Breaking In Old Habits

"You slipped and fell into a robot hand?"
"Yes."
"Penis first?"

"Practice on a hot dog first. Otherwise you might rip your dick off."

— Medtech, Family Guy, "Something Something Something Dark Side"

For some odd reason or another, a character receives a new hand(s), or is now capable of using their hands, etc. The instant implication is that the hands will then be used for masturbation, or are designed for this deed.

See also Man, I Feel Like a Woman, another trope where a man's first instinct on changing his body is to be a pervert.

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Examples:

Films — Live-Action

• Deadpool (2016): After cutting off and regrowing his hand to escape Colossus, Deadpool makes clear his plans to his blind elderly lady roommate. It's specifically shown that his hand quickly grows from infant to adult, so yeah, Pool is going to be using a baby hand for that job.

Literature

• One of the Eighth Doctor Adventures novels involves a war veteran who has an injury that causes his arm to constantly shake. A woman jokes about the "advantages", making the Doctor confused and everyone else uncomfortable and embarrassed.
• The Expanse: Discussed in Leviathan Wakes. A minor character loses his hand in a setting where good prosthetics exist, and another character tells him there's a period in the prosthetic acclimatization that he should take advantage of where you have enough control over the hand to masturbate, but it still doesn't feel like it's your hand doing it.

Live-Action TV

• The Big Bang Theory: Casanova Wannabe Howard puts together a highly dexterous robot hand at the start of the episode and uses it to give himself a back massage, the efficacy of which quickly makes him realize what other body parts it can operate on. This ends up backfiring when the hand unexpectedly breaks down, forcing him to go to the hospital to try and get it removed, much to his embarrassment. Judging from the urgent phone-call Leonard gets from Howard at the end of the episode, he didn't learn his lesson;
  Leonard: What do you mean it happened again?
• The Expanse: In "Cibola Burn", Amos gets his hand shot off by Murtry. Thanks to advanced medical technology, he's grown it back by the end of the episode. When Alex compliments the new hand, Amos cheerfully says he's "gonna try it out right now" and heads off to his quarters, leaving Alex looking appropriately disturbed.
• In one episode of The One Show, Peter Kay is in the studio during an item on robotic prosthetic hands. They have an example of the breed on the desk, and he jokingly asks to take it home a number of times, with the heavy implication that he plans to do this.

Theatre

• Happens with Jambi the Genie in the original Pee-Wee Herman Show stage play.

Video Games

• Mentioned in MadWorld by Kreese, one of the game's co-commentators (why yes, it is a very crass broadcast) with regards to Jack ziplining across arenas with wires. Jack is able to brave through the jagged wires thanks to one of his hands already being metal, but for Kreese...
  Kreese: I slid down a wire once! Couldn't jerk off for two days!
  Howard: Took you two days to heal?
  Kreese: Took four weeks to heal, I just had no willpower.

Webcomics

• Exploitation Now: Among other improvements, Jordan Kennedy fitted her prosthetic hand with a vibrator mode...
• In Goblins, Dies-Horribly loses his hand in an adventurer attack, but a friendly refugee from a Douglas Adams novel saves him and gives him a replacement limb, made from a strange form of living metal. It's got the strength of metal, but is nearly as light as his original flesh, and can instantly reform if damaged. It also grows hooks, barbs and sharp edges on reflex if Dies-Horribly is scared (which happens a lot). Dies-Horribly comments that he'll have to be more careful where he puts that hand, demonstrating it with a... recognizable motion. He then immediately denies the implications, claiming that he meant scratching an itch.
  Dies-Horribly: For a floating, metal orb, you sure have a perverted mind!
• God Mode once explores the prospect of masturbating with a God Hand.
• A variation in The Order of the Stick: upon being resurrected, one of the first things Roy does is lose his virginity with Celia. Interestingly, the trope isn't even mentioned when Roy actually became a woman.
• In the Rooster Teeth comic, Gus gets a robotic arm like the one in the Bionic Commando remake, and tries breaking it in. Cut to him laying comatose in a hospital with the doctor calling for the dick specialist.
• In the Unsounded universe, some models of simulacra include features for this very purpose.
• Although Paul of Yahtzee Takes on the World has had the bionic arm for quite a while by this point, King Penguin is the first to point this trope out to him.

Web Original

• In this story from Not Always Hopeless, the teenage recipient of a heart transplant sets off an alert by " 'test driving' his new heart". Even the bereaved parents of his donor get a good laugh about it.
• Discussed in the form of a meta example from RWBY. After Yang gets her arm sliced off and is given a robotic replacement, someone in an interview asked the arm vibrated. Miles Luna and Arryn Zech try to keep it PG, but Barbara Dunkelman (Yang's VA) has none of it.
  Barbara: I like to imagine, instead of a vibration, it's like, the hand just spins.

Western Animation

• Surprisingly inverted in an episode of American Dad!. Steve's hand is rendered numb, and the implication is that he will try to give himself a "stranger". However, he is robbed of the sexual experience of getting to second base, because he can't feel anything.
• Ben 10: Alien Force: One of Ben's alien enemies is trapped in a duplicate of Ben's body. Among his complaints: the hands, which have an alarming tendency to scratch "places I suspect are inappropriate".
• In an episode of Code Monkeys, Jerry gets a replacement hand, a la Darth Vader. To make sure it works, Dave blindfolds Jerry, and then has him test it out on him.
• Family Guy Presents: Laugh It Up, Fuzzball:
  • In "Something Something Something Dark Side", Chris/Luke Skywalker gets a replacement hand. The conversation between him and the doctor is the page quote.
  • In "It's a Trap!", Herbert/Obi-Wan suggests Chris test it out by pretending he's pulling a carrot out of the ground.
• Futurama:
  • In "I Dated a Robot", Fry's hands get eaten by a T. rex. He's then taken to a "Handcrafters" store to get new hands. He says "I'll break them in tonight."
  • In "The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings", Fry switches hands with the Robot Devil. While the Robot Devil's hands immediately try to choke Fry, the robot devil complains that Fry's hands "keep touching me! In places!". Fry responds: "Yeah, they get around".
• The "practice on a hot dog" line was earlier said in The Venture Brothers, in the true history of Billy's hand.

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