Snarky Non-Human Sidekick

"When I volunteered for this mission, I never thought I'd end up playing straight man to a tin can."

— Lt. Pizer regarding V.I.N.CENT., The Black Hole

You'd be amazed at what being small and cute will let you get away with.

He may be a sassy little beast with a heart of gold who gripes about the dangers of accompanying the hero, but ultimately follows him or her out of loyalty. Or he may be a sociopath who mocks the idealistic rest of the cast and the villains alike, always getting the last word. His popularity ranges from The Scrappy to fan favourite in the same fandom. Every second webcomic has one because nothing screams nerd-humor quite like having a token little mascot that swears like a sailor and/or brings hookers to your place when you're absent for the night.

For some reason, it's often a "he," even when it's hard to understand what about his physique qualifies him as male.

Cuteness is common, not a certainty.

Cats and/or vaguely cat-like things are common, as are toasters, for some reason.

If their style of snarkiness involves a lot of puns, they may well be Pun Fursonified.

See also The Imp, Weasel Mascot, Non-Human Sidekick, Silicon Snarker, and Sidekick Creature Nuisance. Contrast with The Snark Knight, the close human equivalent.

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Examples:

Anime & Manga

• Mao from Darker than Black seems to fit. He's a human trapped in a cat's body and is snarky toward both Hei and Huang. He's also at least technically a sociopath (since Contractors are all supposed to suffer from Lack of Empathy). He becomes an even better example later on when he ends up in the body of a Ridiculously Cute Critter in the second season, which increases the contrast between his body and his personality.

• Chamo from Negima! Magister Negi Magi, the Dirty Old Man ermine (technically an "ermine cat elf fairy"). He's quite eager to get the hero Negi as much tail as possible. He likes to comment on all the fetish appeal and Fanservice that tends to go on around them.
• Pokémon: The Series: Team Rocket's talking Meowth tends to be the show's go-to source for snarky humor, at least in the English dub. Whether it be insulting the human members of his Terrible Trio or commenting on how the animators didn't draw him a nose, expect this cat to have some sort of quip on the situation at hand.

Comic Books

• Wonder Woman Vol 1: Diana's robot plane is generally quite respectful to her, but after she directs it to follow Steve Trevor's orders as well he is shocked that not only does the thing have a talkative A.I. it has a very sarcastic A.I. The plane claims it is a new development after being partially dismantled by gremlins, but Diana's reaction indicates that's just the thing's personality.
• Quality Comics' Midnight's first sidekick was Gabby the talking monkey. Their first meeting involved a gun and snark, both were handled by the monkey.

Films — Animation

• Iago from Aladdin serves as a snarky sidekick to Jafar, then Aladdin, and finally Cassim. He shifts alliances because Jafar is too mean and Aladdin too nice, Cassim is in-between.
• The Lion King (1994): Zazu, who is definitely snarky to Simba although respectful to King Mufasa (in both terms of duty and friendship). Although the entire cast of the film is non-human, Zazu qualifies by virtue of being a different species from the other characters.

Films — Live-Action

• The Black Hole: V.I.N.CENT, but lampshaded:
  Charlie Pizer: V.I.N.CENT, were you programmed to bug me?
  V.I.N.CENT: No, sir, to educate you.
• Even though we can't directly understand anything they say, R2-D2 and Chewbacca both fill this role in the Star Wars universe. The responses to R2-D2 clearly indicate that what he said was not polite, but often necessary to point things out.
• If you thought Superman Returns was bad, you obviously have not heard Kevin Smith's story about the proposed Superman Reborn/Superman Lives film that was in development hell for decades and eventually became Superman Returns. Quite aside from ideas like Sean Penn as Clark, Superman fighting a giant spider, and Superman not flying and not wearing the suit, producer Jon Peters wanted to give Brainiac, the coldhearted AI, a snarky robotic sidekick — a "little gay R2-D2". Said robot was actually the Snarky Non-Human Sidekick of Lord Manga Khan in Justice League International, who went on to have a Heel–Face Turn and become a member of the League. At least it wasn't Koko the Space Monkey.

• TRON, Bits (and their upgraded counterparts in the video game canon, Bytes) are Living Polyhedrons kept as pets by the Programs and tend to be astonishingly sarcastic. Bit from the first film manages to get plenty of snarky mileage out of "YES" and "NO," Byte has a full vocabulary to insult anything in range.

• The eponymous Pokémon Detective Pikachu provides wisecracking running commentary throughout the film that only Tim Goodman can understand. Being voiced by Ryan Reynolds helps.

Literature

• While drones in Iain M. Banks' The Culture aren't at a HK-47 level of sociopathy, they are all Deadpan Snarker types who can be quite casual about using sentient knife-missiles against their enemies.
  • Use of Weapons: At least one of them seems to get waaaaay too much satisfaction when he gets an excuse to chop up some bandits into Ludicrous Gibs.
  • Surface Detail has a particularly snarky and sociopathic ship's Avatar — it says something that, given the propensity of Minds to fit this trope, that even his fellows consider him nuts.
• Loiosh, Vlad's familiar in Steven Brust's Dragaera novels, although Vlad's equally snarky.
• Ozymandias, from Simon R. Green's Deathstalker series.
• Forest Kingdom: Book 1 (Blue Moon Rising) features Prince Rupert's talking unicorn.
• Mogget from Garth Nix's Old Kingdom Trilogy is a little white fluffy cat who spends most of his time sleeping and making unkind remarks. Except when his Superpowered Evil Side kicks in, that is.
• The Polity has a definite debt to The Culture, as is seen in its own snarky artificial intelligences. The Skinner also has a snarky Hive Mind of sapient wasps.
• Bob the Skull from The Dresden Files. He's not really a skull, he's just anchored to it. He's actually a supernatural library of the laws of magic that constantly evolves as the laws of reality do. He's also a complete lech, a Deadpan Snarker to rival Harry, and something of a Lovable Coward. He also has a conscience under there, on occasion. Of course, other times, he's less so. As of Changes, it seems Mouse is as well — and though Mister can't (or at least has yet to be able to) talk, he managed to snark pretty well himself, too. He must have taught Mouse about the virtues of threatening to 'literally tear (character's) ass off'.
• Bartimaeus from The Bartimaeus Trilogy could be called this. He does take over from the main character a lot of the time (Nathaniel would've died in the first book without him) but he is, technically, the sidekick and he has the snarky part down pat.
• The Ruby Red Trilogy: Xemerius is the ghost of a gargoyle, who can only be seen and heard by Gwen. Much of his dialog is spent complaining about the tears, angst, and/or sappiness arising from teenage romance, providing sarcastic "narration" of Gwen's interactions with her love interest, or providing highly embellished reporting about events he spied on for Gwen.

Live-Action TV

• Despite being a normal non-speaking animal, due to clever scripts, good comic-acting, and cinematography tricks, Fraser's pet wolf in Due South manages to be one of these. That sarcasm comes across so naturally from a silent animal is indeed a triumph.
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch has Salem, a powerful warlock who was turned into a cat as punishment and by far the funniest character on the show.

• The Bots from Mystery Science Theater 3000 are definitely both non-human and snarky. They're programmed to keep their resident human from going mad from the isolation, which they frequently do by deliberately antagonizing him. The show's creators have said that edgy lines like "I want to decide who lives and who dies" are much more acceptable coming from a cute, dorky robot.

Radio

• Earthsearch 2 has cleaning robot Tidy and agricultural robot George. Unlike the Angels they are loyal and obedient but never happy about all the tasks they're constantly being forced to do that are outside their programming. Tidy has a Running Gag of complaining about all the mess he has to clean up, while George always gripes that Robots Are Just Better but it's no use expecting miracles from them.

Video Games

• AI: The Somnium Files: Aiba is the Virtual Sidekick of Date and/or Mizuki that resides in their artificial eye, and has a playfully sarcastic and deadpan attitude towards both of them. She'll often quip whenever her partner makes a questionable decision and react smarmily to their attempts at humor. Bonus points to her gelatinous hamster form that she takes when outside her partner's eye socket.
• Banjo-Kazooie: Banjo might be a bear, but he's much more anthropomorphic than his snarky bird companion, Kazooie. She is a rare female example.
• Captain Smiley from Comic Jumper: The Adventures of Captain Smiley has a talking star on his costume named, well...Star, who spends most of his time making cracks about just about anything...Smiley, Gerda, Smiley's enemies, himself, Smiley again. The only character safe from Star's sharp tongue is Smiley's muscle-headed nemesis Brad.
• The Interactive Fiction game A Day in the Life of a Super Hero features Smelly the parrot. In his own words, "I'm your comedy sidekick, meaning I'm handy for crapping at inopportune moments and making inappropriate comments but damn all use aside from that."
• In Drakengard games, Angelus, Legna, and Gabriella spare no snarky remark on your behalf, though it is understandable given what nutjobs the protagonists are. Mikhail is an exception, though it still applies to his predecessor, Michael, to some degree. Faerie, Leonard's pact partner, too.
• Paimon from Genshin Impact acts as the Voice for the Voiceless when the Traveler interacts with other characters, sometimes making snarky observations about the quest at hand or, in a few cases, giving the character an unflattering nickname.
• Griffon from Devil May Cry 5 is one of V's familiars, but he tends to be pretty snarky towards everyone. Both Nico and Dante usually call him "Little Chicken" in response.
• Dust: An Elysian Tail has no humans to start with, but Fidget is less humanoid than the other characters and Fun Size to boot. She's the source of most of the game's humor, though she tends to be the subject of snark almost as often as not.
• Daxter from Jak and Daxter, an "ottsel" who is ridiculously snarky, as well as a very, very Large Ham. History's smallest, fuzziest large ham, but in a good way. In actuality, he was once human (or the closest equivalent to humans within the setting) but was mutated by Dark Eco into his current form.
• Donald Duck has his moments in the Kingdom Hearts series. One example is when the party enter Agrabah in Kingdom Hearts II, with Sora and Goofy hoping King Mickey is with Aladdin; Donald responds with "Keep dreaming, you two."
• Knights of the Old Republic: HK-47 can be understood, unlike R2-D2, and fulfills the snarkmeister role far superiorly to any meatbag.

  Exile: Are you okay?
  HK-47: Answer: If by "okay", you mean the loss of almost all my existing assassination protocols, then no, I am not okay. Furthermore, I seem to have no discretionary control over my vocabulator, causing me to reveal my true function as an assassin droid of unrivaled sophistication.
  Exile: You look a lot like a series of droids that have attacked me.
  HK-47: Answer: Oh, that is impossible, master. If I were out to kill you, we would not be speaking.

• The Legend of Zelda:
  • Tatl, from Majora's Mask, qualifies as both this trope and Exposition Fairy, though she's vastly snarkier than Navi since originally she was the Skull Kid's companion and is sticking with Link out of necessity rather than choice. For instance, when examining enemies Link should be familiar with after Ocarina of Time, she usually says something along the lines of "What do you mean you don't know about this enemy?!" That being said, she slowly becomes friendlier with Link throughout the game, even if she never completely drops the snark.
  • In Twilight Princess we have Midna, also qualifying as The Imp and Exposition Fairy as well. At first she constantly teases Link and makes no secret that she couldn't care less for the fate of the Light World, only telling him bits and pieces of what's happening on a whim. She becomes noticeably less snarky towards Link after almost dying and being saved by Zelda sacrificing herself, having become personally invested in the conflict at hand and accepting that the two must work together if they wish to defeat Zant. From this point onwards Midna does her best to support Link and stops hiding things from him. Well, almost.
• Nall and Ruby from Lunar are adorable baby dragons that could get very snarky, especially in the localizations. Nall favors sarcastic quips while Ruby is a bit harsher and more direct with her remarks.

• Grimoire Weiss, a magical talking book from NieR always has something to snark about during battle. It doesn't help that it's never really clear just whose side he's on.
  • In the English dub, this is compounded as he is played by Liam O'Brien in full Lezard Valeth mode. If you didn't expect to have to fight Weiss at some point, you weren't paying attention. However, this never happens, and Nier and Weiss become something more like Vitriolic Best Buds.

• While the entire cast of Primordia (2012) consists of robots rather than humans, Crispin fits this trope, being a floating armless 'bot who follows around the humanoid protagonist Horatio. His snarkiness comes from being a homage to Morte.
  • The game hangs a lampshade on the trope on a few occasions, most notably when the duo meets Armstrong the bartender:
  Crispin: Boss, I need that arm!
  Horatio: Crispin, it appears to be a self-aware robot.
  Crispin: Now I need it even more. Can you imagine? "The Adventures of Crispin and His Arm"! For once, I would have a sidekick! He would crack jokes, and I would say lame things, like: "It appears to be a self-aware robot." Actually... On second thought? You can be the serious one, I'll be the sidekick.
• In a similar vein, Robot Buddy Clank of Ratchet & Clank, though Clank is the thoughtful member of the duo rather than a Large Ham.
  • "Mr. Zurkon is not here to satisfy your pathetic need for comic relief. Mr. Zurkon is only here to kill you."
• Rose, the cat familiar in Riviera: The Promised Land serves as a resident Deadpan Snarker and a Butt-Monkey of the team.
• Gouto-douji from Shin Megami Tensei : Devil Summoner.
• Centurion Tenebie Tenebrae from Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World, an ancient guardian spirit of darkness that...kind of looks like a doggie, at least according to Colette.

Web Animation

• The Cheat from Homestar Runner. Also The Unintelligible, so usually incapable of verbal snark. That's okay, Strong Bad has more than enough snark to go around. Somewhat ironic when you consider that physically Strong Bad is probably the most humanoid character in the cast.

Webcomics

• Burble from Broken Space is a short, surly alien with a needlessly large rifle.

• Myhrad the drageling (young dragon) from Chasing The Sunset is such an articulate pessimist he could give Marvin a run for his money. And he's absolutely adorable to boot.

• Subverted in Cwen's Quest, where the Snarky Non-Human Sidekick is female, well-behaved, and generally well-adjusted. Of course this doesn't stop her from snarking.
• Spark, a cat, from Dominic Deegan. One of the least snarky examples on this page. Mostly he's here for the puns.
• Ellis from Errant Story. He's not the only one, though. He fits in with the other characters who all are snarky and bordering on sociopathic. Paedagogusi (or if you prefer, "moth with tits") Chicanery has this going for her too, although the "sidekick" part of the meme is several thousand years in the past by story time.
• Girl Genius has Krosp, Agatha's cat(king!). "Is this one of those situations that involves 'ethics'? 'Cause I'm a cat, you know. I've never been very good at those." Despite this, being surrounded by Sparks, at times he can come off as the Morality Pet by comparison.
  Krosp: AAAH! A merry-go-round that can level a small town — seems a bit overboard for "self-defense!"
  Agatha: Well... it could be a really evil town.
  Krosp: Agatha!
  Agatha: Okay, okay.

• Reynardine from Gunnerkrigg Court is a dangerous demon, possessing a cuddle toy and kept in check by Antimony. It is worth noting that Reynardine can shift into a large, dignified-looking white wolf form, and is not nearly as snarky or foul-mouthed. His snark is apparently dependent on his mascot status, and there is some serious confusion regarding what he actually thinks about others (at least, anyone he doesn't regard with snarky apathy).
• Although she fits the qualification of being the resident Non-Human Sidekick-in-a-Webcomic, Molly the Monster in The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob! is innocent and naive rather than snarky — but she is nonetheless a source of much comic relief. And she certainly takes the cuteness option.
• Artie from Narbonic (a superintelligent talking gerbil) was originally presented as this, but became more developed as the story went on.
  Artie: I'm I fuzzy little animal who talks too much! I'm comic relief!
  Zeta: Congrats. You got promoted.
  • He's also the most idealistic, kind, and trusting member of the cast, the rest of which is explicitly evil.
• The Order of the Stick:

• Blackwing, Vaarsuvius' raven familiar. After the events of "Don't Split The Party", the bird becomes a more active member in the Order and more often acts as V' sounding board in this manner. Of course, Vaarsuvius can be just as snarky.
• The ever-present Demon-Roaches also do a pretty good job, on Xykon's side of things.

• Schlock Mercenary:
  • Ennesby. He's always ready for a snark or joke -one of his biggest disappointments when housing Tagii was her removal of his dictionary of puns from several thousand languages.
  • Eponymous sociopathic (and sometimes humanitarian) amorph Schlock himself. At one point he reminds them that he tastes and smells with his whole self, including his butt, then points out he's naked on the cab seat and it's not pleasant. Cue the other three people riding with him being thoroughly freaked out by the implications
• Nick Zerhakker from Skin Horse. He does have a human brain, but two out of three ain't bad. As a military combat helicopter (albeit unarmed) he is also the biggest member of the cast until Gavotte starts swarming. His snark is somewhat hampered by the speech synth censoring his swearing.

• The Something*Positive Creator Randy Milholland's own comic ego has a mascot in Rippy the Razor, who is himself occasionally shadowed by Fluffmodeus and the Misery Monkey.

• Robot from Zap! considers himself to be the Only Sane Man (well, AI), and consequently snarks like there's no tomorrow.
• Mr. Stinky from Flying Man and Friends is sort of an aversion: though he seems to be sociopathic and often serves as a punchline, you never actually hear what he "says". He did write a note once, though.
• Sir Percival Throckmorton Scruffs Esq, Eigth Viscount of Lower Hemmingwedge-on-the-Fritz, the rat sidekick from Guttersnipe is more pompous than snarky but still fits the trope.
• Fuzzy from Sam & Fuzzy started out as this, until eventually evolving into a more dramatic figure with equal billing with Sam as Cerebus Syndrome took hold.
• Effex and Aihok, the fairies in Arthur, King of Time and Space, aren't exactly sociopathic, although they do work with a woman who wants to Take Over the World. They just don't have much idea of consequences. They're more snarky (and even less sociopathic) in the modern arc, where they're fictional aliens.
• Subverted and lampshaded in Unintentionally Pretentious with Aibo, Mia's robotic guide dog.

• Asimov from Marooned communicates purely in snark, because he thinks John is an Idiot Hero. He's not wrong.
• A Girl and Her Fed gives us Speedy, resident genius sex-obsessed koala, whose whole purpose in life seems to be populating the world with his koala descendants and delivering snarky insults.

Web Videos

• Manatee Girl: The Movie has Baby Manatee, a Deadpan Snarker manatee Hand Puppet fond of making fun of the absurdity around him.
• In their video "Top 10 Mascots in Anime", Anime America creates a mascot for themselves: Tsumi, a mostly white vulpine creature who looks cute but to Robyn's disdain, has quite the snarky attitude.

Western Animation

• Falina from The Amazing Feats of Young Hercules is a wisecracking sable who accompanies Hercules on his journey. Although she was originally a human princess who was transformed as punishment by the vindictive goddess Hera; by the end, she is changed back.

• Porkchop, Doug's dog from Doug. While Porkchop can't speak, his expressions and body movements can show his snarkiness at times. Especially when his owner starts drifting into Cloudcuckoolander territory.

• Futurama:
  • Bender is a robotic sidekick who indulges in vices from gambling to strippers and often remarks upon "his" desire to kill his friends.
  • Kif Kroker vents his frustrated annoyance with his superior Zapp Brannigan with a steady stream of sarcasm.
• Custard becomes one of these to Strawberry Shortcake in the 2003 series.
• Rick from Rick and Morty created a female-voiced A.I. who resides in his garage and his car-spaceship. While she is a case of Benevolent A.I., she's still Rick's creation, and as a result, she's as sarcastic as you would expect. She occasionally engages in Snark-to-Snark Combat with Rick, and pretty much all of her dialogue to any other character who isn't Rick consists of snark.
• Rubilax, a Talking Weapon from Wakfu. Actually a sealed demon, and definitely a sociopath — if freed, his main occupation is senseless carnage. He compensates for his imprisonment by ruthlessly snarking at his idealistic guardian. Season 2 features loads of such sealed demons, all of them just as snarky as the other. Justified by one admitting in their sealed state it is pretty much all they can do.
• She-Ra: Princess of Power:
  • While he never turned this trait towards his boss, Imp from She-Ra: Princess of Power tended to be this when he felt sufficiently protected. One of his favorite targets was Shadow Weaver.
  • On the Rebellion's side, Kowl often had a rude or caustic comment, particularly toward Bow (who did sometimes rile him up). The guy was a cute fluffy owl-koala mix with huge multicolored ears he used for flying -but when he opened his beak, watch out.
• Brian from Family Guy, although he's often paired up with Stewie (as mutual sidekicks sort of), who together are the snarkiest characters on the show, in their own ways. But in terms of being Peter's dog, he'll ruthlessly snark on his "owner".
• In Sadie Sparks, Sadie is being trained in magic by a grumpy 700-year-old rabbit named Gilbert. Much snarking ensues.
• Gromit of Wallace & Gromit is a loyal dog and exemplary Silent Snarker. Through body language and Disapproving Looks he communicates an exasperation and devotion toward Bungling Inventor Wallace.
• SpongeBob SquarePants: Even though the series is set in a World of Funny Animals, there still exist creatures who act similar to real world animals, such as the titular character’s pet snail, Gary. Although he is meant to act like the underwater equivalent of a house cat, there has been more than one occasion where he acts like this instead.

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