Literature / Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke

What have you done today to deserve your eyes?

Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke is a 2021 queer horror novella by Eric LaRocca. Originally published on its own, it was later reprinted with two additional stories as Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke And Other Misfortunes.

In the year 2000, two gay women - Agnes Petrella and Zoe Cross - meet online as Agnes attempts to sell a family heirloom. As their relationship develops, they find themselves succumbing to a spiral of depravity.

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Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke provides examples of the following tropes:

• Abusive Parents: Though the book does not detail any abuse on the part of Agnes' parents, they do immediately reject their daughter when she comes out, and apparently left her with her abusive aunt.
• Arc Words: The question "what have you done today to deserve your eyes?" first shows up as part of a story Zoe tells, and is referenced a few times afterwards, usually in reference to Zoe's psychological hold over Agnes.
• Bad People Abuse Animals: The point where it's apparent Zoe is not as nice of a person as she appears is where she commands Agnes to find a salamander in the park and kill it.
• Body Horror: Two instances are especially bad:
  • In part 4, Zoe details a dream she had in which Agnes' skin is burned off in a nuclear explosion.
  • In part 5, Agnes' descriptions of her tapeworm infection.
• Domestic Abuse: Zoe initially sets herself up as a Dominatrix, promising to take care of Agnes as long as the latter remains her slave. However, as the story unfolds her actions appear closer to this trope. Not quite played straight, as by the end Agnes and Zoe never meet each other in real life.
• Downer Ending: Oh boy, is it ever. Zoe cuts off communication with Agnes after seemingly having a crisis of conscience. A few days later, Agnes passes her tapeworm, crushing her dream of being a mother and completing her Sanity Slippage. At the end, it is all but stated that she commits suicide. The one, tiny bright spot, mentioned in the Author's Notes, is that Zoe may be convicted for what she's done.
• Driven to Suicide: Not directly stated, but it is easy to infer that this is how Agnes dies.
• Epistolary Novel: The entire story is conveyed through emails and chat logs between Agnes and Zoe.
• Eye Scream: It is implied from the final words of the novel that Agnes commits suicide by gouging her own eyes out with the apple peeler.

The peeler trembles in my hand.
I close my eyes, and for a moment I wonder if I truly deserve them today.

• Foregone Conclusion: The author's notes at the beginning let the reader know that Agnes does not survive the events of the book.
• Parasitic Horror: In part 4, Zoe convinces Agnes to eat raw meat that has been left out for days, purposefully infecting herself with a tapeworm in order to fulfill Agnes' desire to be a mother.
• Sanity Slippage: Agnes falls into this hard towards the end of the book.
• Significant Wardrobe Shift: Invoked. One of Zoe's first commands for Agnes is to go out and buy a red dress and bright red lipstick to wear at work, supposedly as a symbol of Agnes recognizing her "true worth as a person". This earns her a scolding from her boss.
• Time Skip: About a month and a half passes between parts 3 and 4, during which Agnes broke off all contact with Zoe after the latter convinced her to kill a salamander.
• Title Drop: One occurs near the end, in an email from Agnes to Zoe. It's in reference to the fact that the tapeworm inside her is beginning to pass.