Step 1: Say, "What has two thumbs and [self-description]?"
Step 2: Hold up both hands at chest level, fingers curled and thumbs out, with the thumbs pointing toward yourself.
Step 3: (optional) "This [guy/girl]!"
Especially popular with the snarky and Jerkasses.
Here is a compilation
with a lot of examples of this trope.
Examples
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Advertising
- A Travelocity commercial had the virtuous-yet-put-upon female worker forced into a plane trip with the boorish male co-worker, who at one point is seen doing the "this guy" move, though the entire joke isn't portrayed.
- Expedia had at least one commercial showing an imagine spot of a Jerkass using this routine.
- Gamestop advertised an upcoming game with the quote "Who has two thumbs and loves killing Greek gods?"
- A radio ad for GEICO has a man tell how he saves money by sending mail via pidgeon. After admitting that his mail usually doesn't end up at its assigned destination he says "...but who has two thumbs and isn't buying stamps? This guy!"
Comic Books
- A Sid The Sexist strip in Viz from back in the 1990s had "What's got two thumbs, speaks French and likes bler jobs?" (The answer, of course, was Moi, and the speaker was injured by the recipient of this chat up line.)
Film
- In Alien: Resurrection, the smitten, wheelchair-bound mechanic tells this joke to the new girl mechanic, Call.
Vriess: What's got two thumbs, one eyes, and screws like a god?Call: (gives him a humored look) What?Vriess: (closes one eye and points to himself)Call: (chuckles before pressing the button sending him back under the machine)
- In Insomnia, said by one of the Sheriff's deputies: "Who has two thumbs and loves blowjobs?"
- In The Limey, Nicky Katt's character tells the "loves blowjobs" variety.
- In Moana; Maui's "I Am Great!" Song "You're Welcome" features the line:
What has two thumbs and pulled up the sky
When you were waddling yea high? This guy! - In Year One: "Who has two thumbs and wants another hot oil rub?"
Live-Action TV
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine:
- In "Unsolvable", Jake shows up in the precinct handcuffed to someone he just arrested.
Jake: What has three thumbs and just made another arrest? This guy! (to the criminal) It doesn't work unless you put your thumb up.
- In "Admiral Peralta", Roger is in the hospital, recovering from having his thumbs reattached and congratulating Jake on his impending fatherhood. But then:
Roger: Hey, who's got two surgically reattached thumbs and is super proud of his son?
Jake: Oh, you don't have to...
Roger: This guy.
(Roger points his thumbs at himself, then screams in pain)
- In "Unsolvable", Jake shows up in the precinct handcuffed to someone he just arrested.
- A Castle outtake involved Nathan Fillion ad-libbing the following:
Castle: What has two thumbs and a date with a prostitute? This guy!
- In Community, when Shirley asks Abed to make a film for her church.
Shirley: Guess who's got two thumbs and has an exciting career opportunity for you? (holds thumbs in front of her, pointing upwards) This guy! (beat) I'm pointing my thumbs at God.Abed: (thumbs up) I'm using one thumb to say that's great.
- In Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Greg sings a song called "I Gave You a UTI", which has the lyric "What has two thumbs and gave you a UTI? This guy!".
- Variation on the June 16, 2010, episode of The Daily Show: "Who has four fingers and resigned in disgrace? This Guy.".
- In The Good Place, when Janet is acting as a therapist for Jason and Tahani and one of her thumbs flies off.
Janet: If I'm helping you guys I say, "What has one thumb and wants to keep going?" (points at herself with her thumb and hand that is missing a thumb) This not-lady.
- It originally comes from Fonzie on Happy Days: 'Who's cool and has two thumbs? This guy!"
- Trev from Season 8 of Hell's Kitchen did this occasionally. Sometimes self-deprecatingly:
Trev: Who doesn't know how to make a salad? *points* This guy!
- How I Met Your Mother: Ted joined a protest group fighting against demolishing a building. Ted was doing this to appease his emotionally abusive girlfriend, but rationalized it by saying he was fighting to save the architect's vision. That architect visited Ted in a dream (in the dream he was played by Barney).
Architect!Barney: Ted, you must not save the Arcadian. It is an architecturally unimportant eyesore that was designed by an over-payed ether-addicted plagiarist with two thumbs. This guy!
- Ram in the How to Be Indie episode "How to Have Your Samosa and Eat It Too":
Who has two thumbs and some of the best cooking in the world? This guy!
- Once used mockingly by Jim in The Office after being noticeably irritated by Todd Packer's use of this.
Jim: "Who has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer?"
- Bob Kelso from Scrubs has employed this a number of times.
- Succession: Roman is sweating bullets because he could face prison time if any deaths resulted from the explosion of the satellite he incompetently oversaw. When he learns that the worst injuries amounted to the loss of two thumbs, he callously celebrates by saying, "What has two thumbs and didn't kill anyone?"
- That '70s Show: In the first episode of season 2, "Garage Sale", Hyde bakes a batch of special brownies, prompting Kelso to say "You know what's got two thumbs and really likes brownies?" (points thumbs at himself) This guy!"
- Played with in that Kelso had previously stated that he likes brownies normally about a second before he says the above line.
- 30 Rock: "Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!"
- Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: The No Celebrities Were Harmed versions of Marcia Clark and Chris Darden admit that they're famously incompetent Los Angeles lawyers, but also that "he's in prison now, so what has four thumbs and loosened up that jelly jar?"
- Trina and then Andre in Victorious did this in the episode "The Birthweek Song".
Newspaper Comics
- In the March 13th 2012 Dilbert strip, Dilbert reads about the possibilities of there being billions of versions of the earth in millions of universes and wonders "..if there's a version of me out there who loves his job.". In the next panel labeled Meanwhile on XPQ-75... a three armed woman approaches a three armed Dilbert.
3 Armed Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a shoulder massage?3 Armed Dilbert: This guy!
Professional Wrestling
- Rob Van Dam implies this.
Radio
- In one episode of John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, Finnemore tells a spine-chilling Burke and Hare parody about an Edinburgh thimble factory, a supplier of thumbs who claimed to be getting them from a combined distillery and bacon-slicer, and of the terrible choice the factory owner gave him: to allow Pratt and Rabbit to continue in their trade, or to sacrifice his own thumbs.
Finnemore: And that is why my answer to the question "What has two thumbs and a conscience stained black as pitch?" must forever be "This guy!"
Standup Comedy
- One Stephen Lynch routine parodies the old days of vaudeville, with David Josefsberg.
David: Stephen...Stephen: Yes David...David: Who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?Stephen: I don't know David, who has two thumbs and likes blowjobs?David: This guy!
- Ellie Taylor played on this trope with her tour title "This Guy" and a picture of her pointing to herself with her thumbs.
Video Games
- Dark Souls II has the physical aspect of this trope in the form of the "This one's me" gesture.
- Kid Icarus: Uprising has one.
Pit: Who has two thumbs and loves hot springs? EVERYONE WITH TWO THUMBS!
- In Tales from the Borderlands, during the final battle where Gortys is mimicking the casts' fighting abilities to defeat the Vault monster, Rhys says "Who's got two big thumbs and just had his finger guns come back online? This guy!"
- Tales of Xillia 2 gives one to Muzét, during one of her Character Episodes.
Muzét: What has two thumbs and found a Harpy!?Gaius: Muzét, you are acting strangely.
Webcomics
- In The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, The Abs Man attempts this but fails due to him omitting too much of the setup line.
"What has two thumbs and is like a tool shed?" "This guy.""You're a tool shed. What does that have to do with the girl?"
- This Cyanide and Happiness strip.
- In A Girl and Her Fed, Speedy tries this, but is foiled by not having thumbs. (This is unintentionally hilarious for a completely different reason: real Koalas actually have four thumbs.)
- This trope is parodied with in TheOdd1sOut's comic "Two Thumbs".
- In Tweep, Lily is full of awesome.
- In Paranatural, Max does this in the background, but uses his pointer finger instead of his thumbs. He silently corrects himself in the next two panels.
- One time in The Petri Dish, Thaddeus Euphemism says, "What has two thumbs and just aligned the cytosine nucleotide of a DNA molecule? This guy!" and bursts out laughing. Bob thinks it's because he's increased his testosterone as part of a project, even though testosterone doesn't work that way, those with estrogen can act that way too, and it's not that out of character for Thaddeus to use slang, especially when he's trying to be cool.
- Played for very sad and serious drama near the end of Chapter 4 of Sunstone after Anne tells both Ally and Lisa to go to hell. (NSFW)
Lisa: What has two thumbs and is a weapons-grade hypocrite? This girl!
- From the Alt Text of this xkcd, which is about the relative obscurity and importance of a variety of things one could learn: "Guess who has two thumbs and spent the night in an ER after trying to rescue a kitten that ran under his car at a stoplight and climbed up into the engine compartment? And, thanks to antibiotics, will continue having two thumbs? THIS GUY. (P.S. kitten is safe!)"
- Played with in Skin Horse when Sweetheart does her own version after a faux pas with Remy.
Guess who's got no thumbs and made an ass of herself? This girl.
Web Original
- The Literal Video Version of "Billie Jean" has Who has two thumbs and likes BJ?/ The answer's this guy!/ This guy likes Billie Jean!/ (That's what I thought BJ means!).
- In this Cracked article about bizarre animal drug testing describes a hypothetical human volunteer for an experiment involving methamphetamines and electricity as having two thumbs, not minding tasers and loving meth. The article then describes another hypothetical volunteer, Jimmy Handclaws, as not having two thumbs but still loving meth.
- Subverted in Critical Role when Scanlan tries it on a young mapmaker who's just lost an arm.
Scanlan: Who has two thumbs and is glad to be alive? You and me both doing this! (thumbs up)
- Dragonball Z Abridged does a spoof on it, combined with a Pre-emptive Declaration.
Eighteen: So, who has two broken arms and is a total bitch?Vegeta: You... stupid... bint... You only broke one of my- [*CRACK*] AAAAAAAAAAIIII!Eighteen: This guy.
- After announcing himself the winner of a contest he created, Josh Ramsay of Marianas Trench then declared "Hey, what has two thumbs and just won the contest? This guy!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H70x96msjsY
- Is It a Good Idea to Microwave This?: Jory uses this in one of the Don't Try This at Home disclaimers.
Western Animation
- Almost Naked Animals: In "Cool Paw Howie", Howie (who has turned the hotel into a minimum security prison) asks his staff "Who has two thumbs and likes running a prison?". However, as none of the staff like running a prison, he gets no response.
- Ask The Story Bots: In the spin-off show Storybots Super Songs, Beep asks the kids on the monitors what they think of when they think of the color blue. After a long montage of the kids (and even a few of the StoryBots) replying with "the sky", Beep gets annoyed and says she'll get upset if she hears the phrase one more time. Bang rolls in and asks "What has two thumbs and is blue all over? This guy." while pointing to himself. Beep just looks at him in annoyance and goes offscreen to lie down.
- The Loud House:
- In "Changing the Baby", Clyde says, "What has two thumbs and totally wants to hang out with his best friend! This guy!". Later in the same episode, he says to Lily, "What has four thumbs and loves milk? These guys!". Lily copies Clyde when he points to himself for "these guys".
- In "No Place Like Homeschool", when the Loud siblings (except Lily) follow Lola's lead in getting homeschooled, Lana says, "Guess who has 18 thumbs and is also doing homeschool? Us guys."
- In "Season's Cheatings", Lincoln asks Clyde, "Guess who has two arms and a Rip Hardcore backpack to slip over them?" Cue Clyde instinctively saying, "This guy!" about himself before correcting himself and realizing it's Lincoln.
- In the Spin-Off The Casagrandes, the episode "Short Cut" has Carl say, "Who has two thumbs and is muy guapo? This guy!"
- In Robot Chicken's parody of the dinner at Cloud City, guess who "has two thumbs and betrayed his friends?" That's right, Lando.
