I Hit You, You Hit The Ground

A crude diagram.

"There'll be only two blows struck: I'll hit him, and he'll hit the earth."

— Flip, Little Nemo, 1909-06-20

A phrase originating from... we're not really sure. The internet doesn't seem to know either. The implied threat is obvious: Screw with me, I'll punch your lights out. Obviously, it doesn't have to be the ground, just whatever surface is under your feet. A subtrope of Badass Boast, and related somewhat to Chew Bubblegum. Not to be confused with Meteor Move. For when this actually occurs, see One-Hit Kill.

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Examples:

Film

• Billy Jack: The Signature Scene of both the film and its entire series, the fight scene in the park, has the title character issuing this threat to Posner and then making good on his threat.
  Billy Jack: I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face... and you wanna know something? There's not a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it.
  Posner: [sarcastically] Really.
  Billy Jack: [nodding] Really.
• In The Breakfast Club, Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez) says to John Bender (Judd Nelson), "Two hits: Me hitting you, you hitting the floor." Awesomely followed up with him proving it - though the wrestling version, not the boxing version.
• In Inglourious Basterds, Sgt. Donny Donowitz says this to a Nazi soldier when leading him to be interrogated by Lt. Aldo Raine.
• The Devil's Rejects, Captain Spaulding to Otis Driftwood during a tense moment; "Two hits; I hit you, your dick hits the dirt!"
• Subverted in the first live action Scooby-Doo movie, When Shaggy and Scooby are about to fight each other over Scooby accusing Shaggy's love interest of being one of the monsters Shaggy says;
  "There will be two hits, I'll hit you, and then I'll hit you again."
• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World has a little bit of a variant. "The first click is me hanging up the phone. The second is me pulling the trigger."
• Kingsman: The Secret Service: Dean threatens this to Eggsy when he confronts him over his, Eggsy's, mother's black eye.

Live-Action TV

• A play on this phrase occurs in Workaholics, where Blake says "There'll be two hits. Me hitting you, and Kid Rock's "Bawitaba" playing in the background."
• Variation from Titus; Ken Titus says to his girlfriend's gay ex-husband, "There's gonna be three hits; me hitting you, you hitting the floor, then you hitting on the ambulance driver."
• In "The Fight" episode of The Office (US), Steve Carell's character gets the line just a bit wrong: "Two punches: Me punching you, you hitting the floor."
• In Mike & Molly, apparently Molly starts a bar brawl at one point. She remarks that it wasn't much of a brawl; she hit the offender once, and the offender hit the floor.
• Subverted in Community, when Hickey threatens, "If I come over there, there are gonna be two sounds: me hitting you...twice."
• Letterkenny gives us Shoresy, a first-rate trash-talker who's one of the greats when it comes to the Your Mom joke, but has a real knack for this line as well. Usually, it's directed at Jonesy and Reilly.
  Shoresy: Fight me, see what happens!
  Reilly: Oh yeah, what's gonna happen, Shoresy?
  Shoresy: Three things; I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver's side door handle!

Music

• Variation in a Will Smith song: "Three hits, I hit you, you hit the floor; this track is the third hit, that's for sure!"
• Sick Puppies' song "You're Going Down": "When my fist hits your face; and your face hits the floor". The more common censored version of the song (most of the edits are earlier on( changes it slightly to "With my fist in your face, and your face on the floor".
• Mindless Self Indulgence's song "Lights Out" is about a guy who enjoys the mindless ultraviolence that can come with this trope: "Punch your lights out, hit the pavement, that's what I call entertainment!"
• Guns N' Roses, "It's So Easy": "See me hit you, you fall down!"
• And inverted in Metallica's "The Day That Never Comes"
  You pull away, he hits the flesh
  You hit the ground
• Titus Andronicus' song "Arms Against Atrophy":
  It was just the two hits
  I remember nothing more
  Only Alex hitting the switch
  and me hitting the floor

Newspaper Comics

• Older Than Television: Little Nemo, 1909-06-20
  Flip: There'll be only two blows struck: I'll hit him, and he'll hit the earth.

Professional Wrestling

• The stage-name of the late Bam Bam Bigelow was derived from this.
• A variation of this comes from Harley Race: "If I hit him with my left [hand] and he doesn't go down, I will walk around him to see what's holding him up."

Video Games

• Punch-Out!!: This trope is alluded to by Disco Kid in his Title Defense match during one of the intermission cutscenes.

"I have a three-step program for you. I punch you, you fall down, I win!"

• In Fallout 3, one of companion Jericho's battlecries is "Two hits, kid! Two hits!" (Oddly enough, his default weapon fires three-round bursts.)
• League of Legends: Kled attempts to use this threat, but collapses into pure Angrish half-way.
  "There's fixin' to be TWO sounds! Me hittin' you, an' BIYAYAHGUH!"
• In a Beatem Up Flash game based on The Brak Show, Zorak dispenses a series of one-liners to various adversaries as they fall, including "Face, meet fist; ass, meet floor!"
• Warframe: Confronting a Kuva Lich with the "Jovial" personality can have him deliver this line:
  Kuva Lich: 97 Hits! Me hitting you, you hitting the floor.... then me hitting you 95 more times.

Webcomics

• A variation in How I Killed Your Master: "I don't know what it's like to hit a man twice."

Web Original

• Kind of a variation from Old Man Murray: "You be Sonny Bono, and I'll be a tree. You hit me and die."
• On one of the "Mr. T facts" pages, there was this gem: "If you try to fight Mr. T, it will end in two hits. Him hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the sun"
• Persona 4 Endurance Run: Episode 93. "This will be over in two hits, Yosuke. Me hitting the X button and you hitting the floor."
• Parodied when Twitter user Steve says "There's only gonna be 12 hits; me hitting you, you hitting the floor, then me listening to the Eagles Greatest Hits"
  • Inverted when Twitter user Tom Bro Dude claims that a fight with him will only have four hits: "You hitting me... And me hitting 9, then me hitting 1, and then me hitting 1 again"

Western Animation

• During one music video review on Beavis And Butthead, Butt-head does this to Beavis when he keeps telling him to shut up. But, being Butt-head, he doesn't quite get how you're supposed to do it.
  "Beavis, there's going to be two hits. My fist hitting your face, and, uhh... my fist hitting your face again."
• In the episode of The Ren & Stimpy Show "Sven Hoek", a tranquilly furious Ren says to Stimpy and Sven that "I'm gonna hit ya...and you're gonna faaaaaaall."
• In The Smurfs (1981) episode "Gargamel's Giant", badass wannabe Tuffy tells the Smurfs about the fight he and Hefty got into with Azrael, and Hefty interrupts the story and says there were only two hits: Azrael hit Tuffy, and Tuffy hit the ground. After that, everybody leaves.
• From the Film Within A Show "Banjo" on Bob's Burgers, "There's gonna be two shots: Me shooting you, and then me taking this shot of whiskey." *BANG*
• Subverted in the Adventure Time episode, "The Party's Over, Isla de Senorita".
  Party God: There's going to be two hits, bro. Me hitting you and the second instance of me hitting you.

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