Narm / The Legend of Zelda

"Damn it, Ganondorf, this is a Zelda game, not Raving Rabbids!"

"Straight up, the only reason the Phillips CD-i Zelda titles are considered to have exceptionally bad dialogue is because they're fully voiced. There's dialogue in the mainline Zelda titles that'd be far more YTP-worthy than anything in Faces of Evil if it were to be spoken by an actual human being, and deep down I think we all know it.

People in the notes are acting like I must be talking about the broken English in the NES games as though literally everything that comes out of Sidon’s mouth doesn’t qualify."

—David J Prokopetz

• This goes all the way back to the original Famicom Disk System version of The Legend of Zelda. As seen on this comparison page, most of the sound effects in the Japanese version starting with "Sword Shooting" sound rather goofy in comparison to the NES versions.
• The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • You have Ganondorf's last bit of dialogue: "CURSE YOU ZELDA!!! CURSE YOU SAGES!!! CURSE YOU... LINK!!!" Not helped by the face he makes, which is even somewhat reminiscent of CD-i Ganon's infamous face.◊ Unless you used all-caps for your name (which would go against the game's naming convention), his last sentence is actually written as "CURSE YOU...Link!"
  • Sheik getting tossed around like a rag doll in the scene where Kakariko is on fire. It's otherwise a very serious part of the game, but that animation just looks ridiculous.
  • Adult Link's default spawn on starting up the game is at the Temple of Time. If you turned off the game after releasing the last Sage, it will automatically start the cutscene with Sheik in the Temple when you start the game up again. If you were still wearing your Iron Boots when you saved and turned off, Link will still be wearing them in the cutscene. Complete with loud clanking footsteps, all the time.
• In the 3DS remake of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, an additional bit of text was added when you run out of time and the Moon destroys Termina. "And so the angry moon fell from the sky, annihilating this world and its many inhabitants. All items and such gained these last three days are lost." The first sentence on its own would have served as a powerful final curtain, really illustrating just how badly the player has bungled it. However, the fact that the game mixes the devastating narrative with the gameplay consequences unintentionally sound like an Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking gag: "The world's been destroyed! Everyone died! And I lost all my items, too!" Not only that, but it even advises that you exit the game and reboot it in order to reverse the effects of the apocalypse.
• Even The Wind Waker, despite the humor relying heavily on slapstick anyway, managed to have a short narm scene in the final boss battle, when Ganondorf attacks Tetra. Upon seeing it, Link snaps into a weird, somewhat angry-ish, facial expression for a split second... It's obviously meant to look badass because now It's Personal, but ended up looking more like Link just saw him cramming someone into a locker at school and is about to run and tell a teacher, not like Ganondorf smacked his closest friend brutally to the ground.
• In an effort to punctuate the totally unsurprising fact that he is, in fact, The Dragon, and not the Big Bad: Zant, the Twilight King of Twilight Princess shifts from his excellent creepiness of all previous scenes to jumping around and clucking like a chicken during his boss fight.
  • There was actually quite a bit of this in Twilight Princess. The example that comes to mind is the scene (which straddles the line between Narm and Nightmare Fuel) where one of the spirits is warning Link that the fused shadows could corrupt him; it brings to mind cardboard props in a god-awful 3rd-grade school play. Not to mention the moment during said scene where a Link who appears to be suffering from cataracts lets loose The Scream.
  • The best part? At the end of that scene, a bunch of laughing Ilias start raining from the sky while Link watches on, wearing an expression on his face that clearly shows he's high as a kite.
  • Midna getting ragdolled into the outer walls of Hyrule Castle by the Fused Shadows (which are way too big for her imp form) stuck around her head happens to look very silly.
  • The anguished scream Ganondorf lets out after receiving the Coup de Grâce is rendered unintentionally funny by the closeup on his ridiculous, wide-open "Muppet" mouth.
• Skyward Sword:
  • Ghirahim's little "That Makes Me Feel Angry" tirade during your first meeting with him. FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER!
  • Not helping matters is his over-the-top feminine look resembling Lady Gaga, which works against the seriousness of his scenes.
  • The scene where Link and Zelda finally reunite after going through the Gate of Time is very heartwarming and tear-jerky... except for the fact that in one of the expressions Link uses his eyes get very wide, to the point that he looks like he's high as a kite.
• Hyrule Warriors: Any scariness Ganon's beast form might have had is instantly killed by his ridiculous walking animation. Slamming his fists into the ground, bobbing his head up and down, cheerfully sending mooks flying as he goes, he looks like he's trying to prance!
  • Volga the Dragon Knight becomes a bit harder to take seriously when his voice actor actually yells "RAWR!" out loud.
• In The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, after killing Sonia, Ganondorf breaks out into a glorious, ear-to-ear troll smile that would give Beatrice a run for her money, and laughs.
• The CD-i games have so much of this that they're hard to take seriously. Among the more famous goof-ups are the hammy voice acting, the bad animation and quite a few silly lines. Take for example...
  • "I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!"
  • "You DARE bring LIGHT to my LAIR? You must DIE!"
  • "Join me, Link, and I will make your face^note referring to the giant Rushmore-esque faces Ganon built for each of his minions the grrrrrrrreatest in Koridai... or else you will DIE!" Ganon's We Can Rule Together speech loses what menace it had immediately afterwards when he lunges at the camera while making what is probably the single most narmish face in the entire game◊. It seems to have been intentionally drawn as ridiculously as possible.
  • "Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for." "I wonder what's for dinner...?"