Literature / Life's Little Instruction Book

The Yang to The Devil's Dictionary's Yin.^note Also, that's the cover of the first edition, released in 1991.

"Most of us already know how to live a successful and purposeful life. We know we should be understanding and thoughtful, responsible, courageous, and appreciative. It's just that we sometimes need reminding."

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Life's Little Instruction Book is an advice and self-help book released in three volumes throughout The '90s, and is the magnum opus of Tennessee writer Horace Jackson Brown, Jr. (March 14th, 1940 — November 30th, 2021)

The book was initially concieved as a going-away gift for his college-bound son, Adam, in the autumn of 1990. H. Jackson thought that he should provide him with a collection of instructions, advice tidbits, and other personal observations for him, to help guide his son through life as he "would soon find himself standing at life's most challenging crossroads".

The elder Brown would mail him a new collection every two years, which he didn't anticipate would not only be made into bestselling books, but the first volume became the first book in history to reach the top of The New York Times' bestseller list in both hardcover and paperback, at the same time.

Today, it's available in more than thirty languages and is a valued self-help guide throughout the world, even if some of its entries are a tad dated.

Tropes covered by Life's Little Instruction Book include:

• Affection-Hating Kid:
  728. Hold your child's hand every chance you get. The time will come all too soon when he or she won't let you.
• Affluent Ascetic:
  17. Live beneath your means.
• Animal Lover:
  535. Remember the advice of our friend Ken Beck: When you see a box turtle crossing the road, stop and put it safely on the other side.
• April Fools' Day:
  933. Fool someone on April 1st.
• Baldness Angst:
  880. Never tell a man he's losing his hair. He already knows.
• Blunt "No":
  996. When you mean no, say it in a way that's not ambiguous.
• Bookshelf of Authority:
  18. Buy great books, even if you never read them.
• Books vs. Screens:
  711. Read more books.
  712. Watch less TV.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer:
  1004. You may dress unconventionally, but remember, the more strangely you dress, the better you have to be.
• Calling Parents by Their Name:
  1061. Don't allow your children or grandchildren to call you by your first name.
• Can't Take Criticism:
  812. Don't be thin-skinned. Take criticism as well as praise with equal grace.
  891. Listen to your critics. They will keep you informed and innnovative.
• Carpe Diem:
  322. Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
• Compilation Re-release: Later in the decade, The Complete Life's Little Instruction Book was released, which contained all three volumes in one book.
• Crazy-Prepared:
  981. Be better prepared than you think you need to be.
• Crossing the Burnt Bridge:
  291. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
• Cute Kitten:
  397. Never acquire just one kitten. Two are a lot more fun and no more trouble.
• Debt Detester:
  895. Remember the old proverb, "Out of debt, out of danger."
• Dedication: The beginning of The Complete Life's Little Instruction Book dedicates the whole thing to Brown's son:
  For Adam, my son and in many ways my teacher.
  Son, how can I help you see?
  May I give you my shoulders to stand on?
  Now you see farther than me.
  Now you see for both of us.
  Won't you tell me what you see?
• Despair Event Horizon:
  138. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.
• Directionless Driver:
  804. When you're lost, admit it, and ask for directions.
• Don't Celebrate Just Yet:
  560. Never claim a victory prematurely.
• Drugs Are Bad:
  81. Don't mess with drugs, and don't associate with those who do.
• Due to the Dead:
  841. When your dog dies, frame his collar and put it above a window facing west.
• Egomaniac Hunter:
  289. Find some other way of proving your manhood than by shooting defenseless animals and birds.
• Establishing Character Moment:
  474. Be prepared. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
• Exiled to the Couch:
  1341. No matter how angry you are with your wife, never sleep apart.
• Famous for Being First:
  324. Don't delay acting on a good idea. Chances are someone else has just thought of it, too. Success comes to the one who acts first.
• Fearless Fool:
  961. Don't confuse foolishness with bravery.
• The Fettered:
  453. Never compromise your integrity.
  929. Never swap your integrity for money, power, or fame.
• Fingore:
  839. Never grab at a falling knife.
• Forgotten Birthday:
  4. Remember other people's birthdays.
• Friend to All Living Things:
  202. Show respect for all living things.
• Funny Answering Machine:
  154. Resist the temptation to put a cute message on your answering machine.
• The Golden Rule:
  33. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
  1145. Hold yourself to the same high standards you require of others.
• Good Is Not Soft:
  746. Be humble and polite, but don't let anyone push you around.
• Goofy Print Underwear:
  127. Wear audacious underwear under the most solemn business attire.
• Graceful Loser:
  360. Be prepared to lose once in a while.
  915. Accept the fact that regardless of how many times you are right, you will sometimes be wrong.
• Green-Eyed Monster:
  321. Refrain from envy. It's the source of much unhappiness.
• Happily Married:
  180. Be your wife's best friend.
• Heel Realization: Downplayed.
  1514. Question your prejudices.
• Hello, [Insert Name Here]: Conspicuously averted with the verbatim text of one entry. Then again, the collection was initially meant for his son only.
  744. Introduce yourself to someone you would like to meet by smiling and saying, "My name is Adam Brown. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you."
• Honest Corporate Executive:
  890. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
• Honor Thy Parent: The end of each volume beseeches the reader to do just this:
  511. Call your mother.
  1028. Call your dad.
  1560. Include your parents in your prayers.
• Hope Bringer:
  1157. Offer hope.
• Immortality Through Memory:
  816. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
• Insistent Terminology:
  850. Don't call a fishing rod a "pole", a line a "rope", a rifle a "gun", or a ship a "boat".
• Jury Duty:
  516. Never refuse jury duty. It is your civic responsibility, and you'll learn a lot.
• Kids Driving Cars:
  948. Never leave a youngster in the car without taking the car keys.
• Kids Hate Vegetables:
  1259. Don't make eating everything on their plate an issue with children.
• The Law of Conservation of Detail:
  177. Learn to recognize the inconsequential; then ignore it.
• Mama Didn't Raise No Criminal:
  883. Never say, "My child would never do that."
• Marry for Love:
  509. Marry only for love.
• invokedNausea Fuel:
  401. Don't ever watch hot dogs or sausage being made.
  814. Never eat liver at a restaurant. Some things should be done only in the privacy of one's home.
• Never Lend to a Friend:
  243. Be cautious about lending money to friends. You might lose both.
• Nice to the Waiter:
  452. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
  675. Be as friendly to the janitor as you are to the chairman of the board.
  727. Show extra respect for people whose jobs put dirt under their fingernails.
  846. Just because you earn a decent wage, don't look down on those who don't. To put things in perspective, consider what would happen to the public good if you didn't do your job for 30 days. Then, consider the consequences if sanitation workers didn't do their jobs for 30 days. Now, whose job is more important?
  1181. Be especially courteous to receptionists and secretaries; they are the gate-keepers.
• Non-Answer:
  555. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
• Noodle Incident:
  1465. Never fry bacon while naked.
• Off the Record:
  894. Never say anything to a news reporter that you don't want to see on the front page of your local paper. Comments made "off the record" seldom are.
• One of the Kids:
  1309. Be the first adult to jump into the pool or run into the ocean with the kids. They will love you for it.
• Pain to the Ass:
  1466. Never squat with your spurs on.
• Photo-Booth Montage:
  1069. Take some silly photos of yourself and a friend in an instant photo booth.
• Pointy-Haired Boss:
  1008. Be suspicious of a boss who schedules meetings instead of making decisions.
• Prayer of Malice:
  1404. Be grateful that God doesn't answer all of your prayers.
• Read the Fine Print:
  176. Read carefully anything that requires your signature. Remember that the big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
• The Real Heroes:
  823. The next time you're standing next to a police officer, firefighter, or paramedic, tell them that you appreciate what they do for the community.
• Real Men Cook:
  1116. Teach your sons as well as your daughters to cook.
• Riddle for the Ages:
  970. Let some things remain mysterious.
• Rudely Hanging Up:
  1144. If you dial a wrong number, don't just hang up; offer an apology.
• Rule #1: Every single advice-tidbit is numbered from 1 to well over 1,000, and they indeed all start with this:
  1. Compliment three people every day.
• Shout-Out: Brown added a few references to some works that he felt were worth checking out:
  239. Watch the movie It's a Wonderful Life every Christmas.
  791. Every so often watch Sesame Street.
  918. Watch The Andy Griffith Show to help keep things in perspective.
  957. Watch the movie Regarding Henry.
  958. Watch the movie Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.
  1019. Read Thoreau's Walden.
  1495. Watch reruns of The Wonder Years.
• Singing in the Shower:
  11. Sing in the shower.
• Sins of Our Fathers:
  546. Don't judge people by their relatives.
• Slave to PR:
  420. Take care of your reputation. It's your most valuable asset.
• Small Role, Big Impact:
  1104. Never forget that it takes only one person or one idea to change your life forever.
• Smile Tropes:
  525. When you feel terrific, notify your face.
• Splash of Color:
  992. Buy a red umbrella. It's easier to find among all the black ones, and it adds a little color to rainy days.
• invokedSquick:
  545. Never pick up anything off the floor of a cab.
• Stealing from the Till:
  959. Never "borrow" so much as a pencil from your workplace.
• Street Musician:
  390. Street musicians are a treasure. Stop for a moment and listen; then leave a small donation.
• Suppressed Rage:
  943. When you get really angry, stick your hands in your pockets.
• Surprise Party:
  1110. Throw a surprise birthday party for a friend.
• Taught by Experience:
  296. See problems as opportunities for growth and self-mastery.
  489. Don't make the same mistake twice.
  1065. When no great harm will result, let your children do it their way, even if you know they are wrong. They will learn more from their mistakes than from their successes.
• Too Much Information:
  742. Keep your private thoughts private.
• Underestimating Badassery:
  1095. Teach your children never to underestimate someone with a disability.
• Vetinari Job Security:
  903. Perform your job better than anyone else can. That's the best job security I know.
• Wanting Is Better Than Having:
  927. Remember that half the joy of achievement is in the anticipation.
• Weight Woe:
  1097. Never comment on someone's weight unless you know it's what they want to hear.
• When All You Have Is a Hammer…:
  1401. Exercise caution the first day you buy a chain saw. You'll be tempted to cut down everything in the neighborhood.
• Working Out Their Emotions:
  1510. When you're angry, take a thirty-minute walk; when you're really angry, chop some firewood.
• You Must Be Cold:
  743. Put your jacket around your girlfriend on a chilly evening.

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