What if Sun Tzu had been born on Qo'noS instead of Earth?
He would have written The Klingon Art of War — or, as the Klingons themselves call it, qeS'a'.
Part of the Star Trek Novel 'Verse, The Klingon Art of War: Ancient Principles of Ruthless Honor is an ancient text based on ten precepts that are meant to provide guidance in not just combat, but honorable living in general. Dating from sometime after the life of the great Kahless (and even incorporating some of his teachings), this guide has been analyzed and reinterpreted by numerous generations of Klingon warriors and clerics. Presented here is the most modern version, along with commentary by the great author K'Ratak, son of M'Lind, and translated into English by Keith R. A. DeCandido.
Tropes of Honor Include:
- Badass Bookworm: K'Ratak himself, by Klingon standards. He's a writer, not a soldier, but he's also an expert in mok'bara and even killed a troll who sufficiently pissed him off.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: K'Ratak thinks it strange that Vulcans consider "philosopher" to be a full-fledged occupation.
- The Commandments: It's a list of precepts for honorable living. There are even ten of them.
- Driven to Suicide: There are several tales that end with someone committing Mauk-to'Vor. One example is the opera singer Qaov, who develops an enmity with composer Tarrant and swears to never perform in one of his operas. Then Tarrant writes an opera in which one of the characters is Kortar (the first Klingon ever created — who, along with his mate, slew the gods who had created them), whom Qaov has always wanted to play. Presented with his life's dream by his hated enemy, Qaov simply can't bury the hatchet, so he goes home and kills himself.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: This is the situation faced by Qorvak. He was the chief aide of Biroq, the war hero who conquered the Samnatti of Ty'Gokor and was honored by Emperor Kaldon as the first Dahar Master. The two had a Brains and Brawn dynamic — Qorvak devised the tactics while Biroq led the troops and gave the speeches, so Biroq received the credit for their victories. Filled with jealousy, Qorvak murdered Biroq in his sleep and was condemned as a Dirty Coward.
- I Gave My Word: One story about Kang comes from when he was the first officer on the Krim's Run, which had been dispatched to fight depredators at the Kromrat colony. Kang promised the farmers that they would not be subjected to an Orbital Bombardment that would damage their crops — but Captain L'Kaln ignored Kang's promise and ordered the bombardment anyway. Kang responded by challenging him for command — and won, stopping the bombardment.
- Jerkass Gods: While it's known that the ancient Klingons killed their own gods, qeS'a' gives a new version of the story in which the gods (starting with Wa'Joh'a') take advantage of their worshippers by demanding more and more from them and giving them fewer and fewer rewards. Eventually, Kortar and his mate Baka amass an army and kill the gods.
- Klingon Scientists Get No Respect: Notably averted by K'Ratak himself, who speaks well of all Klingons who live their lives by the ten precepts. This even includes a janitor, whose only "battle" is against dirt on the floor.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Very Downplayed on the "feminine" part (a word which doesn't seem to apply to Klingons), but K'Ratak's afterword describes M'Lind as somewhat more diplomatic than his wife regarding their opinions on qeS'a'.
- Neither of them had a high opinion of it before reading it; M'Lind described it as a "relic of a bygone age, useful for clerics, perhaps, but not for modern Klingons" while his wife said "If I want the wisdom of Kahless, I'll read the sacred texts, not some anonymous idiot's interpretation of them."
- After M'Lind read qeS'a', he admitted that it had some good points; his wife, however, threw the padd across the room after reading only one precept.
- "Not So Different" Remark: On one speaking tour in The Federation, K'Ratak speaks to a Vulcan philosopher who read qeS'a' and discusses how a logical Vulcan can appreciate it as much as any Klingon warrior."I found the precepts to be surprisingly logical. While the barbarity of the descriptions of warfare are distasteful, the underlying principles behind them are sound. In particular, I admire the concept of seeking adversity. As Vulcans, we strive for intellectual challenges, and while the pursuit of a point of logic or a scientific inquiry may not be the same as a glorious battle to be won, the concept of challenging oneself is still a valid one, and a lesson that many could afford to learn."
- Not So Similar: At a speaking engagement in the Federation, a young Trill asks K'Ratak what the difference is between the way that both Klingons and Romulans would rather die than be taken prisoner. K'Ratak answers by telling of battles fought between the two powers; the Romulans would self-destruct and kill themselves, while the Klingons would take the Romulans into death with them, citing one particular battle where two Klingon warships rammed a Romulan flagship, destroying all three.
- Rigged Spectacle Fight: A warlord named Pohm once set himself up to look like a great warrior by arranging duels against weak opponents dressed up to look mighty. He was eventually defeated by a real warrior, and his deception was exposed to all.
- Too Dumb to Live:
- The warrior at Quin'lat who refused to take shelter when a storm approached. The text makes it clear that he was a fool for thinking that he could stand against a storm.
- One troll repeatedly disparages K'Ratak — and then approaches him and asks for his editorial advice. Turns out that Bullying a Dragon ends as poorly for Klingons as it does for humans.
- Troll: K'Ratak speaks of one particularly honorless critic who doesn't simply criticize his books (which he can gracefully accept), but disparages him as a Klingon and even insults his mate. K'Ratak does his best to ignore the petaQ and consider him Not Worth Killing until the day when he approaches K'Ratak and asks for advice regarding a novel of his own. That proves to be the breaking point."At that point, I had little choice but to kill the fool.[...]I did not choose him as an enemy, but he chose me, and he did not live to regret that choice."
- Worthy Opponent: The first precept is "Choose your enemies well." It advises one to not choose an enemy so powerful that the only outcome is a pointless Curb-Stomp Battle, nor an enemy so weak that victory means nothing, nor an enemy who could be a better friend.
