, Edna Grambo. He tears off Oderus' Cuttlefish of Cthulhu and puts it on trial for obscenity charges. In one scene, he's also having his sidekick, Private Parts, give him...oral support.

Corporal Punishment: That's all for now, kids! And remember: If an Arab isn't working for you, he's working against you!

• GWAR's fight against the Morality Squad ends with them gruesomely tearing apart Edna Grambo. Oderus goes the extra mile and licks one of her breasts before eating it!
• When Gor-Gor's attack on the city is announced, anchorman Dick Cox calls it quits and pulls a revolver out of an envelope before blasting himself in the mouth. It gets even better: This is based on a real life suicide on live television.

This Toilet Earth

• BDF. Let's just say there's a damn good reason why this was only available on the album's original release. Yes, it's that bad.
• Eat Steel is a fast-paced, frantic tune that may as well be the song that plays in your head when you go on a psychotic rampage.
  Look into my cold dark eyes
  I will never apologize
• The Obliteration of Flab-Quarv 7 is Oderus and Balsac fondly reminiscing of their campaign of genocide against the titular planet. It was only after they finished their slaughter were they informed that they got the wrong planet. Then again, they don't really mind.
  Gorged on guts, gouged out eyes
  Captives fill the breeding hive
  Desecrate their sovereign world
  Bloated, bloody, drunken churl
  Cultures crumble, races die
  Stench of midgets fills the sky
  Smashing skulls with ghastly crunch
  Pretty soon we'll break for lunch

Skulhedface

• The film opens on a sullen teen who casually slits his wrist on the couch while watching TV. The television then switches to GWAR's personal channel, Slave-Pit TV and he happily tunes in...until he falls over dead just in time for the opening theme to start playing.
• GWAR plans to escape Earth and return home by feeding sacrifices to the World Maggot until it's large enough for them to ride on. They do this in the form of a telethon where their fans eagerly call in and line up to kill themselves and those around them for their favorite band.
  Flattus Maximus: He said he's goin' to kill his whole fam damily!
  Oderus Urungus: (Points to the camera) GO FOR IT!!! (The donation counter goes up by four)
• One of the shows on Slave-Pit TV is "Turtles The Wonder Dog", a pitbull sent to save a missing kid. Turtles drags back the kid's half-fleshed carcass to his family who shower him with praise like he just fetched a stick.
  Announcer: It's Turtles: The Wonder Dog! Watch it! Whenever it's on!
• GWAR's brutal massacre of the corporate bigwigs as punishment for trying to get them to sell out. Blood and limbs are literally flying across the room as a security guard gets an Uzi shoved into his mouth all the way to the inside of his head, an executive gets smashed to paste and the head of the meeting (played by Jello Biafra) violently tears off his disguise to reveal himself as the wizened Doctor Skulhedface.
  Oderus Urungus: That was fun. Let's eat!
• The ad for Slave-Pit TV's horror film, "Lawn Jockey", where a white supremacist family fires their black maid, not realizing that she's a Voodoo high priestess who sacrifices their pet poodle in front of their lawn jockey in a candle-lit ritual. Next morning, the racist family is found dead by their racist lawn ornament.
• The Sexecutioner's cooking show. The ingredients include severed heads, feces, piss, intestine meat, and buttock flesh.
  Beefcake: Delightful.
• Sleazy P Martini's PSA for the "charity work" he's been doing for child welfare services. He happily reunites a grieving mother with her now-zombified son, who quickly eats her alive. He's all heart.
• Skulhedface's assistant has a vagina for a mouth hidden by surgical masks. The assistant seduces Beefcake so they can rip his face off for their superior to use as a disguise.
• Skulhedface's final form: A hand-shaped mass of flesh with villains from various time periods fused to it like something out of AKIRA. When she returns to her true self, GWAR tears her head off and force themselves on her.

Ragnarok

• The title track is all about the opportunities to party when the world ends. And, in typical GWAR fashion, the festivities involve a grand old time of physical and sexual violence.
  Your head it is a-turning, your brain it is a-burning
  As your sanity slips away
  The final hour's here, now grab yourself a beer
  You're only king for one day
• The music video for "Meat Sandwich" climaxes in Oderus challenging Jesus to a game of basketball, beating him and then serving him as barbecue to a horde of hungry guests.
  • Many of the video's cast members came down with a bad case of food poisoning after the shoot because the meat was apparently undercooked. Whether it's coincidence or karma is left for the viewer to decide.

It's Sleazy

• The boy whose face mutated from the shock of seeing Balsac's real face. Imagine a cross between Batboy and Smile.jpg. Brrr...
  • Then he appears onstage and eats his mom's face before being shot by Sleazy. And he looks even worse in person!
• Wally Lipsmear...and his gruesome self-castration in front of a live studio audience.
• Slymenstra's commercial for GWAR-band tampons. Which are just undead sheep.
• Balsac's chilling Freudian Excuse for Oderus' behavior:
  "He was raped at birth by thousands of midgets."
• The band skinning Marilyn Manson alive onstage and watching him flail about afterwards, screaming. Regardless of your opinion of the guy, it's not a pretty sight to see.
• The commercial for Sleazy's Crab Shack is quite possibly one of - if not the - most disgusting things GWAR has ever done as a band. And that's saying a lot. Let's just say that the crabs that they eat are not the kind you'd find at Red Lobster.

Violence Has Arrived

• Immortal Corrupter chronicles GWAR's many feats of ultraviolence against the denizens of the cosmos, vividly describing the tortures they inflicted on their many victims. The music video features the band dismembering Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush before feeding their carcasses to Gor Gor.
  Your entrails are displayed upon the rack, we break the bones within you
  Your fighters are dismayed and wonder if it is wise to continue
• Licksore, as the title suggests, is sure to have you reaching for the barf bag. It's about an old woman who dies in her home, leaving her body to be eaten by her cat.
• Happy Deathday is a an exercise in Crossing the Line Twice, celebrating with a raucous and joyous tone the many atrocities inflicted upon children in the 1990's - explicitly mentioning the Waco Siege, the Columbine Massacre and the Oklahoma City Bombing.
  We must now attack the very children that we taught
  That they must never fight the fucked up wars that we have fought
  Someone detonates the bomb, they said that it was huge
  Bulldozed all the evidence and blamed it on some stooge
• The cover shows the five standing in a landscape of fused body parts and gore, courtesy of Adrian Smith, who is best known for his work for Games Workshop.

War Party

• Bring Back The Bomb hits the listener with a barrage of jagged guitar riffs and booming lyrics about the joys and benefits of nuclear war. Ending on Oderus' rasping scream.
  When they tested the A-bomb they had a real fear
  The blast would destroy your sweet atmosphere
  But far more important as power increases
  Was wasting the planet in well-ordered pieces!
• Womb With A View is just plain icky.

Bloodbath And Beyond

• When Oderus doesn't receive the Showbiz Award, he stays at the studio after everybody has already left and confronts the host of the show in a rather brutal manner.

Lust In Space

• Make A Child Cry starts off with the sound of a weeping child and the roars of an unknown monster. It quickly devolves into Oderus' Madness Mantra about his personal war against children.
• Lords And Masters continues the tales of the band's gruesome crusades throughout space and how they long to resume them.
  The Master sent us here as penance for our crimes
  I do believe we kicked his ass, I do believe it's time
  Can't you see me from the void, can't you feel my hate
  As my brothers rape and kill the cripples I create!

Bloody Pit of Horror

• KZ Necromancer combines the horrors of Dr. Mengele with the horrors of profuse ejaculation.
• Tick-Tits is the ultimate fusion of Fetish Retardant and Nausea Fuel. It's enough to turn a man to a life of celibacy.

Battle Maximus

• They Swallowed The Sun. A frantic death metal ballad about hunting and killing to survive on a Crapsack World where humanity itself is implied to have been all but wiped out.
  We know where they are
  We hunt them by night
  They are dead by morning
  Our schedules are tight
• Raped at Birth recounts Oderus Urungus' shitty childhood, in which he was squirted out fully-formed from a Uterine Replicator and forced to fight against a horde of rapists in a gladiatorial arena with nothing but a sword. If the lyrics don't get you, the heart-pounding rhythm will. Small wonder why Oderus was always in such a bad mood.
  After we've been raped, we were all given weapons
  Your fate is my glory, your face I will step in
  I'm not complaining, my life is fucked
  I was raped at birth
  From then on, everything SUCKED!

The Animated Tales of GWAR

• Oderus, stricken with "lead singer menopause" that turns him into a children's performer, decides to trade places with Weird Al Yankovic. His disguise is Al's severed face and scalp. When he realizes that kids don't even like his preachy songs, his "face" slides off like a greasy pancake. Cue the screaming.
• GWAR raids the birthday party that Oderus is performing at right after the latter's "face" sloughs off, much to the horror of the children. After delivering the injection to cure him, Oderus breaks out of his illness with one mother of a Game Face and tears his accordion apart...along with everyone in the house. One kid gets his head punched into his butt, a girl gets the front half of her body yanked off by her hair and Oderus wears a baby as a mask.
  Oderus: HAPPY DEATH DAY!!

Blood of Gods

• Fuck This Place ends with an ominous orchestral piece that sounds like the coming of an ancient evil.
• El Presidente is about GWAR murdering the president and taking over the USA. Given that this was released only a year after the infamous 2016 presidential election, the song is proof that GWAR has not softened up in the slightest since Dave Brockie's death.
  Teleport into his office all the way from outer space
  He won't know it's happened 'til I'm tearing off his stupid face
  Did you think this sword and battle axe I have are just for show?
  Not only will I use them, I will revel as the kill count grows!

• The music video for Viking Death Machine is a masterpiece of Deranged Animation, resembling the grotesque lovechild of The Ren & Stimpy Show and The Brothers Grunt.

The New Dark Ages

• Ratcatcher, while catchy, is all about the very, very dark story behind the Pied Piper of Hamelin, emphasizing that the fairy tale was basically a story about revenge by mass child abduction.
  • The music video, animated by the same mind behind the one for Viking Death Machine, drives the point home with even more Deranged Animation and Nausea Fuel.
  I got your children in my basement
  I got the rock in my pipe
  I got your children in my basement
  For the rest of their lives
• Blood Libel is about the long legacy of antisemitic canards that accused Jews of child sacrifice and cannibalism - and how it continues to live on through conspiracy theories surrounding Pizzagate, Qanon and adrenochrome. All because humans are willing to believe anything if it means they can perpetuate their irrational hatreds. And they were all true - except that GWAR was behind every single atrocity. Because it's fun.
  Conspire to rule
  Murder God Himself
  Men will always conjure ghouls
  To blame someone else
  When darkness lurks, conspiracy condemns
  Lies do the work
  Making demons of men
• Temple Ascent and Starving Gods are about the Aztec practice of Human Sacrifice, complete with Aztec death whistles!