It's all in there, even the lemons.
There’s a faceless old woman who secretly lives in everyone’s home, but no one knows how she got there or where she came from ... until now.
A 2020 novel by Jeffrey Cranor and Joseph Fink, the creators of Welcome to Night Vale and featuring characters from it.
Over two hundred years ago, a girl with a face was born on the Mediterranean Sea. How she became an old woman, how she lost her face, and how she came to be deeply interested in Craig's love life, is a tale of piracy and plunder, murder and mystery, revolution and revenge.
The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home contains examples of:
- Anti-Hero: The Faceless Old Woman is this at the very least, if not a Villain Protagonist. She engages in all manner of criminal acts, including murder of innocents, in pursuit of revenge against the people who murdered her father.
- Bait the Dog: At first, one could almost think that the Faceless Old Woman is manipulating Craig because in her own twisted way, she cares about him and wants him to be happy. While she is fond of him, she is actually steering him towards marriage so he will have a son. Then she will kill him, just as she killed all his male ancestors going back to the man who killed her own father. After Craig's son grows up and has a son of his own, she'll kill him too - and so on and so on in an endless cycle.
- Batman Gambit: The Faceless Old Woman decides that she will destroy the Order of the Labyrinth from the inside. To do this, she will need to come to their attention, be recruited into their ranks, and rise through the organization. Thus, she begins by plotting the spectacular downfall of Lady Nora of Luftnarp.
- The Beard: A subversion: Rebekah is actually a woman disguised as a man, and married to a gay woman who can't be out in their conservative Jewish community.
- Because You Were Nice to Me: Vlad is offered his heart's desire to betray the Faceless Old Woman. He accepts the offer and stabs her, but is careful to do it in a way that will not kill her, causing her enemies to believe that she is dead so she can escape. When she asks why, he replies, "You are my captain."
- Bittersweet Ending: The Faceless Old Woman, despite becoming a literal monster, finds a purpose to her existence and is, after a fashion, happy. This purpose is haunting and horrifically murdering all of Edmond's male descendants for the rest of time. Uh... yay?
- Black Widow: Eleanor is a subversion - she actually loves her husband, but she's lived under the control of her father her whole life and thinks the freedom of widowhood is worth losing her spouse.
- Coming and Going: Eleanor has sex with her husband one last time before killing him.
- Death by Childbirth: The Faceless Old Woman's mother died giving birth to her.
- Eldritch Location: The country of Franchia has no inhabitants at all, despite being completely covered by apparently human-made arches, courtyards, and staircases. Entire armies have been swallowed up by it, with only a handful of survivors escaping to swear that they've wandered across way more territory than its borders should encompass. It's convenient as a politically neutral location for things like signing treaties, but nobody likes to spend the night there.
- Even the Guys Want Him: Andre is so beautiful and charming that almost no one can resist trying to impress him.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: It's a story about a woman who doesn't have a face, is over two hundred years old, and is in your house without your knowledge. Probably using your Netflix account.
- First Girl Wins: Subverted. The Woman does eventually get engaged to Albert - but she leaves him before the wedding.
- Master of Disguise: Rebekah can transform herself so smoothly that she's been known to have conversations between personas.
- No Name Given: The title character never tells the reader what her name is.
- Pirate Girl: The Faceless Old Woman during her time as captain of the Wasp.
- Poison Ring: Eleanor stores the poison that she uses to kill Theodore in one of her earrings.
- Revenge: The Faceless Old Woman's motivation for the entire book.
- Shaped Like Itself: When presented with the cut-off fingers he requested, "Holger winced like a person who had just had a bloodstained bag full of body parts thrust at him."
- Sole Survivor: Rebekah is the only one to escape the trap that Edmond sets.
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Squick: The Faceless Old Woman drives off a woman she thinks is unsuitable for Craig by using his phone to text her an image of a raccoon being eaten by a coyote. - Sweet Polly Oliver: Rebekah often disguises herself as a man and even lives as one for extended periods - in her youth, a la Yentl, to attend yeshiva, and after retiring from piracy, she becomes a town's rabbi, even marrying the old rabbi's daughter (the only person who knows Rebekah's true identity).
- The Big Guy: Lora the Giant, true to her name, is over seven feet tall.
